Someone please help

ceecee14

My 5 month old has decided she won't take naps anymore or go to bed or be put down for 2 minutes for that matter. I really don't know what to do. She is screaming the house down for most of the day. She was a brilliant sleeper until I moved her into her cot then it all went downhill. She's teething but can teeth disrupt them this much? I'm at my wits end. It was after 12 before she would go to bed for me and no doubt she will wake 100 times. Is this normal? I'm a young mammy and obviously very tired and emotionally drained.

Delphinium

Something freaked her out, probably the newness of the cot. Or the screaming could be unrelated to this and caused by pain or discomfort. Time to see your doctor or health nurse to rule out any illness or other reason.

Flippyfloppy

Hi there. It can be hard when our wee ones are so upset and nothing we do seems to calm them!
Can you move baby back to their original sleeping arrangement? Have you tried calpol, teetha and bonjela? Checked for a temperature? Sometimes teething can leave the little bubs susceptible to other things as their immune systems down so could be something like an ear infection. Has baby started solids yet?

ceecee14

Delphinium wrote: »

Something freaked her out, probably the newness of the cot. Or the screaming could be unrelated to this and caused by pain or discomfort. Time to see your doctor or health nurse to rule out any illness or other reason.

I don't think it's pain,I give her calpol regularly and bonjella for her teeth. She suffers from colic /reflux and is on gaviscon. I suppose a trip to the doctor wouldn't hurt. Thanks

ceecee14

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

Hi there. It can be hard when our wee ones are so upset and nothing we do seems to calm them!
Can you move baby back to their original sleeping arrangement? Have you tried calpol, teetha and bonjela? Checked for a temperature? Sometimes teething can leave the little bubs susceptible to other things as their immune systems down so could be something like an ear infection. Has baby started solids yet?

Hi thanks for your reply. She was in a moses basket and is way too big for it now so can't change back I give her calpol every 4 hours and bonjella regularly. I started her on solids a few weeks ago because she totally went off her bottles. She loves her grub and has even started drinking most of her bottles now. I really don't think she's in pain because when I pick her up she is fine. Seems like she just never wants to put down not even for a second. I'm struggling to make her bottles or even go to the loo!!

mirrorwall14

ceecee14 wrote: »

Hi thanks for your reply. She was in a moses basket and is way too big for it now so can't change back I give her calpol every 4 hours and bonjella regularly. I started her on solids a few weeks ago because she totally went off her bottles. She loves her grub and has even started drinking most of her bottles now. I really don't think she's in pain because when I pick her up she is fine. Seems like she just never wants to put down not even for a second. I'm struggling to make her bottles or even go to the loo!!

Can you swaddle? And make sure her feet are at the bottom of the cot? The extra space could be freaking her out a bit. Have you a sling or access to one? She might nod off in it since she'd be close to you and it would give you some hands free time too

cyning

If you are giving calpol that regularly you need to go to GP I think. Sometimes with refluxy babies too the calpol can aggravate the tummy so it may not be helping matters: until 8/9 months here one dose of calpol equalled hours of moaning and crying.

Have you tried tilting the head of the cot to see if that helps?

These things do pass, they are soul destroying when you are in the middle of them, but they do pass. I found a sling a lifesaver for the clingy phase: at least I could get stuff done.

Queen-Mise

Teetha is excellent - it is homeopathic and is a powder you pour in the child's mouth. I never liked Bonjela - found it awful for teething.

When using the Teetha sachets - I only used a fraction of the painkillers I'd have used otherwise. Also I always found Nurofen better than Calpol.

If the child stops crying immediately after picking them up, then it isn't pain anywhere that is the problem.
I used to give both kids 10 mins crying time - if I thought they were sucking, I leave them back down and let them cry it out. It might take five, six, seven mins for them to cry the anger out - but then you would hear them begin to quieten down & sleep.
They were times it was the most horrible thing in the world to do to let them cry, I used to count down minutes and seconds sometimes. At the same time they can't live in your arms.
And if they were crying still after ten minutes then you knew it was something really bothering them. You become better though at telling the crying apart though.

Stick to a routine as much as you can. Putting them down for a nap roughly same time. Morning bottle etc. The buggy or a drive in the car is a good way to get them asleep also. Make sure they are wrapped up warm, and not in fog.

And finally - you are doing ok. Babies are damn hard work. You are nearly out of the most hardest bit. As they get bigger and sturdier, it does become easier.

vonievega

The poor little girl. Let her sleep with you. Wrap her up nice and cosy not too tight but babies get comfort from the feeling of security. Use those cotton blankets she won't get too hot. Like she was in the womb. Give her a dummy. and rock her off to sleep by singing. Hop into bed with her. If needs be keep her in your arms until she is sound. Then lay her down next to you. She will like the comfort of your body heat.It won't last forever. Give her time to adjust. Move her into a cot in the summer. You could rub some bonjella on her gums if you think she is teething.
It is tiring .... your both learning...keep her in your arms..she'll soon be off to play school. ..

ComfortKid

Don't give in. persevere with the cot. It's just a phase. If you put her in your bed you will find it VERY hard to get her out of the habit.

pwurple

She sounds like she has gotten into an overtired cycle. They sometimes get so overtired they can't get to sleep and just scream instead! A 5 month old would normally be taking 2 or 3 naps a day, lasting 45 mins to 1 hr each.

What is/was your nap routine like? Does she sleep for you in the car, buggy on a walk, bouncy chair?

Any sleep aids like a small blanket that smells like you, or a teddy bear that she likes to hold onto? Does she use a soother?


Rule out sickness of course with a temperature check, but if she's fine, I'd try really hard to get the naps back. Even if it means temporarily going for a walk or a drive when she needs a nap. Babies get super-grouchy without naps!

effibear

There is a sleep regression around this age. I can't post links but Google 4/5 month sleep refression. Also check out the wonder weeks app. The baskets are nice and enclosed so they may be they need a grobag to mimic this in he cot. You mentioned that you just started solids maybe keep a food diary to make sure nothing is aggravating this. Needing to give calpol every four hours is not normal you should probably go to the doc to rule out anything else.

Flippyfloppy

Yes definitely go to the doctor to check up. I echo pps advice about using a grobag to help baby feel snug.

Also a food diary is a great idea. Carbs and protein are a good meal before bed as they last longer in the tummy. Also just want to point out that there are stronger meds available for reflux, however usually reflux eases a bit once you start solids.

It could be the beginning of seperation anxiety, however your choice about whether to co-sleep verses cry it out is definitely a very personal choice, usually relating to your own life experiences to date! So don't feel pressure to do one or the other, just do what you feel comfortable with!

ceecee14

Thanks everyone for the replys. The last few days to get her to nap I've been going walking with her, it does make her go to sleep, I definitely make sure she naps enough it's just she screams holy murder even putting her into buggy now because she knows I'm trying to make her nap.I use a grobag at night also. I definitely don't want to co sleep because I'm waking every 5 mins checking on her making sure the covers aren't over her and she's not too hot so that leaves me exhausted the next day. Ya I'd say I will have to go to the doctor just to make sure there is nothing wrong. My mother reckons she is just getting too cute and wants to be up all the time. I couldn't leave her cry it out. My heart breaks when shes crys and I often end up crying too.
The build up of tiredness sounds like what's wrong with her and separation anxiety. It's just so hard to get anything done. I have a sling but haven't tried it yet. I'll try that out and see how she is. She is teething mad though so just thought this was the teeth.I never had a set routine during the day for naps but since she started solids I feed her at the same time everyday. She had a brilliant night routine till I moved her into a cot. She used to go down at 8 sometimes wake at 4 and up then at 8 or 9. Now I'm lucky to get her to sleep at 12. She has a dummy but won't take it all the last few days. I'll just have to soldier on and hope this passes.

Flippyfloppy

I'm not sure If you're already doing this but a golden piece of advice a sleep trainer once gave me is to put baby down for a sleep as soon as you see the first yawn. Defo sounds like a combo of teeth - cuteness - overtiredness!

ceecee14

Ya I definitely try to but then she could scream for an hour before actually going to sleep. I Googled the sleep regression. She is definitely going through that. She's a little rogue and knows what she wants already haha

pwurple

My smallest started the separation anxiety around that age as well. It passes! Hang in there!

ceecee14

Thank you. Just as long as it's a phase and this doesn't last forever haha

Funnymuffin

Honestly, sometimes you have to lay em down in their beds, shut the door and sit down.....take a few deep breathes, cry if you have to but remember, you are not a bad mom for needing a few minutes to build up your reserve. She's going to cry, probably for a good bit, use your judgement if she gets too worked up...cuddle her and lay her back down...talk softly... Try it out, eventually she'll be down longer and longer till she sleeps. I would definitely see the GP if she's in that much pain. Swaddling is also good, gro bag did wonders for mine. thats good she is eating. Even though you're a new mom you still have mother natures maternal instincts when it comes to your off spring... Trust yourself..good luck

ceecee14

Thank you. I will try but I'll probably fail. I have her christening this month and she will be staying at my mothers the night of so I'm hoping to get her back into some kind of routine before then as it would be very unfair for my mam to have to listen to her roaring and staying up till all hours with her.

cbyrd

ceecee14 wrote:

Hi thanks for your reply. She was in a moses basket and is way too big for it now so can't change back  I give her calpol every 4 hours and bonjella regularly. I started her on solids a few weeks ago because she totally went off her bottles. She loves her grub and has even started drinking most of her bottles now. I really don't think she's in pain because when I pick her up she is fine. Seems like she just never wants to put down not even for a second. I'm struggling to make her bottles or even go to the loo!!

When you changed her over to the cot she probably got a bit freaked out, maybe try putting the moses basket into the cot for a few nights and let her gradually get used to it.
I know it's a stage they go through and if you are confident that she's not in pain, no dirty nappy, no wind then I would let her cry for a minute or 2 before picking her up. It's the only way they can communicate either pain or discomfort is to cry..But they do it when bored too! Check sometimes when you pick her up if there's tears, they're clever little things.. It's okay when they're tiny, but my now 3 year old lived on my hip til he was about 18 months. lucky for me he was really light

ceecee14

Ya she's definitely not light Lol. She's about 20 pounds if not more so carrying her around is tough work. She won't even fit into the basket anymore. Ya I just think she's getting too cute. She works herself into a state though if you leave her.

RentDayBlues

ceecee14 wrote: »

Ya she's definitely not light Lol. She's about 20 pounds if not more so carrying her around is tough work. She won't even fit into the basket anymore. Ya I just think she's getting too cute. She works herself into a state though if you leave her.

Why not try controlled crying?
Start with 2 mins if you don't like letting her cry, this way she'll learn to settle herself

I did it with my 5 month old, she was getting so overtired and exhausted, she didnt know how to fall asleep solo. We started at 5 mins intervals and increased from there. Took 5 nights but it worked. Now at just under a year we put her down awake and she settles herself for naps and night time

clare82

Don't worry about not knowing what to do. ...nobody else knows either and that includes those with a rake of kids and grandkids....We are all just making it up as we go along so have faith in yourself. My dd has been a brat lately at night time and it's tough and frustrating but I def wouldn't advise letting her cry for more than 2 mins. People here may disagree but I def think it's far too stressful for a little person. I know you mentioned that you were anxious about co sleeping but have a quick look online about how to do it safely and see what you think.
Best of luck.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

What's DD

clare82

LexieOnRale wrote: »

What's DD

Darling/dear/dearest daughter

Although sometimes I think she's none of those things

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Pardon my ignorance, but what's wrong with just calling her "my daughter?"

clare82

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Pardon my ignorance, but what's wrong with just calling her "my daughter?"

Just an abbreviation, it's common enough on a lot of forums and Facebook group pages etc.

Moonbeam

Please refrain from using DD,DS,DP etc as per the forum charter.

ceecee14

Ya I just mentally can't leave her cry. It makes me so upset just listening to her. Ya I just don't know what happened her because she was going down awake and settling herself. I'm blaming the move to the cot for everything ha. I left her sleep with me last night and she went to sleep at 10 and didn't wake till 9 so I'd say I'll try co sleeping for a while if I don't get too tired ha

LegacyUser

I have a refluxy baby, didn't nap during the day. Reflux kept waking her. At about 15 weeks I'd had enough. Started putting her in her bed to sleep 2 hours after she last woke up. Religiously. I started with the morning nap. Every morning 2 hours after waking, we went upstairs, read a book, closed the curtains and went in the cot. It could take her ages to actually sleep, but after a couple of weeks she got the message and got in to the habit. She only ever really slept 40 mins at a time. So it was a nuisance for the rest of the day, because 2 hours after the 40 mins, I was aiming for sleep again (in the buggy or wherever). She got totally overtired in the early months though, mainly reflux related, and I had to work on a nap routine.

She's over 6 months now, much better daytime sleeper. But I have spent so much time sitting beside the cot, then outside the door. She was not coming out of the cot til she slept though, I had to stick with that battle. We had bad sleep regression at night 4/5 months for several weeks, but persevered. She did not come out of the cot (unless she had bad wind) and I didn't offer a bottle. Didn't leave her cry, soothed her a bit. It was torturous, but we got there, and it's worth it now.

I think you probably need to set up a nap routine, maybe concentrate on the morning or evening one first - try and make sure you're in for it every day and it happens in the same routine every day. About 2 hours after she last woke up is a rough guideline to follow. I found waiting til the tiredness signs let her go too far and she was impossible to settle. I sat beside her to get her to sleep for the first few weeks - now I put her in and leave her, but potter around outside til she's asleep. I went in and out a couple of times when we started if she got very upset. Maybe that's a step by step approach to take??

Good luck!!

ceecee14

The last few days I've started putting her for a nap 2 hours after she wakes no matter what and it's working thank god. I swaddled her last night for bed and guess what she slept the whole night. Woke twice for dummy and that was it. This morning I swaddled her for a nap 2 hours after she woke and she went to sleep no bother. I never swaddled before because they told me in the hospital not to. I will be doing it in future. Fingers crossed she keeps it up. Thank you everyone for yer advice
😀

pwurple

Awesome, delighted that's working better for you!

ComfortKid

The "experts" tell you lots of things you shouldn't do. I reckon most of the people writing these guidelines never had a child themselves.