is the big day worth it?

missjuly

Hi I was just wondering if people think the whole white wedding pomp and ceremony was worth it? Im engaged and I am so excited to get married to my fiancé! !
The whole actual wedding thing is stressing me out! I'm not a shy person but I am when it comes to events I have never had an 18th a 21st I just don't like the attention and "pressure". If I do have the whole white day im already afraid if people dont have fun!?Then of course there is the expense of a wedding too :O.
My fiancé and I have been goint back and forth different things we could do for our special day?! I feel I want to do something special and I do really want to wear a pretty white dress lol.

Anyone who had the whole big day was it worth it would you do it again? Or anyone planning their wedding how do you feel about your up coming big day (excited I hope).Love to hear your thoughts :-)

thierry14

As a male I was incredibly pissed off paying for a useless photographer, being robbed on the flowers and paying way over the odds for the wedding dress, rings etc

The only thing that was value for money was the dinner and venue

All people try and do is take advantage of you.

ABajaninCork

I had my 'Big Day'. Was it worth it? YES! Would I do it again? Most definitely YES!!!

I'm a fairly calm and organised person anyway, so didn't get too excited about the planning, as I worked in the industry at the time. I did have fun in planning though and even after seven years, I miss being a bride. That's why I like reading and keeping up with weddings through this forum...

jimmycrackcorm

The big day is certainly worth it, the big question is whether it's worth the amount of money you spend.

I attended my brother's wedding recently and still feel a buzz about it. The weekend cost me alone more than my monthly mortgage payment but it was a rare special occasion in a life of the daily mundane.

fits

I have had some great days out at the expense of my family, and some not so great. And there are rare opportunities for us all to get together like this. So I thought I should return the favour some time. I am mostly enjoying it so far and I think we have picked a venue that will allow us to relax and enjoy the day with our guests. I hope so anyway. If I was running around like a stressball all day I'd be upset.

eviltwin

If it's what you've always dreamed of then it probably will be worth it in the end. But do remember the big white wedding is not compulsory. If you want something more low key then you can do that while still having a memorable day. And you can still wear the white dress

lazygal

We've done both the quick no frills legal ceremony and the big day. Both were enjoyable for very different reasons. If I didn't feel I'd enjoy the big day and would resent or regret spending the money and time on it I wouldn't have it. Check out one fab day and other blogs for.ideas before you commit to the traditional Irish wedding.
It costs €200 to get married in Ireland. Anything over that spend is entirely optional.

MistyCheese

A wedding need only be as big as (the two of) you want it to be.

Lucena

Never got married, so speaking purely from the point of view of someone invited to the different weddings.

In the run-up to some of the weddings I was at, speaking to the happy couple to be, they'd be telling me about how their wedding would be different. "We're getting dancers in" or "We've chosen Hotel X because the food is meant to be amazing" or something about flowers, dresses and the like. To me all the weddings were pretty much cookie-cutter affairs, with none of them standing out from the others. I still enjoyed myself as did the families, friends and the couple, but I don't know if it's worth making a huge effort to make your day special.

Having said that, maybe for the different couples the time, money and effort put into the wedding was worth it, but it's one of those things you'll never really ask, or get a straight answer on anyway. Have you ever heard anyone say that their special day was less than amazing?

This all sounds a bit cynical, but I guess the point I'm making is that you need to do whatever it is YOU want to do, and not worry too much about keeping other people happy. Personally spending 30 grand on one day seems like madness to me, with that money you could travel around the world in luxury, buy a brand new car, or have a choice between meh salmon and overcooked beef.

fits

My very lovely other half keeps saying our day will be "different". I have to tell him no, its not actually that different at all. But it suits us i think and thats what matters. And i trust the venue to give people a lovely day, hopefully.

Yes, it was worth it for us. We spent a quite a lot on a relatively small wedding but we could afford to do so.
It wasn't what I had always dreamed of and I never wanted to be a princess. But the day was fantastic and we have lovely memories.

Without wanting to sound morbid, we are now at the stage in life (late 30s) where we are attending quite a lot of funerals, and it's not just parents of friends, it's workmates and acquaintances who have passed on younger than 'expected'.
My own thoughts about life and the point of it all have been challenged hugely in the past couple of years.

I'm firmly of the opinion that any excuse to celebrate with loved ones is a good excuse. It doesn't have to cost a ton if you don't want it to.

wuffly

Have to say we felt ours was worth it, there aren't many things I would change about it if I were to do it again. We are glad we went with the numbers its really wonderful to have as many of your family and friends with you as possible. We had a big crowd til 5am so pretty sure they were enjoying it too. We were the first wedding in my family and one of the first of most of our close friends at home, so i think we benefited a little from people in our circle being less 'jaded' by weddings, we spent a good bit but a lot of this went to minimising costs for our guests. (subsidising rooms etc..) a lot of people gave time and talent rather than physical gifts/cash which we really really appreciated. The stuff is nice but its all about the crowd and atmosphere that make wedding and generally if you are enjoying it so will your guests. I have been a bridesmaid for a bride that had an awful wedding day and have known at least two other girls that stressed so much they didn't enjoy it at all. Knowing these stories made me determined to enjoy it, bar the place going up in flames nothing was going to bother me on the day. And to be fair my brother did an amazing buffer job. I only had one moment upsetting moment and I just decided no, not today. Your wedding is really what you make it. I'm quiet private and shy but I love my family and friends and they will be the people that support my married life so having them there was important to me. Its not for everyone, you'll know whats right for you and that's what you should go with

missjuly

Thank you so much for all the replies I really appreciate it...loads to think about. So glad to hear so many positive stories :-). I like what some of you have said about the craic and a break from the hum drum and how its nice to get people together for a happy occasion -its so true! !!

I think if we do have the a traditional type wedding we won't be spending crazy money just couldn't justify it. We were thinking maybe of planning something for maybe late this year. Found a venue we really like they have a date for early December. I suppose I feel if we do have a fairly short time frame that no one will have big expectations- I know such a terrible way to think. The. Venue is lovely and the packages contain loads of drink and food so that's good. I think we would have a Dj not a band just couldn't afford 2 grand for a band on top of everything else! Did anyone else just have a Dj how did you find this?

I suppose I'm afraid I would feel I missed out if we didn't have a traditional day. However thinking of the whole thing almost makes me want to elope. I must look on one fab day for different ideas maybe immediate family for a meal then have all the pictures then maybe flight out that night on honey moon!?
We are swinging in round abouts what to do!

fits

Just be aware, even with being fairly reservrd in your choices, you'll spend 20k in no time!

micks_address

missjuly wrote: »

Hi I was just wondering if people think the whole white wedding pomp and ceremony was worth it? Im engaged and I am so excited to get married to my fiancé! !
The whole actual wedding thing is stressing me out! I'm not a shy person but I am when it comes to events I have never had an 18th a 21st I just don't like the attention and "pressure". If I do have the whole white day im already afraid if people dont have fun!?Then of course there is the expense of a wedding too :O.
My fiancé and I have been goint back and forth different things we could do for our special day?! I feel I want to do something special and I do really want to wear a pretty white dress lol.

Anyone who had the whole big day was it worth it would you do it again? Or anyone planning their wedding how do you feel about your up coming big day (excited I hope).Love to hear your thoughts :-)

One of the best things about the day is being able to have a big party with your friends.. Obvious outpourings of emotions towards family in speeches etc..

It's expensive for one day and I'd argue that it's not really about the marriage... If it were just about getting married and showing love for each other as a couple I'd be just as happy in a low key ceremony..

You do get lasting memories like photos maybe a video (which is nice to have to look back on years later)

All in all its great but i wouldn't say it's essential

kildareash

I'm really looking forward to our day. We've had a pretty torrid few years and it was made a bit more bearable through the love and support we got from our family and friends so in one way we want to give them a good day out to say thank you.

We are spending what we can afford to spend, this does mean compromising on a few things and calling in favours etc but I don't think the amount of money equates to how much you will enjoy your day.

Do what feels right to you and your fiancé.

Milly33

congrats to you OP!! We haven't had ours yet have five months to go... And I must say I am looking forward to it, but I do kinda have it in the back of my head that I wish we had kept it smaller.. When we started planning I had in my head we would just have close family and friends for the ceremony and then everyone after that, but now we have lets say everyone going..

It is fine it just came down to things like would people travel just to come to the afters...

I would say maybe make a list the two of ye and see what is on it, what ye want from the day and take it from there.. There are no wrongs and rights and everyone has an opinion about something so just go with want ye want..Small, big, feed them don't, just do with what makes ye happy. Don't be pressured also to have certain things just because that is how it is normally done like photos, cars, cake....

homemadecider

Do what suits you best. I would be a bit like you - I don't like fuss or attention and I certainly wouldn't like 200 people staring at me as I walked down an aisle. My husband has never liked traditional Irish weddings so it was an easy enough choice for us to elope. We went overseas and got married on a beautiful beach, with resort staff as witnesses. We stayed on for our honeymoon in the same place.

When we came home we brought our immediate families out for a slap up meal with great wine, after dinner we went to a function room in a nice pub where we were joined by all our friends for a session to celebrate. The dinner and pub (including free wine for anyone who wanted it) cost less than 1.5k. It was exactly what we wanted - low-key, relaxed and a great way to celebrate and bring people together.

Gatica

We did feel that the wedding was worth all the money and even some stress... We did want it different, but retrospectively, apart form the ceremony (which is probably similar enough to others in the same category) the rest of the wedding was fairly traditional-Irish, or cookie cutter, if you will. Wish we'd invited another dozen friends, that we regrettably didn't invite due to perceived number constraints...

We still enjoyed it immensely. All the family that wouldn't have come over or met together for any other occasion unfortunately, all the smiling faces, the photos, especially our grandmothers, it still makes me smile every time I think about it. It was a wonderful day for us, and hopefully day out for them (while I'm aware that it cost them money too to attend).

I think once you plan a day you're happy to go for, something you can afford without going into debt, something that you think your guests will enjoy, that's the main thing. If you hate the idea of lots of people staring at you, then why not do a low-key ceremony with only immediate few members of your family, followed by food and party for the rest of your guests. Avoid the red carpet, the announcement of the B&G's entrance, cake cutting and first dance and that's pretty much the attention-centred events cut-out. Make sure to chat to all your guests at some point in the evening, and I'm sure they'll be happy.

pwurple

fits wrote: »

Just be aware, even with being fairly reservrd in your choices, you'll spend 20k in no time!

20k is not a minimum by any means.

Ours was nowhere near that and we got married during the celtic tiger.

Dress - bought on ebay, sold on ebay afterwards for slightly more (to cover cleaning). Cost = 0 Had shoes.
Flowers - picked from my own garden. Cost = 0
Rings - Plain bands. 200 euro each.
Invites - designed and printed ourselves = Cost = fancy paper and some stamps ~50euro.
Cake - big cake from a normal bakery - 150
Food - had a bbq.
Band - I'd skip if I was doing it again. That was a waste of money. Should have gotten a dj.
Official stuff - was 150 at the time, is 200 now.

fits

pwurple wrote: »

20k is not a minimum by any means.

.

I never said it was. But it is very easy to spend 20k. Things add up very quickly.

An Bhanríon

We had what would be considered a simple version of the big traditional Irish wedding - 120 people at church ceremony with dinner and dancing afterwards and around another 40 for the afters. We left out a lot of stuff, though, e.g. special wedding car, lots of flowers, bridal party (we just had witnesses).

I LOVED having all my family and friends there on the day. I actually can't find words to describe how wonderful it was to have them all there to celebrate our wedding. The 'happy buzz' was amazing!

If that is what you would like, and if you can afford it, I would go for it. If you don't like the idea of all the attention and all the planning and all the questions you will get in the run up to your wedding, do something else. I know a lot of people who didn't enjoy their wedding days. The main reason was their wedding ended up being what other people expected it to be and not what they actually wanted themselves. And then one friend who decided to have just immediate family for her wedding day ended up having an absolutely fabulous day. So it really depends on what you like yourself.

To Elland Back

Thread needs a Poll

I'm Male YES/NO
I'm Female YES/NO

If you want genuine answers from the poll, the Male option needs to be anonymous

Milly33

Does that mean you other half is on boards too and they will see what you said

Gatica

Would people not just be honest with each-other and say they went along with it but didn't think it's worth all that money and hassle? (i.e. if that's what the worry is about)

eviltwin

Gatica wrote: »

Would people not just be honest with each-other and say they went along with it but didn't think it's worth all that money and hassle? (i.e. if that's what the worry is about)

I guess its one of those things in hindsight you look back on and wonder would it have mattered if you hadn't spent the money but at the time you just have to do it. Its like anything, your debs, your kids birthday parties, going to a wedding as a guest....you look back and realise you probably would have had as good a time on a budget but at the time its really important to have everything perfect.

aaakev

i got married 4 weeks ago and i decided when we were planning it i wouldn't say no to anything my now wife wanted because she never asks for anything! she planned it all exactly the way she wanted it and it was worth every penny. we had a civil ceremony in a nice hotel with gardens for pictures and spent the weekend there with our 60 odd guests. we decided at the start to only invite people we genuinely wanted there which was about 80 but a few couldn't make it.

final cost for the whole thing was €11,400

the poster who said everyone was out to rip you off as soon as they hear wedding is correct, we found this too but i didnt pay asking price for anything, i negotiated with every single supplier for the wedding and got them all to a price i was comfortable paying.

the DJ was a friend who is a wedding DJ so i got a good deal there and the band are a local band we know well so also got a great deal off them and they stuck round for the weekend too, people who didnt know them couldnt believe they werent a wedding band.

great weekend had by all concerned and it didnt break the bank

GentleMommy

Have to say we got engaged in April and married in December that same year, registry office and then a very small sit down meal which was just for immediate family and close friends I think there was only like 30 people including bridal party and then we had everyone arrive to afters for a bit of a party, got a dj didnt see the sense in a band and had a great night! I bought my wedding dress online, bought my decorations and table decorations on ebay mostly and in ikea, for me personally I would never have been able to justify spending thousands on a wedding!

To Elland Back

Milly33 wrote: »

Does that mean you other half is on boards too and they will see what you said

Nope, she is not on Boards but she would share my opinion that the cost of weddings, generally, has become ridiculous. There is is no way she would want anything extravagant, when the financial burden will be borne for years to come

Married 29 year now, had a lovely wedding, reception, photographs, honeymoon etc., but none of the sillyness that you see these days

pwurple

To Elland Back wrote: »

Married 29 year now, had a lovely wedding, reception, photographs, honeymoon etc., but none of the sillyness that you see these days

You mean you didn't have a sweet cart or a photobooth or a release of floating lanterns at midnight? :eek:

Milly33

To Elland Back wrote: »

Nope, she is not on Boards but she would share my opinion that the cost of weddings, generally, has become ridiculous. There is is no way she would want anything extravagant, when the financial burden will be borne for years to come

Married 29 year now, had a lovely wedding, reception, photographs, honeymoon etc., but none of the sillyness that you see these days

I see, I see..I just done see why the option of male vote would be hidden or poster vote. Anywho sure everyone is different what one person things is the bees knees another would be all no im not having that.

It is you day and I am sure it is all worth it once it is how you wished it would be

lazygal

To Elland Back wrote: »

Nope, she is not on Boards but she would share my opinion that the cost of weddings, generally, has become ridiculous. There is is no way she would want anything extravagant, when the financial burden will be borne for years to come

Married 29 year now, had a lovely wedding, reception, photographs, honeymoon etc., but none of the sillyness that you see these days

The cost of weddings has not become ridiculous. My parents still have the brochure for the hotel for their wedding and adjusting for inflation the prices are broadly similar to what we paid-but I'd guarantee the food and wine was immeasureably better at ours than at their wedding. They had a professional photographer who was a chancer-at least these days people can check for online reviews. They had a honeymoon, new dress etc. They couldn't afford a terribly extravagent affair but it wasn't on a shoestring.
We could have had a much more fancy wedding, we could have gone for a higher end venue, I could have had a designer dress and we could have invited a lot more people, but we decided on what was worth it to us and what we wanted to spend.
I don't understand this line that's trotted out so often that the cost of weddings is silly and overpriced. When we broke down the costs of each individual supplier, none was extortionate and we got a great rate on our photos (we spent more on two family photoshoots with our children than on our wedding photos). It costs €200 to get married in Ireland. Who cares what anyone spends over and above that, if they can afford it and they want it why is that riduculous? I think buying a new car every couple of years, or going on backpacking holidays, or buying fancy sports gear you'll hardly use is al ridiculous for me but that doesn't make it so for everyone else who chose to spend their money that way.
And I know just as many men as women who want the big day with all the trimmings in our circles of friends and relatives, often because the guys only get together at weddings with emigration these days.

jaja321

lazygal wrote: »

And I know just as many men as women who want the big day with all the trimmings in our circles of friends and relatives, often because the guys only get together at weddings with emigration these days.

Very true. Amongst my group of friends who got married there were nearly more men than women who wanted the whole 'big day'. Many of the brides just wanted to elope!

To Elland Back

Milly33 wrote: »

I see, I see..I just done see why the option of male vote would be hidden or poster vote. Anywho sure everyone is different what one person things is the bees knees another would be all no im not having that.

It is you day and I am sure it is all worth it once it is how you wished it would be

If I elaborate on my genuine feelings on this subject, I'll get kicked out for trolling, which I'm not.

Prospective grooms love their fiancée and would do anything to make them happy. If that means the whole shooting match of a big wedding, they are 100% behind it. Why wouldn't they, I would do ANYTHING that makes my wife happy. However, you should never confuse that with men actually enjoying weddings and especially the build up to them, either as a guest or a participant.

I'll leave you with this. The major source of rows among couples is generally accepted to be over finances and who spends what. If a new couple inherit a debt from their wedding, what chance have you got?

If you have the money, do whatever floats your boat, but to get in to debt because your friend, cousin or neighbour had X type of a wedding is madness

fits

I think we should have your poll Mr Elland Back. Would be interesting to see if your opinions are borne out.

Faith

jaja321 wrote: »

Very true. Amongst my group of friends who got married there were nearly more men than women who wanted the whole 'big day'. Many of the brides just wanted to elope!

It's been my fiancé who has pushed for a lot of the extravagance of our wedding. I suggested a very small wedding abroad, he wanted a big one at home. I wanted a 4* hotel, he pushed for a 5* one with a much bigger capacity. I bought a sample dress to save money; he wants custom-made clothes. It's definitely my fiancé who's pushing for the bigger, more extravagant wedding!

It's definitely not my experience that men 'only go along with it' for their wives' happiness.

westernlass

We have both every decision together regarding cost and level of spend. Once we figured out how to pay for it we have had no falling outs. I don't think it's fair that all brides or all grooms are the same.

eviltwin

I would have happily eloped. We didn't because my husband wanted a party. I hated spending money on it, he would have spent multiples given the chance. His outfit was custom made, I bought a cheap dress off ebay. That's just us but any couples I know the male has enjoyed the big do as much as she did.

Mrs OBumble

Is the big day worth it?

IMHO it depends on whether your values are focused on having a wedding (big event that's all about you) or celebrating the start of a marriage.

If the former, then definitely yes.

If the latter, then probably not, you can celebrate just as well in a number of smaller ways.

Gatica

missjuly wrote: »

Anyone who had the whole big day was it worth it would you do it again? Or anyone planning their wedding how do you feel about your up coming big day

To be honest from the OP's original question, I thought they wanted comments from:

1. people who've already had a "big" wedding
2. anyone planning at the moment

I'm assuming with regards to 1, that someone who had a small wedding can't really comment on whether a big wedding was worth it, as it's not what they had. It's also IMO not about whether it's obscene, ridiculous or otherwise, unless it's a comment on their own big wedding, otherwise it's not really answering the OP. Whether the men or women wanted it, isn't really relevant. FWIW, I wanted a smaller intimate wedding than my OH, however, I'm glad now we did the bigger wedding.

PS: I should probably add that a smaller wedding of my choosing wouldn't probably have meant it would've been cheaper.

Tarzana2

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Is the big day worth it?

IMHO it depends on whether your values are focused on having a wedding (big event that's all about you) or celebrating the start of a marriage.

If the former, then definitely yes.

If the latter, then probably not, you can celebrate just as well in a number of smaller ways.

That's unfair, it's not that black and white. You can want, and have, both.

Uno my Uno.

We're planing our wedding at the moment, at first we wanted it to be quite small, minimal fuss but once we got into it and looked at what we wanted and what our families wanted it started to turn into a more typical midsized wedding. We haven't been extravagant but we haven't done it on a shoestring either. Occasionally I look at the budget and breakout in a cold a sweat thinking about what it would else it could pay for.

The thing is though, we are only going to do it once. We won't get another opportunity to bring both our families and all our friends together to celebrate our love and the start of our lives together. I won't get the chance to make a speech to everyone on my wedding day again, this is the only time she will be walked down the aisle and it is the only chance we will have to say to everyone all at once, that this is the first day of the rest of our lives.

So there is a chance that in 30 years we will look back and think it was all a bit of a waste and we could have done without it but I'm quite happy to risk that. I would hate to have the regret or feeling that we had missed out on something that we can never do again. We do want that special day for all sorts of reasons not least because this is the only chance to have it.

MadDog76

missjuly wrote: »

Hi I was just wondering if people think the whole white wedding pomp and ceremony was worth it? Im engaged and I am so excited to get married to my fiancé! !
The whole actual wedding thing is stressing me out! I'm not a shy person but I am when it comes to events I have never had an 18th a 21st I just don't like the attention and "pressure". If I do have the whole white day im already afraid if people dont have fun!?Then of course there is the expense of a wedding too :O.
My fiancé and I have been goint back and forth different things we could do for our special day?! I feel I want to do something special and I do really want to wear a pretty white dress lol.

Anyone who had the whole big day was it worth it would you do it again? Or anyone planning their wedding how do you feel about your up coming big day (excited I hope).Love to hear your thoughts :-)

As a male who was pessimistic about the whole Big wedding, being centre of attention (well slightly left of centre), the cost etc. I have to say ......... YES it was well worth it and more, would do it all again if I could!!

desertcircus

It depends hugely on personality. We had 22 guests at ours, which was perfect for us - everyone at the ceremony and dinner was a parent, sibling or close friend, and our savings didn't take a substantial hit. The money aspect is something that a lot of people I've talked to have regretted not giving proper thought to before having a big wedding. 20k was mentioned earlier in the thread as a number that can be reached surprisingly easily - that's around a year's salary after tax for a lot of people, or a deposit on a house. It's a special day, but it'll be a special day whether you spend 20k or 200 quid.

Inspector Coptoor

As a male who wanted the big country wedding, we had 230 plus for dinner and spent a nice bit of money, between 25-30k.

It was absolutely worth every penny and i'd do it again in a heart beat.

We didn't go into any debt for it, we saved hard and enjoyed our few days and the honeymoon afterwards

aaakev

Inspector Coptoor wrote: »

As a male who wanted the big country wedding, we had 230 plus for dinner and spent a nice bit of money, between 25-30k.

It was absolutely worth every penny and i'd do it again in a heart beat.

We didn't go into any debt for it, we saved hard and enjoyed our few days and the honeymoon afterwards

dead right, do what you can afford and not end up in debt after it. That figure will be different for everyone

An Bhanríon

I agree with the comments about not going into debt for your wedding. And I think that can also affect how much you enjoy your wedding. I would have felt enormous pressure for everything to go perfect on my wedding day had I gone into debt to pay for it / been depending on cash gifts to pay for it / had spent every last penny we had on the wedding. A wedding should be a happy occassion and not create financial worries. Which is why all couples should look carefully at their finances before deciding what their 'dream day' is going to be. A 'dream wedding day' can come in many forms!

missjuly

Thanks you so much again for all the replys some really interesting points loved reading through them all. Well in the mean time I have talked myself in and out of it ha! But I love hearing all the positive stories :-).
We got a cancellation date at the end of summer for a venue we like but its very soon (we haven't booked it). I mentioned before I kind of wanted a short time frame so there won't be big expectations- but I mentioned it to two friends and they are both away (separately). So now im worried loads of other people will already have plans because of the time of year and the short notice as some relatives and friends would travelling from the UK. Also thinking of maybe not having a band because its such a short time frame to find one and expense-they are so dear!! But then what will a wedding be like without a band? Anyone any thoughts or experience of a Dj only wedding? ......maybe we will just elope haha!

Inspector Coptoor

We had a DJ only and it was fantastic

kandr10

Another dj only wedding here and it worked out great. Just make sure it's a decent dj!
As regards the booking, would you be bothered if those friends/ other people outside your immediate family couldn't make it? If yes, push it back a month or two. Autumn this year would still be fairly quick. Depends how hard it is to get venues though I suppose. Are a lot booked up that you've looked at?

An Bhanríon

Another dj only wedding here. Worked for us but we did also have a singer at the end of dinner so that broke the day up a bit. The dj started at 9pm. If we hadn't had the singer that part of the day might have dragged on a bit. And yes certainly make sure you get a good dj. We had seen ours at a wedding before so we knew he would suit us.