It's April fools day

Kermit.de.frog

Ok, ok...best preferably news stories please


...:)

I'll start


http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/apr/01/jeremy-clarkson-joins-guardian-drive-for-fossil-fuel-divestment

“Top Gear was a wild ride for an ordinary bloke like me,” said Clarkson, speaking to the Guardian at a pub near Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire. “But there comes a time when a man’s got to ask himself what he really stands for. And for me, that’s sustainable energy, traffic calming and an end to xenophobia and prejudice.”

john the one

No its not

MadsL

john the one wrote: »

No its not

OP got you there...

Depraved

Depends on time zone.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

whiskeyman

What about the Center Parcs plan for Longford?
It's on rte and indo though which seems odd for an April Fools gag as I'd usually just expect it on one news outlet?

http://www.rte.ie/news/2015/0401/691243-center-parcs-longford/
http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/center-parcs-to-open-100m-holiday-resort-park-in-longford-31110233.html


Who the fupp wants to go to Longford on holidays??

One of the UK's largest holiday resort firms is to seek planning permission for a development in Ireland that could create 500 jobs.

Center Parcs UK is concluding negotiations with the State forestry board, Coillte, for a forestry village resort to be built near Ballymahon in Co Longford.

It is expected that 600 jobs will be created in the construction stage.

With five forestry based village resorts and a turnover of over €400 million, Center Parcs run some of the most successful family holiday venues in the UK.



Center Parcs management has been in discussions with Longford County Council CEO Tim Caffrey and Coillte and is set to announce a deal worth more than €100 million.

The company intends to lease hundreds of acres of mature and semi-mature forestry at Newcastle, near Ballymahon.



It will apply for planning to construct more than 200 lodges and villas with a swimming pool complex, spas, restaurants and bars near the river Inny, creating 500 full-time and part-time jobs in the single biggest private tourism investment of its kind in this region

Edit - seems like it's not an April Fools at all!
http://www.shannonside.ie/news/speculation-mounts-over-major-tourist-development-in-ballymahon/
great news I guess..

jester77

The Independent wrote:

A six-foot deep sink hole opened on a busy thoroughfare in Dublin city centre yesterday

The hole appeared on Dame Street, at the George's Street junction, around 100 metres from the Olympia Theatre yesterday evening.

Gardai cordoned off the area. The road was closed on Dame Street from the Georges street junction up to Christchurch, outbound only, and traffic congestion was reported as a result.

The six-foot-deep hole suddenly opened up outside Dame Street Medical Centre shortly before 9pm.

Although the surface of the hole was just about two feet in diameter, it stretched for at least six feet underneath the tarmac. Considerable damage could have been caused if the surface gave way any further.

City council officials arrived at the scene before 10pm to examine the situation.

Watch where you step

whiskeyman

whiskeyman wrote: »

What about the Center Parcs plan for Longford?
It's on rte and indo though which seems odd for an April Fools gag as I'd usually just expect it on one news outlet?

http://www.rte.ie/news/2015/0401/691243-center-parcs-longford/
http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/center-parcs-to-open-100m-holiday-resort-park-in-longford-31110233.html


Who the fupp wants to go to Longford on holidays??



Edit - seems like it's not an April Fools at all!
http://www.shannonside.ie/news/speculation-mounts-over-major-tourist-development-in-ballymahon/
great news I guess..

I'll wait 'till tomorrow...

Center Parcs are known for building in out of the way places as it is.
But anyone remember the Athlone Chinatown plan that should have been an April fools joke (well it turned out to be one)

Capt'n Midnight

jester77 wrote: »

Watch where you step

Don't worry the corpo are looking into it.

anncoates

My wife already got me.

Again.

My stupid is exponentially increasing. I'll getting done at 5 past midnight in the coming years

The Peanut

anncoates wrote: »

My wife already got me.

Again.

My stupid is exponentially increasing. I'll getting done at 5 past midnight in the coming years

She did marry you though so in reality it's April Fool on her everyday.;)

(Sincerest apologies to Mrs anncoates )

Copper_pipe

Centras Facebook page say they are no longer selling the Hot Chicken Roll due to a lack of interest

Birneybau

jester77 wrote: »

Watch where you step

The sinkhole is true though, I passed it on the bus last night.

hoodwinked

April fools is great for a moment when you get that trick to work on someone, but the internet today is already annoying me, NOTHING you read today can be believed, NOTHING!!!!

even the most genuine sounding story's could be a trick

*puts on tinfoil hat and waits out the day*

whiskeyman

Copper_pipe wrote: »

Centras Facebook page say they are no longer selling the Hot Chicken Roll due to a lack of interest

This should change their mind:

http://lovindublin.com/best-of/the-top-10-slickest-chicken-fillet-rolls-you-have-to-eat-in-2015

Here at Lovin Dublin we're all about great food, and sharing the best spots around the city to get it and we know there is nothing more culinarily enticing than a ****ing chicken fillet roll.

One thing's for sure, chicken fillet rolls are going to be MASSIVE in 2015 so we've taken it upon ourselves to draw up a super slick list of the top 10 chicken fillet rolls in Dublin. De-****ing-lish.

the_monkey

https://com.google/

jester77

https://com.google/

leahyl

On our local radio station this morning they said that it has emerged that T.D's will be exempt from paying the water charges.....was hard to know whether it was April Fools or not though......probably is seeing as I haven't heard it since

Day Lewin

Removing the Spire? Come on, lads....

the_monkey

maybe waterford whispers will have a serious story today ..

For Forks Sake

whiskeyman wrote: »

What about the Center Parcs plan for Longford?
It's on rte and indo though which seems odd for an April Fools gag as I'd usually just expect it on one news outlet?

http://www.rte.ie/news/2015/0401/691243-center-parcs-longford/
http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/center-parcs-to-open-100m-holiday-resort-park-in-longford-31110233.html


Who the fupp wants to go to Longford on holidays??



Edit - seems like it's not an April Fools at all!
http://www.shannonside.ie/news/speculation-mounts-over-major-tourist-development-in-ballymahon/
great news I guess..

There'll be all-out war if that's a fake.

anncoates

whiskeyman wrote: »

Here at Lovin Dublin we're all about great food, and sharing the best spots around the city to get it and we know there is nothing more culinarily enticing than a ****ing chicken fillet roll.

One thing's for sure, chicken fillet rolls are going to be MASSIVE in 2015 so we've taken it upon ourselves to draw up a super slick list of the top 10 chicken fillet rolls in Dublin. De-****ing-lish.

Does that website make anybody else want to headbutt their computer screen?

ThisRegard

whiskeyman wrote: »

What about the Center Parcs plan for Longford?
It's on rte and indo though which seems odd for an April Fools gag as I'd usually just expect it on one news outlet?

I thought it was an Aprils Fool myself until curiosity got the better of me this morning and a google returned the story from a number of news outlets, including the UK, some from last year.

So it's either happening, or an epic Aprils Fools story.

jester77 wrote: »

Watch where you step

That appeared in the news last night so a bit early for an Aprils fool ?

FluffyAngel

Birneybau wrote: »

The sinkhole is true though, I passed it on the bus last night.

My ex partner texted me last night that they fell in dublin whilst walking ,im guessing that it was there ass that got mistaken for the sinkhole...

whiskeyman

For Forks Sake wrote: »

There'll be all-out war if that's a fake.

so it's really happening so! Brilliant!

C'mon kids!
Pack you're bags.. we're heading on holidays to... LONGFORD!!
YAY!!

steamengine

Pizza deliveries allowed to use sirens and taxi lanes and break red lights, c'mon Plank give us a break Newstalk now:rolleyes:

thelad95

Given what happened with McDonalds recently, this may not actually be a joke but obviously given today's date, I'm highly sceptical.

Supermacs have apparently changed their name to McDonaghs..

http://supermacs.ie/

whiskeyman

thelad95 wrote: »

Given what happened with McDonalds recently, this may not actually be a joke but obviously given today's date, I'm highly sceptical.

Supermacs have apparently changed their name to McDonaghs..

http://supermacs.ie/

Some nice digs to the golden arches here!

press release from McDonaghs wrote:

PRESS RELEASE

Supermac’s have formally changed their name to McDonagh’s

A spokesman for Supermac’s has confirmed with immediate effect that all Supermac’s restaurants will now change their name to McDonagh’s.

All signage in our 100 plus restaurants and livery will be changed in the coming days and the new logo and name is the result of an exhaustive consultation process which sought to honour the source of the initial inspiration for Supermac’s restaurants name.

Staying true to roots that outlast even Supermac’s foundation in 1978, the newly titled ‘McDonagh’s’ restaurants will seek to fully acknowledge the work carried out by the McDonagh family’s influential beef farming uncle, Ronan McDonagh.

In honour of ‘Uncle Ron’ – a colourful McDonagh family character who led a truly unique life – Supermac’s, under its new moniker McDonagh’s, will seek to overhaul its menu in honour of the man who first supplied Supermac’s with its signature beef and taste over 37 years ago.

Just one of the McDonagh’s menu changes to be rolled out over the coming months will see the signature Mighty Mac now known as the Big Ronnie, owing to Ron’s impressive 6ft 6″ frame. The care and consideration given to the menu change is something Uncle Ron would have approved of as he was a man for attention to detail. Famously, Ron would hug his herd of cows goodnight, sometimes spending upwards of 2 hours each night reading to them (with the work of Brendan Behan being a favourite).

A changed menu and name will also help McDonagh’s with its expansion abroad as it seeks to distinguish itself from fast food companies whose inferior products share similar sounding name to Supermac’s.

The total cost of the rebrand has run into seven figures but we feel this is in line with the outlandish spirit of Ron, most typified by the occasion he lost £250,000 to Marlon Brando in a game of poker in a Monte Carlo casino.

“Uncle Ron led a truly atypical life and over the years he regaled the family with priceless anecdotes,” says Supermac’s founder Pat McDonagh, “we used to call him the man of a thousand jobs as he had tried his hand at almost everything before settling on his true passion of cattle farming in his later years”.

The new McDonagh’s mascot, which will now adorn all 100 of our stores throughout Ireland will pay homage to Ron’s time travelling the world with Duffy’s Circus. Ron spent several years with the circus after his brief stint as an unsuccessful opera singer in Italy.

Uncle Ron is said to have treasured his time entertaining crowds around the world as his larger than life clown persona which saw him dress in distinctive green dungarees complete with an orange wig.

As a touching tribute, each McDonagh’s restaurant will house a statue of Uncle Ron ‘clowning around’.

thelad95

whiskeyman wrote: »

Some nice digs to the golden arches here!

Yeah, the more I look it, it is a pisstake. I think what gives away is 'Ronan McDonagh=Ronald McDonald'

Howard the Duck

Paul Pogba releasing his own line of pogs

Yearning4Stormy

Poor show, RTÉ (I hope!) http://www.rte.ie/news/2015/0401/691308-spire/

Brussels Sprout

The programme of events to commemorate the 1916 Easter Rising was launched yesterday.

However, one element of the plan that did not get much attention was the proposal to remove the Spire from Dublin's O'Connell Street for the two weeks while the commemorations are taking place.

A number of parades, recreations and street theatre events will be taking place on the capital's main thoroughfare, and RTÉ News has been told that the organisers hope to recreate the streetscape of 100 years ago.

It is also believed that organisers want to maximise the space available for events and fear the Spire could block people's view of the events.

link

the groutch

joke or not, I wish they'd get rid of it for good.

Teyla Emmagan

Brussels Sprout wrote: »

link

I was listening to this on the radio this morning thinking WTF??? Only realised now it was April's Fools Day.

I hope to God that's a joke anyway.

ibarelycare

whiskeyman wrote: »

What about the Center Parcs plan for Longford?
It's on rte and indo though which seems odd for an April Fools gag as I'd usually just expect it on one news outlet?

http://www.rte.ie/news/2015/0401/691243-center-parcs-longford/
http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/center-parcs-to-open-100m-holiday-resort-park-in-longford-31110233.html


Who the fupp wants to go to Longford on holidays??



Edit - seems like it's not an April Fools at all!
http://www.shannonside.ie/news/speculation-mounts-over-major-tourist-development-in-ballymahon/
great news I guess..

I was sure this was an April Fool's joke until I googled it and found the same links as you!

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

razorblunt

Cork Radio Call In Show had a story that a congestion charge was being implemented for anyone entering the city island in a car.
Seems like they had a few bites on FB.

They'll never top the year one of their "high flying" presenters was doing the hourly guess the number call for €1000, it was his brother who he rang and he gave him clues to guess the number. Callers were threatening legal action and everything.

Or Today FM announcing Ronan Collins had won the Lotto.

Fred Swanson

This post has been deleted.

Mr. CooL ICE

My office has signs on the doors saying that the card swipe system now has voice recognition, and that employees can simply open the door by speaking their name. Hasn't caught anybody out yet

keano_afc

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

My office has signs on the doors saying that the card swipe system now has voice recognition, and that employees can simply open the door by speaking their name. Hasn't caught anybody out yet

Similarly, the printer engineer has placed a sign on our printer saying its now voice activated, shouting "print" and "scan" will get the job done.

messrs

http://www.sundayworld.com/news/ireland-s-euro-2016-qualifier-against-poland-may-have-to-be-replayed

scdublin

Did anyone else get this email from Domino's? Here' a link to the blog too - https://www.dominos.co.uk/blog/dominos-rolls-out-driverless-delivery-vehicles/

"We’re uber-excited to reveal an earth-shattering-stomach-rumbling innovation in pizza deliveration.

Our Delivery Innovation and Planning Squad (D.I.P.S) have worked tirelessly over the past 18 months to ensure we deliver Greatness to our customers in new and exciting ways. And now they’ve even managed to do it with no hands. Introducing the world’s first driverless delivery vehicle – the Domi-No-Driver.

It boasts a tree-hugging eco-electric Heatwave 2.0 system that carries more piping-hot pizza than ever before! That’s 400% more pizza thanks to 100% less driver. You do the math.

These whizzy wheelers will be hitting roads in select parts of the UK today. So make sure you tweet us with the hashtag #DomiNoDriver to find out if one of our pioneering pizza pods is delivering near you.

The Domi-No-Driver – delivering a slice of tomorrow, today!"

alchemist33

Here are some stories that ARE NOT April Fools jokes, apparently...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32144005

1. Swedish MPs have backed a ban on unlicensed dancing in public or "illegally moving your feet to music". Bar, restaurant and nightclub owners without permits can be fined if customers "dance spontaneously and without permission" as a result of a vote in the nation's parliament. Police say dancing can cause fighting and disorder.

Scarinae

One of my colleagues was looking at Twitter this morning, and exclaimed "Oh wow, CERN has confirmed the existence of The Force!" - she actually believed it

The story is actually well worth a read.

“Very impressive, this result is,” said a diminutive green spokesperson for the laboratory.

Kenobi's seminal paper "May the Force be with EU" – a strong argument that his experiment should be built in Europe – persuaded the CERN Council to finance the installation of dozens of new R2 units for the CERN data centre

eviltimeban

Re: Centreparcs - this sentence makes me suspicious: "Wang Jianli and Guo Guangchang are understood to be in the early stages of bidding for Center Parcs."

Wang Jianli? The former Prince of Han, who died in 940? Amazing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wang_Jianli

nelly17

Its a rare occasion that I get to say it but well played RTE

ThisRegard

eviltimeban wrote: »

Re: Centreparcs - this sentence makes me suspicious: "Wang Jianli and Guo Guangchang are understood to be in the early stages of bidding for Center Parcs."

Wang Jianli? The former Prince of Han, who died in 940? Amazing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wang_Jianli

He's some Chinese billionaire, and that's nothing to do with the Longford place, his name came up previously as a potential buyer when Centre Parcs gets floated.

WoollyRedHat

keano_afc wrote: »

Similarly, the printer engineer has placed a sign on our printer saying its now voice activated, shouting "print" and "scan" will get the job done.

Ha reminds me of this

maconof

You should tune into 4fm at the moment, Niall Boylan is hosting his 1pm to 3pm talkshow. They have an expert named 'Chris Rivers' on from a new body 'Uisce for Life' explaining how they can come into your home and take your belongings to pay your Irish Water bill (if you haven't paid yet).

It's absolutely hilarious hearing those calling in getting very frustrated, great wind-up.

Conall Cernach

Well, Holy God! Irish Government to Levy Landowners With Holy Wells

https://voxhiberionacum.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/holy-well/

irisharchaeology.ie posted this on Facebook today.

whiskeyman

eviltimeban wrote: »

Re: Centreparcs - this sentence makes me suspicious: "Wang Jianli and Guo Guangchang are understood to be in the early stages of bidding for Center Parcs."

Wang Jianli? The former Prince of Han, who died in 940? Amazing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wang_Jianli

Nope - this guy apparently:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wang_Jianlin
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/comment/11487604/Whats-next-for-an-increasingly-big-fish-called-Wanda.html