Can't find a gym buddy :(

Gymuser6738

Hi I'm seriously & genuinely trying to find a gym buddy to go to the gym with but I'm not having any luck finding anyone.

I've really tried, one or 2 people agreed seemed interested but each time we had the gym organised she kept on cancelling on me so I left her be

I'd be looking to go to the gym about twice a week ?

Would anyone have any tips or ways to ask other people to the gym ? I might be too direct with asking people to go the gym with me

Is having a friend to go to a gym with a bit stupid ?

I'd really love to start going regularly

athtrasna

Personally I think it's better to go on your own. Meet a trainer, set a programme then just go in by yourself with an mp3 player and go for it. Having someone with you leads to conversation which can slow you down, there's also pressures to comply with their schedules etc.

I know that having a "gym buddy" can encourage you to go when you don't feel like it but if you start going, the endorphins will do that for you. Good luck!

Gymuser6738

athtrasna wrote: »

Personally I think it's better to go on your own. Meet a trainer, set a programme then just go in by yourself with an mp3 player and go for it. Having someone with you leads to conversation which can slow you down, there's also pressures to comply with their schedules etc.

I know that having a "gym buddy" can encourage you to go when you don't feel like it but if you start going, the endorphins will do that for you. Good luck!

I've tried going on my own, it doesn't really work & if I actually do get a gym on my own I dont do as much work compared to when someone is there with me

I have weights & a bench at home so I use them instead of going the gym on my own, I know I won't go on my own

athtrasna

Gymuser6738 wrote: »

I've tried going on my own, it doesn't really work & if I actually do get a gym on my own I dont do as much work compared to when someone is there with me

I have weights & a bench at home so I use them instead of going the gym on my own, I know I won't go on my own

Here's a question then, why are you going to the gym? To lose weight? To build muscle? To tone up? To stay healthy?

LegacyUser

Not stupid to have a gym buddy, but probably a bit unnecessary. If you find someone to go with, great. If you don't, that's no harm, you can do your own thing at your own schedule and pace without worrying about anything else. If you're really motivated you don't really need anyone to go with. If you're not motivated, find some motivation, otherwise you'll just use a missing partner as a reason to skip workouts and eventually stop exercising when they tail off, or never start them in the first place.

It's also very possible that you'll meet people there doing the same thing, eventually get to know people and maybe train with them. Or you'll find gym turns into taking up a sport, swimming or running or cycling or something, then you join a club and suddenly you have a captive audience of partners. That's generally a more productive process than trying to get someone you already know to go with you when they're not particularily reliable or motivated.

Whatever way you go, remember, if you don't want to do something you'll find an excuse, if you want to do it you'll find a way. If you really want to go to the gym, get going, don't wait for everything to be in place, because it never will if you don't make it happen.

MrWalsh

I cant imagine anything worse than a gym buddy - when Im working out Im in no condition to hold a conversation!! But each to their own!

If you dont like going alone why dont you do some classes and work out in a group setting?

Mr. Incognito

If you have time to talk you are not doing it right.

If you need someone else to motivate you are not motivated to do it

The gym is for working out physically.

Don't treat it like a social club and distract the people that are there to do just that

StormWarrior

If you desperately need someone there to make you do it, then why not hire a personal trainer? Since you're having so much trouble finding a gym buddy I think it's a bad idea to rely on one. If you did find one, what happens if they let you down or just stop being interested? Will you just not go on the days they don't go and stop going if they stop going? Better to rely on yourself or pay for a personal trainer.

zoobizoo

I'd be like others in that I like to go on my own - I now pop on headphones and away I go.

I don't have any issue motivating myself to go to the gym or working out when I am there. Motivation seems to be the issue.

So, you could do as others suggested and sign up to a trainer. He / she might be able to put you in touch with other people looking for a work out buddy.

Alternatively, how about going to some of the classes that they have on at the gym (where they push you) and see if that would motivate you to go on the other days on your own.

My motivations for going more often are
- to get fitter (obviously)
- to get value out of my membership. The more times I go, the cheaper each visit is

Littlekittylou

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

If you have time to talk you are not doing it right.

If you need someone else to motivate you are not motivated to do it

The gym is for working out physically.

Don't treat it like a social club and distract the people that are there to do just that

It's there for what the individual chooses it to be. Not everyone is so serious all the time.

OP I have seen people put ads in Gumtree etc. If you want to find a gym buddy go for it. Or you can make a friend there. Yes don't distract people there for one purpose but relax there are different types of gym goers.

Mr. Incognito

Littlekittylou wrote: »

It's there for what the individual chooses it to be. Not everyone is so serious all the time.

OP I have seen people put ads in Gumtree etc. If you want to find a gym buddy go for it. Or you can make a friend there. Yes don't distract people there for one purpose but relax there are different types of gym goers.

A gym is a communal space where users are there to work out. If people are loitering on machines having the chats while other users are being adversely affected that is simply not fair.

A gym is there for people to work out. If you want a chat go to a café.

bluestrattos

I can volunteer to be a eat and drink buddy

I can barely convince myself to go to the gym and do something, forget about preaching to another fellow human.

I'm more the kind of friend when you say "I'm tired" points to the nearest place that have cookies on sale

Potatoeman

I find gyms very boring so I prefer to do classes. Im more motivated when exercising with others and many classes are pay per class so you arent tied in.

Gymuser6738

athtrasna wrote: »

Here's a question then, why are you going to the gym? To lose weight? To build muscle? To tone up? To stay healthy?

Mainly muscle building but I don't mind doing light cardio as well

Gymuser6738

MrWalsh wrote: »

I cant imagine anything worse than a gym buddy - when Im working out Im in no condition to hold a conversation!! But each to their own!

If you dont like going alone why dont you do some classes and work out in a group setting?

Well it would depend wouldnt it ? I wouldnt have full blown deep conversations with someone in the gym, youre not going to have a big conversation with someone while concentrating on gym work anyway

Its mainly to motivate me to go, & it would feel good as well if I'm encouraging & motivating someone to go gym

I'm much much more likely to go with someone than on my own

Gymuser6738

zoobizoo wrote: »

I'd be like others in that I like to go on my own - I now pop on headphones and away I go.

I don't have any issue motivating myself to go to the gym or working out when I am there. Motivation seems to be the issue.

So, you could do as others suggested and sign up to a trainer. He / she might be able to put you in touch with other people looking for a work out buddy.

Alternatively, how about going to some of the classes that they have on at the gym (where they push you) and see if that would motivate you to go on the other days on your own.

My motivations for going more often are
- to get fitter (obviously)
- to get value out of my membership. The more times I go, the cheaper each visit is

The gym membership tactic to encourage to go the gym in order not to waste the money spent on the membership doesn't work on me either, I'd end up wasting the money on 1 month or 3 month memberships as this has happened to me before,

The trainer suggestion is a good one but wouldn't work for me in the long term ?

It kind of sounds as if I'm lazy, but then I'm not as I do gym work in my house on my own so

InTheTrees

athtrasna wrote: »

I know that having a "gym buddy" can encourage you to go when you don't feel like it but if you start going, the endorphins will do that for you.

Exactly. Once you get into a routine (3/4 days?) the endorphins will keep you coming back.

Stench Blossoms

Why don't you post on the Health and Fitness forum and ask if someone there will go with you?

Rubberchikken

Is there s notice board where you work? Try gumtree too.
Good luck

StormWarrior

Gymuser6738 wrote: »

The gym membership tactic to encourage to go the gym in order not to waste the money spent on the membership doesn't work on me either, I'd end up wasting the money on 1 month or 3 month memberships as this has happened to me before,

The trainer suggestion is a good one but wouldn't work for me in the long term ?

It kind of sounds as if I'm lazy, but then I'm not as I do gym work in my house on my own so

Honestly you sound like you just don't want to go to the gym and will find a reason to discount any suggestion made. If you hate the gym that much then find another sport, there are hundreds, hiking, karate, rowing, horseriding, surely you an find something you'll enjoy. Alternatively just buy a bench and some dumbbells they are very cheap on argos and ebay. You can just workout at home. Or get a taebo DVD.

InTheTrees

Gymuser6738 wrote: »

The trainer suggestion is a good one but wouldn't work for me in the long term ?

You need the trainer to get you going, set up an appropriate routine, etc.

You just need to get over the hump, once you pick up the habit you'll find you dont need someone to go with you anymore.

Really.

If you're doing weights, you should be pushing it hard. If you had a "buddy" with you doing weights would you be resting while they do their sets? In other words the workout would take twice as long? Or would you do less?

This is a good reason for having at least two appointments with a trainer when you start out. Or even if you're going to continue at home.

power pants

some people prefer someone to train with particularly people who power lift or compete in competitions. Its good for motivation and spotting and checking on form and technique etc

Personally I prefer to train on my own, there is always the risk the other person wont want to go some nights, too long in talking, not motivated enough. Also I get my workout done 2x as fast than waiting around.

From what you are describing you just need your own motivation when in the gym. what you need to do is set out a goal as to what you want to achieve. Next step get a programme to stick too and take it from there.

after a couple of weeks you will be motivated to go gym buddy or no gym buddy

To be honest if you set yourself some goals, get a trainer to do you up a program and follow it, you'll find your own motivation to go and get it done. That's the best thing you can do imo

bjork

Go to the gym alone
Chat to people there
Arrange to meet them there the next time

Find a gym buddy at the gym

Chucky the tree

OP if you need someone to get you to go to the gym with then my impression is that you'd possibly be a bit of a nightmare gym buddy. You'd possible be unreliable and more interested in chatting then actually working out hard.

Merkin

bjork wrote: »

Go to the gym alone
Chat to people there
Arrange to meet them there the next time

Find a gym buddy at the gym

No offence but I really would not advise doing this. Very few people use the gym as a social outlet. It's for getting the head down and working out and while a nod/very brief chat to someone you know is fine, I really wouldn't go trying to make friends and then asking people to be your gym buddy. It wouldn't come across well, approaching people in a gym (for a date or social interaction) is a no no.

OP I think you should commit to some weekly classes and just go. The only person who should motivate you is you. That or pay a PT privately to hassle you with calls and texts.

Gymuser6738

I cant reply to every reply but I was thinking maybe its best if I dont go gym, continue what I'm doing at home & if in the meantime I came across someone that would be interested in going gym twice or so a week then start going the gym with them

No one knows me on here as much as myself so

Sleepless and Manic

Dont be put off OP.

DoYouEvenLift

It's stupid unless you're lifting partners there mostly for spotting each other. And even then it can, a lot of the time, be more unproductive than being by yourself and just asking random people for spots when needed because you're more likely to casually chat and waste time rather than doing what you're there to do. Few things are more annoying than seeing idiots come to the gym together and half ass their workouts and wasting time occupying equipment during a chat, why don't they just go for a nice coffee or pint if they're looking for a gossiping session?

Taltos

PI is intended to be a safe place to get some constructive advice in a civil way. It is not an open invitation to issue insults clothed in tough love. Don't get me wrong sometimes the truth is harsh but telling an anonymous poster they'd be a "nightmare" isn't acceptable and per another mod warning yesterday this type of advice is a trend we are no longer accepting in PI/RI as frankly it is putting genuine posters off seeking advice here.

Stench Blossoms

Chucky the tree wrote: »

OP if you need someone to get you to go to the gym with then my impression is that you'd possibly be a bit of a nightmare gym buddy. You'd possible be unreliable and more interested in chatting then actually working out hard.

Pretty big assumption to make don't you think?

I much prefer training with someone and don't spend my time chatting to them. It's more motivating for me to be there with someone else and I enjoy it more. I push myself more when other people are there as well. The OP could be the same.

Chucky the tree

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

Pretty big assumption to make don't you think?

I much prefer training with someone and don't spend my time chatting to them. It's more motivating for me to be there with someone else and I enjoy it more. I push myself more when other people are there as well. The OP could be the same.

Do you NEED someone to be with you to go to the gym though? I doubt it because you're probably motivated enough to go on your own. That to me is the huge difference. I agree that having someone can definitely lead to a better work out. But when I saw that she "needed" someone that was the impression I got.

It is a big assumption though I agree but I don't think I'm the only person who makes assumptions and that' the problem. If the OP is going to post looking for a gym buddy in a another forum/noticeboard I think she shouldn't state that she needs one to go to the gym because it will put people off.

Taltos

Stench, Chucky - this is an advice forum, not a discussion forum.

If you don't have constructive advice to offer the OP in a civil manner please don't post. Doing so can and will result in moderator action. Also where a post has been addressed by a moderator we ask posters not to take it on themselves to quote or argue said post, that just draws the original poster back in which could result in further action against them if they are seen to be ignoring mod instruction.

Chucky the tree - please don't post in this thread again. You've made your point.

zoobizoo

ACtually, while I like the gym on my own, I know plentyof people who would have running buddies and it helps them stay motivated.

dellas1979

Gymuser6738 wrote: »

It kind of sounds as if I'm lazy, but then I'm not as I do gym work in my house on my own so

It doesnt sound like you are lazy at all. But I would bet my usual banana on it that there is something else going on than just "I need someone to motivate me to go to the gym."

You shouldnt need anyone (but yourself) to motivate yourself to go. Its very needy and unhealthy OP to rely on someone to get you to the gym (and then blame them when you cant go?).

Noone is stopping you going, except ironically yourself.