Care while pregnant versus postnatal care

mirrorwall14

Id just like to start a bit of discussion on the difference between the level of care while pregnant versus postnatal.

I had a rough enough pregnancy with I think six different hospitalisations in the Coombe not counting the three times a week check ups on BP in the last month. The care received (on public) was absolutely outstanding. I found them very reassuring, always erring on the side of caution and very on the ball. Midwifes and docs were happy to explain everything and I really found the experience wonderful. The ward staff were so friendly. The assessment unit and the perinatal centre were invaluable for someone who had complications.

Birth itself was again well managed and despite being a little terrifying the team were excellent. I was induced but it didn't work. However the night before a section I did go myself, at speed! Straight to full blown contractions 1.5-2 mins apart. It was horrendous tbh, I had no chance to get accustomed to them at all. Again however I found the midwives excellent. As I was on a ward they were going to give me pethodine. However 45 minutes on a trace they still couldn't get a good read. Doc arrived and I was transferred to l&d at <1cm so they could give me gas and air (which was useless!). I was on full fetal monitoring, first via straps, then head clip. They needed to blood test his head, then back on the head clip. Everything was explained and midwives and doc (who was in attendence for most of the labour) were encouraging yet firm when needed. Even though the heartrate wasn't good I was very reassured by them. After 45 mins they checked and realised I was ready to push. Baby was born with the chord around his neck, after 1st-3rd stage labour of only an hour.


However it was a whole different kettle of fish on the postnatal ward. TBH the staff seemed to be run absolutely ragged with no time to breathe. Luckily I had experience with a baby brother because it was very much a personal learning curve on everything from how/how much to actually feed (I was bottle feeding), changing diapers, winding etc. I honestly don't know how anyone without experience managed. I was disappointed to have the first bath done for me rather than me being supervised doing it. And my husband couldn't be there as they did it during the time when he was kicked out. As a teacher myself I just felt that there was no practical teaching given. I felt we were treated like potential bold children rather than tired, hormonal parents. It was so very different to the experience when pregnant. It was difficult to get medication on time, or to find staff members particularly at night-they seemed to be covering multiple rooms and run off their feet. Finally there was a ridiculous attitude and rules about silly things like the bed table, nothing allowed on it but the chart? For people with a section or trying to feed a baby why on earth can you not use the table? It makes absolutely no sense. You aren't allowed to use it to eat meals, even though on my ward there was only 4 chairs at the table and 6 beds on the ward so two of us had to wait to eat? We actually got a lecture one morning from a midwife while she had a student remove stuff from our tables. I was so glad I was getting out that morning. And the mealtimes are ridiculous for new mothers, particularly anyone breast feeding with no food between tea at 4 and breakfast at 8 the next morning. This is fine prenatal when nearly everyone is mobile and can run downstairs for a late coffee or to grab something from the shop but God help anyone who didn't want to leave their baby on the ward and had no one to go to the shop for them

Again I reiterate I feel a lot of this is down to understaffing! The silly rules are needed because staff are so busy they don't seem to have time to do anything, even something as simple as moving a bottle out of the way of the chart. I don't want this to be a 'bashing' thread, I'm just wondering is there a better way? What could be done to alleviate the pressure?

Or perhaps everyone else had a different experience to me and there's nothing needed to be changed?

nikpmup

Agree 1000%. While I was on the ward, they squeezed two extra beds into a 6-bed room in the middle of the night, 2 days post section I was given absolutely no pain relief for about 18 hours, not even paracetamol, because "someone had my chart" - I had to basically threaten to sign myself and the baby out before I was eventually given paracetamol (I was charted for difene) There was no lactation consultant available at all, so I was trying to breastfeed completely unaided - I had no idea what I was doing. I was the same with the bath, a midwife grabbed him and shoved him in a sink, even though I asked her to wait for my partner who hadn't arrived yet. And the food...... I've never been so hungry. A slice of brown bread and a tablespoon of rubbery scrambled eggs is not what I would call sustenance; especially when you're not getting fed again for about 16 hours.

RentDayBlues

I had my first baby in mount Carmel, my only complaint was a b***h of a lazy midwife who decided on my birth plan for me rather than listening to me. Post birth care was excellent , staff on hand to help with feeding, ensured I had adequate pain relief and food was fine

My second arrived 2 weeks after mount Carmel closed so I had the joy of moving to the coombe at that late stage. Both my consultant and the staff in the delivery wards were amazing. And had I been discharged as I was due to be 24hrs later I would have said, that wasn't too bad. But I wasn't as the baby needed treatmemt - my experience from then on was awful. No staff available at all. I couldn't get answers to my baby's condition, I had to be discharged before baby and was breastfeeding so was not leaving but they didn't seem to get this! The paediatrician was particularly rude, never explained what was happening and I had to insist on speaking to someone else to get information. Yes, they cared for my baby but I am an adult and her mother so don't talk down to me.

One of the worst examples was the so called "breastfeeding nurse" who came by on day 3. She didn't read my file or ask about the baby's condition but blindly proceeded to "help" me feed. I had fed my first for 16 moths so I most definitely didn't need or want her help which amounted to her man handling my breast and shoving the baby around, she never asked. The sheets were not changed for the 4 days I was there, so had to sleep in blood stains. Thankfully my consultant had given me a prescription so my husband filled that and brought it in. I won't be in any rush to go back

eviltwin

I have a gap of 12 yrs between my children. First baby was born in the late 90's and the care was excellent. I can't fault it at all. Second child is 5 and the care was awful. There were 9 women awaiting access to the labour ward so I was put back on the ward within half an hour of the birth. I'd had an episiotomy and they didn't even wait for me to be stitched. That happened in the ward. I was hoping to breastfeed but no one had time to show me and I was sent home the next day because they needed the bed. I don't blame the staff who were run off their feet. They did the best they could but it was a shambles and its made up my mind never to have a baby in Ireland again.

Supercell

We had two babies so far (third on the way). One in the Rotunda and the other in Holles street, both in the last three years.
I can say with certainty that my wifes experience is both was utterly different to described here. Yes in both hospitals the nurses were run off their feet but on both occasions my wife was very happy and for our third we decided on Holles street again just because its closer.
My abiding memory of the first was a lovely (Spanish i think) nurse showing my wife and I how wash the baby properly. We were terrified of breaking him! She got a box of chocs when we left!
In the Rotunda for our second the nurses also offered to show my wife how to bath and feed the baby but she didnt need to be shown obviously and they were happy to leave her and me to it.
It sounds like the staff in the Coombe are even more stretched than Holles street or the Rotunda, am kind of glad we are going back to Holles street hearing this.

seventeen sheep

This is an excellent thread.

I went public in Holles St.
My experience of prenatal care: AMAZING! There are probably few private patients who got better care than I did. Numerous scans, it was a given that I'd get a scan at every visit (and a printed photo.) I even got a 3D scan towards the end, with several of the most amazing photos, that you'd pay over €100 to get elsewhere. I can't wait to show him when he's older. I was always seen within a few minutes of arrival (I work near Holles St. I had 8am appointments, if I didn't have high blood pressure - which I sometimes did - I'd be in work way before my 9am start!)

My experience of the actual birth: I had to convince the administrator (who I don't believe was in any way medically qualified) that my waters had indeed broken, that there was meconium in them, and that I was having contractions. She condescendingly told me that she sees it all the time, where pregnant women pee in their pants and mistake it for their waters breaking. Eh no. Pee doesn't come from my vagina, and there's no poo in it! Christ! So I was waiting quite a while for her to hummmm and hawww and eventually refer me to the ward.

The birth itself - I can't even talk about. It was awful.

The aftercare was sparse. I was the woman in the 8th bed in a 6 bed ward.

Breastfeeding didn't work out - I had the best of intentions. I did get an appointment with a lactation consultant a couple of weeks later, but it was far too late. Baby ended up in Holles St ICU on his second day because of ridiculously low blood sugar - I don't know if this was because of delay in cutting the umbilical cord (the labels machine wasn't working) or because he basically wasn't fed for the first 24 hours (although I was assured the few drops were enough, they probably weren't) - I'll never know.

Also, my son was born with a big head of hair matted with blood. We were in hospital for four days, and every single day, I begged the nurses several times a day to show me how to wash his hair (I was that inexperienced that I couldn't attempt it myself, I was terrified of damaging the "soft spot".) They fobbed me off each time "Oh it's good for him" "We'll do it later" etc. Eventually I had to ask another mother (not a first time one) for help to do it. I know how silly that sounds. But, when I was asking nurses 8-10 times a day how to wash my baby, surely they should have shown me.

I absolutely cannot fault Hollles St for their prenatal care - it was first class. I remember at 8 months pregnant moving house (heavy lifting etc) and suddenly realising that baby hadn't moved in several hours - I was seen and scanned literally the minute I arrived there. (All was fine!)

They have a long way to go in postnatal care.

Having said that, would I go public again? YES. On my second child. When I know what to expect and what to do, when I know that it's fine to bathe a baby and their soft spot isn't THAT sensitive.

It's a tough call. No matter how wealthy I was (I wish!) I can't imagine ever sacrificing a couple of months creche fees to make a few days easier for me.

I'll be going public again next time. But will probably be more vocal when it comes to looking after my baby after the birth.

Sligo1

I went private in Holles St on both of mine. I found the postnatal care excellent. Except for the first night on my second when I was in a semi private ward which I found awful as the woman beside me was snoring her head off and I didn't sleep at all after the birth.

Once I was moved to the Merrion Wing, apart from a couple of old school nurses who I didn't find very nice the care was great. I felt they really supported my breastfeeding choice and really helped me on my first baby. They showed me how to latch my baby on and have me lots of encouragement. I ended up bfing my first for 5 months which I was pretty pleased with. The staff took my baby to the nursery for me for a few hours each night so I could sleep. As he was cluster feeding fr 10pm till 4am every night! And I just found them very good. I disn't need this on my second baby as the feeding came a lot more naturally.

On both births my consultant visited me everyday to make sure all was ok. And the midwifes were very efficient administering any pain relief I required and on time. I found the midwifes on the private ward very good and there didn't seem to be a shortage. Also if my baby needed any checks they were always done on time. And I was always fully informed on the what's and whys of the checks. The midwives also offered me full teaching advice on everything fr feeding to washing my baby. They gave me a great little tutorial on how to bath my baby and spent time again explaining what way to do it and why.The paediatrician who saw my 2 was also excellent and followed through with theor care until 6 week check if needed.

I developed mastitis 3 weeks after my second was born and had to be admitted, again the care was very good. I was given the option of bringing my baby in withe to stay the night beside me as I was breast feeding. Apart from the obvious not wanting to be in hospital I fpind the care fine.

Sligo1

seventeen sheep wrote: »

I can't imagine ever sacrificing a couple of months creche fees to make a few days easier for me.

Hmmm... This is not the main reason I chose to go private. It's only an added bonus.

Roesy

seventeen sheep wrote: »

It's a tough call. No matter how wealthy I was (I wish!) I can't imagine ever sacrificing a couple of months creche fees to make a few days easier for me.

The reason I chose private care was certainly not for an easier few days. It was
A) because I have a couple of underlying conditions that can make getting pregnant more difficult and would have qualified me for the high risk clinic a couple of years ago but don't now so I wanted the continuity of care.
b) because the care I received on the public system during my first, a miscarriage, was awful. I was probably unlucky but when I became pregnant again 4 months later it was still just too fresh in my mind.

Your antenatal care sounds amazing and it should be standard. Unfortunately it's not! In Cork on the public system only 2 scans are guaranteed and the anomaly isn't one of them. Some people get lucky and have mini scans at other appointments. Others don't. I had a detailed scan at one of my appointments that I wouldn't have been due at one of my third trimester appointments. It picked up a potential problem that could have been serious for me and the baby. Thankfully it remained stable and didn't cause any problems but I would have been symptomless with it until it did so the likelihood is that it wouldn't have been picked up.

My antenatal care was fantastic on my first and has been the same so far this time. Obviously if antenatal care was as consistent as you experienced I wouldn't feel the need to go private. Yes I got the private room first time and it was great but if I don't get in this time and end up in a two bed so be it. It's not about the room. It's about the continuity of care.

Hannibal Smith

I found the post natal care exactly the same in holles street. I was semi private, found them rushed off their feet, no one was listening to me, they just pidgeon holed me and carried on. I mean the doctors not the nurses. Most of the nurses were gems, but on both occasions it was very much the learning curve you Described.

I had high bp after both births. 2 emergency sections. The first time was grand, I understand they had to ease into the medication. But the second time it was day 5 post birth that they even started medicating. I gave out stink to a doc who then went in and took it out on the nurses. One of the nurses came out asking why in was reporting them! I explained it as the doctors I was giving out about and even got the girl in the bed beside me to back me up! Then when they started medicating it was one pill every time the bp spiked! I told them it was going to keep spiking and they needed to properly medicated so it would be controlled. Another doc came down, closed the curtain and was all 'why did you complain about me'!!

The final straw was when I heard the bed manager arguing with the nurse because I was taking up a bed in semi private when my insurance only paid for 5 days and there were others in the public ward who could have done with it. I went in and said it was simple... Just discharge me!

Anyhow day 10 post birth came and I said, discharge me or I'll do it myself. They discharged me at 8pm and I legged it!

I know it comes across like I was a head wrecker patient lol, but I honestly wasn't. It was a crappy environment to recover in and an even worse one if your issues were outside the norm.

Roesy

Sorry, hit reply before commenting on postnatal care. Mine was very good too. One midwife spent so long trying to help me breastfeed because the lactation consultant was away. She didn't have huge success but another came in and hurriedly showed me a sure fire way that the first had dismissed. Sure enough, that worked and from there on didn't need much help. Pain meds came on time. A midwife spent time showing us how to bath the baby. My sheets were changed regularly. Food was fairly awful in general but was expecting that so my husband was bringing me in salads and fruit and things. My only real complaint about my post natal care was the fact that they forgot to tell me about the post natal Physio class I was supposed to attend before being released.

My only prenatal complaint could have happened public or private I suppose and was partly to do with my innocence as a first timer and partly to do with the nervous first timer card being played by the midwife. I was induced and had my second gel at 12.30am. Was getting bad back pain and at around 4am the midwife more or less brushed me off and said gel pains can be awful and that labour could be another while off. I wasn't checked at that stage. Thought I'd be better truck on so and basically spent my time pacing, showering and bouncing on the ball and worrying about how painful labour was going to be when it finally started. My consultant arrived after 7 to see could my waters be broken. I was in agony at that stage(all back pain) but was nearly 7cm dilated. My baby arrived around an hour later. I was in delivery and pushing by the time my husband arrived. I suppose I should have been more vocal about the pain but the midwife seemed rushed and I was after getting such dire warnings about how awful induction was that I just assumed that the timeframe I was given would be accurate. I'll know next time!

bovril

I was in the Coombe after the birth of my baby in Nov 2014 and I had a very different experience to you OP. I had bp problems so was in for 9 nights in total. One before the birth and 8 after. I had an emergency c section. The before care was great but so too was the after care for me. I found the midwives fantastic except for two. They were run off their feet but they did a great job. They weren't always bang on time for pain relief but I used to keep an eye on my chart and ring the bell for them. I got shown how to bath my baby twice. I was asked every day if my bed needed changing. Ice water was regularly topped up. The meals were fine. Yes there is a big gap between dinner and breakfast. I had my own snacks for then. I was breastfeeding and most of the midwives were very supportive and knowledgeable.


@seventeen sheep - you mentioned your baby had low blood sugar. My baby had low blood sugar on the first night and that was down to the medication I was on for my bp. I was told this by the consultant and the baby doctor.

Sligo1

I think all this really comes down to staff to patient ratios tbh. I know know one is complaining about the midwives. Just the lack of care. But of course a patient and their baby are going to receive better and more holistic care the more staff that are on. A lot of time it really isn't the midwives fault as they can be pushed to the limit. Tbh, imo the system needs a complete overhaul.

Dolbert

Some of your experiences sound awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I went public in the Rotunda and found the prenatal care excellent and extremely thorough. They were quite cautious and when my blood pressure spiked at 38 weeks they made the call to keep me in and then to induce at 39 weeks.

The induction/birth experience was overall positive too, the staff were very attentive though I suspect there was a bit of a lull that weekend (I had the induction ward all to myself!) My labour became very intense very fast and that was responded to very well. There were a few concerns with me and baby during and after labour and the midwife and doctor were very reassuring.

Afterwards back on the ward, it was pretty noisy and a bit chaotic. The midwives were very attentive though and I got plenty of breastfeeding advice (though there were still one or two pushing the bottle). I was constantly being asked if I needed more pain meds, I find it horrendous that some of you were left without I'd go public in the Rotunda again in a heartbeat, the noisy ward was the only drawback but I really felt well looked after.

nikpmup

Sligo1 wrote: »

I think all this really comes down to staff to patient ratios tbh. I know know one is complaining about the midwives. Just the lack of care. But of course a patient and their baby are going to receive better and more holistic care the more staff that are on. A lot of time it really isn't the midwives fault as they can be pushed to the limit. Tbh, imo the system needs a complete overhaul.

Maybe so, but I think a lot of it is lackadaisical policies, or adherence to those policies. I work in healthcare, and while we are pushed to the limit staffing wise, we still have to provide a quality service. Some of what went on in the postnatal ward just absolutely shouldn't have happened - particularly the incidence of not receiving my medication. I was also on an antibiotic for a UTI (the UTI which caused me to go into labour) but I wasn't given it once. When I queried that nobody seemed to know anything about it, even though it was prescribed for me in the hospital and was right there on my chart. That simply wouldn't happen in my job, we'd be hung out to dry if someone in our care didn't receive prescribed meds as charted.

Sligo1

nikpmup wrote: »

Maybe so, but I think a lot of it is lackadaisical policies, or adherence to those policies. I work in healthcare, and while we are pushed to the limit staffing wise, we still have to provide a quality service. Some of what went on in the postnatal ward just absolutely shouldn't have happened - particularly the incidence of not receiving my medication. I was also on an antibiotic for a UTI (the UTI which caused me to go into labour) but I wasn't given it once. When I queried that nobody seemed to know anything about it, even though it was prescribed for me in the hospital and was right there on my chart. That simply wouldn't happen in my job, we'd be hung out to dry if someone in our care didn't receive prescribed meds as charted.

Ok well what happened with your antibiotics I would call negligence. It's not about lacksidaisy policies. Antibiotics and analgesia and all other meds are classed as a nursing/midwifery priority once prescribed and should (MUST) be given in adherence with prescribed times.

However, the majority (pretty much all) the complaints here are in regards to general care and education for mums/parents and their babies. And imo is probably mostly directly related to staff shortages.

mirrorwall14

Sorry just to clarify I did have to ask for my BP meds and painkillers every time too on post natal


It's good to see that there are mixed experiences. Maybe it can literally be attributed to staffing levels, like if someone had rang in sick on the days I was in then it would be very difficult to manage

Dolbert

I think staffing levels have a lot to do with it. I was in at an unusually quiet weekend.

lazygal

The postnatal care level was one of the main reasons I went private. I heard too many stories about the public system after the birth that I wanted to maximise my chances of getting a private bed. I ended up with sections and I couldn't have coped with a busy ward and breastfeeding after them. My private room and care were worth every single penny of the fees. I spent time on a public and semi private ward in Holles St and I wasn't happy, especially with the public ward. Ok the staff were busy but not every minute and not to the extent that they could use it as an excuse for certain elements of my treatment. If I have any more I'll go private because there was no comparison. I got daily visits from my consultant and post natal checks a few months afterwards. The public care of many friends left a lot to be desired in all of the Dublin units.

lazygal

nikpmup wrote: »

Maybe so, but I think a lot of it is lackadaisical policies, or adherence to those policies. I work in healthcare, and while we are pushed to the limit staffing wise, we still have to provide a quality service. Some of what went on in the postnatal ward just absolutely shouldn't have happened - particularly the incidence of not receiving my medication. I was also on an antibiotic for a UTI (the UTI which caused me to go into labour) but I wasn't given it once. When I queried that nobody seemed to know anything about it, even though it was prescribed for me in the hospital and was right there on my chart. That simply wouldn't happen in my job, we'd be hung out to dry if someone in our care didn't receive prescribed meds as charted.

Massive plus one. I'm allergic to a common pain med and had a tag on my wrist stating this. Every time someone came in they had the one I was allergic to in a cup. That's not staff under pressure, that's lax and sloppy practice.
I said it to my consultant and hopefully someone somewhere has been told to get their act together about things like that.

Neyite

I gave birth in a teaching hospital on the public system and I think that helped a lot. I found that the lapses in care were:

Not being given my post-section meds every 4 hrs. I had to hobble up to the nurses station and ask for them a few times. Now it may have been that they can't leave them by the bedside when you are away from the bed in case they get taken by someone else. I was in neonatal a lot breastfeeding, so I put it down to that.

I got lots of support from all the midwives when getting to grips with breastfeeding, I think many had direct personal experience of it which was great. The lactation consultant spent as much time with me as I needed.

A student midwife gave the ward the babywashing demo using my baby. I was relieved I didn't have to do the first one tbh. She supervised while the other mammies washed their babies. Again, lots of information, techniques shared.

The surgeons came around the day after the emcs to see if I had any questions for them that I may not have thought of in the heat of the moment.

It was the non-medical staff that I found to be an unpleasant experience.

The cleaner who constantly slammed the bin lid yards from where you were dozing and just whisked your curtain open without warning, when I was changing my underwear (and maternity towel) or breastfeeding, exposing me to the hordes of visitors. Hey, if the head consultant can manage to 'knock' then so can you, lady! The caterer that refused to leave my dinner for me to eat later when I'd to go feed baby in another ward. I think she thought I'd steal the plate or something? The nursing assistant who took my monkey bar two days post section because 'someone' needed it' eh, I needed it!

Overall my experience was very good. The medics were very busy, but I was happy that I got the information I needed over the 5 days i was in though I don't think that the women who got early discharge would get that.I was happy to get home from a noisy ward though, you'd assume it was the babies but actually it was visitors and non medical staff making the most noise that prevented you from getting rest.

ShaShaBear

I went public through Cavan and their MLU. Care was second to none - anyone I spoke to about my waiting times, treatment and general care were shocked. I never waited more than 5 minutes for an appointment, every midwife who took me for apps knew my name, had memorized my information from previous visits, and were very chatty and reassuring. They took me in without hesitation when I thought my waters were leaking and even offered me a cup of tea and a sit-down to calm my nerves while we were waiting on the test results. When I got my first sweep, the midwife gave me a pad from her own purse because I didn't have one on me! They did everything possible to get me to go into labour naturally before my induction date - even taking me into the MLU birthing suite on my last day to bounce on the birthing ball, go for a hot bath and have a good, brisk walk before a final sweep.

Unfortunately for me, I had to be induced. Waters were broken over on the consultant side (MLU couldn't deal with me then) by a rather rough and rude woman who would not let my partner be present until I refused to have my waters broke. After it was done they had me walk back to the ward and told my partner he would have to leave and would be called when my labour had progressed to 5mins between contractions. One of the MLU midwives saw me crying and intervened for me, explaining that this level of care was not what I was promised and that none of this was explained to me, and that drawing the curtains around my bed and letting my partner stay for my first ever labour was hardly going to kill anyone. Thankfully, they agreed. At 11am (3 hours after waters were broken), the entirety of my bowels gushed out of me, all over the bed, all over the floor on the way to the toilet, all over the floor of the bathroom and down the sides of the toilet. I hadn't had a single contraction up until this point, and had one every 2 minutes straight away. I was screaming in pain and fear, and a woman came in with a wheelchair to take me to the birthing room, where I was told to "Cop the *uck on, it's not that bad and your scaring the other women".

Got to the suite where I met the midwife and trainee midwife who would assist the birth. These two women need honorary halos, I swear! They got sponges and, with the help of my partner, cleaned all the wet poo off me, helped me change into another nightdress, and fetched tissue for my partner who was bawling crying at this stage. I was shown how to use the gas and air and they even fetched tea and toast for OH to have and me if I was fit (which I wasn't, as after the second contraction using gas and air, I pretty much lost myself). They spoke to me with utter kindness, telling me at 12.30pm "Alisha, lunch is ready from 1-2, do you like lamb? We'll get some for you!". Totally pointless, but had me focused on how much time had so quickly elapsed and got me thinking of responding and engaging with the room which was a great distraction. I started pushing at 12.45 where I was encouraged and supported to push as often as I felt like I could. I was gently helped move positions.

Then an absolute CRAB of a woman came in to see what was going on. She blindsided the other two, one of which was putting my hair in a bun so it wouldn't be all sweaty and messy for the pictures OH wanted to take :pac: . She told me I needed to "hurry up the pushing, or I'd be going for surgery". and tried to make me push in the most uncomfortable position imaginable. I told her exactly where to go (the only time I was anything other than polite) and she wasn't long leaving when the other two shot her a look. When I looked like I was going to tear, they had me stop pushing and let her come naturally, and they both applauded when I was done and gave me a hug!

Care after that was very, very mixed. I was allowed to stay on the labour ward and was given breakfast as I hadn't eaten since 5pm the previous day. When I was moved to the ward, a woman tried to take my baby off me MID-BREASTFEED because I needed a shower and was "staining the sheets". I learned after the first day and night to have my family smuggle in snacks as I literally starved trying to breastfeed every half hour with nothing but 2 small meals in me. There was a traveller in the bed across who had her entire family visit daily (we are talking between 10 and 14 people) and they usually stayed until 10 or 11pm (2 hours after my partner was forced to leave). A midwife confided that they were afraid to ask them to leave, which naturally terrified me. On the second day, a woman came to tell everyone on the ward that the water would be cut off henceforth until the following morning so that no-one could shower, brush their teeth or flush the toilets. We were not even offered bottled water to drink (I managed to get my MIL to take in a few litre bottles the previous day as I was not offered anything to drink or given any help walking to the water machine). I had no pain relief the two days and nights I stayed, and even though I was present for lunch on the third day, I was not allowed to have it because I was being let out an hour later.

Definitely hoping to stay with the MLU for my next baby!

Roesy

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I went public through Cavan and their MLU. Care was second to none - anyone I spoke to about my waiting times, treatment and general care were shocked. I never waited more than 5 minutes for an appointment, every midwife who took me for apps knew my name, had memorized my information from previous visits, and were very chatty and reassuring. They took me in without hesitation when I thought my waters were leaking and even offered me a cup of tea and a sit-down to calm my nerves while we were waiting on the test results. When I got my first sweep, the midwife gave me a pad from her own purse because I didn't have one on me! They did everything possible to get me to go into labour naturally before my induction date - even taking me into the MLU birthing suite on my last day to bounce on the birthing ball, go for a hot bath and have a good, brisk walk before a final sweep.

Unfortunately for me, I had to be induced. Waters were broken over on the consultant side (MLU couldn't deal with me then) by a rather rough and rude woman who would not let my partner be present until I refused to have my waters broke. After it was done they had me walk back to the ward and told my partner he would have to leave and would be called when my labour had progressed to 5mins between contractions. One of the MLU midwives saw me crying and intervened for me, explaining that this level of care was not what I was promised and that none of this was explained to me, and that drawing the curtains around my bed and letting my partner stay for my first ever labour was hardly going to kill anyone. Thankfully, they agreed. At 11am (3 hours after waters were broken), the entirety of my bowels gushed out of me, all over the bed, all over the floor on the way to the toilet, all over the floor of the bathroom and down the sides of the toilet. I hadn't had a single contraction up until this point, and had one every 2 minutes straight away. I was screaming in pain and fear, and a woman came in with a wheelchair to take me to the birthing room, where I was told to "Cop the *uck on, it's not that bad and your scaring the other women".

Got to the suite where I met the midwife and trainee midwife who would assist the birth. These two women need honorary halos, I swear! They got sponges and, with the help of my partner, cleaned all the wet poo off me, helped me change into another nightdress, and fetched tissue for my partner who was bawling crying at this stage. I was shown how to use the gas and air and they even fetched tea and toast for OH to have and me if I was fit (which I wasn't, as after the second contraction using gas and air, I pretty much lost myself). They spoke to me with utter kindness, telling me at 12.30pm "Alisha, lunch is ready from 1-2, do you like lamb? We'll get some for you!". Totally pointless, but had me focused on how much time had so quickly elapsed and got me thinking of responding and engaging with the room which was a great distraction. I started pushing at 12.45 where I was encouraged and supported to push as often as I felt like I could. I was gently helped move positions.

Then an absolute CRAB of a woman came in to see what was going on. She blindsided the other two, one of which was putting my hair in a bun so it wouldn't be all sweaty and messy for the pictures OH wanted to take :pac: . She told me I needed to "hurry up the pushing, or I'd be going for surgery". and tried to make me push in the most uncomfortable position imaginable. I told her exactly where to go (the only time I was anything other than polite) and she wasn't long leaving when the other two shot her a look. When I looked like I was going to tear, they had me stop pushing and let her come naturally, and they both applauded when I was done and gave me a hug!

Care after that was very, very mixed. I was allowed to stay on the labour ward and was given breakfast as I hadn't eaten since 5pm the previous day. When I was moved to the ward, a woman tried to take my baby off me MID-BREASTFEED because I needed a shower and was "staining the sheets". I learned after the first day and night to have my family smuggle in snacks as I literally starved trying to breastfeed every half hour with nothing but 2 small meals in me. There was a traveller in the bed across who had her entire family visit daily (we are talking between 10 and 14 people) and they usually stayed until 10 or 11pm (2 hours after my partner was forced to leave). A midwife confided that they were afraid to ask them to leave, which naturally terrified me. On the second day, a woman came to tell everyone on the ward that the water would be cut off henceforth until the following morning so that no-one could shower, brush their teeth or flush the toilets. We were not even offered bottled water to drink (I managed to get my MIL to take in a few litre bottles the previous day as I was not offered anything to drink or given any help walking to the water machine). I had no pain relief the two days and nights I stayed, and even though I was present for lunch on the third day, I was not allowed to have it because I was being let out an hour later.

Definitely hoping to stay with the MLU for my next baby!

Jesus! I really, really hope at the very least that you sent a letter of complaint. Some of what you described is absolutely appalling.

Hannibal Smith

Jees Shashabear!

RentDayBlues

Shashabear I really hoped you complained about that person who spoke to you so disgustingly. That cannot happen, what an absolute wagon.

theLuggage

Went private in the Coombe twice and found my pre and post care to be excellent.

On my first baby, they took her off to the baby room for a good number of hours for two nights even though they were swamped. I didn't ask, they just offered and took her off, even apologising when they brought her back! Felt wonderful to rest up for a few hours properly.

Breastfeeding advice was fine for me but I think if I had been determined to do it I wouldn't have been as happy with the support. But maybe they would have stepped that up if I'd been determined to do it, so hard to say on that one. I was happy anyway

Food was fine, had my own supplies too but I think that's a given with anyone in hospital anywhere. They follow their own routine and I definitely need extra supplies for snacks or hungry moments.

Pain meds were on time and correct, no problems there.

Second time round all same as above. The only issue I would have had was that I was booted out of the labour room because they needed it - fair enough. I was put on a ward in my bloody, sweaty clothes. Tea n toast was a bit slow coming and because I knew I wasn't staying on that ward (it was a pre labour ward I think) and I didn't know when I was going (kept saying any minute now), I couldn't clean or change. But once I was moved it was a good experience like the first time. No whisking this one off to baby room but there was no need for it anyway

cyning

I didnt have great experiences postnatally either to be honest, on either baby.

On my first I had a traveller woman who had her appendix out (she hadnt had a baby, and wasnt pregnant) in the bed across the way. There were over ten visitors around her bed, and members of a different family were up the corridor there was kids running riot, pulling back curtains etc: they eventually had to get security to clear the place and I was terrified with my little baba in her cot. I had to top her up because someone wrote her weight down wrong and she had lost over 10% of her weight. Breastfeeding help involved manhandling my boob to her mouth, and i had cracked, bleeding nipples before I ever left the hospital. The bathrooms were filthy, and the sanitary bins were full.

On my second there was a girl on our ward who lost control of her bowels after being given too many stool softeners. The midwives gave it a coursory clean up and it wasnt cleaned properly until nearly 16 hours later: which was very hard for that girl, who had no visitors that day and was struggling. ANd for the rest of us. I was put under massive massive pressure to let my daughter be taken to the "nursery" I was asked over 5 times that night, and every single time she was feeding. I shouldnt have needed to tell them thats how baby brings milk in. I was told to get back into bed when I was sitting in a chair. Also because I was breastfeeding they would only give me neurofen or paracetamol going home: seriously like there are breastfeeding friendly painkillers, and a maternity unit should know that. I didnt get a shower until I got home because they wouldnt let me go for one the afternoon I had her after passing some clots, and the following day I begged to go home.

The midwifes in general are ok, but some of them seriously need an attitude adjustment. My main midwifes were lovely both times, but some of the others werent.

I used the Your Service, Your Say to feed back my issues with the night midwifes, and got an apology. I think we need to complain more. Maternity units are underfunded and understaffed and the HSE need to be made aware of the problems.

theLuggage

cyning wrote: »

I used the Your Service, Your Say to feed back my issues with the night midwifes, and got an apology. I think we need to complain more. Maternity units are underfunded and understaffed and the HSE need to be made aware of the problems.

Definitely agree, if no one complains then there are "no" problems to be addressed.

seventeen sheep

Almost all of my newborn sized vests and babygros were taken by the Nigerian lady in the bed next to me. I didn't care about the clothes. I just was so upset that she'd been in my cubicle with my baby in those two minutes I'd left him to go to the loo. I genuinely had thought he'd be safe and ok, he was asleep at the time.

lily09

I gave birth two weeks ago in CUMH. My prenatal care was fantastic as I was public and high risk I was scanned at every appointment and monitored constantly. The birth was induced and the way I was treated was exemplery. The midwives were beyond amazing, the ladies from the induction suite even came up to see the baby after she was born.
Fortunatly my experience of post natal care was similar, as a first time clueless mother the midwives were constantly popping in checking on feeding and asking how I felt physically and emotionally. There are only 2 beds in the public ward.it was clear they were rushed off their feet but I never was made to feel stupid for asking what I know were pretty stupid questions..
Food was disgusting though!!

Millem

Oh god these stories are scaring me!! I did domino in holles st so only stayed a few hours.

How Strange

I was public in the coombe on both of mine and both times the coombe was relatively quiet. On my first, they wouldn't allow my husband to be with me until I was 5cm and brought to the delivery room. That was quite distressing and the evening midwife on the ward was a total cold fish. The midwives during my labour were angels and I think it was because of that I had such a good experience. The care after was mixed. Some of the midwives went mental if you had the baby in the bed beside you and others actively encouraged it. I got quite a lot of breastfeeding support with one African midwife going above and beyond to help breastfeeding mothers. There were 8 beds in a 6 bed ward. Second time i was in labour when I arrived and my daughter was born 2hrs later. The senior midwife was a bit of a weapon but the junior one was lovely. I was put on a 4 bed ward with 2 other women but I insisted on going home within 24hours as I just wanted my own bed.

Both times I had a really modern delivery room so I had a shower straight after and was allowed stay there for hours having tea and toast.

Gee_G

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I went public through Cavan and their MLU. Care was second to none - anyone I spoke to about my waiting times, treatment and general care were shocked. I never waited more than 5 minutes for an appointment, every midwife who took me for apps knew my name, had memorized my information from previous visits, and were very chatty and reassuring. They took me in without hesitation when I thought my waters were leaking and even offered me a cup of tea and a sit-down to calm my nerves while we were waiting on the test results. When I got my first sweep, the midwife gave me a pad from her own purse because I didn't have one on me! They did everything possible to get me to go into labour naturally before my induction date - even taking me into the MLU birthing suite on my last day to bounce on the birthing ball, go for a hot bath and have a good, brisk walk before a final sweep.

Unfortunately for me, I had to be induced. Waters were broken over on the consultant side (MLU couldn't deal with me then) by a rather rough and rude woman who would not let my partner be present until I refused to have my waters broke. After it was done they had me walk back to the ward and told my partner he would have to leave and would be called when my labour had progressed to 5mins between contractions. One of the MLU midwives saw me crying and intervened for me, explaining that this level of care was not what I was promised and that none of this was explained to me, and that drawing the curtains around my bed and letting my partner stay for my first ever labour was hardly going to kill anyone. Thankfully, they agreed. At 11am (3 hours after waters were broken), the entirety of my bowels gushed out of me, all over the bed, all over the floor on the way to the toilet, all over the floor of the bathroom and down the sides of the toilet. I hadn't had a single contraction up until this point, and had one every 2 minutes straight away. I was screaming in pain and fear, and a woman came in with a wheelchair to take me to the birthing room, where I was told to "Cop the *uck on, it's not that bad and your scaring the other women".

Got to the suite where I met the midwife and trainee midwife who would assist the birth. These two women need honorary halos, I swear! They got sponges and, with the help of my partner, cleaned all the wet poo off me, helped me change into another nightdress, and fetched tissue for my partner who was bawling crying at this stage. I was shown how to use the gas and air and they even fetched tea and toast for OH to have and me if I was fit (which I wasn't, as after the second contraction using gas and air, I pretty much lost myself). They spoke to me with utter kindness, telling me at 12.30pm "Alisha, lunch is ready from 1-2, do you like lamb? We'll get some for you!". Totally pointless, but had me focused on how much time had so quickly elapsed and got me thinking of responding and engaging with the room which was a great distraction. I started pushing at 12.45 where I was encouraged and supported to push as often as I felt like I could. I was gently helped move positions.

Then an absolute CRAB of a woman came in to see what was going on. She blindsided the other two, one of which was putting my hair in a bun so it wouldn't be all sweaty and messy for the pictures OH wanted to take :pac: . She told me I needed to "hurry up the pushing, or I'd be going for surgery". and tried to make me push in the most uncomfortable position imaginable. I told her exactly where to go (the only time I was anything other than polite) and she wasn't long leaving when the other two shot her a look. When I looked like I was going to tear, they had me stop pushing and let her come naturally, and they both applauded when I was done and gave me a hug!

Care after that was very, very mixed. I was allowed to stay on the labour ward and was given breakfast as I hadn't eaten since 5pm the previous day. When I was moved to the ward, a woman tried to take my baby off me MID-BREASTFEED because I needed a shower and was "staining the sheets". I learned after the first day and night to have my family smuggle in snacks as I literally starved trying to breastfeed every half hour with nothing but 2 small meals in me. There was a traveller in the bed across who had her entire family visit daily (we are talking between 10 and 14 people) and they usually stayed until 10 or 11pm (2 hours after my partner was forced to leave). A midwife confided that they were afraid to ask them to leave, which naturally terrified me. On the second day, a woman came to tell everyone on the ward that the water would be cut off henceforth until the following morning so that no-one could shower, brush their teeth or flush the toilets. We were not even offered bottled water to drink (I managed to get my MIL to take in a few litre bottles the previous day as I was not offered anything to drink or given any help walking to the water machine). I had no pain relief the two days and nights I stayed, and even though I was present for lunch on the third day, I was not allowed to have it because I was being let out an hour later.

Definitely hoping to stay with the MLU for my next baby!

Oh my god, that's sounds just awful!! You poor thing. It should be made as easy and comfortable as possible!
I had my little man in Cavan nearly 3 years ago and I genuinely could not fault them and I was not with the mlu. I would be fairly confident in saying that I know the woman you're talking about that came in during labour though saying hurry up! It really does just take a few bad eggs doesn't it!!

cruais

Gosh, some of the experiences sound horrible!

I have booked to go private in Holles Street, hoping it all goes ok

ShaShaBear

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

Jees Shashabear!

When I write it down it seems worse than I remember! Hoping to be pregnant again soon so pray I don't have to get induced and can avoid that ordeal again! I think the joy of being a new mother masked a lot of my concerns of treatment but I was informed by my sister, a student midwife, that there was a lot more available to me than was offered.

pwurple

lily09 wrote: »

I gave birth two weeks ago in CUMH. My prenatal care was fantastic as I was public and high risk I was scanned at every appointment and monitored constantly. The birth was induced and the way I was treated was exemplery. The midwives were beyond amazing, the ladies from the induction suite even came up to see the baby after she was born.
Fortunatly my experience of post natal care was similar, as a first time clueless mother the midwives were constantly popping in checking on feeding and asking how I felt physically and emotionally. There are only 2 beds in the public ward.it was clear they were rushed off their feet but I never was made to feel stupid for asking what I know were pretty stupid questions..
Food was disgusting though!!

Both of my births were CUMH as well, and they were just fantastic for the births. Really helpful, listened to me, very caring.

The postnatal on the first baby was awful. Just awful. The facilities are great in CUMH, I was in a room with one other person, but the staff on floor 2 (4 years ago now) were just really unpleasant and downright rude to us. Pain meds had to be fought for, and my baby was really struggling with a blocked nose, so I asked for a bit of saline to clear it. I asked every time I saw a staff member, so maybe 12 or 13 times. I went for a shower when the baby went for a sleep, and came out to find a midwife hunching over the baby. I got such a fright! I asked her what was wrong, what was happening, was the baby ok, why was she there? She said. 'oh for gods sake it's the saline you asked for yesterday'. I mean come on... who goes poking at someone's baby when the baby is asleep, and the mother isn't even there! Food was awful, and I had picked up an infection and ended up being in for 7 days, found it very hard to move or clean myself. Now in fairness, the nursery nurse took the baby to the nursery for a few hours for me two of the nights because I found it very hard to pick her up with the infection. The lactation consultant Also saw me once a day, which was great, but anytime I asked for help with bfing outside of that I was told someone would be back in a minute, and they never showed up.

Baby two was completely different experience. Birth and prenatal all great again. postnatal I asked what floor I was going to, and the midwives in the labour ward said, "Oh don't worry, it's floor 3, the nice one." Floor three WAS much nicer. Lovely older women working on it. Were real dotes, couldn't do enough for us. Now, it was a two bed room again, and there was a woman in the bed beside me who I think was going into full blown PND and was alternating between bawling crying and roaring abuse, but that wasn't the hospitals fault.

ShaShaBear

Gee_G wrote: »

Oh my god, that's sounds just awful!! You poor thing. It should be made as easy and comfortable as possible!
I had my little man in Cavan nearly 3 years ago and I genuinely could not fault them and I was not with the mlu. I would be fairly confident in saying that I know the woman you're talking about that came in during labour though saying hurry up! It really does just take a few bad eggs doesn't it!!

There were a few people there I could not fault either - the midwives that dealt with my labour and the one who kept coming to me at night. She helped me with feeding even though she was not the lactation consultant (who was yet another aggressive boob man-handler!) and even let me feed asleep in the bed while she did her paperwork at the desk that was beside my bed so I could get some shut-eye and keep baby fed. Three of the MLU midwives came to visit me before I left and made sure I was comfy and not feeling too down or anything. They all made me promise I'd have another with the MLU because they couldn't believe I had such a short labour on just gas :pac:

The problem was that the nasty people were extra, extra nasty which marred the whole experience!

catchery

Im so sorry to hear all these stories from people who have had bad experiences and yes we should make complaints. But to be honest i didnt have the energy and wanted to completely forget and move on and enjoy my beautiful baby. It wasn't until my second pregnancy a year and a half later that i told my new midwife what had happened. My second experience was completely different even though i used the same system. I think it does have to do with pressure on staff but it also has to do with the nature of a person and some people should not work in a caring environment.
My husband forgot the famous file which he left at home , i went with the Domino midwifes, so the midwife was on her way to the hospital when we got there we dealt with one nurse there was nobody waiting we were the only people in the ward and she sent my husband home for the file. She treated me like an animal with no compassion, i could not speak with labour pain it was so strong, she was aggressive and rough with me and i kept trying to tell her i needed to go to the toilet while she was placing the straps on to monitor the baby heartbeat. She then screamed to not sit on bed before she put down the tissue or she would have to clean up my
s...t afterwards. She sat down after telling me i had to luy down to monitor the baby first. She sat behind a curtain and all i could see were her feet raised on a chair and hear her flicking pages in a magazine. I kept begging to use the toilet as my waters had broken and she ignored me , eventually she stood up and as she was walking out of the room she shouted go to the f...ing toilet then. I could not get the staps off as she had tied them at the back and i was alone for what felt like an hour, eventually two student doctors in scrubs passed by and came in to find me dragging the monitor to the toilet with me. They were laughing at me and untied the straps i locked myself in the toilet and would not open the door until my husband returned. I arrived at the hospital at 5.20 we live very close to the hospital so my husband was only gone maybe 15-20 mins, when he returned and i was then seen by my midwife i was 9 cent already. I had a very difficult labour and my aftercare was also horrific. I was refused painkillers during the night and told i was a Dominos patient so we arent good enough for you so wait till you see your midwife in the morning. The toilet in the ward was broken and i had to shuffle down a corridor to use another one. I asked to go home the next day against advice to stay by my midwife because of the amount of stitches i received. I was then put into a storage room with my baby and all my belongings thrown in a plastic bag. I was in mid feed- b/feeding when i was ushered out the ward. My bed was needed, my husband returned not knowing where i was and spent 20mins trying to locate me. I was soiled with blood and had to walk down a corridor with slippers full of blood, to change as nobody had come near me. I was offered trauma counselling by the dominos due to my difficult birth, which was a forceps delivery with an episiotomy. The aftercare with the dominos was fantastic for two weeks i had visits everyday. That is why i went back to them on my second.
I know there are people who would say well i wouldnt put up with that you were a fool. Unless you experience this i feel you cannot understand how utterly vulnerable you are and how delicate you feel after a difficult labour and during it.
All i thought of later was a young girl on her own having to deal with all of this type of behaviour and having nobody with her.
As i said i had a totally different experience on my second and the hospital staff were just lovely i was treated very very well .
Sorry that is so long i did not intend on sharing that at all at the beginning of the post. My poor husband still blames himself for forgetting the file and leaving me with that excuse of a human being.

Sligo1

Catchery, I'm actually finding it hard to believe you were treated in such a way! This is gross misconduct and nobody should be treated like this! I know a lot of people will say they don't complain as they want to forget the experience or are too tired or just want to enjoy their baby etc etc. which is a fair point. But not when the treatment is as bad as you received!!! Did you ever complain?!

As I said, what you've described sounds horrific and this midwife needs to be disciplined! I don't mean to sound OTT but what you've described sounds like the equivalent of what went on with those poor people in the prime time nursing homes etc... But only this is a different setting. The midwife needs to be disciplined and you need an apology. She should not be allowed to treat other poor individuals in this way. I'm actually finding it hard to believe tbh.... Horrific.

bobskii

had only one bad experience in cavan and that was with a nurse from special care who told me (at 8 in the evening) that I could get dressed and that I wouldn't be allowed back in to see my baby till 8 the next morning.
then next morning I was up and dressed only to be told by another nurse to put on my pj's and relax,she went off got me tea and brought my baby back to me . so it really depends on the nature of the person I think.
otherwise can't fault cavan I had a gem of a midwife and all the nurses were lovely, apart from that crabbit witch!

Hannibal Smith

Catchery, fair play for being able to type all that. It sounds like a total nightmare. Even if you copy and paste this post it has got to be shared with the hospital.

My mother in law encouraged me to make a complaint after my second, but I never did. And my experience was first class compared to yours. You're so wrecked after. Its not as if you've had an operation and you get a chance to recuperate. Youve a baby at the end of the day with colic and feeds and nappies.

Some of the stories in here are reminding me of the childcare primetime and the elderly home abuses. Its people who are in the wrong job with no decency or respect for people in their care and they end up giving the good nurses and midwives a bad name. And again its people at their most vulnerable who are the targets.

catchery

It was very difficult to write what i wrote and i had no intention of doing that when i started the post . I know ! it annoys me that i didnt follow it up straight away but i had other priorities my baby needed xrays done 4 weeks after the birth due to the forceps delivery. I had a very difficult recovery. I honestly did not have the strength to do it. It took 9 months to recover and get back to normal as they say. But i did complain when i returned on my second pregnancy but i didnt make a formal complaint, which i do regret. This was 7 years ago ! I am now blessed to be pregnant again and i am having an elective section this time around so another new experience.
My husband and myself are quiet enough people but after the first birth we changed and now have our guard up on all hospital visits. We are also recording everones name that we deal with. I was treated with care and understanding on all my pre-natal visits , so it was just completely shocking to be treated this way when i was at my most vulnerable.
When i did complain on my second i told the midwife that i believe that nurse caused me to go into shock and i blame her for my difficult birth. I focused on hypnobirthing for my second birth and i had a completely natural birth but due to the complications from the first birth and the size of my babies i was advised to get a section this time.
I understand how angry it makes every woman to read someone elses bad experience and how frustrating it is and if only they had done this or that. Believe me i have gone over it in my mind. I coped with it as best i could. I wanted happy memories of my first baby so i pushed it aside maybe that was wrong but it was what i had to do.
The only advice i can give to everyone is to record the names of everyone you deal with ask them their names.

Mamamaisy

I had my first in a regional hospital 5 months ago. It is only recently that I can even talk about my experience in the post natal ward without breaking down.

The birth itself was fine and my midwife was amazing, so encouraging, kind and patient.

After the birth, not having slept in 36 hours, in a lot of pain having had an extremely bad 3rd degree tear, I was left alone (as alone as you can get on a ward) with a tiny baby as my husband had to leave.

This might sound silly to some people but I didn't even know how to change a nappy, I was completely clueless about babies and was terrified.

No one came near me to help me to breastfeed or help me in any way. I felt so scared and vulnerable and alone and got myself into a bit if a tizzy while my baby cried and cried. In floods of tears and carrying my screaming child I went to find a midwife and begged a group of them sitting behind the main desk to please help me. One of them stood up and told me curtly to get back to bed, they were busy at the moment, that someone would be down to me shortly. A very long hour later she came down to me and threw some bottles on my bed table (I was trying to breastfeed not that she even asked). She spoke to me in a very patronising way and made me feel like about a foot tall, tutting disapprovingly that there were other mothers trying to sleep and I should get it together and stop my baby from crying. I felt so stupid and inadequate.

The breastfeeding didn't last last day one as 1) I got very little support apart from a midwife slamming my boob and baby's head together on the few occasions I asked and 2) my baby cried a lot and I was afraid of keeping other mothers awake when she screamed with hunger while I struggled to feed (after my lecture the first night).

Don't get me wrong, I met some wonderful, lovely midwifes who were very kind although rushed off their feet but a couple of women who were clearly in the wrong job not having an ounce of empathy ruined the whole experience.

When I look back now I wonder why I didn't stand up for myself and but having gone through the biggest and most traumatic life event I was a shell of myself.

Yeah there were other issues such as dirty toilets, overflowing sanitary bins, terrible food, not getting my medication or painkillers when I should have, if at all. But to me these are all secondary to the fact that I was treated with a total lack of respect and dignity at a time when I was scared and vulnerable.

Also I think that all new mothers should be allowed to have a partner or someone stay with them for as long as they need after visiting hours to help take care of baby and allow them a couple of hours sleep.

Neyite

Some of these stories are shocking. And we are predominately able-bodied, can think for ourselves, informed, can communicate, can complain, can kick up a stink.

I really shudder to think what patients who are bedridden, mute, and with complicated medical issues have to go through on the other wards in these hospitals.:(

Here are the links to the relevant HSE complaints webpage.

lazygal

I'm not one bit surprised reading these stories. I met a few biddies in Holles St, including the one in charge of the antenatal classes. She was really dismissive of a young woman asking about birth plans. I knew on my first that I was facing into an almost certain c section but when I asked about this, she waved me away, telling me not to be negative and that I shouldn't be getting worried about having a section because the baby would move position. Something like 20% of women giving birth there have a section so its not on to avoid the subject completly.
I did find second time around me and my husband didn't put up with any nonsense. I'm sure the akward nurses thought I was a pain telling them about my allergies (which were in big block writing in the folder) but I didn't care what they thought of me, once they were treating me properly. There's also one consultant who I will never let near me again if I have more, and I'll be putting that in writing in the famous folder.

lazygal

Neyite wrote: »

Some of these stories are shocking. And we are predominately able-bodied, can think for ourselves, informed, can communicate, can complain, can kick up a stink.

I really shudder to think what patients who are bedridden, mute, and with complicated medical issues have to go through on the other wards in these hospitals.:(

Here are the links to the relevant HSE complaints webpage.

It's no different to the Aras Attracta scandal in my eyes. Those staff weren't rushed off their feet and the place didn't look to be starved of resources. They just couldn't be arsed remembering they were supposed to be in a caring profession. Same with some of the nurses and midwives and one doctor I encountered. The attitude some of them had was nothing to do with being under pressure-I think they'd still be rude and dismissive and patronising if they were overrun with extra staff.

catchery

Mamamaisy firstly well done for writing that out. I could not have done that after 5 months so well done. Im so sorry to hear what happened to you and i hope you are recovering well and your baby is thriving. Even with experience of minding babies it is completely different when attending to a newborn baby that is your own. You are exhausted and anxious after the labour and birth and it is very emotional. The responsibility of a new baby does not hit you until you are alone with your newborn no matter how prepared you are!
You were treated terribly by those nurses and all you were asking for was some help. Listening to my mother speak about how well they were treated years ago , kept in hospital for a week with proper rest and babies brought in for feeds and then taken back to baby ward so the mother could rest during the night. Proper meals and focus on recovery and excercise . It sounds like we have gone backwards really. My mother was shocked and angered at how mothers were being treated now.
You were vulnerable and they ignored you what is wrong with these people ? I dont understand it at all. Whats worse is they are women and probably mothers too. Im very sorry you had to go through that . Sounds like you were in the same ward i was in and those people were there when i was. I was in Waterford Regional.

Ms2011

My aftercare in the Coombe in 2012 was not 100 percent & there were certainly some black spots & horrible staff but I am shocked reading some of the experiences posters here had.
I wouldn't be backwards about coming forwards when it comes to sticking up for myself in daily life but as soon as I was in hospital having my baby my mentality turned into that of a vulnerable child. It's easy to say you'd do XY or Z but in reality you're so tired & overwhelmed you allow yourself to be treated in a way you would never ordinarily & for those whose jobs it is to give you & you baby the best start together it's disgusting to hear how they've treated some of their patients :mad:

ShaShaBear

My partner complained for me as I left the hospital - it was not well received. The woman did look sympathetic and simply said "Some of these women have kids at home they barely get to see because Summer is our busiest time of the year with babies". She cracked a joke about sex saving heating costs in the Winter and walked away from us. Without any names, or time frames, I didn't think that a complaint to anyone in power would be of any addition to me.

BUT I am trying to get pregnant again, and I am a stickler for remembering faces, and these people will be called up on their behaviour if I have the misfortune of seeing them again. Funny, no-one told me of the myriad of rights I have while in the hospital. When my sister did her first placement in Cavan recently, things she told me actually made me upset. I didn't know I was entitled to extra small meals for breastfeeding (tea and toast and pieces of fruit), I didn't know that I could request a hospital pump if I had bottles with me to be able to sleep while my partner or visitors fed the baby at visiting times, I did not know a bath was available if I was unfit to stand in the shower, I didn't even know I was allowed to ask for extra bloody pillows (there were marks from the bars of the back of the bed from me trying to feed propped up with one pillow).
Next time, I'll be their worst nightmare :pac:

Mamamaisy

Thanks Catchery. It's like a release to write it down isn't it? Your own experience sounded absolutely horrendous and I am also sorry you went through that.

I was actually in the west of the country but that goes to show these issues are widespread.

I think that unfortunately, as in every walk of life, there will always be people in caring professions who patently should not be there.

My public health nurse actually tried to persuade me to complain shortly afterwards but I didn't because 1) like you I wanted to put it behind me and focus on my lovely new baby and 2) at the time I was still feeling anxious and lacking in confidence and was convinced a lot of what had happened was down to my own inadequacy as a mother!

Believe it or not it looks like I will be back there again by the end of this year and I'm sure it will be very different second time around but only because I know what to expect and think I will have the confidence to demand respect.

pwurple

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Next time, I'll be their worst nightmare :pac:

Good!

This is the thing, the midwives and nurses are in the hospital day in day out... everything is so obvious and mundane to them, and why are we bothering with silly questions like when is some food going to be arriving. But us, and especially as first time mothers, it's all so new. We've no idea how the system is supposed to work. You can read everything in the world about pregnancy and birth, bazillions of books and websites, and even on to caring for a newborn, but the information provided on postnatal recovery for women is not as easy to come by. I wasn't even told on first baby what way I had torn, what way to manage that injury, etc.

I was well prepared on second baby, and got them to draw me a diagram before any stitches started. And even though I had a 3rd degree tear I got myself out of there 24 hours after the birth. This is the advantage I see with a home birth... the postnatal recovery is much easier when you have your family around. Food and drink when you want. If I could do it any way at all, I'd be in the hospital for the available expertise in case of problems during the birth, and head straight home afterwards for a rest.

Having to figure out all the various systems in a hospital, shortly after having gone through labour... possibly either having had abdominal surgery or some other injury, running on no food and totally exhausted, and been given the entire responsibility of looking after a new baby on your own, while your only support is kicked out, is a big ask.