47 YR OLD MALE TOO OLD FOR 27 YR OLD GIRL

amethyst1967

hi all,ive just only joined up here,mostly to see what you all will say,being strangers to me im fairly sure some of you wont hold back with the replies,which is what i realy need right now..thing is,im a single male,never married,no children,no ties other than a house and my business,im 47 till the end of november...the reason im here looking for advise is because there is no one realy i can confide in to ask this question,there is this girl that i work with,not work for me,she is from latvia or lituania,not sure,but she is only 27 or 28,in a relationship that is falling apart,she have a child,dunno what age,she still lives with her b-friend but she is looking for a house to move out,thats 100% right info,the thing is,i am totaly crazy about her,she is an absalute stunner,blonde,and the rest of the people that work with us get on with her very well as well,we all work very well together,ive spent a lot of time researching the stats on couples with a 20 yr age gap success rate,not good at all,now she dont know how i feel twords her but she have to have caught me looking at her and must be wondering.i just cant keep my eyes off her,she is the dream girl that ive had all my life,model looks like ive never seen before.ive been on dateing sites for ages and ive never even got a date out of it,but dont get me wrong,im not useing this girl as handy excuse just to get a girl because of not been successful in the dateing world,thats the last thing in my mind,my thoughts are of total genuine ideas,id like you people to let me know what you think,im hopeing you all will say,just go for it,age is only a number and all the rest of that kinda stuff,,but i know thats not goin to happen....my mind is realy messed up with this and it is realy getting to me,big time,the thing is how do i get her out of my head..

tomwaterford

Well....if she's still with her boyfriend....then you've no choice but to get her outta your head/forget her

amethyst1967

i should have put in there that she is looking for a house of her own to split up from her fella,they have grown apart,thats from her mouth.

tomwaterford

amethyst1967 wrote: »

i should have put in there that she is looking for a house of her own to split up from her fella,they have grown apart,thats from her mouth.

Would you not wait until it's finished and dust settled??
As from what I can tell she's still not offially split up???


As for other than that...I'd say go for it....but tread carefully as there's a child involved

amethyst1967

ya thats what will probably happen,thats if i dont drive myself totaly mad before hand,why it had to happen this late in my life i dont know,there is a lot of guilt in my mind because of my age,it realy depresses me if im totaly honest.realy eating me up.

m'lady

Personally I think you need to get to know her better,as it stands you aren't sure of her age, her child's age or even what country she's from? I don't understand why your stressing when you don't obviously know her that well..

amethyst1967

to be bluntly honest M`lady im not realy worried which country she is from or her childs age,the little bit i know of her past before she come here was that she had a hard up bringing and is striveing to make it work here,that is why im being very cautious,i dont realy want to do or say anything to upset her,deff as she is going tru some kind of breakup,i dont want to be any part of that,i kinda know her fella and i kinda heard he might be a bit of a bully,but not sure of that, and dont get me wrong,im not thinking of moveing in and becomeing some kinda hero just to be the winner here,thats the last thing on my mind,i just think she is possibly the prettiest girl ive ever seen,but a bit young on normal standards,and you know the way the public seems to think its there duty to air there oppinions,and im sure she dont need that because im sure she dont have a massive friend list here to look for comfort,i feel its all wrong to be thinking this way about her but,i didnt decide this,it just happened the second i lay eyes on her a few months ago,she is just unbelieveabley beautiful..at the end of the day im fairly sure i will have to wash her out of my head,how ever thatll be done i have no idea,because i work alongside her,and please dont suggest i move on a work some whare else,that isnt realy a solution.

LegacyUser

You're not sure which country she's from, not sure which age she is, don't really know about her child - and worst of all, you don't care about any of this.

Come on OP, you're in lust. You don't know this girl, you don't know her personality. You don't seem to care that she might be in the throes of a bad breakup.

At best (for her), you might be rebound guy. At worst (for her) you're just lusting after her, with zero regard for who she is, or what her life is like. Other than her looks, of course.

Age gap is the least of her worries. It does however appear to be a big worry for you, in terms of what people will think. Tbh, I find your attitude towards her pretty damn poor.

LadyAthame

You sound unhealthily obsessed I think you should back away.

Stench Blossoms

Maybe I've missed this but

Is she interested in you? You're asking is it an acceptable age gap but she might not even want a relationship with you.

bee06

Op, all you seem to care about is how beautiful she is. If you work with her then you are in the fortunate position of having the time to get to know her and give her time to get over her break up. This is what you need to do if you have genuine feelings for her.

Unfortunately it sounds like you don't care about getting to know her and the only thing that matters is how hot she is. If this is the case leave her alone.

jopax

I agree with the other posts here. I don't think the age gap is such a big issue.

What would worry me is that she seems to be in a very vulnerable position at the moment.

What she needs is a friend not some guy that just wants to get her into bed.

If its true that her boyfriend is a bully she has enough problems with that & caring for her child.

If you want to be a friend and see if anything naturally develops in the future that's fair enough, but please don't zone in on her because she is a difficult position.

kylith

amethyst1967 wrote: »

to be bluntly honest M`lady im not realy worried which country she is from or her childs age,

This is M'Lady's point; you don't know anything about her life and you don't care. You just care about her looks.

Everyone gets office crushes. Use it as a reason to do well in work and be well groomed, but I don't think you seriously want a relationship with this woman.

Shrap

amethyst1967 wrote: »

i just cant keep my eyes off her,she is the dream girl that ive had all my life,model looks like ive never seen before.

OP, has your dream girl always been a woman that you a) don't know at all and have no friendship with, b) is currently in a crappy relationship from which there is sure to be some emotional fall-out and c) is 20yrs younger than you, which wouldn't matter if you were BOTH emotionally invested in each other, but you're not?

No? Well then, she's not for you regardless of how much you like to look at her.

....my mind is realy messed up with this and it is realy getting to me,big time,the thing is how do i get her out of my head..

I would start by realising that you are indulging in a wonderful fantasy in which you save the beautiful model from the nasty man, sweep her off her feet with your 47 yr old worldly-wise ways and despite all the odds, get her to go to bed with you. You seem to be forgetting that this woman is a PERSON, not a character in a dodgy B-movie.

Make an attempt to separate your dream-world from your reality OP. Seriously - why do you think a woman who doesn't know you at all could just fall into your lap? Is this wishful thinking somewhat indicative of how you go about contacting women on dating sites, ie. for their looks, not their personalities?

mapaca

I have to agree with others here OP, you don't seem to know this girl very well and have put her on a pedestal because of her good looks. You are getting a bit ahead of yourself, worrying about the age gap between you. Firstly, she is currently in a relationship, so is off limits anyway. If (and it's a big if) she breaks up with her boyfriend, she won't just automatically jump into a relationship with you.

All you can do at the moment is get to know her a little better, as a friend. But only as a friend. Put your romantic feelings aside. Especially if she's going through a tough time at the moment.

Keep busy in your own life too, hobbies, interests, friends. Don't pin all your hopes on this girl and don't give up on meeting someone else.

Hannibal Smith

I don't think the age is the big problem. Its like you've decided when she splits up with her boyfriend, she will start a relationship with you.

Do you get on well? What makes you think she would like to start a relationship with you?

For your own sake, find ways of distracting yourself when you think of her and eventually it will fade.

IlmoNT4

OP has the lady told you that shes interested in a relationship with you...?

I dont think a big age gap matters but what does matter is the large amounts of red flags

-your obsessed with her, idealized her
-You have not spoken about her as a person, just the way she looks. No real relationship will go the distance just because you really really really like how someone looks.
-She has a child, and shes going to protect her child. Jumping from one bad relationship into a new relationship with a man from work is not going to be good for the child.
-You talk about a house, Are you expecting her to move in with you? Or are you planning on renting her a room?

You sound a bit lonely OP and maybe this is why you are having such a strong reaction to this lady. Whats the rest of your life like... Have you reactivated to other women like this?

Rubberchikken

Op you sound like a good person who's caught up in a little crush at the moment.
put aside all thoughts of age difference, houses etc and just be kind to this woman, she sounds like she needs a friend at the moment.

by chatting to her you'll learn what country she's from, her interests etc and maybe in time, get to know her as a person.

Tokyo

There are a couple of issues here that I see, which are completely unrelated to the age gap (in fact, the age gap should be further down the list)

1. So far, you haven't mentioned any signs that she remotely reciprocates your feelings. You say that you work with her, that you think she's perfect, but there doesn't seem to be anything coming back in the opposite direction, and that's not a good sign, regardless of the ages of the two people involved.
   
2. Her life seems to be in absolute turmoil at the moment - she has a child and a failing relationship, and is still undertaking the steps required to set herself up in life as a single mother with a young child. My bet is that absolutely the last thing on her mind right now is forming a relationship with anybody else. Her life is upside down. Things need to stabilise both for herself and her child before she contemplates taking anybody else into her life.

I hate being cruel to be kind, but sometimes its necessary, and it does sound like you are besotted with this girl, where she hasn't given any indication of returning it, either now or in the future. And that's got nothing to do with your ages. Whether she feels something for you down the line who knows, but right now I'd recommend to anybody in your position to take a step back and reassess the situation. It sounds like she's in need of a friend at the moment more than anything else, so get to know her in that capacity first.

Gwynplaine

My eyes hurt after reading that. Very difficult to read.
You're lusting after someone who has no interest in you, who is going through a tough time in her relationship.
Forget and move on.

amethyst1967

ive read all your posts and have to say,thank you very much,the replys are exactly what i wanted to hear,to see was i right that my thoughts were in the right place.
because after reading each 1 of them i questioned myself about each reply you all made..
because i didnt write every minute detail a few of you got the wrong impression of what im about,sorry about that,

to try explain some of my replys so you dont think i am some kinda monster waiting to jump on her when she is at her lowest,im not concerned whare she comes from because it makes no diff to me whare she comes from,why would it.
her child,why would it concern me about him\her, if some thing did ever happen,well it wouldnt be a problem,i would accept it as my own,no big issues either.....and as regards to her only being a mission of mine to get into bed ?.. whare did you get this from..and the "putting her on a pedestal" ?..do we all not hold a person on a high point when we have deep feelings for ?.is that not what its all about ,putting them above everyone else,
if ye dont then how can we cherish them more than the ones we dont have feelings for...

im obviously not explaining my self very well here,but im trying my best,i work along side this girl,i have a serious crush on her,she is in a crumbling relationship,i would love to form a relationship with her,properly,get chatting to her,if that goes ok and i get a possitive reply well then ill go to the next step and ask her out,
THATS PROVIDING HER RELATIONSHIP IS TOTALLY DISSOLVED FIRSTLY,
and i wont be any influence on it dissolving,it just happened that this girl was in this situation,before i knew anything about her,she dont know anything about the way i feel about her,and she wont until i know she have moved on from the fella she is with,im not going to be part of that i cant be,things like that always rebound to have a bad effect.

.i will admit 1 thing though,and i wont apologise to anyone for it,she is a girl of my dreams,if everything falls the right way i would love to form a relationship with her,but i know,near 100%, that i wont make a move,even if she approaches me because i am one of the small few that have a very low confidence level and probably wouldnt have the balls to approach her anyway,
ive only been in 2 relationships in my life and both of them i was the fool to think that the 2 women realy loved me,but that turned out to be all false,i still know them and get on well with them,i know some of you will analize that and come out with some weird twisted solution as to why im laying in hideing waiting on my prey,that seems to be the jist of the replies ive got,
as well as the insults of being branded "op" which i presume means old person,47 isnt old,you will be here one day.

im actually very dissapointed in the feed back ive got,the one question i wanted to know about was the age gap thing,which non of you realy mentioned but you chose to rip me apart for being a weirdo wanting to jump into bet with this girl and not concidering her mind frame or her child,totaly wrong on your behalf.

i am a descent respectful fella that is of a very considerate nature and the last thing i would do would be take advantage of a vulnarable 20 yrs younger than me,how dare you judge me,it would be of intrest but no intrest to me if you are of descent intentions as you say i am not..
as i said i only joined here last night to get an idea what the public thought of relationships with big age gaps,but you missed the question and focused on all the possible evil points that could be,it makes me wonder which of us is the most sinceer minded persons,thanks for your time people,im sorry for wasteing your time....you can all move on to the next victim to shred.....

jopax

Wow, why are you so angry

amethyst1967

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Op you sound like a good person who's caught up in a little crush at the moment.
put aside all thoughts of age difference, houses etc and just be kind to this woman, she sounds like she needs a friend at the moment.

by chatting to her you'll learn what country she's from, her interests etc and maybe in time, get to know her as a person.

this is the first real reply iv got and i realy appreciate it,im not a monster just an ordinary fella with a crush on a beautiful girl and was looking for an oppinion on the age gap,,,thank you.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, (Original Poster) many people mentioned the age gap not being an issue. People mentioned it being an issue in the context of her maybe not being interested in you. Which so far she has not given you any indication.

If you post in a public forum you will get all sorts of replies. Not all of the relevant to you. You take what is relevant and leave the rest.

bee06

OP means original poster not old person. Most people didn't even mention your age as a issue at all.

beyondbelief67

I wish you the best of luck to you both in whatever way it works out, wether that is as a couple or going your separate ways.
And no its not that big and age gap, but consider this ? When she is the age you are now and in her prime as it were. You will be 67 ? But if you really have thought it all through good luck.

ElleEm

OP stands for Original Poster, it is used when people are responding directly to the person who started the thread.

The reason people did not focus on your age difference is because that seems like less of an issue than the rest of your post. You have to understand that posters here are only giving advice based on what you wrote, which was-

*you fancy a girl you work with
*she is pretty and your "dream girl"
*you don't know much about her
*she has a child and a boyfriend
*you are older than her and want to know if that is an issue.

The bigger issues seem to be you don't know her much, she is in a relationship, you never mentioned if you think she might be interested in you, you keep going on about her looks and have written nothing about her personality. Can you see how this has informed people's responses?

amethyst1967

jopax wrote: »

Wow, why are you so angry

im not realy angry just a little cheesed off that everyone thats replying have the oppinion that im waiting to move in on this girl right when she is at a low point in her life,,im not,,she dont even know i have a crush on her,its laughable realy why everyone is comeing from that point of view,,im only asking ,is 20 yrs too big of a age gap for a relationship tp work,,thats all,im being shredded here and done nothing wrong,not angry just very frustrated that everyone is judgeing me on all the things i didnt ask about,can you see it ?

amethyst1967

amethyst1967 wrote: »

im not realy angry just a little cheesed off that everyone thats replying have the oppinion that im waiting to move in on this girl right when she is at a low point in her life,,im not,,she dont even know i have a crush on her,its laughable realy why everyone is comeing from that point of view,,im only asking ,is 20 yrs too big of a age gap for a relationship tp work,,thats all,im being shredded here and done nothing wrong,not angry just very frustrated that everyone is judgeing me on all the things i didnt ask about,can you see it ?

The fact you didn't ask about them makes it look like you assume you'll be in a relationship with her at all in the first place "to work out".
It doesn't matter about the age gap if she's NOT INTERESTED in the first place.
you don't know if she is.
You're obsessing over this one detail. The important questions are: do you get along personality wise, would she be interested in you in the first place.

People break up all the time for all sorts of reasons. If you got together one day and got along well, I wouldn't dwell on the age. If she isn't interested because of your age, you'll know before you even start anything.

In any case I think you should stop putting her on a pedestal, chill out a bit go on a few dates.

athtrasna

If in doubt, there's the cougar rule, half your age plus 7. Which would mean yes, she's too young for you. But life and love don't follow rules. Having said that, if I was her mother I would not be happy that she was seeing someone 20 years older than her.

blatantrereg

She has model-like good looks and you're unsuccessful in dating according to you, but it does come across that you assume she'll dive at the chance of you becoming her sugardaddy. Your attitude is misogynistic and weird and fixating on a younger attached work colleague is plain creepy. Forget about it and look at doing something to improve your social life and/or meet available women.

Alonso77

Surely the most important thing to ask would be - Is she or has she shown any interest or inclination in having a relationship with you?

Tokyo

amethyst1967 wrote: »

im only asking ,is 20 yrs too big of a age gap for a relationship tp work,,thats all

No, 20 years is not too big of an age gap for things to work, though there are of course considerations to be taken into account that don't exist for couples of a closer age.

What are issues in the possibility of a relationship working are:

1. Whether she has any interest in having a relationship with you too? Nothing you've said so far indicates that she has.
2. Whether her life is currently too complicated and in turmoil to consider a relationship with anybody. From what you describe, it very much is.

...and this is what posters have been trying to point out to you. The fact that don't seem willing to accept that posters may have a point in taking the above into consideration is more concerning than any age gap in my opinion. That's not tearing anybody to shreds by the way - that's just offering you a different perspective, which you may choose to take into consideration, or choose to ignore.

Big Bag of Chips

Age gap is just one aspect of this (potential) relationship. For posters to only respond regarding the age gap would be to do you a disservice and possibly give you false hope. Also the fact that you say you would take on the child as your own is a bit premature/immature.

You don't know the child. You don't even know how old they are. Your personalities might completely clash. The child's dad might not be too impressed with you swinging in and taking over his role. My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship. I never took her on "as my own". I didn't need to. She has a mother. She doesn't need 2.

I think you have a fairytale happy ending in your head, and people are just pointing out the very many hurdles you would have to overcome to even get to the start of your story, never mind the ending.

amethyst1967

ElleEm wrote: »

OP stands for Original Poster, it is used when people are responding directly to the person who started the thread.

The reason people did not focus on your age difference is because that seems like less of an issue than the rest of your post. You have to understand that posters here are only giving advice based on what you wrote, which was-

*you fancy a girl you work with
*she is pretty and your "dream girl"
*you don't know much about her
*she has a child and a boyfriend
*you are older than her and want to know if that is an issue.

The bigger issues seem to be you don't know her much, she is in a relationship, you never mentioned if you think she might be interested in you, you keep going on about her looks and have written nothing about her personality. Can you see how this has informed people's responses?

well thank you very much on the op thing,i realy didnt know that,new here..as i think i said im probably to blame for the wrong replies by not putting in as much detail as was required,i didnt realise this was going to blossom like it has,i thought a simple question,a simple answer,my mistake..for that i apologise....ye see we work in a factory and we dont realy cross paths,im on a delivery truck when im in there,she works on the floor,thats why she knows nothing about me and i know nothing about her other than her looks,and what ive put on here,see theres possibly never anything going to come of this because what ever replies i get about the age thing,i will feel guilty about being nearly twice her age,do ye se my point now ?...is 20 yrs too much of a gap ?..away from all the rest of the points that have to be sorted ?

amethyst1967

jopax wrote: »

Wow, why are you so angry

im being misunderstood.

amethyst1967

beyondbelief67 wrote: »

I wish you the best of luck to you both in whatever way it works out, wether that is as a couple or going your separate ways.
And no its not that big and age gap, but consider this ? When she is the age you are now and in her prime as it were. You will be 67 ? But if you really have thought it all through good luck.

thank you very much.much appreciated oppinion.

Big Bag of Chips

No, 20 years wouldn't be an issue for some. But it may be an issue for her. It's irrelevant whether I think it is too big a gap, and another poster says it's not. What matters is what this girl thinks. And you have no idea. And until you speak to her, on an ongoing basis, you won't know.

She may think it's too big a gap. She may not. But if you don't speak to her, and you don't have any sort of friendship built up with her, then it doesn't matter what age you both are... It's never going to happen, anyway.

amethyst1967

athtrasna wrote: »

If in doubt, there's the cougar rule, half your age plus 7. Which would mean yes, she's too young for you. But life and love don't follow rules. Having said that, if I was her mother I would not be happy that she was seeing someone 20 years older than her.

very valid point,i probably would be the same,thank you.

jopax

amethyst1967 wrote: »

im not realy angry just a little cheesed off that everyone thats replying have the oppinion that im waiting to move in on this girl right when she is at a low point in her life,,im not,,she dont even know i have a crush on her,its laughable realy why everyone is comeing from that point of view,,im only asking ,is 20 yrs too big of a age gap for a relationship tp work,,thats all,im being shredded here and done nothing wrong,not angry just very frustrated that everyone is judgeing me on all the things i didnt ask about,can you see it ?

I can understand that you wanted an answer to a certain question which is fair enough, and most people thought that it wasn't such a big deal.

Nobody here knows what your like personally so why take to heart everything people are saying.

People are judging you on what your posting, not because they want to tear you apart but just to voice their thoughts.

It doesn't make it right or wrong, its only opinions, you could well be the nicest person on the planet.

As a teacher once said to me, "you paint your own picture".

amethyst1967

blatantrereg wrote: »

She has model-like good looks and you're unsuccessful in dating according to you, but it does come across that you assume she'll dive at the chance of you becoming her sugardaddy. Your attitude is misogynistic and weird and fixating on a younger attached work colleague is plain creepy. Forget about it and look at doing something to improve your social life and/or meet available women.

i cant even think what i can reply to this,total think you didnt read anything i have wrote in my posts.

amethyst1967

i feel i just have to put this point across before i leave here,i have read all your opinions,takein em on board,but to try to explain the situation,i havnt suggested anything to this girl,at all,she only works in the same place i work,in fact i would find it hard to get her away to one side to make conversation with her,because im on a delivery truck and only get to only see her for very short intervals,on odd days,,yes i do think she is possibly the most gorgeous girl i have ever seen in my life,and it would be a dream come tru to be able to build up a relationship with her if every thing went the right way,but thats so far down the line most people wouldnt even be thinking that far ahead,but thats the way my mind works,i know very little about her,or her fella,or her child,or if she would even consider me being a possible partner.all i know at this stage is what i can see,the girl her self,and she is absalutly gorgeous,isnt that whare we all start off in the possibility of a relationship,you have to have chemistry,be attractive to each other,and thats before you can move on to finding out if she can even stand the way you look,as far as i understood thats the order it goes in anyway..now maybe she cant stand the way i look,its very possible,and maybe if we went on a date some time i would be just waiting for a chance to bolt,thats possible,but if we like what we see,and realy want to find out what will happen well only then can we go forth and find out what he/she is like,theres no other way to do it,in steps,but what im concerned about is she is 20 yrs younger than me,i dont have a problem with it,maybe she would run a mile if i suggested anything to her,and no,its not to be a superman to come and sweep her off her feet and offer her all the riches of the world and a shed load of promises to try win her hearth,thats totaly not whats in my head,im not that well off,im only an ordinary fella on an ordinary wage the same as her possibly,i dont know.its as simple as this people,,,,she is a young gorgeous girl in a crumbleing relationship and as far as i know is looking for a house to break away from the fella she lives with,whats so abnormal about that,nothing else in the plan i can guarantee you,no sinister plans,but to put my mind at rest,because i am a very deep thinking person,dont want to offend anyone and always was this way,i was just curious to find out what you all thought of relationships with big age gaps,nothing else as she dont even know i have any intrest in her,other than the fact that she might have seen me admireing her from a distance,i dont make it obvious to her,but some time she is going to wonder do,and am i to be condemmned for admireing her,isnt that whare we all start from...sorry about the rant but its very frustrating to be judged wrong,regardless of who the question is being presented to.ill check in later on to see what you all have to say,i appreciate all your replys,how ever off the track they go,bye.

K_P

OP, you're obviously frustrated as you feel you're being taken up wrong. But what you've outlined in your first post is quite different from your latest ones in which you've clarified the situation further. I initially thought you knew this girl well, had no interest in her background or child and were going to suggest she move in with you to solve the problem of her looking for somewhere to live. I realise now that that's not the case and the situation seems much more reasonable. People aren't ripping you to shreds, rather giving practical advice based on what you've presented.

I think you're getting ahead of yourself in worrying about the age gap. That's irrelevant at this stage. I'd suggest trying to talk to this girl and getting to know her a bit better. If you do and you get on and you still fancy her and the feeling is mutual then go for it. Her recent break up, her having a child from another relationship and possibly cultural differences are all just as likely to cause problems as your age gap. But don't worry about that for now, just try to get to know her better.

Stench Blossoms

They aren't off track.

You don't know this girl is even interested in you. Why are you worrying about the age difference when you don't even know if she likes you anymore than as a friend?

Duckjob

She has model-like good looks and you're unsuccessful in dating according to you, but it does come across that you assume she'll dive at the chance of you becoming her sugardaddy. Your attitude is misogynistic and weird and fixating on a younger attached work colleague is plain creepy. Forget about it and look at doing something to improve your social life and/or meet available women.

amethyst1967 wrote: »

i cant even think what i can reply to this,total think you didnt read anything i have wrote in my posts.

It sounds harsh, but unfortunately there's the poster has a valid point there. A lot of posters are trying to give you their opinion but you really seem closed off to it. They're not doing to be nasty to you - it's just the honest impressions and opinions people get of what you've written.

A lot of people find it very "odd" that you're describing her as your dream girl when you don't know her at all. I mean, you haven't even talked to her in a one-on-one situation and have no idea whether your personalities could be remotely compatible.

A lot of people also find it very "odd" that you're fixating on the age question as if that is the main block when by what you have posted already (and apologies in advance if I have missed anything):
1) You've barely spoken to her (at least on a one-to-one situation)
2) You said yourself that you couldn't make a move even if she talked to you (or words to that effect)

Don't you see that the above is a much, much bigger problem to surmount than any potential age problem.

if you want a direct answer as to whether the age gap is too big : the answer is Not necessarily, no. I actually know a couple that have a similar gap - they got together and clicked. Spend any amount of time in their company and you can see why - they are one of those couples that just deeply "get" each other.

In all honesty, I think in general the age gap question is one that doesn't need an answer, because it you get to the point where you have gotten into a relationship with somebody much younger than you if will quickly become obvious if it is a problem.

However, as so many other posters have told you, there really is little point focusing on that question when they are far more pressing questions.

I'm trying to be gentle here OP - you've had a Happy-Ever-After fantasy.
Nothing wrong with that - I think we've all experienced them to some extent at some point. Problem is, you've over-indulged yours and it's really grown legs. Best thing you can do is nip it in the bud and start asking yourself questions that are appropriate to your circumstances right now.

Idle Passerby

Since you appear to be looking for personal opinions on the age gap issue, I'll put myself in the girls shoes and give you mine. As others have said, a new relationship is likely to be the very last thing on her mind. Her relationship may be rocky and she may be considering moving out to her own house with her child. At the moment you don't know if that's actually going to happen.

Lets say they do break up and she's living as a single mother. The child's father will likely still be a big part of her life, he may be a bully to her but he may also be a good and loving father who wants to see his child regularly. There may be ongoing legal battles over custody and child support.

When she decides she's ready to start dating again, her child will still come first over any new man in her life. You cant have a relationship with a mother without also having a good relationship with her children.

On that point, I think if you were going to impress this woman you would have to show more of an interest in her child, is "it" a girl or boy, infant or 10 year old? If you want a relationship with this woman the child will be a huge part of it.

So finally the age gap, personally I wouldn't be interested in getting involved where there was such a big age gap, but to others it wouldn't even be an issue. It depends what both parties are looking for in life and whether age interferes with those goals.

You wont know her opinion until you get to know her. As it stands she is just a pretty girl that has caught your eye. The only think you should be worried about at the moment is finding a way to get chatting to her to see if you actually get on. You might find she has a personality you cant stand.

Spastic Cinnamon

Go for it op! Nothing to lose and lots of girls like older men.

m'lady

For the record I didn't comment on the age difference because I personally thought it came secondary to the fact that you know nothing about the girl, only she can tell you if she feels it's a problem, not people on this.

retro:electro

Op in the nicest way possible I think you need to get a grip. You don't even know the girl and you're here asking is 20+ years too much of an age gap for a relationship. You seem to have lost touch with reality. You don't even know her from adam yet you seem to be willing to offer her a place to stay while her relationship is crumbling. Where did you hear that she needs a new place? She may be looking for someplace new since she's in the middle of a break up but I doubt in her mind that place is with a middle aged stranger-sorry to be harsh. You seem to be infatuated with her appearance and not much else.

Boskowski

I think people are reading way too much into posts. I'm under the impression the op has a crush on a younger woman and before he even considers a move he wanted an opinion on whether the age gap is prohibitive or not.

Then everybody just seems to jump to conclusions from there...

Big Bag of Chips

I think the issue most people have is that he doesn't even know the girl. Surely before embarking on anything romantic the first step is to get to know her a bit. As in talk to her! Yes, the age is an issue. If you were a 30 year old fella you probably wouldn't think twice about asking her out, but the fact is you are 20 years older than her, so a bit of a break from the norm. Therefore rather than going straight to asking her out for a drink you need to get to know her firstly, so suss out whether or not she would find it creepy to be asked out by you.

If you were 30 most replies would be "go for it", "why not", etc. But this is a bit different, so the replies have to be a bit different. As in, talk to her first. Get to know her. Are you only interested in her romantically, or would you like to become friends with her? I think if you are to stand any chance of her taking notice of you, you need to get to know her first. I think she would probably need to be comfortable in your company first before she would start considering you as a potential partner.

Start off with actually getting to know her, and getting an idea of whether or not she even likes your company. Then worry about the age gap!