Getting Married when older

JuliusCaesar

Hi Oulwans and Oulfellas, I am pondering about weddings at the moment. So my questions are:

If you were getting married at your present age, would you do the whole white wedding-massive crowd-hotel-dinner-band etc thing costing somewhere in the region of 12K and up (and up)?

Would it make a difference to you if this was your second wedding? or your first? or if you'd been together with your partner for years already?

What would be your ideal wedding, if you were getting married this year? The big bash? A small private wedding and dinner for immediate family and friends only, max 30 guests? Go get married abroad? (Where?)

All totally hypothetical, like.

Foggy Jew

Vegas. With an Elvis impersonator. With 2 random witnesses off the street. No fuss, no hoo-hah.

blackbird 49

Got married at 24 back in 1991, if now yes We would do it different, lot more choice out there now, we would get married in a nice hotel, few guests and then go somewhere fabulous for a honeymoon

magnethead

Getting a quick Civil ceremony here and then off to the Phillipines for a Honeymoon, followed by a small Party when we get back....We have 70K savings at the moment, but don't want to drop 20K on a Wedding as we consider a house more important...(Going to build so need loads of cash up front for direct labour)
2 Kids under 2...

I've taked to guys in work who have dropped 35K on Weddngs......married to real princesses...they said if they could take it back, they'd do it in a second,,,, one big day for everyone else.....a year of manic stress planning it No THanks

OldGoat

Our wedding set us back €500 and that majority of that was on food and drink. A wedding is about the commitment you make to another person rather than how costly the party is. Make the commitment to your new partner if you feel you want to and have the party/celebration if you want to but never do it because just it's expected of you.
I know someone who could solemnise you both at a burlesque show. :cool:

BrensBenz

I'm just sad that, these days, so much thought and effort goes into planning (ever more ridiculous) weddings while so little thought is spent on planning "marriage".

Anyway, our opinions alter with experience so, if the first wedding was memorable, it could serve as a template for the second. But, although there are two people involved in the marriage, there is not a 50-50 split when preferences for a wedding are being distributed. You'll be lucky if it's 90-10!

Of course, at our age, it is likely that "your" female component has her feet on the ground and already has a very clear image of her ideal wedding. Ask HER!

And if she describes a series of themed Hollywood ceremonies we now know as "weddings", including every cliche must-have they've seen on soap operas and TV freak shows, all for the benefit of the "judges" (neighbours, friends and other gawkers), run away, very fast, towards a fast car, head for the airport and climb into the biggest plane you can see.

OldGoat

BrensBenz wrote: »

Of course, at our age, it is likely that "your" female component has her feet on the ground and already has a very clear image of her ideal wedding. Ask HER!

Brens outs Julius as being gay - shocker headline bold print!! exclamation!

looksee

Heh, I'd look a duckie in a white meringue frock! Didn't have a lot of frills (dress or otherwise) 46 years ago, certainly would not have them now. Then I was vaguely religious so got married in a church. Now I would get married somewhere pretty, but not church, wearing a long but not white frock, invite my friends (no fussy aunties left to have an opinion) and have a nice relaxed day with lovely food and chat and a laugh.

JuliusCaesar

OldGoat wrote: »

Our wedding set us back €500 and that majority of that was on food and drink.

But that got you a LOT of food and drink in 1950, didn't it?

OldGoat wrote: »

Brens outs Julius as being gay - shocker headline bold print!!

No comment

Jellybaby1

We had your traditional white wedding in church, about 60 guests. We had already insulted a lot of people by not being able to afford to invite the other 30 who should have been there but I felt the money had to go towards the house rather than feeding more people. If I were going through it again today, it would be a posh outfit but not a 'wedding dress'. There would be no more than 10-12 guests. It might be a private church ceremony or hotel, haven't made up my mind about that. Then we'd go for a slap-up meal, and we'd all be home in time for tea! Can't be bothered with a honeymoon at this stage.

Eeden

Not only would I do it differently this time, if I could time travel I'd do it differently last time, too! I'd have no fuss, no dress (stop whooping down the back there! ), no party (maybe just dinner; then again, maybe not), no flowers, no gifts, no hassle!

Jellybaby1

So far we have all said a 'no stress wedding'. The restraints of the time made the whole thing very stressful back then. We were so nervous on the day we didn't really enjoy it and to be honest I'd just like to forget it.

Layinghen

Get married again:eek::eek::eek:

Agree with everyone else, no fuss, no hassle, just get the papers signed and have a hooley at home with good food, good wine and good friends. Then off on our merry way to some far flung place (any excuse )

It's the marriage that is important not the wedding.

Our wedding was very relaxed, at Christmas many moons ago, nice and small with just the people we wanted there.

Rubecula

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Hi Oulwans and Oulfellas, I am pondering about weddings at the moment. So my questions are:

If you were getting married at your present age, would you do the whole white wedding-massive crowd-hotel-dinner-band etc thing costing somewhere in the region of 12K and up (and up)?

Would it make a difference to you if this was your second wedding? or your first? or if you'd been together with your partner for years already?

What would be your ideal wedding, if you were getting married this year? The big bash? A small private wedding and dinner for immediate family and friends only, max 30 guests? Go get married abroad? (Where?)

All totally hypothetical, like.

Had a long ponder on this one and hopefully I am not giving away any big secrets when I say I have never married.

Yes girls this handsome intelligent and perfect man who is known for telling outrageous lies is single. (I may be available if you have food to bribe me with:D )

So to the questions, I firmly believe that the day is the Bride's choice first and foremost, only then will the groom have a say. I would not mind whichever way the wedding was planned.

I have no idea if it makes a difference on being first or second wedding, I have no terms of reference to give an opinion.

Idea for me would be small intimate and a sunny summer day with perhaps a trip together on a boat or River cruise to celebrate, especially if you have been together a while. I am not sure I would want to start the honeymoon on the same day of the wedding However that is only an opinion from a point of view outside the 'norm'.

looksee

Sounds lovely Rubecula, but the important, vital question is, how do you organise a sunny day in Ireland?

Rubecula

looksee wrote: »

Sounds lovely Rubecula, but the important, vital question is, how do you organise a sunny day in Ireland?

Well I never said my plan was perfect did I? :pac::pac:

Day Lewin

I would try to have the day that me and Himself would enjoy most. With laughter and hugs, and nice wine and food, and some simple dancing but not any loud music. Flowers, yes; and maybe even a ring or two.
Choose the company of all the people we have liked the most over the years. Compose our vows carefully, 'cos we have learnt a bit along the way.
Yes, I would do it and I wouldn't follow fashion, I would do it the way that suits us best.

PS You bet, I would choose a nice frock, though. And a veil for the church and a gorgeous hat for celebrating in.

JuliusCaesar

Ta-da!

looksee

The pale lilac dress that Sofia whatsername is wearing is not the most flattering for her! Some of the dresses are still a bit wedding-y for my taste, something long and pretty rather than evening-ish would be nice! Did you see one that you particularly liked JuliusCaesar? I quite liked the lacy one on the M&S site, I did notice that the ones I liked on the other site tended to be priced in the multiples of thousands...

Jellybaby1

I am not particularly interested in fashion, in fact I find it hard to wear anything that is what you might call pretty, attractive, or even stylish as I am very happy in any old thing. But, I like this one here:

http://www.womanandhome.com/galleries/fashion/35230/1/0/wedding-dresses-for-mature-brides

But definitely not this one here, ugh!:

http://www.mywedding.com/articles/fashion-expert-dresses-mature-bride/

I think 'pure' white for over 60's does not work.

All right fellas, what are you going to wear for the big day? Dying to know what you suggest.

looksee

Agree with you there Jellybaby, tho she has to be well upholstered to get that nude-boob effect! Nice dress though.

JuliusCaesar

Thanks. I was thinking more in this line, something that I can wear again, although I'm not overly endowed in the bosum department.

Why do all the arrangements get left to the female side? I wonder if I could get 'Don't tell the Bride' involved

OldGoat

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Why do all the arrangements get left to the female side?

Because the majority of men would be happy just signing the register followed by a nice steak dinner with a bottle of wine in a restaurant. Don't go blaming us if you want to go all fancy schmancy.

looksee

Do you mean the Raquel dress? The plain one looks a bit clingy but I like the floral one. I like the full skirted ones...not that that is a recommendation, I am not renowned for my fashion sense!

Jellybaby1

Julius, your posts always confuse me. With a man's name, I never thought you would go for a 50's flowery frock! Have you strayed from the burlesque forum with Old Goat, have you?

JuliusCaesar

That's funny! I just like dresses - put it on, you're dressed! You don't have to think about what goes with what, as you do with separates. And I've amassed a bit of a collection... :-)

looksee

but...but... you need stockings and pretty shoes and a wrap/ jacket/ cardi or whatever and...think I will stick with trousers Tho I do like long frocks.

Jellybaby1

Sure two track suits are all anyone needs! One for everyday and one for Sunday!

Rubecula

As a Scouser, I find a woman in a shell suit is really sexy..............not

Sudance

Just set up an account today out of sheer and utter fedupness. I know fedupness is not a word, but hey, who cares.

Sudance

Sudance wrote: »

Just set up an account today out of sheer and utter fedupness. I know fedupness is not a word, but hey, who cares.

Oop, sorry, I meant that for a different thread.

Jellybaby1

Sudance wrote: »

Just set up an account today out of sheer and utter fedupness. I know fedupness is not a word, but hey, who cares.

Sudance wrote: »

Oop, sorry, I meant that for a different thread.

I LOVE that word 'fedupness'! And, it still works in this thread! So you didn't actually buy a wedding dress then?

Sudance

I did, but it was never used.

Jellybaby1

Aw.

Sudance

lol, I can't say I agree

Samaris

Despite being a relatively young wan (and unmarried!), I'd be way more for a small and understated wedding than I would be for a big "do". I don't really like hotels that much.

My personal ideal wedding would be a rather renaissance faire deal, with a medieval-y type dress, probably not in white. Haul in various small nieces on both sides to bridesmaid (well, the older ones at least!) Some friends and family, and then an outdoor evening party with food cooked in a big old hole in the ground, sitting around a campfire (even more of a reason not to wear white!), a bit of a music session and chatter.

However, I can only imagine what that would do to the more conservative types amongst various relatives, so I'd probably go a bit more traditional just to keep the peace.

Or elope. But I'd never be forgiven on the partner's family's side if we pulled that stunt, I'm sure! I suspect I'd probably get away with it on my own family's side though!

In terms of it being the "bride's day", eh. That was the case when the wedding was the selling off of the bride to the husband, give the poor wan something to celebrate at least before she spent the next twenty years popping out sprogs. Nowadays, I think it should be the bride and groom's day, rather than the groom being treated as an accessory. The dress, the hotel, the flowers, all that's accessories.