Depressed... Low self esteem daughter

Dontnonfstuff

My 20 yr old daughter has become very sad tearful and has lost her usual swagger and confidence of late. She has recently come out of her first serious relationship and has a very low self esteem She has a good many talents and qualities and in many ways is quite privileged But she can see none of that. She is a first yr student in UCD.
I think she would benefit from some therapy but I am unsure where to start. Any suggestions? Thank you!

Valmont

I don't want to assume too much, OP, but wouldn't a bout of the blues after a break-up be quite normal for a twenty-year old just heading out into the world? I say this because it might be a shame to blow what might be a rational reaction to an upsetting situation into something 'big' like depression. There is a find a therapist sticky at the top of the forum here.

JuliusCaesar

Here's the Find A Therapist link. She - or you - can read up on the different modalities too, from links there. She can also access the college Student Counselling Service.

But as Valmont says, a low is to be expected after the break up of any relationship. Generally people go through a few, before finding the person they want to settle with. And it's quite important to allow that grief - the emotional processing includes learning more about yourself, about relationships, learning coping strategies, learning how to deal with adversity and so on.

Dontnonfstuff

Thank you for your helpful advice. You are probably quite right that she needs to process her grief and learn more about herself. However I fear that there may be other issues that have not been dealt with and my daughter might well benefit from talking with someone. I appreciate your reply. Thank you.

DM addict

As has already been said, feeling low after a serious break up is totally normal, especially at her age. I'd say focus on getting her through that, for now. College counsellors can be useful to, sometimes you just need a friendly ear.

kerry4sam

Dontnonfstuff wrote: »

My 20 yr old daughter has become very sad tearful and has lost her usual swagger and confidence of late. She has recently come out of her first serious relationship and has a very low self esteem She has a good many talents and qualities and in many ways is quite privileged But she can see none of that. She is a first yr student in UCD.
I think she would benefit from some therapy but I am unsure where to start. Any suggestions? Thank you!

Well done to you on noticing and not everyone does. I was subjected to this amongst other issues when I volunteered as a GardaReserve and it affected me to no end. Still unsure how I managed to keep my full-time job and relationships such was the impact on ME. My own Late Loving Dad noticed and it killed him watching me being subjected to this treatment and knowing its tolerated by the powers-that-be (so much so that I even noticed the difference in him!). He ended up being affected in other ways by them also as a result of how close we were (Daddys Girl here).
^^^ Only telling you this as I experienced in the past and still do some days, severe low self-esteem and real-low confidence and that's where it stemmed from for me.

I Hope you will all be patient with her during this period.

Sincerely hope it doesn't last for too long for you all; it could be the break-up, but could also be other issues like pressure from starting in college and all that brings; could there be pressure/stress from another aspect in her life - is she working? How would that be going if she is?

Again, delighted that you noticed. You could perhaps speak with your own GP first soon on what they suggest you look out for and keep a close eye on her; keep regular contact and be understanding & patient with her.
Again, try and find out if she has any other problems, maybe you could assist with them if she has. She may need help and may not necessarily ask for it.

Just my thoughts,
Sincerely Hope your young daughter redeems her self-esteem; confidence and buzz for life again soon.
Just be aware that it may take time.