Pavee point in common sense shocker!

TravellerGirl

Maguined wrote: »

Do you think this is mostly based on religious values within the traveller community? That a woman having multiple partners in her life is sinful as the Church believes or is it just a cultural moral issue in the community?

Do you mind if I ask are you religious and would you share these same opinions that it is wrong for a woman to have sex outside marriage? Would you be willing to give more detail about why you think it is wrong if that is the case?

Em I dont know. I think its both, because you don't want your family or the Catholic church. I think that it has an awful lot too do with your faith aas well.

I have a great deal of faith I just lost it for awhile. I am religious and I believe in everything no doubt about that. I don't think its wrong it just depends on the situation I think. I lost my virginity to my fiance but that was when I moved in with him. But I would never go behind my mothers back and be at home while I was having sex with him.

TravellerGirl

eviltwin wrote: »

What if your kids are gay? How is that treated in the community?

I wouldn't treat my child different but I can't say the same for my fiance. I would love my child no matter what.

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

Id be worried that she'd pick up wrong information so Id rather have the talk to ensure she wasnt being put wrong if you know what I mean. (whatever about level of information given).

Do you have any settled friends?
Are there aspects of settled society you have questions about?

Oh I think that I would get leaflets or leave her read it on a proper web page. I wouldn't talk to het about it if she didn't want me to. I have settled friends that I talk to when I see but I don't mingle with them.

eviltwin

TravellerGirl wrote: »

I wouldn't treat my child different but I can't say the same for my fiance. I would love my child no matter what.

Another question and its a lighthearted one but where did the fashion for neon colours, bling and really big wedding/communion dresses come from?

Little CuChulainn

TravellerGirl wrote: »

I wouldn't treat my child different but I can't say the same for my fiance. I would love my child no matter what.

I'd be interested to know if you know any openly gay travellers. I met one before and his community didn't seem to know how to deal with him. Some were hostile to him but many just seemed to work on a don't ask don't tell policy. They'd all just pretend he was straight.

TravellerGirl

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Thanks TG. Saw your reply.

You're only one person the same as myself, and you seem to have a slightly more progressive attitude than the travelers people are giving out about.

On the topic of education though, your mother didn't discuss sex education or reproductive health with you. That can't have been easy for you. So would you discuss reproduction and health if you had a daughter?

No she didn't. It wasn't but I learned from sex education and my friends. I would speak to her in detail but not too the point of embarrassing her.

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

I wouldn't treat my child different but I can't say the same for my fiance. I would love my child no matter what.

I was at a gay rights march last year and they had a traveller speaker, a young lad. He was supported by LGBT Pavee - so there are definitely some supports out there. He spoke on a public stage and kissed his boyfriend afterwards.

TravellerGirl

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

I think it's more to do with indoctrination in travellers. Traveller women are considered third class citizens within their own culture. The only way they can elevate themselves class is by getting married and having kids. A traveller woman knows that if her daughter acts outside the rules she will be treated badly by her community so they encourage their daughters to follow in their image. It's hard not to have sympathy for most traveller women.

Traveller women ain't treated like a third class citizen. Sure where would a man be without a woman and his children.

Traveller women want their daughters to turn out well because they know that their will be talk. But as I say let them talk because when they are done talking about me they will talk about another poor soul. I know how it feels.

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

I was at a gay rights march last year and they had a traveller speaker, a young lad. He was supported by LGBT Pavee - so there are definitely some supports out there. He spoke on a public stage and kissed his boyfriend afterwards.

Well you know what I'mhappy about that.

El_Duderino 09

Just saw your reply shenshen about educating your daughter so thanks for that.

I suppose what I'm really wondering is about when your culture leads to bad outcomes. Lack of sex education leads to lots of negative outcomes. You would talk to your daughter even though it goes against your culture. I would see that as progress. There must be lots of ways for travelers to modernise and improve their lives without going against their culture.

Do you think more travelers will modernise like you? More importantly, what do you think will happen if travelers don't modernise?

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

Well you know what I'mhappy about that.

Yeah it was cool. He was also the youngest speaker by far so he had a lot to be proud of that day - the crowd was about 5000 people so it cant have been easy for him to get up there and talk! He got big cheers.

Neyite

Wibbs wrote: »

It really is fascinating as a surviving pocket of an Ireland from a couple of generations back. I'm old enough to remember the last of it and back then sex education for boys and girls would have been like TG describes, near minimal and no way would periods have been discussed. I can't remember seeing adverts for tampax and the like on Irish TV until well into the late 80's. It just wasn't up for discussion.

Me too. My mother was only progressive because of her own experience of the shock she got when she got her period. She thought she was dying, and swore that she would always try to explain as best she could. But I do have friends who's parents never broached it - they learned from peers or in a class in school.

TravellerGirl

eviltwin wrote: »

Another question and its a lighthearted one but where did the fashion for neon colours, bling and really big wedding/communion dresses come from?

Ha I don't know tbh. If you looked back 10/12 years ago it wasnt like that but nowadays its different. Some go overboard where I like something different. I like my bling and neon colours but I keep that for weddings and doos.

But I will have a big wedding dress when I get married. Thats something I will hold onto.

Little CuChulainn

TravellerGirl wrote: »

Traveller women ain't treated like a third class citizen. Sure where would a man be without a woman and his children.

Traveller women want their daughters to turn out well because they know that their will be talk. But as I say let them talk because when they are done talking about me they will talk about another poor soul. I know how it feels.

I think it's unfortunate that you can't see that even you yourself has been treated as a lesser person. But that is what indoctrination does. You yourself have even told us that your opinion is second to your partners, and you are one of the more progressive travellers. Many traveller women are treated like nothing more than outlets for rage and sexual relief for their man.

TravellerGirl

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

I'd be interested to know if you know any openly gay travellers. I met one before and his community didn't seem to know how to deal with him. Some were hostile to him but many just seemed to work on a don't ask don't tell policy. They'd all just pretend he was straight.

No I don't no any personally but I have heard of some.

Maguined

TravellerGirl wrote: »

Em I dont know. I think its both, because you don't want your family or the Catholic church. I think that it has an awful lot too do with your faith aas well.

I have a great deal of faith I just lost it for awhile. I am religious and I believe in everything no doubt about that. I don't think its wrong it just depends on the situation I think. I lost my virginity to my fiance but that was when I moved in with him. But I would never go behind my mothers back and be at home while I was having sex with him.

Thanks for answering.

Would I be right in thinking when you say it's not wrong it just depends on the situation you mean committment/love? You said your grandmother will not talk to you because you are living with your fiance already so she would of wanted you to be married first before living with him? So the only generations want marriage first.

However in your situation you had decided you were already comitted to your now fiance and had decided you loved him so it was okay for you to lose your virginity and move in with him before marriage. As you feel you already have that connection you did not have to wait for the official marriage.

Did I get that right? Would you feel the wrong situation would be if a woman was having with a man without that love/commitment? If one of your cousins close to your own age told you she was having sex with a traveller man but neither wanted to get married, they were only doing it for the fun would you feel she was doing wrong? Would this affect your view of her and your friendship?

I apologise if these question feel too personal or prying into your life however your own personal view on traveller culture is far more honest and interesting than anything I will ever see on TV or newspapers.

TravellerGirl

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

I think it's unfortunate that you can't see that even you yourself has been treated as a lesser person. But that is what indoctrination does. You yourself have even told us that your opinion is second to your partners, and you are one of the more progressive travellers. Many traveller women are treated like nothing more than outlets for rage and sexual relief for their man.

My fiance doesn't take his anger or sexual relief out on me at all. If hes angry he talks to me about it or goes out to the punching bag.

Neyite

Ooh, I've another one:

Fidelity is very important to the women of the community, but would the men feel similar - eg. that its important to them to have one life partner, or is it permissible/acceptable for them to have had multiple partners before marriage?

Would a male caught cheating on his wife suffer the same social ostracisationthat a woman cheating on her husband would?

MrWalsh

Traveller Girl, please please do an An Me Anything thread - you are SO interesting! Ive a million things I could ask you - did you ever know youd have such a captive audience!!

Little CuChulainn

TravellerGirl wrote: »

My fiance doesn't take his anger or sexual relief out on me at all. If hes angry he talks to me about it or goes out to the punching bag.

Like I said, you appear to be more progressive than most and have avoided that life but there are still many that are not so lucky. Fortunately there is an ever increasing amount of them using the domestic violence legislation in place in this country.

TravellerGirl

Maguined wrote: »

Thanks for answering.

Would I be right in thinking when you say it's not wrong it just depends on the situation you mean committment/love? You said your grandmother will not talk to you because you are living with your fiance already so she would of wanted you to be married first before living with him? So the only generations want marriage first.

However in your situation you had decided you were already comitted to your now fiance and had decided you loved him so it was okay for you to lose your virginity and move in with him before marriage. As you feel you already have that connection you did not have to wait for the official marriage.

Did I get that right? Would you feel the wrong situation would be if a woman was having with a man without that love/commitment? If one of your cousins close to your own age told you she was having sex with a traveller man but neither wanted to get married, they were only doing it for the fun would you feel she was doing wrong? Would this affect your view of her and your friendship?

I apologise if these question feel too personal or prying into your life however your own personal view on traveller culture is far more honest and interesting than anything I will ever see on TV or newspapers.

I think if you both love and commit to each other then it Is ok. But I would never give that advice to a Traveller girl just in case the man was using her. You would be blamed for ruining her life.
My grandmother will not speak to me but I don't care nomore.

I had that connection and commitment from my fiance so I wholeheartedly trust him.

If my cousin told me that I wouldn't speak to her again becaus I wasnt getting blamed for anything or being talked about.

TravellerGirl

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Like I said, you appear to be more progressive than most and have avoided that life but there are still many that are not so lucky. Fortunately there is an ever increasing amount of them using the domestic violence legislation in place in this country.

I haven't got a perfect life when we are both in our tempers we both lash out at each other and I know its not nice or fair.

eviltwin

TravellerGirl wrote: »

I think if you both love and commit to each other then it Is ok. But I would never give that advice to a Traveller girl just in case the man was using her. You would be blamed for ruining her life.
My grandmother will not speak to me but I don't care nomore.

I had that connection and commitment from my fiance so I wholeheartedly trust him.

If my cousin told me that I wouldn't speak to her again becaus I wasnt getting blamed for anything or being talked about.

If you were single would you ever date a settled man? If not, why not?

TravellerGirl

MrWalsh wrote: »

Traveller Girl, please please do an An Me Anything thread - you are SO interesting! Ive a million things I could ask you - did you ever know youd have such a captive audience!!

Thank you but I dont think I would do it. I have eenough of being attacked here. Ask away. Are u a man or woman anyway.

TravellerGirl

eviltwin wrote: »

If you were single would you ever date a settled man? If not, why not?

No I wouldnt, because I would be afraid of them leaving me.

Neyite

MrWalsh wrote: »

Traveller Girl, please please do an An Me Anything thread - you are SO interesting! Ive a million things I could ask you - did you ever know youd have such a captive audience!!

This is the AMA forum Traveller Girl. Its a questions and answer forum where you are free to ignore any questions you prefer not to answer.

Edit: Sorry, just saw you wouldnt be comfortable with an AMA.:)

TravellerGirl

Neyite wrote: »

Ooh, I've another one:

Fidelity is very important to the women of the community, but would the men feel similar - eg. that its important to them to have one life partner, or is it permissible/acceptable for them to have had multiple partners before marriage?

Would a male caught cheating on his wife suffer the same social ostracisationthat a woman cheating on her husband would?

My cousin left his wife for another woman and now his family will not speak to him at all. They are done with him.

Donkey Oaty

TravellerGirl wrote: »

No I wouldnt, because I would be afraid of them leaving me.

If a settled person said they would never date a traveller, would you consider that prejudiced - or would it depend on the reason?

TravellerGirl

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

If a settled person said they would never date a traveller, would you consider that prejudiced - or would it depend on the reason?

No I don't because I can say that I wouldnt date a settled man. So theresno difference

MrWalsh

TravellerGirl wrote: »

Thank you but I dont think I would do it. I have eenough of being attacked here. Ask away. Are u a man or woman anyway.

Well you would only have to answer what you wanted, and Im pretty sure that if people like me and others asking genuine curious questions were also posting on it it would cut down on the eejits!

Im a married woman in my 40s. I dont have kids and I dont want to have kids. I lived with my husband before we got married. I only got married 6 years ago. I never lived with another man but I did have other "serious" boyfriends.

I think its fascinating being able to ask you things because (like most people) I just wouldnt have any access to a real life traveller to ask things of!