I hate everyone

retro:electro

So today I was coming out of my local super value and it was lashing rain and there was pissy snow all over the ground. I was carrying the messages in my arms cos I'm too scabby to pay for a bag. Anyhoo off I walk out to the car struggling along with all my bits and bobs. I get to the car door and I'm finding it hard to open it cos I've so much ****e in my arms, rain is also pissing down all over me. I manage to open the door but a tin of kidney beans fell from my arms and rolled under the car.

I struggle to throw the messages into the passanger seat and then reach under the car for the tin. It was over near the other wheel in a big puddle so I walked around and got it.
Only then did I notice the Garda squad car parked beside me and they were sat there all warm and dry and they were laughing at me! I kinda looked at them again just to see were they definitely laughing and then they waved and me and laughed!!! Bloody bastards. So mean like. Grrr

fleet_admiral

Buy a bag you tight arse

Gongoozler

Fantastic story. Tell it again? Oh no wait, save it for Christmas will you?

dodderangler

Well fcuk you too!!!

TheBeardedLady

That made me laugh anyhow.

Glebee

Funny thing happened me today. Was sitting in the squad car and some tool came out of a shop loaded with messages and made a fool of himself getting into his car. Oh the laugh we had.

Topper Harley

I hate the people who love me and they hate me too!

MRnotlob606

If your're not a part of the solution your're the problem

The clunge plunger

Did you use the kidney beans in a chilli con carne?

RobYourBuilder

The coppers laughed at something relatively amusing. Can't be having that! Did you expect them to help you scoop up your tin of beans or something?

Poor Anna

I crossed a road with the lights at a major junction wearing my nice girlie skirt when a major gust of wind shot it straight up, giving everyone a good look at my drawers. Walked to the other side of the road with my hands covering my face because I could hear the drivers waiting at the lights laughing.

Humiliation, happens everyone sooner or later.

Boskowski

Well in fairness, even though I have been you many many times myself I would have laughed too. I guess they weren't mean, they probably could relate to your situation.

Chickentown

Next time just steal your groceries instead of buying them.

When you come outside there won't be a garda car within at least 30 minutes drive from you.

DoYouEvenLift

Does your car not have a boot?

weldoninhio

anna080 wrote: »

So today I was coming out of my local super value and it was lashing rain and there was pissy snow all over the ground. I was carrying the messages in my arms cos I'm too scabby to pay for a bag. Anyhoo off I walk out to the car struggling along with all my bits and bobs. I get to the car door and I'm finding it hard to open it cos I've so much ****e in my arms, rain is also pissing down all over me. I manage to open the door but a tin of kidney beans fell from my arms and rolled under the car.

I struggle to throw the messages into the passanger seat and then reach under the car for the tin. It was over near the other wheel in a big puddle so I walked around and got it.
Only then did I notice the Garda squad car parked beside me and they were sat there all warm and dry and they were laughing at me! I kinda looked at them again just to see were they definitely laughing and then they waved and me and laughed!!! Bloody bastards. So mean like. Grrr

Has anyone bid for the movie rights?? I'll give you E2 for them and 99% of any profit it makes at the box office.

Would everyone stop picking on Anna!

Anna, they weren't laughing AT you, they were laughing because it wasn't them! Everyone can relate to the misery of the situation, it's part of the whole common human experience .

looksee

Does your car not have a boot?

Its even harder to open a car boot with an arm full of groceries than it is to open a door...

Karl Stein

I was telling a story about a thing once and then I added a helicopter crash because it was a bit boring.

pablomakaveli

On a related note, i hate when people refer to their shopping as "messages".

BorneTobyWilde

I take no joy in laughing at someone else's misfortune . It's one thing not to help,but to laugh at someone,that's the action of a person with little class.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

DoYouEvenLift

looksee wrote: »

Its even harder to open a car boot with an arm full of groceries than it is to open a door...

pablomakaveli

pablomakaveli wrote: »

On a related note, i hate when people refer to their shopping as "messages".

Then bring home the messages and put them in the 'press'.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

retro:electro

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

The aul fieshta isn't that fancy

The_Valeyard

weldoninhio wrote: »

Has anyone bid for the movie rights?? I'll give you E2 for them and 99% of any profit it makes at the box office.

I will ring Hans Zimmer, he could make some truly epic music for it.

Im sure Martin Scorsese Could make it at least 4hours long.

Also, it would still be better than most the the sh*te Michael Bay makes.

looksee

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Hmph, my car doesn't do that!

Baggy Trousers

You will never use those kidney beans.

If there were bad guys around, you could have done this to impress the coppers (1:20)

1:20

Gran Hermano

Here's another message OP.

The feeling is mutual.

retro:electro

Thanks guys, you have restored my faith in humanity. All is not lost

TheBeardedLady

Boskowski wrote: »

Well in fairness, even though I have been you many many times myself I would have laughed too. I guess they weren't mean, they probably could relate to your situation.

That's it. Thanking whoever it's not you.

Probably the most comically embarrassing time of my life was when I got off the train in Malahide to change onto the Dart and stood on a big patch of ice on the platform and slipped. I spent a good 5 minutes struggling to get up while the train on people looked out laughing. I eventually had to get pulled off the ice by two CIE workers. Not particularly hilarious at that very moment in time but I laughed after and still laugh at what a spectacle I must've been 5 or 6 years later.

In fairness, I'd probably laugh then give the person a hand rather than just leave them struggling but hey! We're only human!

D Trent

Glebee wrote: »

Funny thing happened me today. Was sitting in the squad car and some tool came out of a shop loaded with messages and made a fool of himself getting into his car. Oh the laugh we had.

Had potential to be great but ended up being sh*t

Topper Harley

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Sometimes even this is no help. So many times I've maneuvered all my groceries into my left hand so I can reach into my right hand pocket and get my car keys only to realise that they're in my fcuking left pocket. AHHHH!!!

jester77

pablomakaveli wrote: »

On a related note, i hate when people refer to their shopping as "messages".

I was wondering wtf the OP was on about. I was mentally picturing them with an arm full of sticky notes trying to not get them wet whilst carrying a tin of kidney beans.

TheBeardedLady

^^^by the way, the CIE workers could barely help me off the ice as they were bent over in tears laughing themselves and couldn't get their **** together at all. :pac:

Honey Monster

"Carrying the messages"

Level 5000 bogger achieved.

pablomakaveli

anna080 wrote: »

Thanks guys, you have restored my faith in humanity. All is not lost

It could be worse. You could be the lad that slipped on the ice that was showon on RTE news. Imagine having the whole country see you fall on your arse.

Slicemeister

Strange they laughed, they're well used to seeing stuff being dropped....

TheBeardedLady

.......

ChunkyLover54

anna080 wrote: »

Only then did I notice the Garda squad car parked beside me and they were sat there all warm and dry and they were laughing at me! I kinda looked at them again just to see were they definitely laughing and then they waved and me and laughed!!! Bloody bastards. So mean like. Grrr

You should have pulled your nostrils back and yelled "Oink oink oink". That would soften their coughs.

The other fella

I also hate everyone.And all belong to them.

pablo128

Well on an optimistic note, if you hate everyone equally, you can't be a racist.

Back in my clubbing days, me and my mate went to the System nightclub in South Anne street. It was our first time going there, so a bit nervous I suppose. Anyway we pulled up across the road and jumped out of the taxi. There we were, strutting across the road trying to look cool and sophisticated, when my mate goes out on his snot and hits the deck, ripping a hole in the knee of his jeans. I looked around to see the bouncers in hysterics!
Fair play to them though. They let us in after giving my mate stick for a few minutes!

Earthhorse

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

That made me laugh anyhow.

What are you? A Gard?

sh1tstirrer

Glebee wrote: »

Funny thing happened me today. Was sitting in the squad car and some tool came out of a shop loaded with messages and made a fool of himself getting into his car. Oh the laugh we had.

Did you notice that it was a woman

Riesen_Meal

3 pages in and still no one has (NSFW) :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WiT-c3NA0M

Egginacup

anna080 wrote: »

So today I was coming out of my local super value and it was lashing rain and there was pissy snow all over the ground. I was carrying the messages in my arms cos I'm too scabby to pay for a bag. Anyhoo off I walk out to the car struggling along with all my bits and bobs. I get to the car door and I'm finding it hard to open it cos I've so much ****e in my arms, rain is also pissing down all over me. I manage to open the door but a tin of kidney beans fell from my arms and rolled under the car.

I struggle to throw the messages into the passanger seat and then reach under the car for the tin. It was over near the other wheel in a big puddle so I walked around and got it.
Only then did I notice the Garda squad car parked beside me and they were sat there all warm and dry and they were laughing at me! I kinda looked at them again just to see were they definitely laughing and then they waved and me and laughed!!! Bloody bastards. So mean like. Grrr

You should have said to them "Lads, I wouldn't be laughing if I were ye. You should see what's under your car...."



BOOOM!

Jaxxy

If it makes you feel any better OP, I once walked around town for a good while (following a trip to the bathroom) with my skirt tucked into the back of my knickers.

Jaxxy

Jaxxy wrote: »

If it makes you feel any better OP, I once walked around town for a good while (following a trip to the bathroom) with my skirt tucked into the back of my knickers.

Been there!

And who hasn't walked around with toilet paper stuck to their shoe?

Paramite Pie

pablomakaveli wrote: »

It could be worse. You could be the lad that slipped on the ice that was showon on RTE news. Imagine having the whole country see you fall on your arse.

Ha!! Forgot about him... the worst part is that I instantly knew who your on about... you could never live that down:D

feargale

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

The coppers laughed at something relatively amusing. Can't be having that! Did you expect them to help you scoop up your tin of beans or something?

No, but she probably expected them to behave as people who possess awsome powers over citizens should behave. Dare I praise "Perfidious Albion", but I'll wager you a pound to a penny London bobbies wouldn't behave like that. We can sometimes be a very vulgar race of people. Maybe Templemore should start with a few lessons in good manners. Apart from anything else, that might raise the Garda Siochana in the estimation of ordinary people. If the little things were right maybe the big things wouldn't be wrong. (P.S. Did Godwin say anything about Donegal? )

WoollyRedHat

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

^^^by the way, the CIE workers could barely help me off the ice as they were bent over in tears laughing themselves and couldn't get their **** together at all. :pac:

You're as cold as ice, but you're willing to sacrifice. Ahem, sorry I have a problem... singing tourettes.

Anna, pro tip, next time lob the messages into the trolley, push it towards the car, wheeeeeeeeeeeee, then you won't be dropping them all over the gaff with the coppers laughing at your disfortune.