Man receives sexual act while unconscious, gets accused of sexual assault

Nucular Arms

Forest Demon wrote: »

They don't come forward because it very rarely if ever happens. it is all to common for women unfortunately. False rape claims and physical assault yes but actual sexual assault from a woman to a man is not common. Maybe she is right and was assaulted by the man and now he claims he was asleep. He did not run to the police the next day.

Literally happened to my brother about a month ago.

He brought a friend from work and her other friend back one night after a messy friday drinking session, got absolutely s**t faced and then went and passed out alone in his bed.

After about an hour or so the friend of the work colleague (who was an insufferable b**ch it must be said) starts whinging about how she wanted to get her hole that night and was annoyed now that she couldn't because my brother was passed out.

After we all failed to take the bait anyway she basically just marched upstairs into his room and spent the night there.

The next day we were asking my brother what the story was and he was absolutely shocked. Had no memory of it at all.

We were sort of laughing about it and all at first, but then it occurred to me that, were the roles reversed this would have been considered a legitimate rape / sexual assault case.

Samaris

Forest Demon wrote: »

They don't come forward because it very rarely if ever happens. it is all to common for women unfortunately. False rape claims and physical assault yes but actual sexual assault from a woman to a man is not common. Maybe she is right and was assaulted by the man and now he claims he was asleep. He did not run to the police the next day.

Pretty dangerous thing to say, that. Firstly, the male didn't neccessarily even know it had happened. Secondly, he may have become aware, but forgot it (until the chaos started). Thirdly; can you really imagine a teenage boy going to the police, even if he felt really uncomfortable and violated by the incident, to report that a girl sucked him the previous night without permission? He'd be laughed out of it by anyone who heard about it.

And fourthly, the girl's text messages gave her away big-time.

Forest Demon

Samaris wrote: »

Pretty dangerous thing to say, that. Firstly, the male didn't neccessarily even know it had happened. Secondly, he may have become aware, but forgot it (until the chaos started). Thirdly; can you really imagine a teenage boy going to the police, even if he felt really uncomfortable and violated by the incident, to report that a girl sucked him the previous night without permission? He'd be laughed out of it by anyone who heard about it.

And fourthly, the girl's text messages gave her away big-time.

Fair enough but I really don't think it's a common issue. I don't know and have never heard of any blokes who ever claim to have been violated by a girl sucking him without permission except maybe when they are caught by the wife/girlfriend. As a woman how easy would all many of you accept that excuse?

I am only talking about that aspect. False claims, drugging and physical assault yes but actual sexual assault by a woman against a man has to be very rare. How many cases in court in the last 10 years in Ireland?

Samaris

It was actually this line I was really arguing with:

"Maybe she is right and was assaulted by the man and now he claims he was asleep. He did not run to the police the next day."

I do agree it is rare, but that's never a reason to automatically disbelieve someone when the weight of evidence is in their favour. Female victims are finally being listened to (albeit not as much as they should be), so we should and must do the same for male victims.

In terms of would I accept that excuse - yes, from my partner whom I love and trust. And you can bet I would be just as enraged at the woman who did it as he would be on my behalf should I be assaulted by a male.

Wibbs

Sonderkommando wrote: »

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mattress_Performance_(Carry_That_Weight)

The fact that it was positivity reviewed genuinely scares me.

There aren't enough facepalm memes in the world to adequately explain my feelings on that. Talk about a nutjob noticebox. "I've been raped, so I'll wait months while chatting with and hanging out with my rapist to bring charges in an environment that will automatically believe me, then when that doesn't work I'll carry my "rape mattress" around and make a full on porno as art" said nobody ever. Well nobody who wasn't resident in a secure facility with soft bouncy walls and backwardly fastening jackets.

"Art critic Jerry Saltz called Mattress Performance "pure radical vulnerability" and one of the best art shows of 2014." Da fuq? :eek: Is the current art world so bereft of ideas that this gets called one of the best art shows?

This bit is laughable: "The mattress, housed since May 2015 in Sulkowicz's parents' home, became an icon of a wider civil rights debate about the effect of campus sexual assault on women's equal access to education

Now a mattress is an icon. Like the 2001 monolith only softer. The real joke is that "women's equal access to education" in the US and Canada(and indeed here) is a stupid line to take, given that women outnumber men in colleges and that gap is widening(In Canada it's 3 to 1). Then again reality seems to be a hard concept for these kinda eejits.

The crowning glory is shooting a porno as art about rape mind you. "Notice me!! Notice meeeee! Do these kinda thundering gobshítes live in such an echo box of nonsense that cop on and good sense bounces off them? WTF do her family and friends think? Wouldn't be surprised that they're fully supportive though, even encouraging. There is a small section of your middle class college society that are so distanced from reality that they are I think the term is "Batshít crazy" Beggars belief.

DellyBelly

Deleted User wrote: »

Source - http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/man-receives-sex-act-while-blacked-out

Nice!!!

OneOfThem

Forest Demon wrote: »

but actual sexual assault by a woman against a man has to be very rare. How many cases in court in the last 10 years in Ireland?

I don't think the amount of court cases is going to give you an accurate figure for how often it happens, for obvious reasons.

As a man I can think of three instances that would certainly qualify as sexual assault if my place and the girls in question were switched. I didn't report any to the police as I basically didn't think of it as a big deal, but there's no doubt that it was sexual assault as the law would define it and if the genders were switched I'd have thought of it as such straight off.

I can think a few different incidents male friends would have told me about happening to them over the years as well. Definitely would fall under the legal definition of sexual assault. None would have reported them to the police though.

I don't think it's extremely common, no one in four claims here or anything ridiculous like that, but I definitely definitely don't think it's vanishingly rare like you seem to. I think you'd get some shock tbh.

tritium

Forest Demon wrote: »

They don't come forward because it very rarely if ever happens. it is all to common for women unfortunately. False rape claims and physical assault yes but actual sexual assault from a woman to a man is not common. Maybe she is right and was assaulted by the man and now he claims he was asleep. He did not run to the police the next day.

Could you provide the citation to the research your basing such a definitive statement on? Because I'm assuming your not just pulling it out of your ass and treating it as fact, right?

biko

Reminds me of a fairly recent case where a guy was accused of rape.
As it happened he had filmed the intercourse and could use this to prove it was consensual.
He was then convicted of taping the act without the girl's consent.

Just can't ****ing win sometimes.

LadyFenghuang

In the United States, the FBI Uniform Crime Report in 1996 and the United States Department of Justice in 1997 stated 8% of rape accusations in the United States were regarded as unfounded or false.The FBI reports consistently put the number of “unfounded” rape accusations around 8%. NOT 80 % but 8%.

LadyFenghuang

LadyFenghuang wrote: »

In the United States, the FBI Uniform Crime Report in 1996 and the United States Department of Justice in 1997 stated 8% of rape accusations in the United States were regarded as unfounded or false.The FBI reports consistently put the number of “unfounded” rape accusations around 8%. NOT 80 % but 8%.

But so should any other numbers, such as the 8 percent figure that is commonly attributed to the FBI. When you dig into the research itself, you find it is often heavily inflected with the authors' prior beliefs about what constitutes the “real problem”: unreported cases of rape or false reports? So Kanin is frequently chided for accepting the results of a police department investigation that included offering the victims a polygraph, because this is intimidating for true victims as well as women making false reports, and it could raise the incidence of false negatives. On the other hand, if the rate of false rape reports is quite high -- much higher than that of other crimes -- then this might be a reasonable precaution. It’s possible that by encouraging police departments not to polygraph rape victims, we have fixed a cruel system in which innocent victims are bullied into recanting. It’s also possible that we’ve increased the number of false accusations that proceed to investigation and conviction.

Source: Bloombergview.com

That article also mentions a 41% rate. The truth is that we will never know the true number.

Letree

Rough Sleeper wrote: »

Gotta call you up on your closing remark there. You're making the mistake of basing the prevalence of an occurrence on its exposure in the media. You're invoking two cases here and extrapolating from them to suggest that this problem is endemic, a pretty serious claim. In reality, I'd imagine that you'd find only a handful of such cases if you searched around, most of them from the US, a country of more than 300 million people. This reminds me of the recent case of the young girl dying after taking drugs purported to be ecstasy, and the views I saw expressed which seemed to suggest that taking pills was akin to playing a game of Russian roulette. In reality, the chance of such an event is extremely low, and I'd say that in reality cases like the one you've mentioned are very rare. The fact that similar occurrences are unusual makes them newsworthy items by nature, which can skew perception of how much they actually happen.

For sure, based on the limited information given it sounds very unfair, but it's a bit of a stretch to label instances like it as endemic.

The problem is the rules are there that allowed him be shafted so badly.

NachoBusiness

Conall Cernach wrote: »

I don't know about you but my trouser snake has a mind of its own and makes itself known at completely random times regardless of my state of consciousness.

Think that's what this woman was hoping for.

Forest Demon

tritium wrote: »

Could you provide the citation to the research your basing such a definitive statement on? Because I'm assuming your not just pulling it out of your ass and treating it as fact, right?

As soon as I conclude my research into badgers not being the cause of baldness I will get right on it.

Samaris

I fear for what fury I may unleash here, but I want to call bullsh*t on how this is being reported. "Man sexually assaulted while blacked out". That so difficult, Washington Post? Not "received sex act" as if he was a consenting partner to a bit of fun, dammit, assaulted.


Sheesh. We still have a long way to go.

NI24

Overheal wrote: »

A big issue in particular is under-reporting of sexual assault in addition to poor handling of sexual assault grievances. The problem is heavily contributed to publicity: universities resist disclosing reports of sexual assault because publication of such incidents can have a direct impact on enrollment; nobody wants to send their daughter to a school where she can be abducted and raped while she's out for a jog on a campus walkway, or has her drink spiked at a party. In the latter, I hear about such incidents/accusations on the regular from sororities of specific fraternities, yet those complaints never make it to the media cycle - either because they're uncorroborated or the university refuses to look into it, can't be sure which.

Me too. There are some colleges where sororities have lists of men to avoid at parties (they always belong to fraternities) because they are known around campus for spiking drinks. I have a theory that the reason these types of assaults go unreported is because they always seem to involve fraternity guys and guys that get into fraternities generally have some connections. So maybe it's just a class thing.

RDM_83 again

NI24 wrote: »

Me too. There are some colleges where sororities have lists of men to avoid at parties (they always belong to fraternities) because they are known around campus for spiking drinks. I have a theory that the reason these types of assaults go unreported is because they always seem to involve fraternity guys and guys that get into fraternities generally have some connections. So maybe it's just a class thing.

Does spiking actually happen though or is it like Ireland and the UK where there's a perception it happens a lot but no evidence for it.
(spiking with extra alcohol I believe probably does happen)

NI24

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Does spiking actually happen though or is it like Ireland and the UK where there's a perception it happens a lot but no evidence for it.
(spiking with extra alcohol I believe probably does happen)

I believe it only because it's almost always fraternity guys. I don't want to turn this into a fraternity bashing thread, but where I went to college the fraternity guys were loathed by both men and women alike for their obnoxious and creepy behavior. The students, the staff, you name it. These guys have a lot of pull and they're untouchable in a lot of cases, especially if they're athletes. So while a girl certainly shouldn't fear getting assaulted on a jog (that can happen anywhere and rarely happens anyway), she should certainly watch herself at a party on a college campus.

Vannavolga44

Vannavolga44 wrote: »

Wasn't spiking actually found to be incredibly rare in Ireland.

There's a few people I know that were spiked. In Galway there were rumours that a nightclub barman was purposefully spiking drinks, "for the laugh". Obviously I won't mention any names.

RDM_83 again

[Deleted User] wrote: »

There's a few people I know that were spiked. In Galway there were rumours that a nightclub barman was purposefully spiking drinks, "for the laugh". Obviously I won't mention any names.

Its always rumours I don't think its ever actually been shown to happen, people don't have a clue how much they drink especially if they are predrinking, add to that sometimes alcohol just hits you differently for a variety of reasons, I am reasonable body weight and a pretty hardened drinker and there has been times I've been absolutely wrecked on far less than normal.

NI24 wrote: »

I believe it only because it's almost always fraternity guys. I don't want to turn this into a fraternity bashing thread, but where I went to college the fraternity guys were loathed by both men and women alike for their obnoxious and creepy behavior. The students, the staff, you name it. These guys have a lot of pull and they're untouchable in a lot of cases, especially if they're athletes. So while a girl certainly shouldn't fear getting assaulted on a jog (that can happen anywhere and rarely happens anyway), she should certainly watch herself at a party on a college campus.

I don't doubt that they are creeps and probably abuse their position but my experience with american college students (in Ireland admittedly) is that spiking with drugs wouldn't even be needed they tend to be lightweights with no idea of their limits. This isn't trying to victim blame if you molest/assault somebody thats in bits its bad whether you spiked them deliberately or not