What 'presumptive' phrases get you really irritated?

pragmatic1

"I hate to do this to you but". Usually asked by a boss of some sort and usually involves a task that they don't want to do.

HandsomeDan

Bum ride

Maximus Alexander

BeerWolf wrote: »

Saying "literally" for anything but.

"I literally died right then and there I was so embarrassed!"

"He literally broke a leg trying to get there as fast as possible"

etc.

The word literally means the opposite to what they're using it to convey.

deise08

Oooh this one really gets me!
'I know you're on your break but.....'
or
'I know you're finished but..........'

I work in a supermarket and even though I have changed out of my uniform, they're still asking me stuff!

Duggy747

"Cheer up, it could be worse......"


*sounds of choking as I strangle them*

OldNotWIse

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

The word literally means the opposite to what they're using it to convey.

As does "practically"

Pat Mustard

"I'll tell anyone to their face what I think of them."

Code for pig ignorant.


"Chill out"

Code for a massive sense of entitlement.

Summer wind

"Well technically I've already done that".


This saying drives me mental.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

"Surely"

Often used to strengthen ones belief and emphasize shock if something could be true. It's pretentious in my opinion and often pairs with a massive sense of self entitlement/jealousy.

"Surely if they can afford a BMW they can afford to X Y Z"

"Surely if I am a paying customer I would expect "insert something rediculous", but they don't offer that, poor customer service"

etc etc...

jimgoose

"Clearly", i.e. I am about to run the steam locomotive of my astounding ignorance and prejudice over and through whatever your piddling little argument is. Example: "The national debt is now at forty-seven bazillion of your Earth quid, so clearly anyone drawing the dole more than six months should be fed into a wood-chipper and used to keep old people warm, provided they can afford it".

zanador

'Just saying' makes me want to stab people. Also more recently 'get a grip'. F off and grip yourself

Robsweezie

anyone who starts a sentence with "enlighten me" needs a punch in the nose.

Eileen Down

This one
" I don't care what you say but..."

fizzypish

"In my defense"

I generally lead with this when I've done something totally wrong and I know it. Its usually followed by an apology.

Shrap

Saipanne wrote: »

With the greatest respect...


Always followed by a disrespectful comment.

Was about to say similar. I think "With all due respect" is even worse though as it invariably means "I don't think you're due enough respect for me to outright tell you you're wrong, so I'll just pick holes in your argument till you work out I have no respect for your opinion."

diomed

I hear what you're saying ...

blinding

" No dramas "

harney

Do you love it?.........fcuk off and die. I'll decide the strength of my emotions grrrrr.

mikom

"at the end of the day"

Most used by premiership footballers and braindead fucks..........

Magico Gonzalez

"I know you won't/don't like this but...."

"It's not your sort of (movie/film/music/book etc) but it's brilliant.."

Thinly veiled way of saying you are not clever or sophisticated as me and don't need to pretend to like something that my vast intellect has allowed me to enjoy, you'll never be able to.

Faaaaakk right off.

suicide_circus

Officey people replying to your email

"I will revert back to you"

Meaning that they will literally morph back into you as if you are a more primitive version of themselves on the evolutionary scale like a human turning back into homo erectus.

FrKurtFahrt

"Let me put that in very simple terms for you......"
"In layman's language , what that means is....."

Day Lewin

"So you're saying that..."

No, I'm not. And I didn't say that and I don't even think that.

PizzamanIRL

"Thanks in advance"

First, you're presuming I'm going to do what you're asking.
Second, you almost always say thanks again when the job is done anyway.

martyos121

"Will ya do me a small favour?"

No I fecking won't, usually for two reasons.
1. It's anything but "small" and requires a great amount of effort.
2. Do it yourself you lazy geebag.

coffee_cake

People requesting you do something by saying "you might send john an email / type that up / whatever"

Yeah ... I might not, either...

cloudatlas

Anything related to baseball, normally spoken by somebody in a tight business suit...

'let's touch base on that'

'that's a whole other ball game'

'Stepped up to the plate'

'He threw a curve ball'

'Right off the bat'

**** you baseball!

thelad95

'Sure look'

PLL

Duggy747 wrote: »

"Cheer up, it could be worse......"


*sounds of choking as I strangle them*

I tried to have a serious conversation with a friend once, about the fact I was very unhappy and thought I was suffering from depression and that is what they said to me. No wonder the suicide rate is so high. Irish people see to have the impression that unless your world is falling apart around you need to get on with things. This 'things could be worse' bullshít mentality.


One I never understood was 'Go fúck yourself'

thelad95

'What's for you, won't pass you by'

Ah feck off.