Unusual sexual attractions

Gummy Panda

lmagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

Anyone else have any unusual sexual attractions?

retro:electro

Huh

Leo Demidov

Your sister.

jungleman

uh....what?

The Moldy Gowl

http://media.giphy.com/media/gYf9usudAlIbK/giphy.gif

Señor Fancy Pants

B.b.b.b.but Tyrannosaurs only have ickle arms....how ya meant to get a prehistoric reach around?

mikeycoz

It couldn't even give you a peddle and crank:-(

PucaMama

Repost! Well copy paste anyway

Peregrine

I'm never watching Jurassic Park with you :eek:

ftse100

That's definitely the weirdest thing I have ever read. Jesus Christ.

The_Valeyard

Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?

Zemuppet

No, no. Dig up stupid!

Burkie94

I love lamp

ygolometsipe

Gummy Panda wrote: »

lmagine this.

its a dot

Zemuppet

I AM GROOT

Insect Overlord

Goes back at LEAST to the middle of 2012 http://www.wowhead.com/forums&topic=77103.7237/drop-by-and-say-hi-recycle-bin

jungleman

do you google a T-rex and pull yourself off...? Or does there have to be some kind of backstory, like your toilet is blocked and a plumber calls round who just happens to be a T-rex, and he "fixes your pipe"

MarkAnthony

Have you tried granny porn?

Merkin

Gummy Panda wrote: »

lmagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

Anyone else have any unusual sexual attractions?

Why then are you rummaging through knicker drawers? Dinosaurs didn't wear panties did they?

Day Lewin

So what are you doing, rummaging in the knicker drawers? Looking for a Pantosaurus?

Merkin

Or a Thongasaurus maybe?

Chucken

ftse100 wrote: »

That's definitely the weirdest thing I have ever read. Jesus Christ.

Really?

AboutaWeekAgo

That's some tasty copypasta

You're a panda, you're not meant to have a sex drive. All you need to do is eat bamboo and be adorable.

MarkAnthony

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/734153/335247.jpg

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/734153/335248.jpg

WTF has happened to the image tags?

DoYouEvenLift

Strong unawareness of copypastas ITT

smcgiff

Crocodile or alligator do anything for you?

Mental Mickey

Gummy Panda wrote: »

lmagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

Anyone else have any unusual sexual attractions?

WTAF???

Day Lewin

Birds are descended from dinosaurs - does that help?

The Moldy Gowl

katemarch wrote: »

So what are you doing, rummaging in the knicker drawers? Looking for a Pantosaurus?

More a gowlasauras

Mental Mickey

katemarch wrote: »

Birds are descended from dinosaurs - does that help?

The OP's brain has descended from his a*!eh0le, methinks?

smcgiff

katemarch wrote: »

Birds are descended from dinosaurs - does that help?

Birds is another name for women... and we're back on track.

You're welcome OP.

Insect Overlord

MarkAnthony wrote: »

WTF has happened to the image tags?

There are no image tags in After Hours, n00b! :P

Chucken

Gowlasauras Rex wrote: »

More a gowlasauras

Stop flirting with him :eek:

RGDATA!

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

Anyone else have any unusual sexual attractions?

do you imagine the Tyrannosaurs with feathers or no?

The Moldy Gowl

Chucken wrote: »

Stop flirting with him :eek:

He knows I love him.

jester77

Blowfish

Insect Overlord

jester77 wrote: »

Blowfish

Mermaids

Asarlai

Moving statues really get me going

the groutch

I thought pandas were supposed to be against sexual harassment.

One eyed Jack

Gummy Panda wrote: »

lmagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

Anyone else have any unusual sexual attractions?

You could always ask your partner to dress up in a Barney suit and leap around a bit, should help alleviate the tension.

Just don't do like every other panda does though - eats, shoots and leaves.

previous user

you're a ba-aaad Panda.

padd b1975

MarkAnthony wrote: »

Have you tried granny porn?

.....or maybe less granny porn?

fizzypish

Read a book before which dealt with this type of issue. Can't remember the name. Soldiers go off to fight distant aliens for a year. Come back and 1000 earth years have elapsed. Everyone is now gay and look upon the soldiers heterosexuality in the same way gays were looked at back in the 40's or 50's. It wasn't the central theme but interesting none the less.

Gummy Panda

Gummy Panda wrote: »

They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like

(They have a pretty good idea from

It is ok Tree Beard. You will find the Ent Wives some day.

Gummy Panda wrote: »

attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else.

I like shared masturbation sessions too much to be attracted to anyone who can not even reach their own genitals.

How is Godzilla for you then?

jimgoose

Simple - compromise. Find a woman with a huge arse, little thalidomide arms, no chest and a loud screechy voice. I suggest Dáil Eireann.

Nforce

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PNhLgpCqWc

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Barney is a child dinosaur. That;s just too far.

SimonTemplar

There is so much weird stuff on AH these days I can't distinguish between people trolling and genuine posts. This week we've had:
- a guy blaming a mess in the toilet on a fictional maid to impress a girl
- a guy bringing a girl to the swimming pool on a first date who doesn't want to get her hair wet, and then abandoning the girl in the pool.
- a guy who is only sexually attracted to Tyrannosaurus Rex

:pac:

Uncle Ben

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Barney is a child dinosaur. That;s just too far.

Is he shaved!!

flutered

MarkAnthony wrote: »

Have you tried granny porn?

i saw a little of some uk tv program last night about prossies, they interviewed an 84 year old wan, she charges stg250 per hour