Is it ok to slap kids?

lufties

The pope reckons it is, but then again I wouldn't be looking to the catholic church to advise me on how to discipline kids. Personally, I'd say its totally wrong, and in most cases its the parent unleashing their own frustration on the child.

Turtyturd

No, it's bullying.

brevity

Bring back the wooden spoon I say!

No it's not. You're bigger and are meant to be smarter than they are, find some other way to discipline them.

*Exceptions for moments of extreme danger e.g. slapping a hand away from a boiling kettle etc.

XsApollo

A slap every now and then doesn't do any harm.

Cookie_Dough

Nope it's assault. I'm sure there's more effective ways to discipline children. Ridiculous statement by the pope.

PizzamanIRL

No. By slapping kids you're teaching them that violence is the answer.

You're a bad parent if you discipline your child by slapping them.

It's perfectly harmless system of administering discipline when children get up to the sort of mischief that cannot be curbed by simple reasoning. Nobody advocates beating a child around the room for God's sake. A quick, sharp slap on the palm or the bottom shocks a child more than it hurts him.

These people are not adults. You cannot always expect to reason with them like an adult, just as you cannot always reason with a domestic animal.

No time for this "Oh please don't kick the nice lady again" nonsense.

Macavity.

Parent gets angry. Parent hits child. Parent's anger quelled.

Has nothing to do with discipline.

brummytom

I'd hardly call the odd slap every now and again assault. There's plenty of little cnuts around now who could've done with it.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

These people are not adults. You cannot always expect to reason with them like an adult, just as you cannot always reason with a domestic animal.

And you're not teaching them any reasoning skills by giving them a slap instead of reasoning with them.

They're also small human beings, not domestic pets.

cloud493

I never hit her ever. If I felt I had to resort to physical punishment when she's done something wrong, I'd be a pretty rubbish parent far as I'm concerned.
Far more constructive punishment methods

So what if the kid doesn't love you, just as long as they fear you.

obsidianclock

My mother was very violent towards me as a kid which left me with a lot of anger issues.

She only stopped when I was 11/12 and in a moment of anger I lashed out and hit her (to date the only time I have ever hit a woman).

I am sure there were times she hit me where I behaved badly but I don't think I learned any kind of lesson from it except that violence is OK.

diomed

Let the children do what they like.

volchitsa

lufties wrote: »

The pope reckons it is, but then again I wouldn't be looking to the catholic church to advise me on how to discipline kids. Personally, I'd say its totally wrong, and in most cases its the parent unleashing their own frustration on the child.

It absolutely is (the parent venting their frustration I mean) - I did slap my first child, who was quite difficult (he's now 22 and survived grand, I guess!) but by the time I'd got to the third, nearly ten years later, I'd worked out how to avoid many of the most conflictual situations because I could see them coming. It's more work, disciplining them without slapping, but it's also more effective.

But I realize that I hit him because it was easier and seemed logical. Well, easier anyway. :oops:

I think the danger I see now though is that some parents seem to think its enough not to do anything at all,nor else just to whinge a bit at the kid, which is not discipline! OTOH, I guess those parents are the ones who in the past would have just hit the nearest child a wallop, whether he was the one doing something or not. Bad parenting wasn't invented by parents not hitting their children, despite what some people seem to say.

Pinch Flat

brevity wrote: »

Bring back the wooden spoon I say!

I've threatened my little fella with that - my own mams weapon of choice back in the day - definitely puts manners on children and a little clip on the ar$e when they're acting the maggot does them no harm

Candie

Candie wrote: »

And you're not teaching them any reasoning skills by giving them a slap instead of reasoning with them.

The object of slapping is to stop an immediate behaviour, and not to try and reason with the child any further.

You're administering a smack to teach the child good manners until the child is too old for slaps. I was only slapped perhaps four or five times in my life, and never after the age of about ten. Slapping is a temporary mechanism for controlling natural mischief until the child is old enough to understand adult responsibilities.

beks101

I got the odd clatter as a kid or my personal favourite, being chased up the stairs with the wooden spoon when I was acting the arsehole. Didn't do me an ounce of harm and I always got an explanation for precisely why I deserved it.

People are too PC these days.

Turtyturd

diomed wrote: »

Let the children do what they like.

Because there is absolutely no middle ground.

diomed

Tazers for kids

http://www.sandman.com/taseler.html

The_Valeyard

Isn't there already a thread/church bashing thinge already?

beks101 wrote: »

I got the odd clatter as a kid or my personal favourite, being chased up the stairs with the wooden spoon when I was acting the arsehole. Didn't do me an ounce of harm and I always got an explanation for precisely why I deserved it.

People are too PC these days.

Was a right bollox the odd time when younger, the odd slap of the wooden spoon put me right in my place and I didn't mess that way again.

The wooden spoon, the Irish Mammies nuclear option.

strobe

Is it ok if I give my girlfriend one moderately hard slap in the face, not to hurt her or anything, just to hammer the point home, if I genuinely think it's for her own good?

Tilly

I'm all for a slap as long as it's not too hard on the child. I got the wooden spoon for god sake and it didn't do me any harm. I couldn't do that to a child but a slap is not a beating.

Gatling

diomed wrote: »

Tazers for kids

http://www.sandman.com/taseler.html

Found straight jackets for kids ,

Handy for tantrums

retro:electro

I'd like to think I'm a decent and moral person with good manners and all because the mere sound of the wooden spoon drawer opening as a child was enough to whip me into line pronto.

My name is URL

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

These people are not adults. You cannot always expect to reason with them like an adult

So is it also okay to strike an adult that you can't reason with? Because that's the belief you're instilling in a kid whenever you hit them due to the fact 'they can't be reasoned with'.

The only people I've ever seen slap a kid in public have been utter scumbags that shouldn't have kids in the first place.

strobe

strobe wrote: »

Is it ok if I give my girlfriend one moderately hard slap in the face, not to hurt her or anything, just to hammer the point home, if I genuinely think it's for her own good?

No. But it also isn't ok to put her in a walker, feed her on a diet of pureed food, and dress her in nappies and boilersuits.

Unless she's into that sort of thing, is she?

Wacker The Attacker

If little johnny needs a good crack on the arse then little johnny should get a good crack on the arse.

obsidianclock

strobe wrote: »

Is it ok if I give my girlfriend one moderately hard slap in the face, not to hurt her or anything, just to hammer the point home, if I genuinely think it's for her own good?

I'd never raise a hand to an Irish girl, I'm not that brave!

Macavity.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

The object of slapping is to stop an immediate behaviour, and not to try and reason with the child any further.

I was slapped a handful of times as a child, and it was no use whatsoever as an immediate solution. It would usually result in a few hours of screaming (not due to the extremity of the slap or anything, merely the action) and a full blown tantrum developing. I think it may have been the whole reasoning behind it that caused the tantrum, which as a young child was confusing and seemed unfair.

Hitting/kicking/slapping etc.. = Not Okay. Parents slap me (when I am bold) = Is Okay. I slap sibling/parent/whoever (when they are bold) = Not Okay.

Karl Stein

"If we are ever to turn toward a kindlier society and a safer world, a revulsion against the physical punishment of children would be a good place to start."

Dr. Benjamin Spock

How could a guy called 'Dr Spoc' be anything but thoroughly logical?

Wacker The Attacker

Macavity. wrote: »

I was slapped a handful of times as a child, and it was no use whatsoever as an immediate solution. It would usually result in a few hours of screaming (not due to the extremity of the slap or anything, merely the action) and a full blown tantrum developing. I think it may have been the whole reasoning behind it that caused the tantrum, which as a young child was confusing and seemed unfair.

Hitting/kicking/slapping etc.. = Not Okay. Parents slap me (when I am bold) = Is Okay. I slap sibling/parent/whoever (when they are bold) = Not Okay.

Sounds like you needed a proper kicking not a slap

humberklog

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Sounds like you needed a proper kicking not a slap

Are you proposing yourself for the job?

evolving_doors

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It's perfectly harmless system of administering discipline when children get up to the sort of mischief that cannot be curbed by simple reasoning. Nobody advocates beating a child around the room for God's sake. A quick, sharp slap on the palm or the bottom shocks a child more than it hurts him.

These people are not adults. You cannot always expect to reason with them like an adult, just as you cannot always reason with a domestic animal.

No time for this "Oh please don't kick the nice lady again" nonsense.

Perfectly harmless you say!...

So no problem if a teacher perfectly harmlessly slaps your child if you do too? after all, you can't be expected to reason with them like an adult.

Or is there a special way parents hit that teachers can't learn?

coopdog85

I slap my little lad on the arse when he's out of line. I caught him pulling the dog around the kitchen by it's back legs a few weeks ago. I reddened his arse & he hasn't done it since nor will he do it again. He told me himself. Plenty of kids nowadays who should have got a clip round the ear but didn't. No harm in it at all.

Choochtown

beks101 wrote: »

I got the odd clatter as a kid or my personal favourite, being chased up the stairs with the wooden spoon when I was acting the arsehole. Didn't do me an ounce of harm and I always got an explanation for precisely why I deserved it.

People are too PC these days.

... But it did do you harm. You now think it's ok to hit a kid.

strobe

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

No. But it also isn't ok to put her in a walker, feed her on a diet of pureed food, and dress her in nappies and boilersuits.

Unless she's into that sort of thing, is she?

Very much so if you throw in a Donald Duck mask, an electric wire and 16 jars of mango jam.

Go Tobban

I got slapped on the arse exactly 3 times as a kid and I deserved it! I actually vividly remember each time, probably because it happened so rarely. Didn't do me any harm at all. My parents would apologise to me a few hours later because they felt so bad about it the big softies


I'd say if it was happening a lot in a household it could have a negative impact on a child's mindset. Once in a blue moon if the child did something genuinely bad, I have no problem with

Wacker The Attacker

humberklog wrote: »

Are you proposing yourself for the job?

Yes. If I may.

My name is URL

Children who are spanked frequently at age 3 are more likely to be aggressive when they’re 5, even when you account for possible confounding factors

http://tulane.edu/news/releases/pr_03122010.cfm

A growing body of research has shown that spanking and other forms of physical discipline can pose serious risks to children, but many parents aren’t hearing the message.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdep.12038/abstract

A 2009 study concluded that children who were frequently spanked (defined as at least once a month for more than three years) "had less gray matter in certain areas of the prefrontal cortex that have been linked to depression, addiction and other mental health disorders."

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2896871/

"The goal of discipline, which actually comes from the Latin root meaning 'to teach,' is to change behavior. And physical discipline across many, many, many studies is ineffective at changing behavior and it’s ineffective for many reasons ... corporal punishment actually teaches children is that aggression is an acceptable method of problem solving."

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/119469/adrian-peterson-expert-explains-long-term-effects-child-abuse

Not that you'd expect the Pope or anyone that takes him seriously to place any trust in experts or science :rolleyes:

thelad95

Where do you draw the line? If employees do something wrong, should their boss hit them a right hook? Should a referee slap a player for committing a foul?

Physical confrontation is animalistic and barbaric. We are intelligent beings and can come up with more civilised ways of disciplining children. If they're acting the brat, lock them in a room and let them take out their frustration there or take their privileges off them like TV or the playstation.

strobe

My name is URL wrote: »

http://tulane.edu/news/releases/pr_03122010.cfm



http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx



http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdep.12038/abstract



http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2896871/



http://www.newrepublic.com/article/119469/adrian-peterson-expert-explains-long-term-effects-child-abuse

Not that you'd expect the Pope or anyone that takes him seriously to place any trust in experts or science :rolleyes:

But I was hit as a kid and it didn't effect me so I'll hit my kids.
Checkmate.

Gatling

strobe wrote: »

But I was hit as a kid and it didn't effect me so I'll hit my kids.
Checkmate.

Not even the grey matter in your frontal cortex

My name is URL

strobe wrote: »

But I was hit as a kid and it didn't effect me so I'll hit my kids.
Checkmate.

Reminds me of the main argument in favor of elective infant circumcision.

'It was done to me and I'll be damned if it's not done to my kids'

WoollyRedHat

I think they should be locked in the shed in the back of the garden with only the spiders to keep them company when they've misbehaved.

beks101

Choochtown wrote: »

... But it did do you harm. You now think it's ok to hit a kid.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

We're not talking about beating a child here, we're talking about a slap on the arse or the hand to reinforce that bad behaviour is bad behaviour and is not acceptable.

Far from teaching a child that VIOLENCE IS GRAND, LET'S ALL BEAT THE SH1T OUT OF ONE ANOTHER, it teaches you not to dare to do something again because it makes you an asshole.

These overreactions are hilarious.

strobe

Gatling wrote: »

Not even the grey matter in your frontal cortex

The crocodile lay sideways and suspected nothing.

Now you go again.

I like this game.

Gatling

strobe wrote: »

The crocodile lay sideways and suspected nothing.

Now you go again.

I like this game.

Post childhood concussion

darced

This post has been deleted.

IsMiseMyself

I get that parents are just people and every now and again they'll snap and slap a kid either because of frustration or anger. Little kids can be little ****s but I've just never really understand the point of hitting a child to make them see sense. A child is being an arse so you hit them. They're hurt and stop being an arse. But what are they learning here? That anger is the correct response? Don't do the thing because I'll hurt you? Of course there's a massive difference between the odd slap and a battering.

Like, I get it's effective but I don't think it's something I'll ever do with any hypothetical children. Or I hope not anyway!

My parents used to batter us (we're not talking the odd slap here!) so naturally I'm entirely opposed to it. All hitting me ever did was make me more determined to do the opposite of what I was asked. I saw my parents as oppressive so I rebelled against them. I had a terrible relationship with my dad. But I've grown into a very emotionally mature and rational adult, so no doubt they reckon they were successful parents!