Advice for a small lady getting into lifting

Fantasy_Suicide

Hey all!

I know you see at least two or three of these posts a week but I've got some questions I'm struggling to find answers to. This might be a long read, just to warn you.

I'm 5ft 3 and currently weighing in at 121lbs. I've been working out three times a week since late December and have dropped 13lbs in total. I run 3.5kms in 20mins for my warm up and then do a couple of different machines and a small set of free weights. Last week I dropped down to 118lbs and was delighted. The plan is to go to 115lbs and then bulk up in muscle from there. I have few questions regarding my goal.

Firstly I need to specify that I have a history of eating disorders and I have been trying my hardest not to end up back there. I find I am obsessing with numbers (pounds lost, distance ran etc.) and was heartbroken when I found I had gone back up from 118 to 121 today. I need to find a way to quantify my progress on a weekly basis. Should I use a tape measure? If so, what do I measure? How often can I measure?

My next question is regarding refeeds. Where can I find solid info on refeeds, how often should I be looking to refeed and what advice can anyone give me on what I should be eating?

Finally, I want to lift more and maybe vary my sessions - legs, arms etc but I'm struggling to know what exercises should I be doing. Can anyone point me towards a good resource for women on weightlifting? Also, I find my back is getting weak, any advice on helping with this?

Thanks so much for reading, I appreciate everyone's input.

Cuddlesworth

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Should I use a tape measure? If so, what do I measure? How often can I measure?

Mirror or a photographic history from a neutral standpoint. Muscle can weight more then fat and your weight means that you could have easily lost a lot of fat and put on some muscle from the running alone. Keep in mind too, for women your weight can flucate based on the time of the month.

I've gotten used to hopping on a scales once every 2 or 3 months in work to keep on eye on the overall weight but I don't stare at the scales. It can't be healthy unless your aiming for some stupid low bodyfat for a bodybuilding show.

househero

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

Mirror or a photographic history from a neutral standpoint. Muscle can weight more then fat and your weight means that you could have easily lost a lot of fat and put on some muscle from the running alone. Keep in mind too, for women your weight can flucate based on the time of the month.

I've gotten used to hopping on a scales once every 2 or 3 months in work to keep on eye on the overall weight but I don't stare at the scales. It can't be healthy unless your aiming for some stupid low bodyfat for a bodybuilding show.

Your braver than me mentioning that hahaha. What he says.

By the way congratulations on your success so far. You are doing well. If you are living, you will have lost a lot more fat and gained a decent few pounds of muscle.

You measure your biggest part of your thigh, waist, belly, under bust and arms. But the best way to track progress is weekly photos. Keep photos of yourself in ur pants private, you don't want half the internet gawking at your ladybits

Mellor

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

I find I am obsessing with numbers (pounds lost, distance ran etc.) and was heartbroken when I found I had gone back up from 118 to 121 today.

You didn't gain 3kg in a week. Not possible.
So either you are retaining water now and the 121kg is bloated. Or you were dehydrated and weren't actually 118kg.

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

Muscle can weight more then fat and your weight means that you could have easily lost a lot of fat and put on some muscle from the running alone[/URL].

Running isn't likely to build much muscle for a women, and not over the course of a week.

LuckyLloyd

Why is weighing 115lbs your goal?

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Hey all!

I know you see at least two or three of these posts a week but I've got some questions I'm struggling to find answers to. This might be a long read, just to warn you.

I'm 5ft 3 and currently weighing in at 121lbs. I've been working out three times a week since late December and have dropped 13lbs in total. I run 3.5kms in 20mins for my warm up and then do a couple of different machines and a small set of free weights. Last week I dropped down to 118lbs and was delighted. The plan is to go to 115lbs and then bulk up in muscle from there. I have few questions regarding my goal.

Firstly I need to specify that I have a history of eating disorders and I have been trying my hardest not to end up back there. I find I am obsessing with numbers (pounds lost, distance ran etc.) and was heartbroken when I found I had gone back up from 118 to 121 today. I need to find a way to quantify my progress on a weekly basis. Should I use a tape measure? If so, what do I measure? How often can I measure?

My next question is regarding refeeds. Where can I find solid info on refeeds, how often should I be looking to refeed and what advice can anyone give me on what I should be eating?

Finally, I want to lift more and maybe vary my sessions - legs, arms etc but I'm struggling to know what exercises should I be doing. Can anyone point me towards a good resource for women on weightlifting? Also, I find my back is getting weak, any advice on helping with this?

Thanks so much for reading, I appreciate everyone's input.

First off, I'm just wondering about the risk/reward of trying to lose weight and then bulk if you obsess over numbers as much. With a history of eating disorders and being heartbroken over 3 pounds that could just be to normal fluctuations, I would just be a little concerned that you revisit the scales and freak out at putting on weight when you're trying to add muscle mass.

I would advise ditching the scales. If you're eating is on the money most of the time then you'll be fine. Photos and measurements and how your clothes fit you are all better indicators.

Two of the workout programs aimed at women that spring to mind are New Rules of Lifting for Women and Strong Curves, both of which pemtca has logged over in Fitness Logs. But it depends what your goals are really.

Couple of good resources for women linked to here.

Fantasy_Suicide

Mellor wrote: »

You didn't gain 3kg in a week. Not possible.
So either you are retaining water now and the 121kg is bloated. Or you were dehydrated and weren't actually 118kg.


Running isn't likely to build much muscle for a women, and not over the course of a week.

lbs, not kg. I'm lifting some weights but not doing a whole lot. I'd like to do more.

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

Why is weighing 115lbs your goal?

I'm not even sure. It's a number I got into my head and I guess it just stuck.

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

First off, I'm just wondering about the risk/reward of trying to lose weight and then bulk if you obsess over numbers as much. With a history of eating disorders and being heartbroken over 3 pounds that could just be to normal fluctuations, I would just be a little concerned that you revisit the scales and freak out at putting on weight when you're trying to add muscle mass.

I would advise ditching the scales. If you're eating is on the money most of the time then you'll be fine. Photos and measurements and how your clothes fit you are all better indicators.

Two of the workout programs aimed at women that spring to mind are New Rules of Lifting for Women and Strong Curves, both of which pemtca has logged over in Fitness Logs. But it depends what your goals are really.

Couple of good resources for women linked to here.

Thanks so much for the resources. I know I need to leave the scales behind, but numbers motivate me to do better. I'll try measuring instead and I'll keep a photo log. Thanks so much!

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Thanks so much for the resources. I know I need to leave the scales behind, but numbers motivate me to do better. I'll try measuring instead and I'll keep a photo log. Thanks so much!

Numbers might motivate you more but they're also more likely to cause undue stress. If you're putting on muscle, you'll put on weight. You might actually be slimmer but if you place too much importance on the number on the scales, you might end up having a negative slant on something positive. If you keep a photo log and also record how your clothes feel on you, that will reinforce positives.

If your back is weak, you should do more pulling exercises - vertical and horizontal. Pulldowns/pullups would be vertical, rows would be horizontal. There are other back exercises as well for different areas but there's plenty of material in those resources and programs for you to read up on and understand what you'll be doing and why

Mellor

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

lbs, not kg. I'm lifting some weights but not doing a whole lot. I'd like to do more.

Sorry, I knew you meant pounds. Didn't think you were 115kg. Just a typo, on repeat.

My point remains, you didn't gain 3lbs in a week. You likely were never truely 118lbs, nor 121lbs the week after.

Alf Veedersane

Mellor wrote: »

My point remains, you didn't gain 118lbs in a week.

That'd be a helluva refeed

Mellor

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

That'd be a helluva refeed

I'm on fyre

Fantasy_Suicide

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

That'd be a helluva refeed

Hahaha! Speaking of refeeds, I'm looking to learn more on what I should be eating and how often, any tips?

LuckyLloyd

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

I'm not even sure. It's a number I got into my head and I guess it just stuck.

I figured as much.

Given your height and current weight I would suggest not looking at a scale for a long time. If you focus on:

- how you look;
- how your clothes fit;
- how you feel;
- how you are performing in the gym;

and eating good quality food most of the time with the occasional treat, if those things move forward your weight will end up wherever it's supposed to.

Alf's links are a great place to start. I'd also go a step further and ask if there are any Crossfit or Strength & Conditioning type gyms near you? A good gym of that type would be a great option to learn how to lift and from a psychological perspective, surrounding yourself with people who are all focussed on performance could be very helpful in taking you away from a scales obsession.

And fair play on your progress to date as well by the way. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do from here.

Fantasy_Suicide

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

I figured as much.

Given your height and current weight I would suggest not looking at a scale for a long time. If you focus on:

- how you look;
- how your clothes fit;
- how you feel;
- how you are performing in the gym;

and eating good quality food most of the time with the occasional treat, if those things move forward your weight will end up wherever it's supposed to.

Alf's links are a great place to start. I'd also go a step further and ask if there are any Crossfit or Strength & Conditioning type gyms near you? A good gym of that type would be a great option to learn how to lift and from a psychological perspective, surrounding yourself with people who are all focussed on performance could be very helpful in taking you away from a scales obsession.

And fair play on your progress to date as well by the way. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do from here.

Thanks so much! I definitely need to refocus my goals and figure out what it is I want to achieve. The weight loss part was easy, it's just where to go from here.

I used be involved in pole classes, but that was a long time ago. I've signed up for a class and I reckon having a sport I love will help me focus a bit better.

Thanks so much for everyone's kind words and encouragement.

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Hahaha! Speaking of refeeds, I'm looking to learn more on what I should be eating and how often, any tips?

What do you mean exactly by a refeed?

What kind of food do you eat as it is?

As regards how often or what way you should structure your eating, there is no right answer per se. The best way is the way that's easiest for you to follow without it being hardship. There are some great blogs on Danny Lennon's website (www.sigmanutrition.com) but it's own at the minute.

Fantasy_Suicide

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

What do you mean exactly by a refeed?

What kind of food do you eat as it is?

As regards how often or what way you should structure your eating, there is no right answer per se. The best way is the way that's easiest for you to follow without it being hardship. There are some great blogs on Danny Lennon's website (www.sigmanutrition.com) but it's own at the minute.

Well I've been at a deficit for three months now, eating 1200 per day. I learned pretty quickly that my metabolism will take a hit if I continue at that level for weeks on end. I guess I'm trying to figure out if it's okay to go out and have a burger and fries every once in a while. If so, how often is okay?

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Well I've been at a deficit for three months now, eating 1200 per day. I learned pretty quickly that my metabolism will take a hit if I continue at that level for weeks on end. I guess I'm trying to figure out if it's okay to go out and have a burger and fries every once in a while. If so, how often is okay?

Yes it most certainly is ok to go out for a burger and chips every once in a while. Helps raise the leptin levels too.

And it can be good for the soul.

I would think every week is ok. You're only talking about a burger and chips!

Fantasy_Suicide

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

You should be looking to bring that up slowly towards maintenance anyway.

But I think every week is ok.

So, is maintanance my calorie burn on a normal day or on a workout day? I've discussed this with friends and there's a real fear of increasing that calorie amount. What's the best way to approach it?

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

So, is maintanance my calorie burn on a normal day or on a workout day? I've discussed this with friends and there's a real fear of increasing that calorie amount. What's the best way to approach it?

The best way is to not to fear it. Seriously. Stressing is worse than overdoing it.

Your maintenance on a given day will be influenced by activity so if you're working out you'll need more.

But consider it in terms of a bigger picture rather than taking every day in isolation. You might go over by 120 kcals on a Monday but you might also go under by 120 kcals across the other 6 days of a week.

But it's not an exact science. Your body will tell you better than a calorie calculator.

LuckyLloyd

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Well I've been at a deficit for three months now, eating 1200 per day. I learned pretty quickly that my metabolism will take a hit if I continue at that level for weeks on end. I guess I'm trying to figure out if it's okay to go out and have a burger and fries every once in a while. If so, how often is okay?

If you're active; have energy for your daily activities; are sleeping well; like what's looking back at you in the mirror...it's not too often. Life is for the living, and that's why focussing on what your body can do and how it looks and feels is a million times better for long term progress than obsession over what the scales say or how many calories you're eating exactly.

Fantasy_Suicide

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

If you're active; have energy for your daily activities; are sleeping well; like what's looking back at you in the mirror...it's not too often. Life is for the living, and that's why focussing on what your body can do and how it looks and feels is a million times better for long term progress than obsession over what the scales say or how many calories you're eating exactly.

The voice of reason is right! I know this, but I just need to hear it every now and again. I've worked really hard to get this far, I worry it could all easily be undone.

Thanks so much for your advice!

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

The voice of reason is right! I know this, but I just need to hear it every now and again. I've worked really hard to get this far, I worry it could all easily be undone.

Thanks so much for your advice!

Stressing about it won't help matters.

It's fine having a rough idea of your calorie intake but it's not entirely necessary to get bogged down in the minutiae. It works for some people but you don't have to.

I don't have a huge amount of carbs - more by accident than design - but I'll have a bit more on days I'm training. I know by the feel of my clothes if I'm going up or down. I don't want to get into tracking or measuring success by the scales.If I fancy having a choccy biccy with a coffee in the evening, I'll have it and I won't have an alarm bell going off telling me that those 65 calories have me in a 50 kcal excess.

If you're eating healthily and doing some sort of exercise/training then you should be fine.

helliwen

I think that, when you're coming out of an ED, taking too structured an approach can be exactly what you don't need. ED's are all about your head controlling your appetite, which is pretty much what you're doing if you're tracking calories as well. It can be helpful to track/calculate if only to see how much you can/should actually be eating - I was so surprised when I saw how much food I could actually eat without seeing any change in my weight or body comp.
I don't track any more. I eat based on hunger/fullness cues. I weighed myself once in the past three months and that was only because I was curious about weight-classes for a powerlifting comp I'm thinking of doing. My clothes, my energy levels, my progress in the gym all show me if I'm eating enough. But all of that takes trust - you have to let go of the desire to track and control everything and trust that your body will "tell you what it needs" (I know that sounds really hippy dippy - sorry!)

@FantasySuicide - your posts really remind me of my own mindset. If you'd like to PM me, we could exchange a few more ideas.

Fantasy_Suicide

helliwen wrote: »

I think that, when you're coming out of an ED, taking too structured an approach can be exactly what you don't need. ED's are all about your head controlling your appetite, which is pretty much what you're doing if you're tracking calories as well. It can be helpful to track/calculate if only to see how much you can/should actually be eating - I was so surprised when I saw how much food I could actually eat without seeing any change in my weight or body comp.
I don't track any more. I eat based on hunger/fullness cues. I weighed myself once in the past three months and that was only because I was curious about weight-classes for a powerlifting comp I'm thinking of doing. My clothes, my energy levels, my progress in the gym all show me if I'm eating enough. But all of that takes trust - you have to let go of the desire to track and control everything and trust that your body will "tell you what it needs" (I know that sounds really hippy dippy - sorry!)

@FantasySuicide - your posts really remind me of my own mindset. If you'd like to PM me, we could exchange a few more ideas.

Thanks so much for that post, you're completely right. You'll know exactly how terrifying it is to give up that control then. I'm in that position at the moment, knowing I shouldn't try lose any more weight, but also being completely terrified that eating an extra 100kcal will make me put on a stone in weight. It's completely obsessive, as is my nature, so I'm struggling a bit to come to terms with it. I'll be heading to the US for two weeks next week so I'm in a bit of a panic with that too. I'm at the point now where it's possible I could end up going into a binge, so I'm trying to control that too.

Sorry for the rant, that just all kind of came out.

Alf Veedersane

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Thanks so much for that post, you're completely right. You'll know exactly how terrifying it is to give up that control then. I'm in that position at the moment, knowing I shouldn't try lose any more weight, but also being completely terrified that eating an extra 100kcal will make me put on a stone in weight. It's completely obsessive, as is my nature, so I'm struggling a bit to come to terms with it. I'll be heading to the US for two weeks next week so I'm in a bit of a panic with that too. I'm at the point now where it's possible I could end up going into a binge, so I'm trying to control that too.

Sorry for the rant, that just all kind of came out.

Flip it on its head and consider it this way: you choose what you eat or don't eat. It's you who's in control. The food doesn't control you.
It sounds a bit silly but I've been in something of a similar position - though it was to an event rather than a holiday. That subtle switch in mindset was empowering. I wasn't went with that mindset and it made a massive difference. When you cede control to the food, you feel powerless to resist urges to binge. Every mouthful of food you eat is eaten because you chose to eat it.

helliwen

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

I'll be heading to the US for two weeks next week so I'm in a bit of a panic with that too. I'm at the point now where it's possible I could end up going into a binge, so I'm trying to control that too.

Sorry for the rant, that just all kind of came out.

Nothing to apologise for! I think it's great that you can see what's going on. I used to find that controlling the urge to binge, or trying to fight against it, didn't really work in the long term. It was like using willpower to stick to something - after a while it would run out and something would tip me over the edge.

Things turned around for me when I got to the point where I was able to really look at things and say: "what's really going on here, will binging make it better or will it make me feel worse, is there something else I can do that will still take the edge off but might be more productive?" (for me the main emotion driving binges was anxiety. I would write out pro- and con-lists and would really consider binging as an option in the moment. Every time I decided not to binge, I felt stronger. When I used to just white-knuckle it and not admit to myself that the urge was there (because I was so afraid of it), it was only a matter of time until I gave in.

Now that I've started to address what was causing the anxiety, the urges have gone but at the time, feeling like I could get through it really helped - that I could feel the anxiety and, while it felt really crappy, come out the other side of it.

I hope this makes sense and is of some help!

Fantasy_Suicide

Thanks so much everyone! You've no idea how encouraging and supportive it is knowing there are people like you who won't judge me for my obsessive behaviours. Knowing I can say what's happening and have others say 'Hey, I know what this is like, this worked for me' really really helps. I find people in my life just get angry when I even try to talk about what's happening, so this is amazing.

househero

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Thanks so much for that post, you're completely right. You'll know exactly how terrifying it is to give up that control then. I'm in that position at the moment, knowing I shouldn't try lose any more weight, but also being completely terrified that eating an extra 100kcal will make me put on a stone in weight. It's completely obsessive, as is my nature, so I'm struggling a bit to come to terms with it. I'll be heading to the US for two weeks next week so I'm in a bit of a panic with that too. I'm at the point now where it's possible I could end up going into a binge, so I'm trying to control that too.

Sorry for the rant, that just all kind of came out.

If you are of child bearing age. Not getting enough fats might hurt things in the future. If you are cutting make sure you are eating a healthy diet.

When I have a week off, my gains the next months far outstrip the indulgences of the week before.

el27

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Well I've been at a deficit for three months now, eating 1200 per day. I learned pretty quickly that my metabolism will take a hit if I continue at that level for weeks on end. I guess I'm trying to figure out if it's okay to go out and have a burger and fries every once in a while. If so, how often is okay?

As someone the same height as you and currently slightly lighter, I couldn't cope with just 1200 cals day! Especially if you're exercising too. You must be wrecked or eating much more nutritious stuff than me (and I eat fairly well). Not sure what to suggest but the calorie intake did strike me as something that must be hard to sustain.

Fantasy_Suicide

el27 wrote: »

As someone the same height as you and currently slightly lighter, I couldn't cope with just 1200 cals day! Especially if you're exercising too. You must be wrecked or eating much more nutritious stuff than me (and I eat fairly well). Not sure what to suggest but the calorie intake did strike me as something that must be hard to sustain.

I'm eating pretty well and had been working on slimming down the last three months, hence the low calories. It's something I'm planning on revisiting once I come back from the states as I reckon staying low will stop the temptation to eat a lot of fast food.

It does seem like we're both looking to achieve the same thing, I read your thread, it's been helpful!

Dravokivich

Fantasy_Suicide wrote: »

Thanks so much for the resources. I know I need to leave the scales behind, but numbers motivate me to do better. I'll try measuring instead and I'll keep a photo log. Thanks so much!

If you want numbers to motivate you, plan out how you are going to increase your lifts. Use your achievements as motivation.

Fantasy_Suicide

Dravokivich wrote: »

If you want numbers to motivate you, plan out how you are going to increase your lifts. Use your achievements as motivation.

This is certainly something I've been doing along the way, I'll look to focus on that also. Thanks!