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Did you ever walk in on someone having a ****?

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    #32
    Intensive Care Bear
    Registered Users Posts: 661 ✭✭✭Intensive Care Bear


    Years ago my housemate walked into the sitting room just as i was about to cum into an empty McFlurry container (my missus had been giving me a blowjob and for reason she thought this was a good place to finish off) I had to do a superman dive across the room and slam the door in his face.


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    #33
    2 stroke
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭2 stroke


    Absolutly amazing how the world can change in a few years. As a teenager, we swam naked in the local river, if someone got their hands on a dirty mag, we stuck the pages together. At college, we had a video player in our gaff, some of the lads might have girls around, the rest of us did what men had to do. When we started driving, we screwed girls in our cars, down the lane beside the local river. Sometimes 2 couples in the same car.
    Nowadays, lads get embarrassed if they have a tent in their trousers in public, and they can't go swimming without baggy trunks and they watch porn in secret .
    For gawds sake, men get erections and have to deal with them.


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    #34
    Vote 4 Pedro
    Registered Users Posts: 1,015 ✭✭✭Vote 4 Pedro


    I lived with foster parents for a while when i was young and they were a little odd to say the least.

    He was around 55 ish and he use to sleep down stairs in an arm chair all the time and me having to get up early one morning for something like a school trip I walked into the living room and he was sat there fast asleep, he was sat upright in the chair with his pants around his ankles with his lad out and the two collie dogs licking his dick and the jizz. I swear this is true on my life...

    She worked nights in a nursing home and she was a real bitch, when she got home in the morning she would go upstairs and get changed into her dressing gown and sit in the front room watching telly and she would sort of lean over a bit on the arm rest...then as she got more tired she would lie down and the dressing gown would rise up a bit as she tried to get comfy, she would have nothing on down there....what a sight, the black hole and hair everywhere,

    I think it scared me for life.
    Still gives me shivers down my spine to think of it 40 years later.


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    #35
    Youngblood.III
    Site Banned Posts: 777 ✭✭✭Youngblood.III


    2 stroke wrote: »
    Absolutly amazing how the world can change in a few years. As a teenager, we swam naked in the local river, if someone got their hands on a dirty mag, we stuck the pages together. At college, we had a video player in our gaff, some of the lads might have girls around, the rest of us did what men had to do. When we started driving, we screwed girls in our cars, down the lane beside the local river. Sometimes 2 couples in the same car.
    Nowadays, lads get embarrassed if they have a tent in their trousers in public, and they can't go swimming without baggy trunks and they watch porn in secret .
    For gawds sake, men get erections and have to deal with them.

    Are you from Cavan?


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    #36
    2 stroke
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭2 stroke


    Youngblood.III wrote: »
    Are you from Cavan?
    No. Why Cavan?


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    #37
    Youngblood.III
    Site Banned Posts: 777 ✭✭✭Youngblood.III


    2 stroke wrote: »
    No. Why Cavan?

    Sounds like you are...strange ideas up that way.


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    #38
    michellie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,691 ✭✭✭michellie


    I think I did, I was in work at the time in a hospital and walked into the office and I swear he was. I didn't see anything but he nearly had a heart attack when I opened the door and he went bright red. :)


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    #39
    Ansum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭Ansum


    Was he the doctor or the patient?


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    #40
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Friend of mine walked in on a fellow masturbating over another guy...who was sound asleep on a couch after a night of drink.


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    #41
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    lickme wrote: »
    Have "two friends" who were out on the lash together with a group and have been friends since childhood. This friend is a bit of a perv and a bit odd with the ladies, like a stalker type. Went back to his and had a few beers and then says he got a new porno. I actually feel uncomfortable watching porn with other people. He then proceeds to take his mickey out and start fapping away in front of me. I asked him wtf are you doing and he said, "sure what like? Is porn what do you expect me to do?" I got up and left straight away, half scarred and wondering what the hell i say to him next time I saw him. I said it to other friends who were in the horrors laughing. One of them said it to him and he was mortified and blamed the booze and couldn't remember. He wasn't that drunk but I said he was scuttered just to save him a little grace. I think he expected me to start fapping with him or something.

    Someone probably bet me to it, but I dont suppose he now works as a DJ in Cork?


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    #42
    SouthTippBass
    Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭SouthTippBass


    Was caught myself before, sure what can you do except laugh it off? Knock next time ****ers! :D


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    #43
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    2 stroke wrote: »
    Absolutly amazing how the world can change in a few years. As a teenager, we swam naked in the local river, if someone got their hands on a dirty mag, we stuck the pages together. At college, we had a video player in our gaff, some of the lads might have girls around, the rest of us did what men had to do. When we started driving, we screwed girls in our cars, down the lane beside the local river. Sometimes 2 couples in the same car.
    Nowadays, lads get embarrassed if they have a tent in their trousers in public, and they can't go swimming without baggy trunks and they watch porn in secret .
    For gawds sake, men get erections and have to deal with them.
    Apt username


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    #44
    michellie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,691 ✭✭✭michellie


    Ansum wrote: »
    Was he the doctor or the patient?

    Doctor I was working for.


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    #45
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Yeah in the bathroom. Why the **** he didn't lock the door is beyond me, but whatever.


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    #46
    Youngblood.III
    Site Banned Posts: 777 ✭✭✭Youngblood.III


    Or ****'n'walk......



    .......hole in pocket


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    #47
    Ansum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭Ansum


    Michellie: Doctor I was working for.

    I bet I can guess his sector. Gynecologist. Because other than that, I don't know what the other sectors have to stroke about.


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    #48
    michellie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,691 ✭✭✭michellie


    Ansum wrote: »
    Michellie: Doctor I was working for.

    I bet I can guess his sector. Gynecologist. Because other than that, I don't know what the other sectors have to stroke about.

    Nope it wasn't.


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    #49
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    Just to keep the gender balance right ,did any of ye ever walk in on a ladywank?

    And what did you do?


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    #50
    Tom Dunne
    Registered Users Posts: 23,212 ✭✭✭✭Tom Dunne


    This thread reminds me of wise words once spoken:

    What's the most sensitive part of your body while ****?

    Your ears.


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    #51
    Drakares
    Registered Users Posts: 904 ✭✭✭Drakares


    No but my ould one found my **** sock..

    When she realized what it was she dropped it to the ground where it shattered to a thousand pieces.


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    #52
    GreatDefector
    Registered Users Posts: 540 ✭✭✭GreatDefector


    Drakares wrote: »
    No but my ould one found my **** sock..

    When she realized what it was she dropped it to the ground where it shattered to a thousand pieces.

    What? The floor?


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    #53
    arayess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭arayess


    skittles8710 wrote: »
    Ya, my dad. Satellite nudey channels. Traumatising.

    That deserves a full thread to itself !!!


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    #54
    Bonzo Delaney
    Registered Users Posts: 1,577 ✭✭✭Bonzo Delaney


    arayess wrote: »
    That deserves a full thread to itself !!!

    Thread ???!!!
    A whole effin forum wouldn't sort that out


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    #55
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Had a really embarrassing event as a young lad. This was pre-internet and satellite TV days, so material was scarce, as was info on all things taboo. There was a rumour going around at the time that prince had had a rib removed so he could perform self-fellatio. It had never occurred to me until that time that this was possible. I was fairly athletic and flexible at that time so I was curious to see if it was possible without removing a rib. I was on the couch in one room and my mam was watching the news on TV in another. I decided to test this theory but couldn't get close. I then had the brilliant idea that if I lay down on my shoulders on the couch and pull my body over my head, I could use the weight of my lower body and also pull my legs towards me to get closer. It was at this time I heard the door opening. I fell off the couch to see the back of my mams head leaving the room.

    It has never been spoken about since!


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    #56
    fryup
    Registered Users Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    ^^^^^^^^^^^

    were you in the nip whilst trying that manoeuvre??


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    #57
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,730 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    When I was in my teanage years, me and the lads got a VHS and decided to watch it late at night.
    One of the lads just went to autopilot and started stroking. We had to tell him to knock it out off which he obliged in doing. He still gets slagged about it near 20 years later.

    I worked in a hostel, one of the jobs was to check up on the jacks around reception from time to time. I lost count on the amount of times I've walked in on lads whacking off in there. There was also a lad there that was going to town on himself in the lobby area. Not sure if or where he finished.


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