Obese and need new thinking: suggestions?

If this is not the correct forum, please feel free to move it.

I'm utterly afflicted with the same old thinking about my weight. I have never been able to successfully conquer my old patterns of thinking despite the damage it continues to inflict on my health and happiness.

I'm some 40kg overweight, my diet is woeful. Every time I come home from work I'm completely exhausted. My thought process is very much "all of nothing" and I don't stop at one of anything. I eat crap food to get enough energy to finish the day and, of course, I never have the energy to go for a walk. Any time I have tried to cut my food to healthy portions I have been tired constantly and I cannot afford to be so exhausted.

I'm more conscious of my "man boobs" than ever and, above all else, I'm just so angry with myself for not being able to smash my old thinking and develop a new, healthy thought process.

It's a lovely fresh evening today and instead of being out living I'm at home exhausted, having slept most of the day. I know this is about willpower, but even when I have lost significant weight in the past, I've eventually fallen into my old thinking and piled on the weight faster than ever. I hate this prison my thinking has created for me. I'm an otherwise healthy man who will be dead unless he changes his thinking on this major life issue.

What can I do to get rid of this mentality and all its sheer stupidity for once and for all? I have tried hypnotism but it didn't work, or rather I would have had to spent near-on €1000 in all the sessions without any guarantee of it working. All constructive suggestions will be appreciated. Thank you.

anewme

Are you happy with the rest of your life?

What's your work life balance like?

I know when I was in a job I hated, doing long hours, with a long commute on public transport I piled on 2 stone in about 3 months. That was a 20% weight increase and was significant. I was eating crap because I was miserable and it was like groundhog day over and over. Looking back now, I was using food as a crutch because I was depressed. And I realise I would never have lost the weight until I personally was in a happier place.

It's clear from your post you are very angry with yourself. That's not helping at all. You need to stop this negativity towards yourself. You are where you are. You have a problem. You need to solve it. You are not going to solve it with anger. Weight loss is extremely difficult and relies a lot on focus and positive thinking. Mindset is everything.

mrsoundie

Well done for posting and trying to accept your position.

I suppose the big thing to get across, is that there is no magic bullet!

Try something like any time you feel hungry drink some water, don't give in to the urges straight away. Start a food diary, write down everything you eat, no matter how small. If you go shopping, eat something before you go, being hungry and food shopping is not good (I still forget this my self and let my eyes do the shopping).

Start small, don't rush in to anything, because the failures can be very big setbacks.

And no matter how tired you feel, get out and walk or any kind of exercise, it will be of benefit and eventually, you wont know yourself heading off for a walk every evening. (If you have a smart phone, load up your favourite music or even download a few audio books).

Good luck and keeps us informed to your progress.

Mellor

anamcheasta wrote: »

I eat crap food to get enough energy to finish the day.

You may believe this to be true. But it isn't. You aren't going to kneel over without energy and die.

What's a daily routine activity wise?

dellas1979

What I read from your post...

You say youve no energy to do anything - thats a complete cop out - youve actually more energy to burn than normal sized people (you are overweight/have it stored up in you!)

I am of the variety too OP, I could happily lie on a couch all day. On a day off. Honestly could. Like a pig in ****e. Am delighted. But I do feel less energy full.

Not everyone is mr/mrs Perky, when it comes to exercise. And that is ok. I never will!

What I do is I have to (consciously) remind myself of this (I have to do this) and make a decision, and am now in my gym gear about to go for a run this afternoon.

If you get up and move, youll feel fresher after. But you wont until you make a decision to get up and move.

Its your brain/your body.......your responsibility to look after yourself. And you need (at least once a day) consciously remind yourself of this. And see it as a positive, not a negative.

Oryx

Your diet is probably contributing to your exhaustion, not helping it. And the more you give in to sleep the more you'll seem to need it. You lack the energy to get up and go because you DON'T get up.and go.

To be harsh, you need to stop making excuses for your lifestyle. All that does is give you reasons not to change. Making change is hard. Of course its easier to lie down and snooze. Not eating your favourite treats is tough. But you need to want a stronger healthier you more than you want your current lifestyle. And you need to remind yourself of that during each and every choice you make. But I think it will take more than a pep talk on a forum to help you. If you have a long history of poor diet and lifestyle you will need real life help to change those patterns. Perhaps get in touch with Overeaters Anonymous who can help deal with any emotional causes of overeating and help you break the poor patterns you are in.

Eva4

Hi
Well done on step one & acknowledging you have a problem. If I were you I would try looking at finding help & support away from the keyboard. Find out where your local weight watchers/uni slim what ever is and join. The prospect is daunting I know I did it myself but the rewards are amazing. Stay for the meetings listen to others who are in the same boat & use their tips to adapt your your life.
You will need more energy so if you get public transport to work get off a stop earlier & walk home or invest in a bike.
Do something you enjoy take up a new class learn a new skill walk home from that class. It will give you a reason to leave the house even when you do not want to. It will make you get off the couch as you have spent money on it!
Join a club such as hill walking take the slow walks at first they cover shorter distances & have frequent breaks. You need to meet more people break the cycle you are in. It does take motivation & will power but it is worth it. I was approx 2 stone over weight & miserable now I am a size 8 & so so much happier. Set your self a goal don't diet every day take one day off. You must meet new people who can motivate you to being fitter & healthier.
Best of luck hope it all goes well

nearzero

In order to break your thought patterns & try something completely different - why not try reading, I can make you thin by Paul McKenna! It really helped me when I needed to try something completely different.

I went from a size 14 to a size 8 just because of that book