Is this insulting or am I being over-sensitive?

unreg999

So I was working on my laptop yesterday most of the day, designing flyers etc as trying to get a small business going...
Partner was in a bit of a mood most of the day & it ended up with us having a row & me getting told I had been faffing around all day, doing nothing & just sitting on my fat arse.
I am overweight & have been most of my life, certainly since we have been together for the last 3.5 years, it wasn't a problem in the beginning but comes up regularly & usually ends with me being insulted & called names.
He says it is the only thing that bothers him about me & the source of all our problems- he says he hates my fat & it's disgusting & gross. He has said that he's a bit embarrassed of me.
When I've called him on it he says that he's only keeping it real & saying what other people are thinking.
After the last row I told him I would not be spoken to like that & he is an abusive person & I left.
I had to go back today to get some stuff & he basically said that saying I was sitting on my fat arse wasn't insulting & only bothered me because I have issues with my weight... no one else would care if that was said to them.. this was after him texting me today that he was sorry, he missed me & please come home.
Is he right? Would you find this insulting or abusive or am I too sensitive about my weight??

unreg999

Meant to say- regular poster going unreg as name suggests.

LegacyUser

Impossible to say unless you detail what your height and weight is.
Some people can be very intolerant. He may just be worried about your health. Also, it's normal if you're in love to want to look your best, not your worst, so he may see your weight gain as an indirect insult to him?
Worst insult I've heard is "You know nothing! You don't even know when to stop eating".

Username here

unreg999 wrote: »

...it wasn't a problem in the beginning but comes up regularly & usually ends with me being insulted & called names.
He says it is the only thing that bothers him about me & the source of all our problems- he says he hates my fat & it's disgusting & gross. He has said that he's a bit embarrassed of me.
When I've called him on it he says that he's only keeping it real & saying what other people are thinking....

Insulting your partner over weight issues is not "keeping it real" (Is your partner Ali G, by the way??) And how does he know what other people are thinking - not that what others are thinking is relevant....

But for me, the real issue is what I've underlined above. I wouldn't accuse anyone who is offended by those sentiments of being oversensitive, and frankly would wonder why you guys are still together, if this is a recurring issue.

Username here

Cfhhh wrote: »

Impossible to say unless you detail what your height and weight is.
Some people can be very intolerant. He may just be worried about your health. Also, it's normal if you're in love to want to look your best, not your worst, so he may see your weight gain as an indirect insult to him?
Worst insult I've heard is "You know nothing! You don't even know when to stop eating".

OP does NOT need to detail height and weight. If her partner is worried about her weight, there are ways to communicate this without insulting her and saying he's embarrassed by her.

Big Bag of Chips

He's sort of right... Telling someone they're sitting on their fat arse isn't necessarily an insult.. I've heard it said to people who aren't overweight as a sort of joke about sitting around doing nothing.

The problem is, that's not all he said.

DeclanJWhite

You are not to be spoken to like that and he was being abusive. You could not be more correct. :-)

Dacelonid

Cfhhh wrote: »

Impossible to say unless you detail what your height and weight is.

What difference does this make. If the op is overweight, then her boyfriend is being a dick and she has ever right to react. If the op is not overweight, then her boyfriend is being a dick and she had every right to react

Username here

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

... I've heard it said to people who aren't overweight as a sort of joke about sitting around doing nothing.

Have you heard that said often to people who are overweight, as a joke? I'm fortunate to have a fast metabolism, so have been slim all my life, but I can't imagine anyone struggling with their weight seeing the "funny" side of that.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

I think it's a valid concern for your partner. If my gf got overweight I'd say it. However, the way he said it is bang out if order and obviously hurt your feelings, which your partner should not do. Would you like to lose some of the extra weight for your own sake?

njs030

It's not a very nice way to say it, but I wonder is he concerned and just not good at explaining himself?
Does he usually say things in a kind, constructive way or is he more of a blurt it out type of person?

Also, and I mean this kindly, are you happy with your size? You don't mention if you've put on more weight since meeting him or how you feel about it.

DeclanJWhite

The way a person speaks to you is a huge deal, whatever the subject, the sensitive one of weight or anything in life. You're asking for respect in how he speaks to you and he's not giving it. That's a huge issue, even if the particular subject of weight can seem trivial - which it is certainly not, but just in case it can do, when things have cooled down. :-) So the subject of weight here is at the very least the tip of a relationship iceberg.

unreg999

Cfhhh wrote:

Impossible to say unless you detail what your height and weight is. Some people can be very intolerant. He may just be worried about your health. Also, it's normal if you're in love to want to look your best, not your worst, so he may see your weight gain as an indirect insult to him? Worst insult I've heard is "You know nothing! You don't even know when to stop eating".

I am overweight, i am well aware of it even though he says I am in denial... I didn't gain weight since we met, if anything I am a couple of stone lighter though I have been even lighter still during our relationship. I do have a long way to go still but unfortunately I did gain some back in the last two years or so due to some quite big losses including losing a baby... his baby...
He actually told me he liked 'big women' when we first met... now he says that while that is true, there is a limit and he hoped I would lose more weight...

unreg999

Greysen Deep Stipend wrote:

I think it's a valid concern for your partner. If my gf got overweight I'd say it. However, the way he said it is bang out if order and obviously hurt your feelings, which your partner should not do. Would you like to lose some of the extra weight for your own sake?

yes as I said in my OP I have been struggling with this my whole life...most of my family are overweight too though very active and constantly on diets... just to say, I haven't actually put on weight since we met, was actually bigger then than I am now, though my weight HAS fluctuated in this time...

GNR_MUFC

unreg999 wrote: »

So I was working on my laptop yesterday most of the day, designing flyers etc as trying to get a small business going...
Partner was in a bit of a mood most of the day & it ended up with us having a row & me getting told I had been faffing around all day, doing nothing & just sitting on my fat arse.
I am overweight & have been most of my life, certainly since we have been together for the last 3.5 years, it wasn't a problem in the beginning but comes up regularly & usually ends with me being insulted & called names.
He says it is the only thing that bothers him about me & the source of all our problems- he says he hates my fat & it's disgusting & gross. He has said that he's a bit embarrassed of me.
When I've called him on it he says that he's only keeping it real & saying what other people are thinking.
After the last row I told him I would not be spoken to like that & he is an abusive person & I left.
I had to go back today to get some stuff & he basically said that saying I was sitting on my fat arse wasn't insulting & only bothered me because I have issues with my weight... no one else would care if that was said to them.. this was after him texting me today that he was sorry, he missed me & please come home.
Is he right? Would you find this insulting or abusive or am I too sensitive about my weight??

Clearly isn't a very nice person, so forget about him. It's abuse.
Meanwhile if you do have issues about your weight, it's nearly too late to do something about it, but don't be with someone who isn't supportive either way.

maggiepip

I think he's being disgraceful in his behaviour and I don't think you're being oversensitive at all . What got me the most is him saying hes a bit embarrassed of you. Well thats soul destroying territory in my opinion, he doesnt sound very nice. I dont see any evidence of concern for health either. I would wonder whats going on here OP, and I would try to address it before he robs you of all your confidence.

unreg999

GNR_MUFC wrote:

Clearly isn't a very nice person, so forget about him. It's abuse. Meanwhile if you do have issues about your weight, it's nearly too late to do something about it, but don't be with someone who isn't supportive either way.

What do you mean it's nearly too late?

LegacyUser

It's a tad over-dramatic to call it "abuse". However, it's disrespectful& unloving.
Do you work outside the home/support yourself financially?
Why does he say your weight is the source of all your problems? Did doctors mention anything about your weight being a contributory factor as regards the miscarriage?
I'd call it a day. Clearly you aren't happy, he isn't happy, you're not going to change your ways or your outlook & neither is he. You can't force each others views on each other.

DeclanJWhite

I'd say 'never too late' was intended there :-)

R.D. aka MR.D

Why on earth would you want to be with someone who is embarrassed of you?

You are worth more than that no matter what size you are.

unreg999

notjustsweet wrote:

It's not a very nice way to say it, but I wonder is he concerned and just not good at explaining himself? Does he usually say things in a kind, constructive way or is he more of a blurt it out type of person?

He is never kind nor sensitive in expressing himself and just says what he thinks regardless of hurt or insult...
Obviously he has a lot of good points and we do love each other a lot otherwise we wouldn't be together still
I might mention however that he isn't the cleanest person and coupled with the fact that he is very physical and works veery hard he can often be quite smelly... I have often pointed this out to him as he could go more than a week without showering at times... he says that me telling him he needs a shower is as bad as him calling me fat and saying I need to lose weight...!!
He says he would make more of an effort with himself if I lost weight...

unreg999

R.D. aka MR.D wrote:

Why on earth would you want to be with someone who is embarrassed of you?

R.D. aka MR.D wrote:

You are worth more than that no matter what size you are.

you are right... he does have a lot of good points though & when things are good between us we are very happy.. it's never so black & white as 'just leave'... we are both in our early 40s and have a lot invested in this relationship though as time goes on I feel it's getting more & more likely that I WILL leave...
I am heart broken over all this to be honest

Stavro Mueller

Weight's an emotive issue. I've seen countless threads here which have really polarised opinion. I think it's safe to say every overweight person on the planet (a) wishes they weren't carrying those extra pounds/stones (b) is aware that carrying extra weight isn't good for their health (c) that weight can be lost if you eat the right foods/watch your portion sizes/exercise more. Nobody needs to be reminded that they're heavy or preached at as if they're imbeciles.

While your partner's entitled to not feel attracted to you if you're carrying too much extra weight, I don't like the way he's treating you. It's as if he's blaming your weight for everything that's wrong. How on earth can you being overweight be "He says it is the only thing that bothers him about me & the source of all our problems" That's over the top in my book and licence for him to continue to lash out at you. There's no way that poor personal hygiene equates to someone being on the heavy side. If he was concerned about you being overweight, why can't he broach the topic in a nicer fashion. Clueless and all as he may be, he has to know talking to you in this fashion's not on. Why is he saying such ugly things to you instead of encouraging you to eat the right things, exercising together etc? Something tells me even if you turned into one of those size zero stick insects, he'd still be complaining about something.

ABajaninCork

He's an emotional bully. Tell him he needs to fix up and look sharp. Start by taking regular showers and changing his clothes because HE is embarrassing YOU!! Not to mention stinking out the house. Who wants to sleep with someone like that FFS??

I'd keep walking TBH. Nobody needs that. If you decide to lose weight, it'll be for YOU. Not some silly little man-child.

unreg999

yes you are so right...

maggiepip

Well now your weight is stopping him from showering!!! Thats a very manipulative thing to say. So on top of being unkind and insensitive hes also manipulative. He obviously has good points and you're right that nothing is black and white, but he cannot treat you like this. If he continues to behave like this towards you he will damage you. A relationship should be a happy place, and while all relationships go through rough patches from time to time and couples have rows , things normally dont evolve into pure deliberate hurt being caused (this is what your other half is doing). When this happens its time to start reassessing things.

ABajaninCork

maggiepip wrote: »

Well now your weight is stopping him from showering!!! Thats a very manipulative thing to say. So on top of being unkind and insensitive hes also manipulative. He obviously has good points and you're right that nothing is black and white, but he cannot treat you like this. If he continues to behave like this towards you he will damage you. A relationship should be a happy place, and while all relationships go through rough patches from time to time and couples have rows , things normally dont evolve into pure deliberate hurt being caused (this is what your other half is doing). When this happens its time to start reassessing things.

Yup. Get rid, sister. This dude is no good for you. You can do better - overweight or not!!

Big Bag of Chips

Username here wrote: »

Have you heard that said often to people who are overweight, as a joke? I'm fortunate to have a fast metabolism, so have been slim all my life, but I can't imagine anyone struggling with their weight seeing the "funny" side of that.

My point is, whether or not you find it insulting, OP, or think you are just being over sensitive is irrelevant. If it was said in isolation then he could well argue that he didn't mean it as an insult. But the point is it wasn't said in isolation.

Said in isolation it can be explained away. Said as yet another attack on you, your appearance etc then no it cant be explained away as just a joke and of course you are entitled to feel hurt.

unreg999

jkljhljk wrote:

It's a tad over-dramatic to call it "abuse". However, it's disrespectful& unloving. Do you work outside the home/support yourself financially? Why does he say your weight is the source of all your problems? Did doctors mention anything about your weight being a contributory factor as regards the miscarriage? I'd call it a day. Clearly you aren't happy, he isn't happy, you're not going to change your ways or your outlook & neither is he. You can't force each others views on each other.

yes I do work & I volunteer in the field I work in, I am currently trying to set up my own business.
I have two degrees, am studying towards an alternative qualification, & have 2 further certificates in similiar fields.
I also have a daughter from a previous relationship that lives with us.

He says we would be happy if I lost the weight, that it's the only thing that bothers him about me, he can put up with the rest. He says it's the only thing we ever argue about (untrue) & basically our lives would be perfect if not for it!!

No my weight was never brought into it by the doctors, more likely my age (I was 39 at the time). He did say he thought it might have happened because of my weight though which was very hurtful.

Username here

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

My point is, whether or not you find it insulting, OP, or think you are just being over sensitive is irrelevant. If it was said in isolation then he could well argue that he didn't mean it as an insult. But the point is it wasn't said in isolation.

Said in isolation it can be explained away. Said as yet another attack on you, your appearance etc then no it cant be explained away as just a joke and of course you are entitled to feel hurt.

And my point is that this isn't something that's said as a "joke" to people who are overweight - more than likely precisely because they are overweight, and thus likely to be offended by it. People who say that to overweights are either severely lacking in empathy, or know exactly what they're doing - and it's not "joking".

Leo12

Hi, I really feel for you. He sounds like a bully and is projecting his own unhappiness onto you. Blaming your weight on a myriad of problems is insane! Not only did you suffer from a miscarriage (and I'm sure a much wanted baby), now you are being blamed for it...I know you have been together a long time but his insensitivity has me gobsmacked! You are an intelligent hard working woman that is trying to set up a business and that is what he comes out with? What did HE do all day today? ( well obviously showering wasn't one of them urgh! Or maybe today was his Sunday shower...) Is he jealous of you trying to make a go of things and by insulting you this way, his way of holding you back and thus resulting in knocking your confidence?

Stavro Mueller

In some ways it's irrelevant what we think of his comments. Even if everyone here said he was in the right and that you deserved to have those things said to you, you'd still feel hurt. You feel wounded, you think his comments are over-simplifying the situation and you're very unhappy at being spoken to like this. You're no fool so you know the difference between right and wrong. You mentioned you have a daughter. Has she ever had to listen to you being spoken to about the weight issue by your partner?

Merkin

The fact that he says you embarrass him AND that he holds YOU accountable for being a personal hygiene abomination himself suggests to me the the doesn't love you. If he truly did he wouldn't speak to you in this fashion. In fact I'd hazard a guess that it suits him that you're overweight as it's a stick to beat you with. I would be getting shot of him. The fat arse reference is merely symptomatic of much bigger problems in your relationship.

Neyite

For what its worth, I don't believe its necessary to use cruel words in a disagreement in a relationship. Most people manage to keep attempts to mend differences of opinion in the workplace civil and focused, without verbal abuse or name calling so it can be done, and while there tends to be more emotion involved at home, a disagreement can remain civil and respectful, even if the persons are at loggerheads over an issue.

It's interesting that he met you when you say you were heavier/bigger, and clearly found you attractive then, so in my view, he is merely a cruel man targeting your own insecurities in order to hurt you.

The bigger question is why would you stay with someone who takes pleasure from causing you distress? Your intimate relationships should enhance your life, should make you happy. That person should be your biggest champion, boosting your self-esteem with encouragement when you doubt your own self worth. Not getting his kicks out of your hurt.

deisemum

unreg999 wrote: »

yes I do work & I volunteer in the field I work in, I am currently trying to set up my own business.
I have two degrees, am studying towards an alternative qualification, & have 2 further certificates in similiar fields.
I also have a daughter from a previous relationship that lives with us.

He says we would be happy if I lost the weight, that it's the only thing that bothers him about me, he can put up with the rest. He says it's the only thing we ever argue about (untrue) & basically our lives would be perfect if not for it!!

No my weight was never brought into it by the doctors, more likely my age (I was 39 at the time). He did say he thought it might have happened because of my weight though which was very hurtful.

That to me is the most telling about the sort of person he is. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out from that comment that he sees plenty of faults in you and as has ready been mentioned if you lost the weight he'd find something else about you to berate you. Blaming you for the miscarriage is beyond disgraceful, I'd have been gone there and then.

Are you happy for your child to grow up seeing you as a hard working and intelligent woman being treated in such a disrespectful way yet condoning it? How we treat others and how we allow others to treat us is how we teach our children to treat others and how they will allow others to treat them.

unreg999

Thank you for your replies. No I am NOT happy at all with this behaviour & not happy that my daughter is aware of it even though she doesn't see it/hear it much she isn't stupid.
I have self-esteem issues which I am working on & things were great at first... by the time I realised what was happening I was already in deep... and there is a lot if love between us... it's hard to walk away from that, my daughter is very settled here & loves where we live.
I'm NOT making excuses but those are some of the facts of the situation...
I guess I was wondering if others would find what he said offensive or was it just me & my sensitivity to the topic as he claims. ..!

Katgurl

Omg I am stunned by some of the replies here.

This man has no right to talk to you like that. Saying get off your fat ass would only be funny to a skinny person. I would like to be 10lbs lighter and am very sensitive about it. If a boyfriend or friend says that to me KNOWING it would hurt me then that would tell me they don't care about my feelings. My sister is very sensitive about her nose, nobody would ever tell her to keep her big nose out as its a sore point/

He says he is embarrassed by you? That's his problem. You haven't changed drastically since you met so he can either accept you or not. He has no right to be undermining you or expecting you to apologise for yourself.

I know it's never as simple as just leave him but I would leave a nasty bully like you have described. Your partner should support you. Yours seems to want to blame you and belittle you for all his own frustrations in life.

unreg999

Yes I think you are right Katgurl... it's very confusing. .. he will say something really hurtful about me or my family or something, we will have a massive row & I will tell him in very certain terms that I won't put up with that, it's over & start to make plans to leave & get all our stuff out etc
He might or might not apologise but I will still be adamant it's over... he will sulk a bit, we avoid each other but then the next day or maybe two or three days later he will be all kisses & cuddles and what's wrong? I then come across as the complete bitch that can't let things go...
What he doesn't realise though is that he might be looking at these as isolated incidences but for me it's hurt on top of hurt on top of hurt... as much as I do like to wipe the slate clean & not hold grudges...
I have my own place in a nearby town now... supposedly for work purposes but I knew it would also be a safe haven of peace for me & my daughter to escape to. Been here for the last few days

LegacyUser

What a lunatic !! So your weight is the source of all his problems !! So because you are so overweight he can't have a bleedin shower !!!!!!!!!! Yeah right, if you lost all the weight and were a perfect size 10 or 8 or whatever size then he would probably find something else about you that he didn't like and suddenly that would be the source of all his problems.

I can't believe you would go out with someone like that either, works in a physically demanding job and showers once a week ugggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhh You say you love him!!!!!! jeezus has love has blinded your sense smell as well.

I house shared with a guy who worked in construction and the very minute he came home from work he was straight into the shower and if he was going out later that night he might have another one.

That is just sickening! you should probably go to counselling or something to work on your self esteem cause going out with somebody like that is doing you no favours.

Dump him and run for the hills and if you think your daughter doesn't know whats going you are in dreamland. Kids know a hell of a lot more about whats going on than parents give them credit for. I think you should stay in your safe haven, no doubt he will be on the phone saying sorry and telling you to come back and he didn't mean it until he'll blows up again.

Big Bag of Chips

Why do you threaten to leave? And how many times in your relationship have you told him it's over?

I'm not bring funny here, but, the man has little or no respect for you. I don't know how you can think that there is a lot of love between you. Have you heard the things he says? Have you actually listened? I wouldn't say things like that to the person I claim to love. To be honest, I wouldn't say things like that to someone I don't even like all that much. It is cruel and unnecessary.

I don't doubt you love him. But I would seriously question if he loves you. How can he love you if he's embarrassed by you? How can he love you if he sees you as the source of all the problems in your relationship? He is not going to change, and you just take that abuse from him. To the point where he has you questioning yourself and your right to be upset?

Leaving and going back is a silly game. You're not a teenager. Leave him for once and for all or stay with him and lay down what you will or won't accept from him. Because right now you are accepting everything he throws at you, and he is laughing at your empty threats to walk away.

unreg999

Thanks again for the replies, it's the wake up call I needed. yes I have left at this stage though a lot of my stuff is still there at his place including my dog... unfortunately I can't bring him here to my place as terms of my rental agreement, this is a great source of anxiety and concern for my daughter and I... it also means I can't just walk away and shut the door right now...
Yes I am in counselling and working hard to overcome many years of abuse at an early age.
As I said, my daughter does know what's going on even though I try to keep the worst of it from her, as I said she is far from stupid.
He has a lot of terrible issues from his own past and I know he is tormented by them but that's up to him to sort out not me
Right now I feel like my world is falling apart...

unreg999

By the way, just to clarify... leaving was never really an option before now without some serious planning and logistics... I am 3 hours away from my home and all my family and friends and didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to go to up to a couple of weeks ago, also my daughter is in school here and very happy.

Stavro Mueller

Is there anyone belonging to you who could look after the dog? Even temporarily? I know the dog is the least of your worries in some ways but for your daughter's sake...

unreg999

I have thought long & hard about this & I really don't think so... boarding kennels not really an option either as i simply can't afford it..
he's 6 years old & we just adore him...

power pants

About the dog

Plaqce ads in the area you have moved to online, (boards pet section) try an ad in the vet

See if anyone can have the dog at theirs and you walk and feed the dog.

Basically someone that wont mind the dog living with them

Its not ideal, but there is not really much other alternative.

I had to do this and at first I didn't feel comfortable with the idea but once I vetted the person out, it was better than nothing

or

just leave the dog with your husband if you believe he will walk it and look after it. Might be less stressful for the dog too

unreg999

power pants wrote:

just leave the dog with your husband if you believe he will walk it and look after it. Might be less stressful for the dog too

yes I am reasonably sure he will be looked after. .. for the time being anyway..
It just leaves that door open between us..

Roselm

Cfhhh wrote: »

Impossible to say unless you detail what your height and weight is.
Some people can be very intolerant. He may just be worried about your health. Also, it's normal if you're in love to want to look your best, not your worst, so he may see your weight gain as an indirect insult to him?
Worst insult I've heard is "You know nothing! You don't even know when to stop eating".

Edit: Should have read the whole thread before posting -just seen you're out and in your own place.That is so great -well done you! It must seem very hard now but you did the right thing.Just dont forget all the negative points about your partner you have told us-it can be easy to only remember the good when you are missing your ex.OP you can do this.

Yeah well he may be worried about her health but I am doubtful.He has said what he feels-that the fat is disgusting?! Who says something like this to their partner. He sounds horrible.I would be out of there so fast.If the OP is overweight and has been since they got together then this is the person he chose to date.He has no right to now start insulting her.And he's bringing up her weight as an insult in completely unrelated discussions.This is not normal.

bee06

unreg999 wrote: »

As I said, my daughter does know what's going on even though I try to keep the worst of it from her, as I said she is far from stupid.

OP, much better for your daughter to go through a bit of upheaval now than to live in a house where her mother is spoken to with disrespect and grow up thinking it's normal for women to be spoken to like that. Well done, I hope you get everything sorted with your dog soon.

Kathy22

Wow OP that is really really out of line and should not be the way someone who loves you speaks to you. If it was, who would need enemies. You should feel safe and comfortable around the person you call your partner and he sounds like he is being a spiteful ass. I would call him up on it. Maybe he shuld focus on improving his own bad attitude and poor personality rather than your weight!!

ABajaninCork

Kathy22 wrote: »

Wow OP that is really really out of line and should not be the way someone who loves you speaks to you. If it was, who would need enemies. You should feel safe and comfortable around the person you call your partner and he sounds like he is being a spiteful ass. I would call him up on it. Maybe he shuld focus on improving his own bad attitude and poor personality rather than your weight!!

Not to mention his personal hygiene...

unreg999

I have called him on it so many times... most times he apologises & then things will be good... sometimes for months or weeks... but it always happens again...
Once we went shopping & he sat in the car in a busy shopping centre pointing through the window at other people passing by going 'fat' 'obese' 'fat' etc while we were having a sandwich for lunch
I got so upset, my daughter was in the back of the car too...
He never notices or comments or even encourages me when I do lose weight... usually he just rolls his eyes & says 'oh here we go again, I wonder how long this will last this time' or wants me to do it his way even though he has never had a weight problem & didn't even know that there are calories in sugar!
once I was doing well & he said to me 'maybe your are losing weight' but then a few hours later said 'I wish I hadn't said anything earlier cos now you'll probably think you're ok & pack it all in...'
I could go on & on with these stories but I won't cos I'm only upsetting myself thinking about how he has treated me or rather how I have let him treat me & the years I've wasted... I actually thought at one stage that I would spend the rest of my life with this man. .. (
my closest friend & the only person I am completely honest with reckons The weight will fall off me once I get rid of him as I won't need it anymore to protect myself from his insults, threats & abuse...
This is the text he sent me last night -I didn't respond-
'Ive run out of patience. Its wearing me down. Im geting sick of waiting. Im losing hope. I dont know what way it will end. Something had better happen soon. I feel like im backing a looser. Maybe its all a waste of time. night'
we weren't in contact at all really apart from when I had to go to the house to collect some stuff so this was out of the blue.