Let's talk about porn

roro1990

I am sure a few of you will have seen the Tedx talk where Gary Wilson describes porn as something that evolution has not prepared our brains for.

Link for anyone who hasn't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

So i'm curious as to the thoughts of people on this. I think it's an important discussion. He pretty much says that porn can cause erectile dysfunction, social anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. Do you agree/disagree? Some of you may say moderation is key. But what is moderation? Once a day/week/month?

Personally I've come to realize how addictive it can be over the last 2 years. Gary Wilson says in the video that as an experiment guys should try stop watching for 90 days. I've only ever managed 60. It's embarrassing to admit but I think it's good to be open about it. I've said it to my mates and they all say "I dunno how you can even go a week without it". Is porn a bad thing?

Mike747

Definitely has a negative effect on young men. I mean why bother with real women when you can just sit in your room and jerk off?

Why are so many men suddenly gay or bisexual? Because they're being exposed to all kinds of depraved stuff on line.

Penny Tration

Mike747 wrote: »

Why are so many men suddenly gay or bisexual? Because they're being exposed to all kinds of depraved stuff on line.

Seriously?

Men (and women) have been homosexual and bisexual as long as the human race has existed. It has absolutely nothing to do with porn.


I think, like everything, too much is a bad thing. Teenagers watching it (both male and female), need to be taught that it's fantasy and not necessarily showing what happens in a normal, loving relationship.

Too much porn can of course lead to ED, delayed ejaculation, and numerous other issues.

When not being used to excess, or as a replacement for human interaction, it's grand.

listermint

Mike747 wrote: »

Definitely has a negative effect on young men. I mean why bother with real women when you can just sit in your room and jerk off?

Why are so many men suddenly gay or bisexual? Because they're being exposed to all kinds of depraved stuff on line.

Ehh....


Wha?

Columbia

Mike747 wrote: »

Definitely has a negative effect on young men. I mean why bother with real women when you can just sit in your room and jerk off?

Why are so many men suddenly gay or bisexual? Because they're being exposed to all kinds of depraved stuff on line.

I dunno, give me a moment, I'll ask the ancient Greeks why they definitely weren't gay.

Galwayguy35

Porn can be addictive, never before has it been so available to everyone and with so many free sites out there lookig for it costs nothing where as before it involved going out and spending money to get the video/dvd.

Blacktie.

Galwayguy35 wrote:

Porn can be addictive, never before has it been so available to everyone and with so many free sites out there lookig for it costs nothing where as before it involved going out and spending money to get the video/dvd.

Just because something is freely available doesn't make it addictive. You could apply this comment to everything on the Internet.

Galwayguy35

Blacktie. wrote: »

Just because something is freely available doesn't make it addictive. You could apply this comment to everything on the Internet.

Which would be why I said it can be addictive, depends on the person.

I know I used to watch a lot of it every day and used it to get off so I found it addictive.

frozenfrozen

i had my porn turned on and my life hasnt been the same since

Poor Uncle Tom

Just wasted 16 minutes that I will never get back......

He should pull the other one.......

roro1990

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

Just wasted 16 minutes that I will never get back......

He should pull the other one.......

Well he's not pulling his own anyway..

expatinator

Would the refractory period have an affect on it's addictive qualities? As in, I think it would be more difficult to get addicted to porn if you lose physical arousal after you ejaculate?

Holsten

From everything I've read I'd agree with the video.

Men should severely limit the amount that is watched.

KomradeBishop

The idea of porn addiction doesn't seem to have any real evidence in support of it - in fact, after a brief reading up, it seems to have evidence against the idea:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/porn-addiction-isnt-real-research-suggests-9126530.html
http://www.salon.com/2014/02/16/porn_addictive_theres_no_proof/

Fap away :pac:

I think that there is still a lot of religious moralizing around this topic, and there is still strong religious support of anti-pornography movements in the US (which puts out 'research' against porn, which affects US culture and then bleeds into other cultures) - it's still a fairly taboo topic for some reason - and I think that this, combined with the fact that the porn industry seems to put out a lot of utter garbage as its 'mainstream' output (which makes up most of what you can find online), leads to people being easily led into thinking there is something 'wrong' or 'immoral' or (in this case) 'unhealthy' about porn.

There's also a lot of money to be made by fooling people into thinking that they have some kind of 'diagnosable disorder', that needs to be fixed (there is no reputable medical standards authority, that has any diagnostic criteria for porn addiction, as far as I can see).

Even within what would usually be considered the "reputable" parts of the medical industry there's too much money to be made for them to be held up as reliable, impartial evidence. The new DSM being a good example.

ancapailldorcha

KomradeBishop wrote: »

The idea of porn addiction doesn't seem to have any real evidence in support of it - in fact, after a brief reading up, it seems to have evidence against the idea:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/porn-addiction-isnt-real-research-suggests-9126530.html
http://www.salon.com/2014/02/16/porn_addictive_theres_no_proof/

Fap away :pac:

I think that there is still a lot of religious moralizing around this topic, and there is still strong religious support of anti-pornography movements in the US (which puts out 'research' against porn, which affects US culture and then bleeds into other cultures) - it's still a fairly taboo topic for some reason - and I think that this, combined with the fact that the porn industry seems to put out a lot of utter garbage as its 'mainstream' output (which makes up most of what you can find online), leads to people being easily led into thinking there is something 'wrong' or 'immoral' or (in this case) 'unhealthy' about porn.

There's also a lot of money to be made by fooling people into thinking that they have some kind of 'diagnosable disorder', that needs to be fixed (there is no reputable medical standards authority, that has any diagnostic criteria for porn addiction, as far as I can see).

I don't think I'd go so far to say that "porn addiction is not a thing". Chances are, a lot of guys who get addicted to it are likely to have some sort of mental health issue to begin with. The media love to hate porn so it makes sense to portray it as some sort of boogeyman. As you've said, there's big money to be made by convincing people they have a disorder and then "treating" them for it.

KomradeBishop

Ya I don't think there's enough evidence to say either that it is a thing, or is not a thing, at the moment - to me, it certainly doesn't seem likely to be real though (or if it was, it seems like it'd only affect a tiny tiny minority), as I'd think there would have been some high-quality research confirming it by now otherwise.

It seem reasonably safe to say, that it's not something people in general should be concerned about at all.

ancapailldorcha

KomradeBishop wrote: »

Ya I don't think there's enough evidence to say either that it is a thing, or is not a thing, at the moment - to me, it certainly doesn't seem likely to be real though (or if it was, it seems like it'd only affect a tiny tiny minority), as I'd think there would have been some high-quality research confirming it by now otherwise.

It seem reasonably safe to say, that it's not something people in general should be concerned about at all.

Fair enough.

A friend once told me that he was spending a lot of time watching it. He'd just moved abroad and knew noone. He actually ended up jacking in a permanent job with good prospects to go to Dublin to work as a temp.

Wibbs

Personally I'd reckon porn addiction is a real thing. People can be come addicts of all sorts of things. Porn causing erectile disfunction etc? That I'd be much less prone to believe myself. Sure if you're tapping 5 times a day or some such your reserves are going to be in trouble and if you become overstimulated by ever more extreme porn I could see that having an effect alright, but I'd reckon a temporary one for the average man.

ancapailldorcha

Wibbs wrote: »

Personally I'd reckon porn addiction is a real thing. People can be come addicts of all sorts of things. Porn causing erectile disfunction etc? That I'd be much less prone to believe myself. Sure if you're tapping 5 times a day or some such your reserves are going to be in trouble and if you become overstimulated by ever more extreme porn I could see that having an effect alright, but I'd reckon a temporary one for the average man.

They do say that it alters perceptions and expectations of real sex. "They" being the media who've tried to blame porn for all sorts of things so a mountain of salt mightn't be a bad idea.

There probably is a thing such as porn addiction but there'll be a rush to label such things from some quarters to suit their own ends. People who think they're addicted to porn have probably had other "addictions" before.

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

They do say that it alters perceptions and expectations of real sex. "They" being the media who've tried to blame porn for all sorts of things so a mountain of salt mightn't be a bad idea.

The same media that publishes sex tips, promotes hairless bodies, points out any cellulite on women, publishes lurid stories about Z-lister's sex stories/"romps" and so on.
Porn gives people ideas they may not have thought of on their own. So does the Kama Sutra and talking to friends.

Saipanne

I don't see the harm in it, so long as you realise that it is fantasy, and real sex is very different.

fits

I posted on another thread but my main issue is that its just not very sexy (any that I have seen). If the woman is faking pleasure and the man is obviously doing something unpleasurable I just can't help going eugh. The orgasms are fake and lol@female "ejaculation." Sorry I don't want to watch anyone peeing themselves,
I also have a major problem with the money shots. Major. Its gross.

I haven't seen any in a long time, maybe there is better stuff out there but I am not particularly inclined to go looking for it.

lazybones32

roro1990 wrote: »

So i'm curious as to the thoughts of people on this. I think it's an important discussion. He pretty much says that porn can cause erectile dysfunction, social anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. Do you agree/disagree? Some of you may say moderation is key. But what is moderation? Once a day/week/month?

Personally I've come to realize how addictive it can be over the last 2 years. Gary Wilson says in the video that as an experiment guys should try stop watching for 90 days. I've only ever managed 60. It's embarrassing to admit but I think it's good to be open about it. I've said it to my mates and they all say "I dunno how you can even go a week without it". Is porn a bad thing?

To say "you cannot get addicted to (X)" is incorrect: gambling, shopping, stealing, sex, masturbation, power, drugs, adrenaline, etc are proof enough that anything that can promote a reaction in the human brain (releasing hormones) can become addictive.

I think the younger one is when first exposed to porn, the more potential damage it can do but a lot of this boils down to the individual and how it affects them personally. Two friends can watch a porno and two totally different effects can happen.

The negative effects of addiction seem to be fairly similar with a few differences but if one starts to view half the World's population as sex-objects solely, then the addiction and warped view has more damaging consequences.

I don't like watching porn. I don't get turned on by watching another man bone a Woman I want to bone and I've yet to make a woman have convulsive orgasms by simply taking off my socks (OTT 'acting'). I find it more frustrating to watch a fine-looking woman...and sometimes an achingly beautiful woman ... do things with someone who is not me. And she never makes a sandwich and a drink after...real-life is far better.

Penny Tration

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

They do say that it alters perceptions and expectations of real sex. "They" being the media who've tried to blame porn for all sorts of things so a mountain of salt mightn't be a bad idea.

I don't believe that, personally.

As a woman, I've been told lots of times by friends or family, when I was younger and innocent, that porn isn't real life and if a guy tried to act it out, he's just being a dick.

Except... I like the stuff that's in porn. I like objectification, I like being physically hurt, I like being dominated. I like all of the things that I'm told I shouldn't like.

And all men, bar my current boyfriend, watched huge amounts of porn, but never expected (or even wanted!) to try the more 'hardcore' stuff that they'd watch, in real life.

For me, porn gives IDEAS, not an idealistic view.

NachoBusiness

These TED talks on porn always wind me up as more often that not they discuss the issue of porn addiction as if men were the only ones that watched it, yet more and more studies show us that a large percentage of women also watch porn and are just as susceptible to becoming addicted to it. Studies also show us that both girls and boys are being introduced it at around the same young age and same numbers also and so I'm not sure why the focus always needs to be on boys / men.

Personally, I have noticed that women today (and over the last ten years) are into sex acts which I had only previously only associated with pornography. One act in particular is choking. I remember when a girl first asked me to gently choke her during sex and I was shocked. That was over ten years ago now and since then I've met quite a few women who are also into that, along also with being slapped, verbally abused etc. Again, these are things which I really would only have associated with porn and so as they are seemingly becoming more and more commonplace, I can only suspect that this is down to how much women are increasingly watching pornography these days.

As an aside, I notice that despite the fact that women watch more porn and the taboo of them doing so should be lessened, women still seem quite reserved about being open and honest about how much they enjoy pornography. Case in point was when at a dinner party for couples last summer the subject of pornography lightheartedly came up and the girl who I was with, who had a large appetite for porn flicks, said it wasn't something she was interested in and kicked me under the table when I laughed. Two mates who's girlfriend's also said similar later said to pay no attention to what they said that they watched it more than they did. Which makes you wonder if the studies regarding how much women watch porn are accurate, considering it's not something which all women feel comfortable talking about or so it would appear at least.

So yeah, not sure why the focus tends to be always centered around males whenever this discussion comes up.

theguardian.com/culture/2011/apr/07/women-addicted-internet-pornography

fits

NachoBusiness wrote: »

These TED talks on porn always wind me up as more often that not they discuss the issue of porn addiction as if men were the only ones that watched it, yet more and more studies show us that a large percentage of women also watch porn and are just as susceptible to becoming addicted to it. Studies also show us that both girls and boys are being introduced it at around the same young age and same numbers also and so I'm not sure why the focus always needs to be on boys / men.

Which studies are these then?

NachoBusiness

fits wrote: »

Which studies are these then?

liebertpub.com/global/pressrelease/what-drives-cybersex-addiction-among-female-internet-pornography-users/1491/
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25080011

Article on the latter:

thehealthsite.com/news/study-shows-women-addicted-to-porn-could-turn-out-to-be-hypersexuals/

expatinator

'Again, these are things which I really would only have associated with porn and so as they are seemingly becoming more and more commonplace, I can only suspect that this is down to how much women are increasingly watching pornography these days.'

No offense, but I doubt it. That sort of stuffs been in books before porn ever hit the internet.

NachoBusiness

expatinator wrote: »

No offense, but I doubt it. That sort of stuffs been in books before porn ever hit the internet.

So what.

What I am referring to is how female attitudes towards certain sexual acts has changed over the last two decades. The 'stuff' you're referring did exist in certain 'books', yes, but that's the point, examples were a rarity whereas nowadays the sex acts with which I spoke of are much more mainstream and commonplace.

Sure, there are other platforms where women have been introduced to such things, as it has been for men (TV shows, magazines etc) but in my opinion pornography has been just as much a source of sexual awakening for females as it has been for males, which is the reason why I'm sick to the back teeth of reading and hearing these pontificators framing these discussions / lectures regarding pornography addiction in such a way as to imply that it something which only afflicts men.