Would you have an issue with a family member being gay?

freshpopcorn

Well I had a fair idea that my brother was gay before he came out to me. So it wasn't really a surprise or an issue for me.
My parents to were grand about it. My farther who's a farmer in his earlier sixties didn't have the slightest issue. He is a mass going man and says the rosary every night. He might have made the odd homopobic comment in the past but it was nothing too serious. Especially since he came out homosexuality was normalised to him. I find this is the case with a good few people.
With the referendum coming up you'd see a good bit of stuff in social media of people saying. " I'm going to indoctornate my children with the law of God". "II'm wouldn't accept that lifestyle" "If Ireland votes in favour of this gay sex is going to taught in schools." I would have expected comments like this to be coming from people of the older generation but I noticed a lot of them were coming from both men and women in there thirties/Forties. To be honest with you it scares me that a lot of these people are bring up children/have families.
Would you have an issue with your child or sibling being gay?

YFlyer

No.

Leogirl

Nope!!

ShoulderChip

YFlyer wrote: »

No.

Hopefully they do start teaching gay sex in schools

mzungu

None whatsoever.

El_Duderino 09

Nope. I have gay family members. One is raising her child in a same sex relationship. They go to work, go to the park , raise their child, just like regular people.

Other people's sexual orientation isn't my business.

YFlyer

ShoulderChip wrote: »

Hopefully they do start teaching gay sex in schools

Brilliant idea.

Streetwalker

No not in any way. I'd be annoyed if they hid it though. This is the 21st century if you've a problem with someone being gay go join ISIS or some other backward **** ed up cult.

December2012

Not at all.

dd972

Of course not, my dress sense is crap, someone's got to guide me




p.s, can we have a Traveller thread after 23 pages of this ?

SpaceTime

Of course not.

whupdedo

I can't see what all the fuss is about ,I don't think I've met anyone yet who's against it , most people's reply is to let people do whatever they want ,sur what harm

I think some people are looking for someone to have an argument about it and are disappointed when most people agree with ssm

jam_mac_jam

I can't even understand why anybody would, so no. Unless it was my Da, that would be weird because he has been married to my mother for a long time. Other then that, why would I care or would it even be my business?

SpaceTime

I think quite a few people are actually participating in the American redneck debate via their own little online bubble too.

I sincerely hope there's a decent turnout on the Yes side for the SSM referendum.
A low turnout could inflate the no side's presence big time.

So, make sure you continue to harass lazy people!

Macavity.

I'd be a little freaked if my Dad came out.

michael999999

Streetwalker wrote: »

No not in any way. I'd be annoyed if they hid it though. This is the 21st century if you've a problem with someone being gay go join ISIS or some other backward **** ed up cult.

Iona institute?

Paramite Pie

ShoulderChip wrote: »

Hopefully they do start teaching gay sex in schools

Anal sex would be the same for hetero people though. Without the option of swapsies of course. I think it's fine to keep it universal and de-stigmatise anal sex for all. Makes it easier for in-the-closet teens to ask about it without drawing extra attention.

shruikan2553

I wouldnt have a problem with it but I would be concerned over how they are treated by others.

Paramite Pie wrote: »

Anal sex would be the same for hetero people though. Without the option of swapsies of course. I think it's fine to keep it universal and de-stigmatise anal sex for all. Makes it easier for in-the-closet teens to ask about it without drawing extra attention.

You have much to learn. :pac:

SterlingArcher

This thread is ghey.

I wish my brother was gay. his taste in women is ****, and he might then look slightly less like a hobo. Sorry if that last bit was hobophomic.

Witchie

Was asking my almost 70 year old, mass going, religious dad the other day and his comments where "sure why the f**k not, what they do in their houses is nothing to do with me" Pity he won't be in the country to vote in May but was pleased he feels like this coz I know my mum is liberal but was worried about his viewpoints.

If one of my family came out there would be no problem at all thankfully with any of us.

Guy:Incognito

I was bloody outraged when my husband told me he was Gay. Kicked him out and refuse to speak to him since.

RobAMerc

hate to be too serious but it scares the sh*t out of me that one of my kids will be gay. I cannot stand the thoughts of them having to deal with the prejudice and inequality, not to mention the angst gay folk must go thought while coming to terms with it themselves, bring a teenager is **** enough without feeling something about them is different in some way ( and sadly some maybe made feel its wrong ) . I'm not yet a good enough parent to help them through it.

Filmer Paradise

A fudge packer in my family.:eek:

Not on my watch, No way sireee.

pablo128

No. In fact one of my brothers is gay. He thinks I have a problem with it though, and being gay, has to be all dramatic about it. He doesn't speak to me.

Idiot.

dd972

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

I was bloody outraged when my husband told me he was Gay. Kicked him out and refuse to speak to him since.

Plus your Double-income-no-kids scam was blown to boot...

JonEBGud

Homosexuality is not normal, neither is Autism or Downes Syndrome nor Crohns Disease but people are born with these conditions and they have no say in their creation.
All of us lucky people should be grateful. IMO.

JacquesDeLad

I'd have no issue with it, and I'd hope they wouldn't be afraid to tell me.

scary

JonEBGud wrote: »

Homosexuality is not normal, neither is Autism or Downes Syndrome nor Crohns Disease but people are born with these conditions and they have no say in their creation.
All of us lucky people should be grateful. IMO.

WTF

Filmer Paradise

RobAMerc wrote: »

hate to be too serious but it scares the sh*t out of me that one of my kids will be gay. I cannot stand the thoughts of them having to deal with the prejudice and inequality, not to mention the angst gay folk must go thought while coming to terms with it themselves, bring a teenager is **** enough without feeling something about them is different in some way ( and sadly some maybe made feel its wrong ) . I'm not yet a good enough parent to help them through it.

Tis a tricky one alright.

The vast majority of us have no understanding of being attracted sexually to someone of the same sex.

greenfrogs

No I wouldn't have an issue. I was watching First dates on channel 4 a few weeks back. There was one woman on it who was gay and her parents no longer spoke to her because of that. The woman seemed upset about it but wasn't angry or bitter about it. She was quite manner of fact about it. I thought it was so sad. It really hit a nerve. Those people don't deserve to be called parents. Imagine no longer speaking to your child because they are gay. I just can't get my head around it.

DareGod

RobAMerc wrote: »

hate to be too serious but it scares the sh*t out of me that one of my kids will be gay. I cannot stand the thoughts of them having to deal with the prejudice and inequality, not to mention the angst gay folk must go thought while coming to terms with it themselves, bring a teenager is **** enough without feeling something about them is different in some way ( and sadly some maybe made feel its wrong ) . I'm not yet a good enough parent to help them through it.

So you wouldn't have an issue with a family member being gay. What you have the issue with is the thoughts of a family member having a difficult life in any way. Nobody wants their kids to have a difficult life. Life is always going to be difficult, though, in lots of different ways. You can't bubble-wrap your kids and keep them in your pocket forever, unfortunately. And it's becoming less difficult for gay people as time goes on. If you want to be a good enough parent to help them through it, all you have to do is remind them that you love them no matter what, you'll support and fight for them no matter what and that being gay is as "wrong" as being straight.

DareGod

P.S. The question is like something from 20 years ago.

RobAMerc

JonEBGud wrote: »

Homosexuality is not normal,

Eh, yes it is, its just not not in the majority.

JonEBGud wrote: »

neither is Autism or Downes Syndrome nor Crohns Disease but people are born with these conditions and they have no say in their creation.

I'm not sure liking it to a disease makes this get any better.

JonEBGud wrote: »

All of us lucky people should be grateful. IMO.

At least you got this mostly right, try "All of us lucky people should be grateful for something."

JacquesDeLad

We'd all like to live a picture postcard life but, despite appearances, I don't think many do.

Being different will always be tough but having the support of the people closest to you can insulate against the worst that's thrown at you.

scudzilla

Yes, i would

efb

Another one?

Hell yes! No one steals my thunder!!!


No. Not at all.

RobAMerc

DareGod wrote: »

So you wouldn't have an issue with a family member being gay. What you have the issue with is the thoughts of a family member having a difficult life in any way. Nobody wants their kids to have a difficult life. Life is always going to be difficult, though, in lots of different ways. You can't bubble-wrap your kids and keep them in your pocket forever, unfortunately. And it's becoming less difficult for gay people as time goes on. If you want to be a good enough parent to help them through it, all you have to do is remind them that you love them no matter what, you'll support and fight for them no matter what and that being gay is as "wrong" as being straight.

You are right of course, but the question was would I have any difficulty with them being gay. I expressed what the only issue I would have with them being gay is. Life will throw lots of shiza at them anyway. But no one asked about that.
I very well remember when it wasn't ok to be gay and I know some for whom being gay led them a very sad life. Its from that experience I've come to my answer.

JonEBGud

scary wrote: »

WTF

RobAMerc wrote: »

Eh, yes it is, its just not not in the majority.


I'm not sure liking it to a disease makes this get any better.


At least you got this mostly right, try "All of us lucky people should be grateful for something."

Sorry I didn't mean a disease.
It's a birth defect, I think.

Filmer Paradise

RobAMerc wrote: »

You are right of course, but the question was would I have any difficulty with them being gay. I expressed what the only issue I would have with them being gay is. Life will throw lots of shiza at them anyway. But no one asked about that.
I very well remember when it wasn't ok to be gay and I know some for whom being gay led them a very sad life. Its from that experience I've come to my answer.

Rob. You're prob, like me in your '40s.

People like us are struggling to understand the whole concept.

Hard to know if attitudes are changing for the better.

One thing I do know though is that Gay people have no control about how they feel.

I don't understand it, but I spose we have to move with the times.

conorh91

Unfortunately it's a sort of pointless question.

Social media/ online shrieks of outrage have meant that ordinary people harbouring such opinions will tend to keep these opinions to themselves.

I wouldn't have a problem with a family member being gay. The Marriage debate was never about homosexuality being inherently evil, or anything like that.

How Soon Is Now

Sooner the better this yes vote thingy gets passed threw we can all go back to giving out about water again :pac:

This whole gay business seems to be the new flavour of the month everywhere right now!

Couldnt give a ****e whos gay once there not putting me out in anyway they can do whatever and whoever they like!!

emigrate2012

No,not at all.

Being bisexual myself it took me many year's to come to terms with my own sexuality,that said when I told my family and close friends the the reactions ranged from "and" "so what?" (I **** you not,2beautys here...) "were you fiddled with"[ quite offensive] "he don't wanna ride me do ya?!?" {quite funny tbh!}

Also a girl I know(very liberal,friends with plenty of gay guy's)is adamant that I'm "gay" ie there's no such thing as a bi person,your either gay or straight,which I find quite unfathomable.

The only bad reaction I had was with my father(not really bad in all honesty) was " da,I'm bi....." "I always knew ye were" meaning that I'm gay.we don't talk much about my sex life 1.because it's my business not his/vice versa. 2 he doesn't want to hear about it/ vice versa!

I'll be voting yes.these religious groups,Iona, that merrion crowd? Talking about family/ children are trying to confuse the core issue of the referendum and the fact that a lot of them spouting to the media seem to be in the late thirty to early fifties range disturbs me greatly,Ireland ain't that changed.

GET OUT,VOTE FOR WHAT IS RIGHT,VOTE YES!!!!!!

(there also seems to be at least one fcuking troll posting,thank fcuk people aren't rising to the bait)

InitiumNovum

I just want to add, as I think this mistake is being made by a lot of people on this thread and on other threads, and that's that people shouldn't just associate homophobia with religious beliefs. It's a fatal error that doesn't get to the heart of the problem. There's a heck of a lot more to it than religion. For example, if you're gay growing up, the homophobia you encounter is unlikely to have a religious dimension, this is especially the case if you're a gay male.

Your peers, say at school, aren't going to come up to you and start harassing you for rebelling against God. They're going to start mocking you because you're not conforming with the traditional view of masculinity, even if you're gay and have a general masculine disposition. You're basically regarded as weak and therefore an easy target. This sort of bullying also affects straight men, to a lesser extent, if they come across as weak, shy or if they're not as involved in sports and such. It's no wonder that in most cases among a group of young men, the person who flaunts their masculinity the most is often the most popular.

Christianity or religion in general had little to do with the development of this way of thinking, it's a lot deeper. Most cultures traditionally are/were homophobic or saw homosexuals as being deviants. Why is this? Imagine if you were in a tribe and living on the edge of existence, you'd obviously be expected to pull your weight as much as you could. If you were a man, you were expected, for the good of the tribe, to conform with the traditional male role as the one who fought wars, did the hunting, built the shelter, protected the women and children and became a father when you were old enough for the continued survival of the tribe. Women also had their own very specific roles.

Homosexuality in the tribe would have been regarded as a destructive element because it threatened the survival of the tribe. In our modern advanced society, we don't have to worry about such problems because the traditional roles/expectations of a man in a tribe/society are no longer self-contained in that individual in practice (for the most part). Instead, a lot of these roles are dynamically distributed among specialized elements in society. In other words, an individual man is no longer needed to be an all-rounder when it comes to traditional male roles. As such, there's no reason to look down on homosexuality in this day and age. I think it's important to understand how homophobia developed and why we have inherited some vestiges of it in our culture. It didn't just develop out of nowhere for no reason, or from the command of a magical sky god.

Also, I'm gay myself and i don't want people getting the opinion that I'm bitter about masculinity. I'm not, in fact I have a fairly masculine disposition myself. I really dislike when people like to say that masculinity is the cause of a lot of society's problems. However, it's the expectation put on men to conform to a certain socially acceptable level of masculinity that irks me. There's no need for it in this day and age. Being masculine is not the problem, it's the expectation put on men to exhibit a certain standard of masculinity. This affects gay, straight and bisexual men alike.

I think that a lot of parents would be disappointed if they found out their son or daughter was gay, even though many wouldn't admit it in public. This, as I mentioned, is because they want their son or daughter to conform with the traditional masculine or feminine standard. It's easier for religious people to voice their homophobia because their faith often provides them with a cogent excuse (in their eyes) to be against homosexuality. These are the people you see most at the forefront in the media as they're often the most confident in their opinions against homosexuality. But non-religious or lapsed-religious people do not often speak a lot about their homophobia because they can't rationalise it with the faith they don't have. They either throw an insult or, depending on the person, get violent. The thing is, it's the homophobia from this group of people that constitutes the majority of homophobia gay people experience on a daily basis.

G_R

JonEBGud wrote: »

Sorry I didn't mean a disease.
It's a birth defect, I think.

JonEBGud wrote: »

Homosexuality is not normal, neither is Autism or Downes Syndrome nor Crohns Disease but people are born with these conditions and they have no say in their creation.
All of us lucky people should be grateful. IMO.

Mod Note

Being gay is neither a disease nor is it a birth defect. Please don't refer to it as such again - it's offensive.

BetterThanThou

As a homosexual, I obviously would have no issue with a family member being gay. Living in Dublin and being in my late teens, I think I'm very lucky as far as the era I grew up in is concerned. I only know a very small amount of people who are in any way homophobic, and I think that will always exist, just as sectarianism and racism will always exist. The only thing that worries me about the referendum is the possibility of a high percentage of no-shows. I personally believe that in Ireland, the majority of people agree with homosexuality, but, unfortunately, the people that turn up to vote tend to be the older generation, and among the older generation, I'm not saying everyone disagrees with homosexuality, but I would not be surprised if the majority of the older generation disagree with it. I believe the referendum will pass, but unfortunately, I don't think it's a foregone conclusion. All I can say is, everyone should make sure they vote and do not assume it's a foregone conclusion, because one person doing that won't make any significant difference, but many people will.

Dangerous Man

Grand_Rajnah wrote: »

Mod Note

Being gay is neither a disease nor is it a birth defect. Please don't refer to it as such again - it's offensive.

The science on this disagrees with you. Homosexuality is the result of malfunctions in epigenetic regulation.

It IS a birth defect.

http://www.nimbios.org/press/FS_homosexuality

Dangerous Man

In answer to the OP - I honestly couldn't care less; I'd love them regardless.

Aard

RobAMerc wrote: »

You are right of course, but the question was would I have any difficulty with them being gay. I expressed what the only issue I would have with them being gay is. Life will throw lots of shiza at them anyway. But no one asked about that.
I very well remember when it wasn't ok to be gay and I know some for whom being gay led them a very sad life. Its from that experience I've come to my answer.

You're right - a lot of older people (maybe 45+ to pick a completely unscientific number) would have had a difficult time of it. Either coming out and putting up with ridicule and ostracism. Or getting married and having kids so that they wouldn't bring shame to the family.

These days young people in Ireland don't suffer any way near as much. In Dublin at least, being gay is a complete non-issue for young people. Times have changed very fast.

Aard

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

Rob. You're prob, like me in your '40s.

People like us are struggling to understand the whole concept.

Honestly not trying to be smart, but what do you mean by "struggling to understand the concept"?

efb

Dangerous Man wrote: »

The science on this disagrees with you. Homosexuality is the result of malfunctions in epigenetic regulation.

It IS a birth defect.

http://www.nimbios.org/press/FS_homosexuality

Is not having blonde hair and bye eyes a defect? It's just difference

Dangerous Man

efb wrote: »

Is not having blonde hair and bye eyes a defect? It's just difference

efb wrote: »

Is not having blonde hair and bye eyes a defect? It's just difference

You are right that blonde hair and blue eyes are different to say, brown hair and green eyes and the result of biological processes. But those differences are the result of correctly functioning genetic inheritance.

Homosexuality is a malfunction in the expression of genes whose purpose are to protect fathers and mothers in the womb from overexposure to opposite sex hormones. Those fathers and mothers end up over-protected, while their sons and daughters are under-protected - hence homosexuality. It's not a case of inheriting genes, it's case of how they're expressed.

There's nothing really "wrong" with gay people - but homosexuality is the result of a genetic defect. I say just embrace it and get on with things. I honestly couldn't give a ****. I don't see gay people as lesser because of it and honestly, this is not something which should be used as a political football. If anything, it settles the ridiculous argument from those who say being gay is a choice.


From the report:

"Different epi-marks protect different sex-specific traits from being masculinized or feminized - some affect the genitals, others sexual identity, and yet others affect sexual partner preference. However, when these epi-marks are transmitted across generations from fathers to daughters or mothers to sons, they may cause reversed effects, such as the feminization of some traits in sons, such as sexual preference, and similarly a partial masculinization of daughters.

The study solves the evolutionary riddle of homosexuality, finding that "sexually antagonistic" epi-marks, which normally protect parents from natural variation in sex hormone levels during fetal development, sometimes carryover across generations and cause homosexuality in opposite-sex offspring. The mathematical modeling demonstrates that genes coding for these epi-marks can easily spread in the population because they always increase the fitness of the parent but only rarely escape erasure and reduce fitness in offspring."

Nudderwords - homosexuality is both a defect and escapes the effects of natural selection because of the benefits homosexuality confers on the parents of homosexuals. Funny that.