Eating Disorder Awareness

helliwen

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

People often post questions here that seem to be coming from a disordered attitude to food or exercise, for example about excessive calorie restriction, crazy high levels of exercise, or how to break out of diet/binge cycles. I'm often not sure how to respond - should we just answer their questions and advise on how to continue down a disordered path, or try to address some of the issues that appear to be behind the question?

Now, maybe I read too much into innocent questions, but I've had my own struggle with an ED and I know how sneakily these things can begin. If you're interested in reading about it, here's the link.

This week, I'll also be posting interviews with therapists working with eating disorders as well as some other stories of recovery - Alf Veedersane was kind enough to write his for me - it'll be up on the blog tomorrow.

If any of this resonates with you, here is a list of resources where you can get help - Bodywhys will also be sharing lots of information this week.

If you know anyone who seems to be struggling with their body image, food or exercise, please share some of this with them.

Knowing that you're not alone, not crazy and that there is a way out is essential to taking those first steps towards breaking free.

(I got permission from the mods a while back about sharing my story here via my blog - I hope this is OK)

LuckyLloyd

Just wanted to say that was a powerful read, fair play for sharing your story.

Fantasy_Suicide

Thanks so much for pointing this out. For me it wasn't until I read something similar that I realised that I did have a disorder. Honestly, you never expect it to happen to you - you love your food, how could anyone not love their food? I was that guy. It really is all about control. OP I identify so much with so many things you have said. The numbers on the scale become your whole world. Unless you've been in the middle of an ED it is almost impossible to understand it, but education is so so important. Recognising the signs before it becomes a compulsion. The longer you go on, the harder it gets to come out.

Thanks for this OP. I am currently back in the gym and eating healthy, but it's a fine line for me. I can often see so many warning signs I'm going to cross the line. It's so difficult, but being able to talk about it without shame or judgement helps.

LuckyLloyd

What I think we generally do well here is to note to people that the number on the scales is a bad indicator of progress and one to be ignored behind:

- how they feel in terms of energy levels on a daily basis;
- how their clothes fit;
- how they look;
- how they're sleeping;
- how they're performing in the gym / on the road relative to where they were when they started;

And accompanying that with an effort to dig into the nutritional quality and diversity of what they're consuming in terms of food on a daily basis along with suggesting the basics in terms of exercise and saying 'do something you enjoy'.

Of course, I can only "think" that's a good approach. I've never suffered an ED or weight obsession and I might be wrong in what I'm saying above.

Alf Veedersane

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

What I think we generally do well here is to note to people that the number on the scales is a bad indicator of progress and one to be ignored behind:

- how they feel in terms of energy levels on a daily basis;
- how their clothes fit;
- how they look;
- how they're sleeping;
- how they're performing in the gym / on the road relative to where they were when they started;

And accompanying that with an effort to dig into the nutritional quality and diversity of what they're consuming in terms of food on a daily basis along with suggesting the basics in terms of exercise and saying 'do something you enjoy'.

Of course, I can only "think" that's a good approach. I've never suffered an ED or weight obsession and I might be wrong in what I'm saying above.

The advice that is given here is certainly a much better way of assessing where someone is. Support is offered and success is defined by how clothes feel and how you look.

The problem is that people have come to be calibrated to define what's right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy by what the scales says.

That said, many people who develop an ED don't develop it because of a negative body image or because they feel the reading on the scales is too high.

helliwen

@F_S:

Being able to recognise the signs is one of the first steps. Then being able to say "No, I'm not going there again" is the next, much harder, step. I slipped in and out of my ED for so long because it had such important functions for me - control, achievement, numbing, focus. I really had to get to the point where I was strong enough to face all of the things I was trying to avoid. It was much easier to stick to that what was so familiar, even if it was so destructive and painful. Only when I was willing to look at other parts of my life could I begin to let go and move forwards.

@LL: I agree - I think it's great that people here try to suggest focussing on other markers of progress.

Some other things I think can be problematic for ED sufferers are too much tracking (which is often suggested here), too much focus on willpower, and quickly given advice on fat loss when the OP is already at a healthy weight - particularly if they seem overly restrictive or active, in terms of exercise. And not everyone replies in this way, but some do, which can legitimize the disordered behaviors.

helliwen

As promised yesterday, here's Alf Veedersane's story of his ED and recovery therefrom. I'm so grateful that he agreed to share it on my blog. I'm sure it will help a lot of people.

Alf Veedersane

Thanks to helliwen for giving me the opportunity to contribute to this.

If there's anyone that it resonates with or has anything to ask or say, I'm only too happy to answer questions here or by PM.

Oryx

Slightly offtopic, I edited the title of the thread to avoid confusion because ED can also mean erectile dysfunction.

People often post questions here that seem to be coming from a disordered attitude to food or exercise, for example about excessive calorie restriction, crazy high levels of exercise, or how to break out of diet/binge cycles. I'm often not sure how to respond - should we just answer their questions and advise on how to continue down a disordered path, or try to address some of the issues that appear to be behind the question?

I have seen these posts too, the disordered thinking can be pretty obvious. However, given that it is such a complex thing to deal with, along with the problem of giving medical advice or diagnosis, we cannot address issues individually here. All we can do is share personal experiences and link to sources of help, in the hopes that the afflicted person will recognise their problems and seek real world help.

helliwen

I should have googled it before I titled the thread ;-)

Today's post is an interview with a practising psychologist who has worked with many women suffering from eating disorders and body image issues. She shares some very insighful perspectives on how such issues develop and what we need to change.

metamorphosis

Great thread.

I think that for many, it is very hard to sport the starting signs (which is really crucial in addressing) unless you have encountered or dealt ED spectrum before. It certainly doesn't help when the 'norms' in place that people believe will make them lose weight or eat right can also heighten and encourage unhealthy behavior in people susceptible to the ED / EDNOS spectrum.

Alf Veedersane

I often wonder if men just aren't as likely to have an eating disorder or if it flies under the radar more because (a) it's not expected and (b) they're less likely to talk to someone about it.

Sangre

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

I often wonder if men just aren't as likely to have an eating disorder or if it flies under the radar more because (a) it's not expected and (b) they're less likely to talk to someone about it.

Both I'd say. I think someone would be far less likely to spot warning signs in others because it is not expected, especially if someone doesn't talk poorly about their body image.

helliwen

I think that the number of men suffering from eating disorders is increasing. But I don't think it will ever come anywhere near the number of women - I think that there are different pressures on men and women which lead to different disordered behaviours.

However, I know of a young man who was diagnosed with anorexia last year while being treated for anxiety and depression. And the anorexia definitely wasn't just a "result" of the other issues, that is it's not just that he wasn't eating because he wasn't hungry. It was definitely an issue in itself. But it wasn't addressed at all in his treatment, as far as I know. And when I had previously suggested that it might be an issue, I was shot down straight away (not by him, but by family members of his). They just couldn't entertain the fact that he might have an eating disorder.

Alf Veedersane

The very fact that an eating disorder can be the manifestation of something else makes it difficult to address.

From my own experience, I was probably in better shape than I had been to that point when it eased itself, unnoticed, into my life.

Not that I was in marvellous shape or but my body image wasn't negative or anything.

There are quite a few factors that can spark it into being.

Konata

Just wanted to say a big thanks to helliwen and Alf for sharing your stories. I've been struggling with eating disorders for nearly 15 years now (anorexia, then bulimia, then binge eating disorder and currently at a combo of all three so EDNOS I guess) and some days, particularly in the last year, it feels like I will never ever get better. I've tried so many things and sometimes I manage a bit better for a few weeks or months, only to relapse again and be stuck for another few months or years. It gets frustrating when I think of how much time I've wasted and still am wasting. Since I've had eating problems since childhood, I don't know what it's like to live a normal life at all but I have to say that reading both your stories has given me some encouragement and inspiration to keep pushing so thank you. I'm going to bookmark it and come back to them when I'm feeling particularly hopeless.

I really hope that some day I can have a success story to share too

helliwen

Hi Konata - it means so much to me to hear that what we're sharing might be of help to someone. Thank you.

It's taken me a long time to get to where I am now - I struggled with these issues for 18 years, I had so many relapses but I have come out the other side of it and that's what my blog posts this week are all about. There is a way out.

helliwen

Today´s post is another interview, this time with a doctor/psychotherapist who has worked treating eating disorders in both in-and out-patient settings.

helliwen

And today Danny Lennon was kind enough to share his experience with orthorexia (which can be described as an unhealthy obsession with healthy eating).

This one is particularly interesting because it's becoming so common. People give up the processed food in favour of real healthy foods - usually a healthy move. But then they can start cutting out more and more food groups out of their diet, often to comply with certain dietary guidelines. A fixation on food quality can further reduce the amount of foods a person can eat and start to encroach on their social lives - it can be pretty tricky to eat out with friends if you're only eating organic, grass-fed, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, soy-free, grain-free, vegetable-oil-free, low FODMAP etc. etc. Food preparation and planning can take over your whole life - but you're just being healthy, right?

This is such a tricky one because we all know that conventional, industrially produced foods aren't necessarily good for us. But when does healthy become unhealthy? When does a resolution become a compulsion?

Alf Veedersane

"The reason you should improve your diet, the reason you should care about nutrition and what you eat, is so that you can live a great life."

Danny mentioned this in a blog post recently and it really struck a chord.

It's all too easy to get into a position where you think the nutrition/food leads the way and the rest follows - I know I have. And not just for people who have or are close to having an eating disorder.

LuckyLloyd

I'd humbly suggest this thread be added in the 'useful links' stickies here and in the nutrition sub forum

helliwen

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

I'd humbly suggest this thread be added in the 'useful links' stickies here and in the nutrition sub forum

I would be more than happy to include the content of the blog posts in the thread itself if that would be useful.

helliwen

Today an American blogger wrote wrote about her recovery - I love how she quotes Glen Hansard!

Penny Tration

Fantastic thread, and fair play to Alf for sharing his experience.

I used to have 'issues' with eating.

At the time, I had mental health problems and couldn't cope.

When I'm stressed, I get really nauseous. We all know that horrible feeling of nausea, where you almost wish you'd get sick just for it to go away.

It started that I'd purge every few days, when the nausea became too much to cope with. Literally just to get rid of the nausea, nothing else.

Eventually, it was purging every time I felt a hint of nausea, and avoiding food to prevent the nausea, followed by binge eating because I'd be starving.

I brought it up with my psychiatrist and therapist, but tbh they weren't concerned and didn't discuss it with me much, except to tell me to stop doing it! That was the height of the discussion on it.

It was a coping mechanism initially for me, because I certainly wasn't losing weight :pac:

Eventually, my mum copped on to what I was doing, but I just learned to hide it better.

One day, after a relationship break up, I realised I hadn't eaten for 4 days, even though I'd been working 14 hour shifts so seriously needed to eat.

Something just clicked in my head, and I stopped. I got some soup, didn't purge, and made sure to eat properly and just take a motilium if I was nauseous.

My teeth are wrecked from it. They still look grand, white and straight, but are extremely sensitive and I have some cavaties in the back.

I still get disordered thoughts about food and calories, but am determined to be healthy and happy. I lost a hell of a lot of weight through healthy eating and exercise, and am deliberately losing the rest very slowly, so that I don't fall back into disordered thinking.

I still don't think I ever had an eating disorder, because nobody ever called it that or saw it as anything serious when I reached out for help. They just called it an unhealthy coping mechanism.

But I know I certainly had issues with food and control.

Thankfully, I'm fairly physically and mentally healthy now, and my boyfriend and one sister are very strict on telling me to eat if I've gone a while without eating due to stress.

COH

Excellent post from Alex Viada, a coach that some here may be familiar with and the owner of Complete Human Performance

ALEX VIADA wrote: »

.



Alex Viada

13 hrs · 



Well, I found it. Not a terribly easy thing to post here. I've talked in the past a few times about issues with eating disorders personally, and decided I would dig this up to remind myself.

I think a lot of folks tend to see my fairly snarky approach to what I view as "overly clean" eating, measuring food, sacrificing for the win, all that other silliness... and it's not meant to mock those who have serious goals that they work hard for. I've been there, I guess, more than most. I remember when I gained a lot of weight in college, then had a turnaround moment when I was tired of being portly (I'd gained 80 pounds) and out of shape... so I turned all my dedication towards losing as much weight as possible- towards finding something that I could just blow everyone else away at.

I would find the ultimate self-control, a level of personal mind over body that nobody could match. I started to look down at people who didn't have the dedication to do what I did, who didn't have the drive. I couldn't fathom NOT living this lifestyle, NOT relishing that empty belly feeling I had every night, and NOT feeling that familiar weakness at the top of every flight of stairs that reminded me that I was burning away all that worthless fat. I took DNP, the old Ripped fuel, 1-2 grams of coke a day, and was down to about 150-200 calories a day.

It had nothing to do with magazines. Or media portrayals. Or ANY of the other crap that people parade about- that **** was for the weak minded, right? This had to do with ME, with ME being the best I could be at something nobody could ever take away from me. People didn't think my goals were healthy? Bah, giving ANYTHING your all is unhealthy to an extent. Something's eventually going to kill us all, right?

This might sound familiar to some. It might not. In this picture I was 148 pounds. 5 pounds later I ended up in the hospital, so weak I couldn't control my own bowel movements. I told nobody about this. The damage was long lasting- I lost my girlfriend of nearly four years, I trashed my endocrine system, I almost dropped out of college. I had a hard road back. I binged. I gained slabs of weight. I hated the person I was then, and I hated the person I was becoming- my identity was totally shaken.

I finally did discover what it was like to rebuild, that first moment I really picked up a weight, to think about actually building myself up rather than tearing myself down. But every now and then, the old horror creeps back. I catch myself totaling up calories in my head. I squeeze a nonexistent love handle and temporarily want to tear it off my body. Hell, even building can be an obsession- that same drive and determination to be exceptional can result in as equally an ignominious and horrible end. You never recover from these things.

All you can do is see them coming.

So my message is, and always has been- do what you will, do it well, be the best you can be. But be good to yourself. Don't go down the road I did. Ever.

helliwen

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

Fantastic thread, and fair play to Alf for sharing his experience.

I used to have 'issues' with eating.

...
I still don't think I ever had an eating disorder, because nobody ever called it that or saw it as anything serious when I reached out for help. They just called it an unhealthy coping mechanism.

But I know I certainly had issues with food and control.

Thankfully, I'm fairly physically and mentally healthy now, and my boyfriend and one sister are very strict on telling me to eat if I've gone a while without eating due to stress.

Hi Jenny,

Thanks for sharing your experience.

That's exactly what an eating disorder is - an unhealthy coping mechanism that effects how you eat or how you "manage your weight", for want of a better phrase. A dance teacher of mine used to say to me "I don't believe you ever had an eating disorder - you're just an overachiever personality-type and this affects your relationship to food and your body." Um, yes, that's the eating disorder!

Regardless of what you call it though, I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better now and that you have people looking out for you! Well done for coming this far.

helliwen

COH wrote: »

I finally did discover what it was like to rebuild, that first moment I really picked up a weight, to think about actually building myself up rather than tearing myself down.

^^^^ This. Love it.

helliwen

This is the last of the Awareness Week posts, in which I've put together some practical advise on how to help someone with an ED.

This is by no means an extensive list of signs, symptoms or ways to help. If anyone here has other experiences, I'd love to hear them.

Alf Veedersane

Just wanted to congratulate helliwen on a great project over the course of this past week.

The more light we can shine on the issue, the more chance there is that people suffering from an ED will seek help. There are so any feelings that contribute to people not seeking help and seeing a range of different stories over the course of the week will resonate and help people see they're not the only ones and that there is a way out.

On the flip side, it's also given people an insight into why people succumb to eating disorders, the justification of disordered behaviour, etc. They're very difficult to spot to the untrained eye. And it's really hard to know how to help.

The stories across the week have helped in all those areas and for that, a big bualadh bos to helliwen.