How do I deal with not being able to afford to live where I want?

MrMorooka

I work full time, make €36000. That gives me a net income of €2330 a month after my taxsaver ticket.

I live at home in a suburb on the Meath border, and don't want to. I want to live alone closer to work(in Dublin city centre). I have done budgets, and I can't afford it. I would need to limit rent to €900 to make it work, and it is not possible to get the kind of place I want for that amount. I have no friends who need accommodation in Dublin so sharing with them wouldn't be an option.

This is really depressing me. It is affecting my concentration in work hugely. I am wasting easily 2 and half hours of my day commuting. I am wasting time in work thinking and writing about how **** I think Dublin is, how many dodgy areas there are, how crappy the quality f housing is, how I wish it would build up, increase supply and fix the rental market so I can afford to rent here. I plan emigration to somewhere like the Nordic countries since they literally seem like paradise in comparison - there is reams of data suggesting lots of countries have much higher quality of living in comparison to Ireland.

I'm not sure if I can make more money or not. I develop software, but I have been doing it essentially on my own since college, working at my own startup for a few years, now working with another startup I have experience, but not in the kind of fields I see ads for- like I would not describe myself as a Java expert, I have used it and written lots of code in it, but not consistently, not in a corporate setting, and I haven't used it in a couple of years. I know I can pick up whatever technology as needed, that's what I have always done, but that doesn't help me get a job above entry level salary. That's my concern- that despite being 5 years of college I can only get entry level jobs and money because all my work thusfar is difficult to explain, mainly solo, and I don't tick the corporate keyword boxes.

Obsessing over this is just taking over my life. How do I deal with it? Emigrate? Rent somewhere by just cutting out savings? I can afford rent in Dublin if I remove savings from my budget(I already have €26k saved, so maybe I should just freeze that, rent for a while, and then I will get more pay and be able to add back to it when I can afford).

From what I keep reading, I need to be making 50-70k to even think of living the lifestyle I want, living alone in a nice apartment in Dublin. That will be years for me.

dudara

You mention Java, which is a high demand area. It may be worth investing some time to upskill your Java knowledge in order to secure a better job. I know of several organisations who are crying out for good developers.

If you feel that you are not "ticking the corporate boxes" then ask yourself why? And then ask yourself what you can do about it? Making an appointment to see a career/CV expert may help you see options that you are not seeing yourself.

MrWalsh

You seem to be kind of living in the "now" rather than planning for your future.

First of all, 5 years out of college is nothing, Im not sure if Id even bypassed the completely gormless studenty stage of my life by then.

However, there is no point coasting along in start ups, living paycheque to paycheque while not gaining marketable skills for the future. Ive seen it a lot. Guys in my last job who had been in the role for 20+ years with nothing to show for it except "I did the job" - and then after redundancy they had nothing to put on a CV.

Its up to YOU to future proof yourself. You need to get work that will give you more than just a wage, it needs to give you a better CV. You need to keep your skills relevant and focus on bettering your career so you DO earn more and can afford a better lifestyle.

MrMorooka

Well it's hard to find the time to 'upskill' when I have so little time in the day after working, an then taking the bus(and I have other commitments). I can't do any work at the weekends because I have to share a tiny bedroom with my brother(again- I want to ****ing move out). I'm almost 25, he is 20, I hate feeling like a child sleeping on pissing bunk beds.

It's not like doing some Java work in my own time would help- I would still be joining a company as a junior dev at a ****ty salary. I don't know how to leverage the experience I have- at my current job(which I got through meeting a potential customer in my previous startup, when it failed he wanted me so I jumped at the chance) I basically own a product, and use whatever tool is needed, and add features in response to my bosses requests. It's a browser extension, using Javascript, but that's so niche- I know lots of JS now, but not the kind you might use on a website, because a browser extension is different.

In a bigger market I'm sure I could get a job. But in Ireland your options are wear a suit and program ****ty Java corporate apps 8-6 for a massive company only here for the tax, or waste time and health getting paid cents for a clueless startup too full of themselves.

MrMorooka

MrWalsh wrote: »

Its up to YOU to future proof yourself. You need to get work that will give you more than just a wage, it needs to give you a better CV. You need to keep your skills relevant and focus on bettering your career so you DO earn more and can afford a better lifestyle.

I know, but I hate this. Why isn't just working full time at a smart job not enough to let me live independently? It's not a livable wage. For christs sake I don't want to live like a king- I don't drink, I don't go out, I don't do drugs or have a girlfriend, I just want to be able to have a nice place with good internet.

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

But in Ireland your options are wear a suit and program ****ty Java corporate apps 8-6 for a massive company only here for the tax........

So why dont you do that for a few years?

Tasden

Have you ruled out house sharing with strangers? You say none of your friends are in a position to share so is sharing something you'd do? I know ideally you'd like to be on your own but needs must and all that..

MrMorooka

Because that wouldn't solve the immediate problem, unless they want to hire me for €50k.

MrMorooka

Tasden wrote: »

Have you ruled out house sharing with strangers? You say none of your friends are in a position to share so is sharing something you'd do? I know ideally you'd like to be on your own but needs must and all that..

I'm already spending my life in a bedroom, may as well do that with family who I can trust and are quiet, and make me food. I shared a house before, I put on huge amounts of weight because I didn't feel confident enough to use the kitchen properly(because I had to share it), I just blasted frozen stuff in the oven and ate it in my room.

MagicMarker

OP, the solution is very simple. Share.

Move to Dublin, reduce your budget to 650 and you'll get a perfectly nice place sharing with 1-2 other people close to, if not in the City Centre. While here you can up-skill. There's nothing wrong with getting an entry level job either, within a view years you'll move up the chain and your salary will increase. And as a developer your salary should increase rather quickly, as far as I know you should be looking at a min of 50k after 5 years.

If you REALLY want to live alone then to be perfectly honest you need to just settle for a place within your budget until you reach a level where you can afford something better. Dublin isn't an episode of Friends, we're not all living in spacious downtown apartments in our mid twenties hanging out in coffee shops.

Or alternatively you can keep sharing a room with your brother. Your call.

shruikan2553

You can share with strangers, live somewhere cheap and commute or change jobs to somwhere like cork or Galway where you could afford to live near the city centre and near work. Or stay where you are.

Practice cooking at home, move to a house share then

MrMorooka

I don't want to ****ing share. I hate people. I don't want to listen to people my own age talk about how mentally ****ed up they got at the pub, don't want to feel like a guest at home, don't want to have to deal with drunk people or people on drugs, don't want people to talk to me and ask me **** and feign interest in my interests, don't want to have them pass opinion on me, try to be my friend, try to teach me ****. Just **** off.

Putting all the aside, there is nowhere in a typical house share where I could fit a nice desk for my computer and dual screen setup. Most of them are just a tiny bedroom.

I'm not a student, don't want to live like one.

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

I don't want to ****ing share. I hate people. I don't want to listen to people my own age talk about how mentally ****ed up they got at the pub, don't want to feel like a guest at home, don't want to have to deal with drunk people or people on drugs, don't want people to talk to me and ask me **** and feign interest in my interests, don't want to have them pass opinion on me, try to be my friend, try to teach me ****. Just **** off.

Putting all the aside, there is nowhere in a typical house share where I could fit a nice desk for my computer and dual screen setup. Most of them are just a tiny bedroom.

I'm not a student, don't want to live like one.

It must be observed that youve a very bad attitude in the face of good advice being given.

Tasden

Well unfortunately you haven't got the option to do exactly as you would like. We'd all like to be able to afford nice accommodation in an ideal location. It's either share and live in the right location, or share with your brother in the wrong location. I do understand your frustration, I really do, I'm a single parent with a child in school so I need to find somewhere close to the school that is affordable enough for me to be able to support myself and my child, and pay for ridiculous childcare costs on top of everything else. It's impossible. And I'm not in a position to share with strangers like you are. So I do get the frustration, but unfortunately we don't always get what we want or need. And it's just a case of sucking it up and getting on with it.

MrMorooka

Yeah, I know, so what. I'm not a nice person- that's why I want to live alone! So I can just be left alone and not have to deal with people.

shruikan2553

If you want to live on your own you can commute or move and work in a cheaper part of the country. You could always move to dublin in a few years when earning more money.

If you don't like any of those you can get used to the bunk beds.

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

Yeah, I know, so what. I'm not a nice person- that's why I want to live alone! So I can just be left alone and not have to deal with people.

There is no magic answer though - as previously pointed out - this isnt "Friends".

You either have to get into a role that has a promotion and salary increase path and move somewhere alone in a few years or move closer to Dublin and share with people until you can afford to go it alone.

What do you expect people to advise?

Tasden

Whats your brothers situation? Any chance ye could share a place the two of you?

MrMorooka

When I tried to compromise and rent somewhere that would still be an hour commute to work, I didn't get it despite doing my very ****ing best.

What's the bloody point.

Eric Cartman

MrMorooka wrote: »

I don't want to ****ing share. I hate people. I don't want to listen to people my own age talk about how mentally ****ed up they got at the pub, don't want to feel like a guest at home, don't want to have to deal with drunk people or people on drugs, don't want people to talk to me and ask me **** and feign interest in my interests, don't want to have them pass opinion on me, try to be my friend, try to teach me ****. Just **** off.

Putting all the aside, there is nowhere in a typical house share where I could fit a nice desk for my computer and dual screen setup. Most of them are just a tiny bedroom.

I'm not a student, don't want to live like one.

would renting a 1 bed apartment near a train station or bus closer to dublin be an option

heres one in rathmines, self contained, no sharing, 550 a month http://www.daft.ie/lettings/grosvenor-sq-rathmines-rathmines-dublin/1529531/

MagicMarker

I hadn't realised everyone sharing in Dublin is a drunk, druggy, student.

OP, there are people sharing who aren't students. They also have these things called double bedrooms where you can put a desk.

Big Bag of Chips

You say you have 26k in savings. Use it. Use that to rent a place in the city centre. Use your spare time to do whatever it is you think you need to do to get a better job. Then in a few years when you're on a better salary you can build back up your savings again.

I'm 37. I don't have €26k in savings, but I live somewhere I am happy with and I am happy in general.

Dial Hard

MrMorooka wrote: »

I don't want to ****ing share. I hate people. I don't want to listen to people my own age talk about how mentally ****ed up they got at the pub, don't want to feel like a guest at home, don't want to have to deal with drunk people or people on drugs, don't want people to talk to me and ask me **** and feign interest in my interests, don't want to have them pass opinion on me, try to be my friend, try to teach me ****. Just **** off.

Honestly, OP, your attitude stinks.

I earn several grand a year less than you and live in a very nice area of Dublin, in a three-bed house, with one other person, who happens to be my sister, so I don't even have to share with one of these hideous strangers you seem to loathe so. I also have a car and all the costs associated with that, so I don't know where you're getting the idea that 36k is not a liveable wage.

You cut your cloth to suit your measure - it is 100% possible to live in Dublin, and not in a kip, on the money you're earning. You just need to stop making excuses.

MrMorooka

Tasden wrote: »

Whats your brothers situation? Any chance ye could share a place the two of you?

He works for cash in hand at a shop, I don't want to live him, he would have friends over constantly(he does anyway when our parents aren't around) and he couldn't afford anywhere anyway. He also works like 2 minutes from where we are now, so it's not like he's going to move closer to the city centre.

MagicMarker

MrMorooka wrote: »

When I tried to compromise and rent somewhere that would still be an hour commute to work, I didn't get it despite doing my very ****ing best.

What's the bloody point.

Places in Dublin are in high demand, especially as you get closer to town. I was looking for places near Grand Canal Dock and it took me about 4 months to find something I liked, and who also liked me!

MrMorooka

Dial Hard wrote: »

it is 100% possible to live in Dublin, and not in a kip, on the money you're earning. You just need to stop making excuses.

OK, do the budget for me then. Or you mean, it's possible if you share.

MrMorooka

MagicMarker wrote: »

Places in Dublin are in high demand, especially as you get closer to town. I was looking for places near Grand Canal Dock and it took me about 4 months to find something I liked, and who also liked me!

Exactly, so why should I even bother? Honestly, why doesn't everyone move to Sweden or Denmark or something, since by every objective measure they are much better places

MagicMarker

MrMorooka wrote: »

Exactly, so why should I even bother?

Because the alternative is sharing a room with your brother.

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

OK, do the budget for me then. Or you mean, it's possible if you share.

Well I could rent my own apartment out for 1000 a month, its 2 bed and itd be huge for a single person. Its in the suburbs though so youd have to bus, cycle or drive to city centre - but my hubby cycles it daily and finds it grand - 45 mins each way, plus his daily exercise is done.

Now - it must be admitted its tough to get somewhere these days, but my place is quite typical of a suburban apartment.

Stroke Politics

Have you thought about buying something under the share purchase scheme? My first home was a house that my local council bought for me, and I paid them 75% of the mortgage whilst renting the other 25%. If this scheme is still available, save a deposit, find a house in a reasonably priced area and approach the council about it. After 3 years I bought the council out after my job and pay improved.

I think also you should consider getting some sessions of CBT to deal with the social issues that you feel about getting along with other people. If you do get fixed up with your property on your own, will you really be happy locking yourself away in it, with minimal communication with the rest of the world? You're still very young, and the greatest happiness in life is that which people gain through being with others...

MrMorooka

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well I could rent my own apartment out for 1000 a month, its 2 bed and itd be huge for a single person. Its in the suburbs though so youd have to bus, cycle or drive to city centre - but my hubby cycles it daily and finds it grand - 45 mins each way, plus his daily exercise is done.

Now - it must be admitted its tough to get somewhere these days, but my place is quite typical of a suburban apartment.

1000 a month is too much, I've done the figures.

Tokyo

MrMorooka wrote: »

I don't want to ****ing share. I hate people. I don't want to listen to people my own age talk about how mentally ****ed up they got at the pub, don't want to feel like a guest at home, don't want to have to deal with drunk people or people on drugs, don't want people to talk to me and ask me **** and feign interest in my interests, don't want to have them pass opinion on me, try to be my friend, try to teach me ****. Just **** off.

OP, posters here are trying to give you advice - neither they nor this forum are going to be your own personal whipping boy because you are frustrated with the direction your life has taken.

I understand that you may be frustrated and venting somewhat, and constructive responses are fine, and people here will do their best to assist you. However any further posts like this will result in the thread being closed.

Regards,
Mike

Xterminator

you will have to live within your means.

that means you need to prioritise what matters to you.
i think you may have to accept you cannot afford a 1 bed apt and maintain your lifestyle.

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

1000 a month is too much, I've done the figures.

Yeah Im not disputing that, in fact I pointed out that itd be huge for a single person.

The point is, a 2 bed in suburbia is that - Im sure you could get a one bed in suburbia for much less.

And just on your posted figures - you probably cant save 400 a month AND get your own place etc.. you need to cut your cloth to your measure.

You wont have bins expense if you rent in a managed development, itll be covered by the rent.

150 for groceries plus 90 euro for lunches is madness too. 90 euro a MONTH for lunches? Thats 4 quid a day! You could get lunches for a week on that! Buy bread, make sandwiches.

MrMorooka

MrWalsh wrote: »

150 for groceries plus 90 euro for lunches is madness too. 90 euro a MONTH for lunches? Buy bread, make sandwiches.

It's funny, 90 is my cheaper figure, it was originally 160, based on €7 a day(spar roll+drink+chocolate bar) for 20 days. I think I estimated €90 by having cereal for lunch instead a few days a week.

However the groceries figure looks sensible enough to me, so I don't know.

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

It's funny, 90 is my cheaper figure, it was originally 160, based on €7 a day(spar roll+drink+chocolate bar) for 20 days. I think I estimated €90 by having cereal for lunch instead a few days a week.

However the groceries figure looks sensible enough to me, so I don't know.

Well when I lived alone I spent about 50 quid a week on groceries but that included the makings of lunches (a lot of the time Id be having last nights leftovers for lunch the next day - still do).

I know some people do spend a lot on lunches but its really unnecessary, you can make a roll and bring a drink (or drink water!) for a lot less.

Tasden

Yep the lunches could be cut down on- whatever dinner you make put aside leftovers for next days lunch, make soups to freeze and make sandwiches etc. Don't buy coffees or lunches out.

Eric Cartman

I worked out your budget for something like what I linked earlier. It would be affordable to live alone in a similar studio.

Your take-home may also go up as a close suburb like rathmines would mean you mightn't need your tax saver ticket if you fancied walking or cycling to work instead.

budget.jpg

MrWalsh

MrMorooka wrote: »

It's funny, 90 is my cheaper figure, it was originally 160, based on €7 a day(spar roll+drink+chocolate bar) for 20 days. I think I estimated €90 by having cereal for lunch instead a few days a week.

However the groceries figure looks sensible enough to me, so I don't know.

This whole post reminds me of a time in my life when I could spend without repercussion (lived at home), eat what I wanted (younger metabolism) and the free abandon with which a can of red bull counted as a morning pep me up after a night out - unfortunately financial responsibility and the mortgage knocked that free abandon out of me fairly lively!

brevity

What about here:


http://www.daft.ie/21526548

dudara

I first moved to Dublin back in the boom years on a similar salary, initially supporting two of us. We rented a one bed in D6, had one car and we did just fine. So one person should be able to manage, with careful budgeting, IMO. It's all about living within your means. And if your luxuries have to be cut, then so be it.

You have to decide what you want to do, and then figure out how to do it. There are lots of options being presented here, so it's not impossible. It may be hard, but you may well be happier than bunking with your brother. But ultimately, only you can make it happen for you.

kylith

You have to compromise somewhere, OP.

Your options are:
Stay where you are. Your life will go on as it is.
Move closer to work, rent somewhere nice, accept that you can't keep up your level of savings.
Move closer to work, rent a shthole, keep everything else as is.
Move closer to work, share a house/flat, keep everything else as is.

The reason that rents are so high in Dublin for one-bed places is because generally a couple would rent a one bed.

MrMorooka

brevity wrote: »

What about here:


http://www.daft.ie/21526548

North inner city in a dangerous location, storage heating, 'communal laundry room', probably poorly insulated for sound and heat.

I know this post will get people angry, but yeah, it's my fault. My standards are too high.

MrMorooka

kylith wrote: »

You have to compromise somewhere, OP.

Your options are:
Stay where you are. Your life will go on as it is.
Move closer to work, rent somewhere nice, accept that you can't keep up your level of savings.
Move closer to work, rent a shthole, keep everything else as is.
Move closer to work, share a house/flat, keep everything else as is.

The reason that rents are so high in Dublin for one-bed places is because generally a couple would rent a one bed.

So maybe my other option is to get a girlfriend to share the rent with. lol.

Tbh I am leaning towards option 2 there. I mean, I don't actually have anything in mind for the savings I have at the minute(I literally just have them because it's nice to have them), so no big loss if I don't add as much to them for a while.

Tasden

MrMorooka wrote: »

North inner city in a dangerous location, storage heating, 'communal laundry room', probably poorly insulated for sound and heat.

I know this post will get people angry, but yeah, it's my fault. My standards are too high.

There is the answer to your question so- lower your standards.

Eric Cartman

MrMorooka wrote: »

North inner city in a dangerous location, storage heating, 'communal laundry room', probably poorly insulated for sound and heat.

I know this post will get people angry, but yeah, it's my fault. My standards are too high.

Ill leave out the northside thing but i think thats priced too highly too. On the sound insulation front i think youll be dissapointed with anything though. Ireland has a massive history of building apartments with very poor sound insulation even at the higher end of the market.

MrMorooka

Yeah, that's the other demotivating factor- the quality of accommodation. Sometimes I even just look at Daft with price filter off, and I still can't see places that are 'perfect'. The standard out there is appalling and just puts me off trying.

MrWalsh

I think its rare for people to be able to save at the level you do and you have amassed a very high amount of savings for someone young who isnt on a very high salary.

You could definitely do a year of only saving a minimal amount, like 100 a month, just to see how things are panning out with renting etc...

macnug

Your giving your options too many constraints to the point were there is no solution other than moving abroad. So either find a compromise or go abroad.

MrMorooka

Yeah, I have considered abroad too, but the effort of having to learn the language puts me off. Maybe when I am in a better place, more mentally stable and with more free time.