can you take criticism?

Robsweezie

how good are you at taking and accepting criticism, constructive or otherwise? does it bother you what others say or or you resilient enough to just shake it off?

dmc17

Robsweezie wrote: »

how good are you at taking and accepting criticism, constructive or otherwise? does it bother you what others say or or you resilient enough to just shake it off?

What do you mean, can I take criticism????????? I'll give you criticism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, to answer your question. No. I can't

Sand

Depends - I can be fairly self critical. I know my limitations, I know what I'm good at - I know what I'm not good at. Were someone to offer criticism where I already accept I'm poor I can accept that fairly easily.

Its where someone tells you that you're rubbish/could improve at something you think you're good at that it stings. I don't think anyone is immune to that.

Apart from the circus freaks who go on to X-Factor who are hopelessly untalented and need the likes of Simon Cowell to explain to them in excruciating detail how rubbish they are in front of a TV audience of millions. I refuse to believe they haven't been already told they are rubbish at singing.

bodice ripper

Why?! What the **** have you heard?!

Links234

Really depends, but I'd say in general no, I tend to take things a little too personal and get upset a bit easily.

Depends who it comes from. If it is someone I have little respect for then I ignore it like a drop of rain. From someone who I respect however I try to incorporate it as best I can into my life going forward.

Cantremember

Ridiculous thread. Lazily thought out and badly worded. A throwback to ask fm. I'm disappointed with this level of interaction. I felt we had risen above this and moved to real blue sky thinking. Going forward, let's do better.

How was it for you OP?

Aenaes

Sure, what is there to criticise.

Depends on the mood I'm already in and how it's proffered

everyday mood + hey I think you could do this better = grand
bad mood / bad week + you're sh!t at everything and you should stop even trying = :mad:

Menas

At work I would prefer to get more 'constructive feedback' on how I am doing....so develop. Usually it is just 'your doing great, keep it up'.

pragmatic1

Depends on who's dishing it out and the manner in which it's given.

If it's given in a diplomatic manner, by someone I respect, then I'm generally good at accepting criticism and would see it as a tool for self improvement.

If it's given in a blunt manner, by someone I don't like, then I'll likely become defensive and resentful.

One eyed Jack

I always liked this quote from Johannes Kepler -


I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses.

Tail Docker

Feck the critics. Hurlers on the ditch. Never ones to do, always ones to bitch.

Robsweezie

Cantremember wrote:

Ridiculous thread. Lazily thought out and badly worded. A throwback to ask fm. I'm disappointed with this level of interaction. I felt we had risen above this and moved to real blue sky thinking. Going forward, let's do better.

Cantremember wrote:

How was it for you OP? 

ah heeyor!!' leave it ouhh

PizzamanIRL

Yes. It means they're paying attention to your work etc.

I see it as a challenge.

IrlMonk

Cantremember wrote: »

Ridiculous thread. Lazily thought out and badly worded. A throwback to ask fm. I'm disappointed with this level of interaction. I felt we had risen above this and moved to real blue sky thinking. Going forward, let's do better.

How was it for you OP?

hahahaha

bnt

I can take constructive criticism, but it had better be well thought-out and presented. Far too often, in my experience, criticism stems from ignorance, and then it doesn't matter how well-meaning or "constructive" the intention behind it. I do make mistakes, but I'm more likely to be criticised for something that wasn't a mistake but was just ... not what was expected.

Dirty Steve

I dislike criticism from someone who takes a few minutes to look over something you've spent a long time working on and then makes ridiculous suggestions based upon a five minute review.

TheBeardedLady

No, I wouldn't be great at taking criticism, constructive or otherwise. That's a serious fault of mine. Every term, my students have to write feedback on my teaching and it fills me with dread and I take it quite personally although it's getting easier now after 5 years, which is a good thing - it's thickening up my skin a fair amount.

Saying that, I do get over it quick enough and I wouldn't hold it against a person.

I know what my faults are and I don't like to be reminded of them by other people, which I know is my ego at play.

This is something I'm actively working on though and I've made a bit of progress in this area as I know it holds me back from taking proper risks in life.

Saipanne

Robsweezie wrote: »

how good are you at taking and accepting criticism, constructive or otherwise? does it bother you what others say or or you resilient enough to just shake it off?

I can. I thrive on it. But in general, Irish people can't stand it.

Irish people hate an earnest man with good intentions.

TheBeardedLady

Saipanne wrote: »

I can. I thrive on it. But in general, Irish people can't stand it.

Irish people hate an earnest man with good intentions.

Could you explain the last line?

Venus In Furs

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

No, I wouldn't be great at taking criticism, constructive or otherwise. That's a serious fault of mine. Every term, my students have to write feedback on my teaching and it fills me with dread and I take it quite personally although it's getting easier now after 5 years, which is a good thing - it's thickening up my skin a fair amount.

Saying that, I do get over it quick enough and I wouldn't hold it against a person.

I know what my faults are and I don't like to be reminded of them by other people, which I know it's my ego at play.

This is something I'm actively working on though and I've made a bit of progress in this area as I know it holds me back from taking proper risks in life.

I'd bet you're better at taking it than you think you are. The fact you're kinda apologetic and fully acknowledging of your flaws would indicate that to me anyway.

Sometimes people aren't "trying to help" anyway, they're just being asses. And don't get me started on the "tough love" gem. :rolleyes:

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Depends who it comes from. If it is someone I have little respect for then I ignore it like a drop of rain. From someone who I respect however I try to incorporate it as best I can into my life going forward.

Very well-adjusted

Saipanne

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Could you explain the last line?

It's self explanatory. It's hardly cryptic.

Venus In Furs

Saipanne wrote: »

It's self explanatory. It's hardly cryptic.

Well, take criticism of it so - "Irish people"... which Irish people?
AH is painful to read so much of the time because of this "Such and such people are this and this" crap, particularly "Irish people" (so I stay out of those threads usually, but I do see these tedious comments).
I mean... be specific? Which earnest men with good intentions? It's just a vague blurt, it's meaningless tbh. That's what TBL is driving at, I assume.
Could you at least give an example of what you're talking about?

Saipanne

Saipanne wrote: »

Irish people hate an earnest man with good intentions.

In case people don't know what earnest means.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/earnest

Saipanne

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Well, take criticism of it so - "Irish people"... which Irish people?
AH is painful to read so much of the time because of this "Such and such people are this and this" crap, particularly "Irish people" (so I stay out of those threads usually, but I do see these tedious comments).
I mean... be specific? Which earnest men with good intentions? It's just a vague blurt, it's meaningless tbh. That's what TBL is driving at, I assume.
Could you at least give an example of what you're talking about?

No, I won't. If you don't accept my words, that's fine. I can take that.

eviltwin

I would take it well enough but I would dwell on it and brood a bit too much afterwards.

whupdedo

Saipanne wrote: »

. But in general, Irish people can't stand it.

Irish people hate an earnest man with good intentions.

What a truly stunningly moronic post

Its only the first of January, but your already in with a chance of winning this years tar and brush award

TheBeardedLady

Saipanne wrote: »

It's self explanatory. It's hardly cryptic.

It's not though - I wouldn't have asked if it was. I don't see how it relates to what you wrote before it. I'm not being smart, I'm genuinely curious. And maybe my mind is not working properly with this ferocious hangover.

One eyed Jack

Saipanne wrote: »

I can. I thrive on it. But in general, Irish people can't stand it.

Irish people hate an earnest man with good intentions.

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Could you explain the last line?

I think this is what it means really -

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Sometimes people aren't "trying to help" anyway, they're just being asses. And don't get me started on the "tough love" gem. :rolleyes:

But I think it's be very much dependent on how the critique, or indeed criticism is phrased and put across.

Sometimes if a person has a bad attitude generally or chips on their shoulders, it's very difficult to offer any form of advice without it being perceived as a personal attack, and sometimes it really IS the case that the person is just being an ass.

I'd always say to anyone to take time to consider the source of the criticism or the advice rather than jumping to immediate conclusions about the message the person is trying to convey.

Saipanne

Nurse those hangovers folks.

TheBeardedLady

Ah right. I can't speak for Ireland as a nation with regards to this. I don't buy into the tough love bollocks either and think it's often just a case of someone who doesn't know your situation very well or give a **** about you being a prick.

If someone acknowledges I'm doing my best but there's room for improvement in a certain area, I might not like to hear it but I'll take it on board. I think most people, Irish or not, are the same, I would've thought.

Although saying that, the Spanish are particularly direct and don't sugar coat criticism at all and I don't think the Irish are. I've had to really toughen up living there tbh. They still don't like to be criticised though.

Saipanne

You're not meant to like it, necessarily. But you have a choice to use the information in a positive or negative way. The latter being getting angry and bitching to your friends about it, which is what most do.

One eyed Jack

Saipanne wrote: »

You're not meant to like it, necessarily. But you have a choice to use the information in a positive or negative way. The latter being getting angry and bitching to your friends about it, which is what most do.

Yes but as has been pointed out, that's hardly an intrinsically Irish mentality?

Saipanne

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Yes but as has been pointed out, that's hardly an intrinsically Irish mentality?

No, but of say, Europeans I have encountered, I think Irish are acutely bad.

Connemara Farmer

It depends on the information and how it's delivered. I do plenty of things arseways, I know that. I don't mind it being pointed out in a helpful way, constructive criticism. Actually I value it. But, if it's done in a way designed to rise me, I no longer rise to that bait, why dwell on that type of sh1t.

TheBeardedLady

Saipanne wrote: »

You're not meant to like it, necessarily. But you have a choice to use the information in a positive or negative way. The latter being getting angry and bitching to your friends about it, which is what most do.

True, but the information can often be inaccurate. I think it's arrogant to assume you (people generally) are right on the money about a person as we often get people wrong - I know I certainly have on more than one occasion. I might take criticism on board from someone who knows me well (although it's unpleasant to hear) but not from some random person I know five minutes.

As an example, I met a guy this Summer while walking the Camino De Santiago who took it upon himself to psychoanalyse me quite harshly 5 minutes after meeting me and he was off the mark big style. I didn't get thick with him and listened to what he had to say but he was talking out of his arse big style and I was annoyed that he felt he was in a position to make that kind of judgement of me.

I like this:

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth

Connemara Farmer

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I like this:

Sunscreen song?

TheBeardedLady

Connemara Farmer wrote: »

Sunscreen song?

No, my own invention *ahem*

TheBeardedLady

Saipanne wrote: »

No, but of say, Europeans I have encountered, I think Irish are acutely bad.

I do find Europeans more direct than us for sure but I don't know how constructive it is as interactions tend to get fairly heated quite quickly, particularly in extremely direct countries like Spain and Italy. A bit more thinking before speaking wouldn't go astray there imo.

I think people hold up directness as this wonderful quality in a person when it's often just plain old rude. It's an aspect I miss about Ireland (the lack of directness), funnily enough.


I met a girl from Holland once who told me she went travelling and put on weight. When she got back to Amsterdam, the first thing her family commented on was her weight gain, which she told me was totally normal there. I can't see how commenting on someone's temporary weight gain from travelling and drinking too much beer is constructive or helpful.

Gandalph

Most people will tell you they enjoy a bit of constructive criticism but in reality when they are met with it they become sour. In saying that a lot of critiques are also very bad offering up their criticisms in a sound manner.

pauliebdub

Irish people, from my experience at work are terrible at accepting criticism. It's often taken very personally, seen as a personal attack and they see the person offering the criticism as patronising or looking down on them. Working class Dubs are often the worst.

mrsbyrne

I can take neither criticism or direction. It's a terrible way to be. Strangely enough I have no problem admitting that I was wrong and will apologise as long as that is absolutely the end of the matter and it's never mentioned again and I can go right back to being the acknowledged queen of eeverything

Saipanne

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I do find Europeans more direct than us for sure but I don't know how constructive it is as interactions tend to get fairly heated quite quickly, particularly in extremely direct countries like Spain and Italy. A bit more thinking before speaking wouldn't go astray there imo.

I think people hold up directness as this wonderful quality in a person when it's often just plain old rude. It's an aspect I miss about Ireland (the lack of directness), funnily enough.


I met a girl from Holland once who told me she went travelling and put on weight. When she got back to Amsterdam, the first thing her family commented on was her weight gain, which she told me was totally normal there. I can't see how commenting on someone's temporary weight gain from travelling and drinking too much beer is constructive or helpful.

I know. You're not Dutch. Which is the point.

Lau2976

I've never had issue taking critisim. When I was a teenager I was my own worst critic so that's prepared me for the future. Maybe it'll be different in the future but no one has ever made any comments that I either haven't said to myself or said worse.

Plus being someone who's job it is to make art for other people gets you use to that pretty soon. People always have something to say about your work even If you didn't ask and things which would usually be said in private to someone else are said to your face.

TheBeardedLady

Saipanne wrote: »

I know. You're not Dutch. Which is the point.

She told me because the comment annoyed her. It's not an aspect of her culture I envy.


I've lived in Spain long enough to know that being direct is not all it's cracked up to be.

TheBeardedLady

pauliebdub wrote: »

Irish people, from my experience at work are terrible at accepting criticism. It's often taken very personally, seen as a personal attack and they see the person offering the criticism as patronising or looking down on them. Working class Dubs are often the worst.

It often is though. Awful lot of snobbery towards working class Dubliners in this country.

What other country have you lived in where criticism was taken well?

pauliebdub

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

It often is though. Awful lot of snobbery towards working class Dubliners in this country.

What other country have you lived in where criticism was taken well?

The US, UK and Germany. I'm talking about constructive criticism, not any type of abuse or snobbery.

philstar

alan partridge can't take criticism :pac:

1.00 in....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CbpbD144hc

Capt'n Midnight

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Could you explain the last line?

Oscar Wilde wrote about this and the importance of being earnest.