Killer Spiders and Fatal Erections - Beware those Tesco Bananas

Dr Strange

Independent.ie wrote:

...
The bananas were shipped to Ireland from Costa Rica, which is home to the toxic insect that can give a man a painful four-hour erection before imminent death.
...

:pac:

Link: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/tesco-dispels-fears-over-killer-spiders-in-bananas-31114506.html

Ruu

"..rigorous testing system in place for all fruit" ho hooooooo. oh la la.

porsche boy

Well at least you'll die with a smile on yur face

NomadicGray

I blame the homosexuals

Cool_CM

Preusse wrote: »

:pac:

Link: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/tesco-dispels-fears-over-killer-spiders-in-bananas-31114506.html

You better use it wisely, because it's the last one you're ever going to have!

Dr Strange

Cool_CM wrote: »

You better use it wiseley, because it's the last one you're ever going to have!

The thing is you probably get bitten when you least expect/need it.

4 hours from now..what to do...what to do?

kneemos

If I was on Death Row I'd opt for this.

Cool_CM

Preusse wrote: »

The thing is you probably get bitten when you least expect/need it.

4 hours from now..what to do...what to do?

And the only thing that you have near you is the offending banana.

Dr Strange

kneemos wrote: »

If I was on Death Row I'd opt for this.

More to the delight of the other inmates, I guess.

Dr Strange

Cool_CM wrote: »

And the only thing that you have near you is the offending banana.

That banana will have to go through 4 hours of unspeakable things.

whattodo1

After a pretty crap week first Time I've laughed so hard( pardon the pun)

See all the lads queuing outside Tesco just for the erection at least they'll go happy lol

antodeco

So a spider gives you a four hour erection?

Technically is that counted as beastiality?

Cool_CM

Preusse wrote: »

That banana will have to go through 4 hours of unspeakable things.

Good thing bananas can't talk

NomadicGray

Preusse wrote: »

That banana will have to go through 4 hours of unspeakable things.

Well, the skin will

crockholm

Why were spiders referred to as insects? Sloppy ignorant journalism.

Cool_CM

crockholm wrote: »

Why were spiders referred to as insects? Sloppy ignorant journalism.

It's the Independent.

fleet_admiral

Few minutes in at the oven at 250, be grand. Make sure to use a pyrex dish

JacquesDeLad

I wonder what happens if you only get half-bitten by one of those spiders.

One eyed Jack

fleet_admiral wrote: »

Few minutes in at the oven at 250, be grand. Make sure to use a pyrex dish

I think I'd sooner take my chances with an agonising four hour erection and death, than lean into hot oven with my lad in a glass dish :pac:

Dr Strange

JacquesDeLad wrote: »

I wonder what happens if you only get half-bitten by one of those spiders.

Simples, you only get half an erection and die within 2 hours. Kinda sucks.

henryporter

Preusse wrote: »

Simples, you only get half an erection and die within 2 hours. Kinda sucks.

Might not be hard enough to suck though

Wacker The Attacker

Has anybody stuck one of these bananas up their ass yet?

whattodo1

Cant stop laughing new to here Ah is full of nutters pmsl

Wacker The Attacker

JacquesDeLad wrote: »

I wonder what happens if you only get half-bitten by one of those spiders.

You get a four hour semi

galljga1

NomadicGray wrote: »

I blame the homosexuals

Is that you Mick The Bull?

scdublin

*Shivers* Why did I read this when the content was quite clear from the title? Ew.

Aidric

What's going on with the banana supply chain? :pac:

http://radio.cz/en/section/news/cocaine-found-in-lidl-supermarket-in-prague

conorh91

crockholm wrote: »

Why were spiders referred to as insects? Sloppy ignorant journalism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHqgHFcmAOc

catallus

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Has anybody stuck one of these bananas up their ass yet?

Funnily enough, if the banana is over-ripe it could lead to unpleasantness, which makes it the perfect time to actually have a condom handy.