No fear of rejection

Littlekittylou

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

I was reading a very interesting story about a year ago about psychologist named Albert Ellis. Ellis was a very shy young man and didn't like talking in public. Ellis wanted to change this.When Ellis was 19 years old, he went to the Bronx botanical gardens everyday for a month and would sit on a bench and speak to random women and even ask them out.

Ellis talked to over 100 women over the month and only got 1 date, however Ellis was happy with the result because he had become desensitized to rejection. Ellis began to hone his technique and said that "I got to be one of the best picker-uppers of women in the United States, and finally started making it with them"


Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't care about being rejected and led to a successful outcome ?

Problem with being a sensitive girl is you never become desensitized.

I think it helps to realize that it just wasn't meant to be really. And if they were not into you it was never gonna happen anyway.

irishdude11

I used to only approach women when hammered because I hate rejection. Now I am just not willing to drink like that anymore and I have no interest in being rejected while sober, it would depress me way too much, so I don't approach women at all now. I've had alot of one night stands and three longish relationships but every one of them came about when I was drunk.

I don't see these situations arising again because I could not let someone have that power over me while I'm sober..ie. decide to reject me or not, no way in hell am I putting myself in a position where some stranger gets to basically say I am less than them.

Mickey H

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

I was reading a very interesting story about a year ago about psychologist named Albert Ellis. Ellis was a very shy young man and didn't like talking in public. Ellis wanted to change this.When Ellis was 19 years old, he went to the Bronx botanical gardens everyday for a month and would sit on a bench and speak to random women and even ask them out.

Ellis talked to over 100 women over the month and only got 1 date, however Ellis was happy with the result because he had become desensitized to rejection. Ellis began to hone his technique and said that "I got to be one of the best picker-uppers of women in the United States, and finally started making it with them"


Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't care about being rejected and led to a successful outcome ?

He'd be a ledge in Coppers.

KomradeBishop

Personally, when I meet someone I like, the fear of romantic rejection is far less than the fear that I'd be rejected as a friend as well - so I'm ok with telling someone I like them and being rejected, but if that leads to a possible friendship falling-off as well, the latter is what makes it more difficult/painful.

So, romantic rejection is fine, but losing the opportunity to get to know someone I like (even if not romantically), is the more painful bit.

Joe Doe

Covey also recommended this for 'business/entrepreneurial advancement' i.e. Do a stint in a call center on very high volume cold sales.
Then an early morning's elevator pitch at the Dragoons Den live, would be like a whole fun-filled, day at a summertime funfair.

'Dapper's laughs' repeats might also be worth a watch on itv7...

Oscars Well.

I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterwards.

Gyrocream

irishdude11 wrote: »

I used to only approach women when hammered because I hate rejection. Now I am just not willing to drink like that anymore and I have no interest in being rejected while sober, it would depress me way too much, so I don't approach women at all now. I've had alot of one night stands and three longish relationships but every one of them came about when I was drunk.

I don't see these situations arising again because I could not let someone have that power over me while I'm sober..ie. decide to reject me or not, no way in hell am I putting myself in a position where some stranger gets to basically say I am less than them.

Rejecting someone isn't telling someone that they are less than you. It just means they aren't interested. For a start they don't even know the real you. That's a very unhealthy mindset you have, you are missing out on meeting countless amazing women. Don't let low self esteem control your life.

Mister Vain

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't care about being rejected and led to a successful outcome ?

Yeah but I was way out of her league, hence why I didn't care about being rejected.

Wabbit Ears

I think yer man Ellis was conditioning himself to be a bit sociopathic. Its not anyway healthy to have no negative emotional attachment to rejection and the idea of randomly asking every woman out for no reason other than they are there and they are a woman also is very cold and callous behaviour.

A friend of mine for many years who it turns out is in fact mentally ill was like this. He firmly believed in playing the numbers and would just ask any woman until he scored. Ugliest SOB Ive ever met but had practically 100% success rate when going out to get a ride.

I used to admire it for what it was but I was never able to emulate it. I know I cant handle a small amount of rejection without subjecting myself to literally hundreds of episodes of it a week!!

RossFixxxed

A pretty simple idea is to go and talk to women. Not with any intention of asking anyone out. No techniques, no lines, no desperation, relaxed and at a distance. Women are people, and people like someone friendly who'll have a chat generally.

You will inevitably get shot down, badly. It happens everyone. It helps to see it from the other side. Some of the 'lines' drunk guys use in clubs are seriously embarrassing/blunt/rude and it must get tiring hearing it on a night out. The rise in the 'Pick Up Artist' scene means some guys are trying things they either don't understand or are just completely wrong and it's so blatant when you sit down and watch it for a while.

Years and years ago I abandoned any idea of some kind of plan or approach. I just talk to people and if there are hidden agendas or there is game playing going on I will happily wander off somewhere else, with less drama. Over-thinking this will drive you mad. There's enough things in the world to be scared of, one woman not finding me attractive is not one of them.

Mister Vain

RossFixxxed wrote: »

A pretty simple idea is to go and talk to women. Not with any intention of asking anyone out. No techniques, no lines, no desperation, relaxed and at a distance. Women are people, and people like someone friendly who'll have a chat generally.

You will inevitably get shot down, badly. It happens everyone. It helps to see it from the other side. Some of the 'lines' drunk guys use in clubs are seriously embarrassing/blunt/rude and it must get tiring hearing it on a night out. The rise in the 'Pick Up Artist' scene means some guys are trying things they either don't understand or are just completely wrong and it's so blatant when you sit down and watch it for a while.

Years and years ago I abandoned any idea of some kind of plan or approach. I just talk to people and if there are hidden agendas or there is game playing going on I will happily wander off somewhere else, with less drama. Over-thinking this will drive you mad. There's enough things in the world to be scared of, one woman not finding me attractive is not one of them.

Same here. I was always over thinking and over analysing; it used to drive me mad. It's best to go in with no intentions.