Dublin gay bars.

BetterThanThou · 16-02-2015 3:52pm #1

Alright, pretty much, I'm 18 and only came out a few months ago, I've stayed totally away from the gay scene so far, partially because I'm not sure if I'd like it and partially because none of my friends are willing to go to a gay bar with me. Not because they're homophobic or anything, they're all very supportive, they just don't like the idea of going to a gay bar. But, anyway, I've decided I might as well bite the bullet and head to a gay bar on my own and see what happens, as I've had very little luck meeting anyone through other means. I'm 18 and I like people my own age, I wouldn't go for anyone older than 21 or 22, and even that's pushing it a little. Stereotypical gay men aren't my cup of tea, the type that are super camp and act like girls, don't get me wrong, if that's how they want to act, I fully support them, I'm just not attracted to it and don't tend to get along with people like that.
So could anyone recommend what gay bar I should go to? I understand gay bars have a host of different people, with varying ages and personalities. But which one is most likely to have gay men my age who aren't overly feminine?

Annasopra · 16-02-2015 4:09pm

What about going along to the meetup planned here for 28th February?

L1011 · 16-02-2015 4:17pm

There aren't a huge amount of out 18-22 year olds and hence there's never very many of them in any gay bars. Student club nights (midweek) would be far and away the most likely place rather than any weekend nights / permanent bars.

Deranged96 · 16-02-2015 9:27pm

GO GO GO to a club.
I'm 18 like yourself but not out and from the darkest depths of the country. If I was in a position to go to a club I'd be there like a flash just to experience something with some semblance of normality. Don't know anything about "the scene" but if you're flying solo keep your wits about you

BetterThanThou · 16-02-2015 9:43pm

Thanks for the replies. A gay student night sounds like heaven, I looked some up, but all I can find is an outdated webpage from a few years ago. Could anyone recommend me some? Or a website where I might find such information? Thank you!

ninty9er · 16-02-2015 9:44pm

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. A gay student night sounds like heaven, I looked some up, but all I can find is an outdated webpage from a few years ago. Could anyone recommend me some? Or a website where I might find such information? Thank you!

PRHomo - 4 Dame Lane on Thursdays

jobbridge4life · 17-02-2015 10:49am

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Stereotypical gay men aren't my cup of tea, the type that are super camp and act like girls, don't get me wrong, if that's how they want to act, I fully support them, I'm just not attracted to it and don't tend to get along with people like that.

How many chickens cluck their way out of the closet singing that old tune?

Prhomo is probably the best for you given what you have described. I was going to recommend War as a non-exclusively gay place but I see from their twitter it is about to stop.

Aard · 17-02-2015 1:19pm

jobbridge4life wrote: »

How many chickens cluck their way out of the closet singing that old tune?
.

Give him a break - he's 18.

jobbridge4life · 17-02-2015 1:22pm

Aard wrote: »

Give him a break - he's 18.

Eh

I hardly attacked him?

Ash885 · 17-02-2015 4:56pm

jobbridge4life wrote: »

Eh I hardly attacked him?

Job had a point. People get all elitist with regards to camp as if "they're annoying gays". Some of the most friendlist people I've met in gay bars are extremely camp in the traditional sense. Some of the nastiest ones I've met have been camp. You can't group people together because of mannerisms, it depends on the person. Don't dismiss people from the get go on pre-concieved ideas.

If people want to make new friends and from the get go are looking for specific types you're in for a lonely spell. Go on any of the nights out you can; chances are if you're in that club there's a likely possiblity someone on your wave length can be there too.

floggg · 17-02-2015 5:21pm

Ash885 wrote: »

Job had a point. People get all elitist with regards to camp as if "they're annoying gays". Some of the most friendlist people I've met in gay bars are extremely camp in the traditional sense. Some of the nastiest ones I've met have been camp. You can't group people together because of mannerisms, it depends on the person. Don't dismiss people from the get go on pre-concieved ideas.

If people want to make new friends and from the get go are looking for specific types you're in for a lonely spell. Go on any of the nights out you can; chances are if you're in that club there's a likely possiblity someone on your wave length can be there too.

Also, if you go in someplace with pre conceived notions of the people you don't want to socialise with, it makes it much more difficult to meet the ones you do want to.

You end up dismissing people because of superficial reasons, you miss them because you are too busy avoiding their friends, or your attitude puts people off.

The only effective way to meet people you have something in common with is to meet people full stop. You won't click with the vast majority you do meet, but the more people you meet the better chance you will click with some of them.

Also, you might just find you click with or fall for somebody who you thought would never be your type.

I went with on a date with a guy a few years back even though I had doubts about whether he was my type, and now we are planning our wedding!

eviltwin · 17-02-2015 5:49pm

OP I'd bite the bullet and go to a club on your own and see what happens. Last year I ended up going to a gay club by myself, a friend I was meant to meet cancelled last minute and as we had tickets to a show I didn't want to waste them so I just went along by myself. I've never done anything like that before and wouldn't have done it if I hadn't already been in town and yeah it felt a bit odd at first but by the end of the night I was sitting down chatting to couple of people I met at the bar having a grand old time of it.

Just go and you never know where it might lead, if its not working out you can always put it down to experience and leave. Your only 18, go out and have fun and don't be waiting for your friends to come round to the idea. Even if you just go in for one drink and sit at the bar and people watch until you get a bit more confident it will help. There's always the regular meetups organised here as well if that might be an option.

Daith · 18-02-2015 9:25am

I would suggest going to Pantibar on a Saturday for the show. You can look at the crowd (though it will be older than you mostly) but can just focus on the show.

You also probably won't feel as self-conscious by yourself. Instead of standing around with a drink, you can watch the show.

Just a little Samba · 18-02-2015 11:06am

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Alright, pretty much, I'm 18 and only came out a few months ago, I've stayed totally away from the gay scene so far, partially because I'm not sure if I'd like it and partially because none of my friends are willing to go to a gay bar with me. Not because they're homophobic or anything, they're all very supportive, they just don't like the idea of going to a gay bar. But, anyway, I've decided I might as well bite the bullet and head to a gay bar on my own and see what happens, as I've had very little luck meeting anyone through other means. I'm 18 and I like people my own age, I wouldn't go for anyone older than 21 or 22, and even that's pushing it a little. Stereotypical gay men aren't my cup of tea, the type that are super camp and act like girls, don't get me wrong, if that's how they want to act, I fully support them, I'm just not attracted to it and don't tend to get along with people like that.
So could anyone recommend what gay bar I should go to? I understand gay bars have a host of different people, with varying ages and personalities. But which one is most likely to have gay men my age who aren't overly feminine?

Are you a student?
If so have you joined the LGBT society in your college?
If not, why?
Joining the society will help you make some "gay friends" who might be more up for visiting clubs/bars with you and might make the whole experience a bit easier. It's also just a nice support to have with people around your age facing the same issues as yourself.

Failing that, ask a female friend or two to go with you? Straight females seem to find the whole going to a gay bar thing a lot easier than straight males for some reason.

Ash885 · 18-02-2015 3:47pm

Daith wrote: »

I would suggest going to Pantibar on a Saturday for the show. You can look at the crowd (though it will be older than you mostly) but can just focus on the show.

You also probably won't feel as self-conscious by yourself. Instead of standing around with a drink, you can watch the show.

What's the story with the show on Saturday now Panti is touring?

Just a little Samba · 18-02-2015 3:48pm

Ash885 wrote: »

What's the story with the show on Saturday now Panti is touring?

It'll just be someone else I'd imagine?

Daith · 19-02-2015 8:43am

Ash885 wrote: »

What's the story with the show on Saturday now Panti is touring?

Someone else does it. Normally Bunny (who I prefer to Panti!)

baby and crumble · 19-02-2015 11:01am

Daith wrote: »

Someone else does it. Normally Bunny (who I prefer to Panti!)

Yeah probably Bunny (who is awesome) and Blaithnead.

OP, my advice to you is to join either your college LGBT soc if you're in college, or pop along to BelongTo. They're a youth group for 14-23 year olds, so you're smack bang in their age range! They seem to do brilliant stuff. I just wish they'd been around when I was your age!

Most of the gay bars cater for an older crowd I think, especially with the demise of Dragon. Panti is definitely a much older crowd than I think you're looking for, and I'd imagine the George is the same but I haven't been out there in years!

jobbridge4life · 19-02-2015 11:03am

George tends to have quite a young crowd in my experience.

JupiterKid · 20-02-2015 1:44am

Is the Dragon gone? That's an awful shame.:(

Aard · 20-02-2015 2:22am

It was recently sold. I'd be surprised if it reopened as a gay bar.

eviltwin · 20-02-2015 9:33am

JupiterKid wrote: »

Is the Dragon gone? That's an awful shame.:(

Think they have a monthly night in Break for the Border

jobbridge4life · 20-02-2015 11:09am

Aard wrote: »

It was recently sold. I'd be surprised if it reopened as a gay bar.

Apparently it isn't. Being reopened as a bar restaurant thing. I say we launch a snogupation.

JH_raheny · 20-02-2015 2:22pm

Plenty of young guys in the club side of the george, jurassic park side is probably not your cup of tea

Just a little Samba · 20-02-2015 2:42pm

Oh, just thinking of it now, but the WAR club night is usually a fairly high ratio of gay/bi guys and girls. Seems to be kind of a magnet for gay people between 18 and 22ish despite not being marketed as a gay club night.

jobbridge4life · 20-02-2015 3:24pm

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Oh, just thinking of it now, but the WAR club night is usually a fairly high ratio of gay/bi guys and girls. Seems to be kind of a magnet for gay people between 18 and 22ish despite not being marketed as a gay club night.

Yeah but as I said above it is closing. Think tonight is the last night.

ongarboy · 20-02-2015 4:39pm

I highly recommend Sweatbox on Eustace Street in Temple Bar (next to Mezz) on Friday nights if you like your house music...I've met a lot of really nice and friendly people there!

qweerty · 20-02-2015 9:37pm

I read on Dragon's FB (I think) that they're closing but will reopen following renovation. Were they being misleading, then, and it's in fact going to reopen as a non-gay bar?

20-02-2015 10:03pm

jobbridge4life wrote: »

Yeah but as I said above it is closing. Think tonight is the last night.

Awww I remember I went to WAR once, way back in 2010 when I was visiting an old friend in Dublin. As a shy young fella who hardly ever went out I had a great night there, made me wish I lived in Dublin. Shame to hear it's gone.

ongarboy wrote: »

I highly recommend Sweatbox on Eustace Street in Temple Bar (next to Mezz) on Friday nights if you like your house music...I've met a lot of really nice and friendly people there!

That sounds like an ok night actually.....I'm looking for somewhere to try in Dublin (am mid-twenties, so ancient compared to the OP!)

I really like the sound of Mother but I've never gone "out out" by myself before though; do people do that? Or would I stick out like a sore thumb?

Ash885 · 20-02-2015 11:39pm

^ Never been to Mother either so I'm really wanting to try it. And likewise, all my mates have only gotten into relationships so I'll be heading like Billy No Mates but I'm guessing it's a common enough thing to do? Here's hoping anyway hah.

21-02-2015 10:17pm

Ash885 wrote: »

^ Never been to Mother either so I'm really wanting to try it. And likewise, all my mates have only gotten into relationships so I'll be heading like Billy No Mates but I'm guessing it's a common enough thing to do? Here's hoping anyway hah.

Yeah I guess it's not exactly unheard of. I'd probably be able to go out solo if I was more confident, less cynical and less self-deprecating, I imagine it's quite liberating and cool to strike up conversations with randomers; sadly I don't quite have those social superpowers at the moment!

ninty9er wrote: »

PRHomo - 4 Dame Lane on Thursdays

This is possibly a stupid question but is PrHomo specifically a student night or is it open to non-students (aka oldies) too?

bb1234567 · 22-02-2015 2:34pm

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Alright, pretty much, I'm 18 and only came out a few months ago, I've stayed totally away from the gay scene so far, partially because I'm not sure if I'd like it and partially because none of my friends are willing to go to a gay bar with me. Not because they're homophobic or anything, they're all very supportive, they just don't like the idea of going to a gay bar. But, anyway, I've decided I might as well bite the bullet and head to a gay bar on my own and see what happens, as I've had very little luck meeting anyone through other means. I'm 18 and I like people my own age, I wouldn't go for anyone older than 21 or 22, and even that's pushing it a little. Stereotypical gay men aren't my cup of tea, the type that are super camp and act like girls, don't get me wrong, if that's how they want to act, I fully support them, I'm just not attracted to it and don't tend to get along with people like that.
So could anyone recommend what gay bar I should go to? I understand gay bars have a host of different people, with varying ages and personalities. But which one is most likely to have gay men my age who aren't overly feminine?

If I had a euro for every time Ive heard a gay man say this line almost word for word...

bb1234567 · 22-02-2015 2:39pm

Aard wrote: »

Give him a break - he's 18.

Im also 18 and think its very immature to tar all 'feminine' men with the same brush...as gay people we are a small marginalised enough community without adding further discrimination within our own group.

bb1234567 · 22-02-2015 2:42pm

Just a little Samba wrote: »

Are you a student?
If so have you joined the LGBT society in your college?
If not, why?
Joining the society will help you make some "gay friends" who might be more up for visiting clubs/bars with you and might make the whole experience a bit easier. It's also just a nice support to have with people around your age facing the same issues as yourself.

Failing that, ask a female friend or two to go with you? Straight females seem to find the whole going to a gay bar thing a lot easier than straight males for some reason.

Because most women aren't crippled by the same fear of being labelled homosexual as most these macho fellas yanno

qweerty · 22-02-2015 3:26pm

bb1234567 wrote: »

Im also 18 and think its very immature to tar all 'feminine' men with the same brush...as gay people we are a small marginalised enough community without adding further discrimination within our own group.

I was saying that at 22. I think it's pretty understandable that one, who has spent much of their adolescence consciously or subconsciously trying to avoid or suppress anything that may link them to their sexuality, would do that. In my case, I have since diagnosed the feelings of unease and displeasure that I had when in the company of camp guys as self-loathing and envy.

Of course, this is rather patronising to the OP: it mightn't be the case that he has yet to mature.

Aard · 22-02-2015 6:10pm

bb1234567 wrote: »

Im also 18 and think its very immature to tar all 'feminine' men with the same brush...as gay people we are a small marginalised enough community without adding further discrimination within our own group.

I don't think the OP was tarring feminine men with anything tbh. Maybe (understandably?) he isn't sure about what the atmosphere of gay bars is like and is just trying to find people he identifies with.

I think this hullabaloo says more about the people who take issue with the OP's comment than the OP himself.

floggg · 23-02-2015 3:14pm

Aard wrote: »

I don't think the OP was tarring feminine men with anything tbh. Maybe (understandably?) he isn't sure about what the atmosphere of gay bars is like and is just trying to find people he identifies with.

I think this hullabaloo says more about the people who take issue with the OP's comment than the OP himself.

It's not really about taking issue with his comments, but trying to educate him.

Lots of us had really naive ideas about what gay men actually were like when first coming out, or the types of gay people we wanted to associate with, so it's understandable that he thinks that way.

With the benefit of hindsight we can realise how naive and sometimes stupid those ideas were, and so we are trying do him a favour by letting him know the benefit of our experiences.

I know my own experiences might have been easier if I had been disabused of my stupid notions about homosexuality at an earlier age.

Dublin gay bars.

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