Man wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN

Mr.McLovin

Married TV actor wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN after he is drugged in Russian bar by attractive blonde working for organ traffickers

Dmitry Nikolaev was approached by a young woman in a bar in Moscow

The 30-year-old enjoyed a drink and a sauna with her before he blacked out

Woke the next morning in a bus stop in acute pain and covered in blood

Rushed to hospital where he was told that his testicles had been removed

Police believe he was spiked and procedure was carried out in 'skilfully'

They fear that his testicles were removed by a gang selling organs on the black market

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2969992/Married-TV-actor-wakes-testicles-STOLEN-drugged-Russian-bar-attractive-blonde-working-organ-traffickers.html

I didn't think this was possible, can you really transplant other peoples nuts?

Tombi!

why would you do that?

El Weirdo

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2969992/Married-TV-actor-wakes-testicles-STOLEN-drugged-Russian-bar-attractive-blonde-working-organ-traffickers.html

I didn't think this was possible, can you really transplant other peoples nuts?

Bollocks.

mad muffin

They now hang on Putins wall of testicles.

mikom

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2969992/Married-TV-actor-wakes-testicles-STOLEN-drugged-Russian-bar-attractive-blonde-working-organ-traffickers.html

I didn't think this was possible, can you really transplant other peoples nuts?

"Delivery for Enda Kenny.......... Enda Kenny, your balls have arrived".

osarusan

Story is nuts.

StormWarrior

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

Zombienosh

Jaysus....this 50 shades of grey thing is getting out of hand

Custardpi

This sounds like that old story which did the rounds in various newspapers & websites years ago about the holiday maker in the States who wakes up in a bath of ice & finds that his kidneys have been removed & sold by the medical students he met the night before.

kylith

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

For the testosterone maybe?

Amateurs, everyone knows bone marrow is the most valuable part of a person. It's about 4% of your body mass & sells for about $20K a gram.

mad muffin

Zombienosh wrote: »

Jaysus....this 50 shades of grey thing is getting out of hand

Thanks for the major spoiler! :mad:

Custardpi

Deleted User wrote: »

Amateurs, everyone knows bone marrow is the most valuable part of a person. It's about 4% of your body mass & sells for about $20K a gram.

Interesting. Would you happen to know where buyers might be found, if one had *ahem* acquired a supply of the product?

Custardpi

Custardpi wrote: »

Interesting. Would you happen to know where buyers might be found, if one had *ahem* acquired a supply of the product?

Haha I'm sure somene must have replaced silk road by now. I just done the math. Supposedly there's $68,800,000 worth of bone marrow in my body plus all my other sell able organs.

SpaceTime

Doesn't make sense as "stolen" but rather as some kind of psycho mutilating a guy for some strange reason.

They're not transplanted nor are they in demand.

force eleven

That will make a vas deferens to his love life going forward.

CJ Haughey

Most likely eaten, they are a delicacy to some.

Dravokivich

CJ Haughey wrote: »

Most likely eaten, they are a delicacy to some.

Cannibals perhaps?

Aglomerado

Go-nads, Go!

mad muffin

I wonder if his wife ordered the seizure after being humiliated one too many times by his cheating. She's probably stroking them as I type.

And I love how the censor his face but give his full name, and he's a public figure.

Mr.McLovin

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

for an erection

although somebody must have stolen another guys balls...

Gummy Panda

kylith wrote: »

For the testosterone maybe?

It would be easier to inject test

whiskeyman

They've arrested the known Russian testicle kleptomaniac, Mr. Whodyarobabollickov







Surprised this wasn't posted.... and it's post 23?
Shame on you AH!!

Lingua Franca

It's absolutely true because you read it in the Daily Mail.

kylith

Gummy Panda wrote: »

It would be easier to inject test

Yeah, but it was the only reason I could think of that someone might want someone else's testicles, to implant for the continuous release of testosterone. The only other reason I can think why you'd amputate someone's balls is shts and giggles.

Grayson

I heard a story, probably an urban legend, about a guy who became infertile and got a testicle transplant from his father. he and his wife managed to conceive.

The Backwards Man

Grayson wrote: »

I heard a story, probably an urban legend, about a guy who became infertile and got a testicle transplant from his father. he and his wife managed to conceive.

It's not a totally inconceivable story then?

DeadHand

Grayson wrote: »

I heard a story, probably an urban legend, about a guy who became infertile and got a testicle transplant from his father. he and his wife managed to conceive.

A cheaper and more direct alternative would've been to let the father ride her.

The_Valeyard

Theory:

Married /gf


He cheated. She found out. Hired out balls remover/assassin

Grayson

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Theory:

Married /gf


He cheated. She found out. Hired out balls remover/assassin

what was that americans name? The one who had them chopped off and became a porn start for a short time

DeadHand

Grayson wrote: »

what was that americans name? The one who had them chopped off and became a porn start for a short time

Ivan Bollikoff.

Joe prim

whiskeyman wrote: »

They've arrested the known Russian testicle kleptomaniac, Mr. Whodyarobabollickov







Surprised this wasn't posted.... and it's post 23?
Shame on you AH!!

Surely, IIRC from my schooldays, the great Russian castrator was Ivan Nackanickinbolzov?
Clearly, though, this is not just a jocular urban legend thingy, but a true part of Slavic culture,like vodka binges and balalaikas?

Seamus1964

What's the point of TV actor face to be blurred ? He is a TV actor ! Somebody must've seen his face on TV..

Calibos

Probably put his dick in a Russian Mafia Bosses Wife.

Grayson

DeadHand wrote: »

Ivan Bollikoff.

Bobbet

MayoForSam

Was the blonde hooker's name Knickersonanov?

DeadHand

Grayson wrote: »

Bobbet

That would be the English translation, yes.

Just a little Samba

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why though? If you were infertile and wanted to produce kids they still wouldn't be yours.

Well, actually, they would.

You'd just need to "flush" out the testicles and epididymis and then they'd be "empty". Once transplanted anything produced (if the body didn't reject them) would be the new "owners" sperm, not the previous owners sperm.

The_Valeyard

Grayson wrote: »

what was that americans name? The one who had them chopped off and became a porn start for a short time

Honestly do not know. Anyhow ,.... How could you be a porn star with no lads? Surely the moneyshot would be an exercise in futility?

harry Bailey esq

Grayson wrote: »

what was that americans name? The one who had them chopped off and became a porn start for a short time

John wayne bobbet

ZiabR

I had my hand on my crotch reading that story... christ

SoulTrader

logik wrote: »

I had my hand on my crotch reading that story... christ

It's amazing what turns some people on.

jmayo

whiskeyman wrote: »

They've arrested the known Russian testicle kleptomaniac, Mr. Whodyarobabollickov







Surprised this wasn't posted.... and it's post 23?
Shame on you AH!!

Surely you mean Mr Nick Abollockov

Anyway I heard the Greeks have them since the last balls they showed the EU/Germans didn't quiet intimidate Merkel as expected.

Pherekydes

Sounds like bullsh1t. 'carried out skillfully' does not tally with 'covered in blood'.

vienne86

They've arrested Ivan Nacka Nickin Ballsoff.