Motivation/sleep issues - TRT the answer?

Under_Graduate

Hi, I was just posting this on another forum, and was pointed in the direction of TRT.
Instead of re-typing, I'm just gonna paste it here

It's basically relevant to motivation and sleep issues - I appreciate any incites.

I was training to be a professional kickboxer until these issues really took over - just as a little back story.

**

I've seen several threads on here dealing with insomnia issues.

I've had insomnia since I was about 21 or just before. I'm 28 now.
But that's really the least of my concerns.

Previous to my turning 21, I was super motivated.
In fact, I was probably the most energetic person I knew.
I probably over did it a little in terms of training, but the fact is there was ton of energy there.

Up before college for a run, college all day, training in the evening, party once or twice a week and sleep in on weekends, all no problem.

I don't know what the **** happened, but I went abroad to do my work placement at the end of 3rd year, and noticed that on weekends, I wasn't able to sleep in like I used to be able to.

The next year at college, 4th and final year, I was getting like, 4 hours average sleep a night, but I could still function - train every day and get my degree finished.

Went abroad again for work after college, lasted about 6 months and had to quit my job.
Spent the next four years living like a bum, working part time, screwing whores by the dozen, barely able to train properly but focusing on learning lifting exercises and calesthetics cause it was more managable + I could take it at my own pace.

Then I totally burn the **** out and low and behold, I say **** it and move back in with my parents (the catalyst being a nervous breakdown), where I am now and have been for the last 6 months, and they are now on the verge of kicking me the **** out cause of my dirt lazy attitude.

But the root of these issues it seems to me is, my motivation just went out the window at some point.

Where once I had energy for days and ****ing days, suddenly I can hardly get out of bed in the morning.

What kind of problem presents those symptoms?


I saw a couple of shrinks, and they put me on prozac (anit-depressants), which didn't do a god damn thing, so they took me off it again.
They thought it would help with the tiredness, but it didn't do ****.

They also put me on olanzapine, an anti-psychotic, which does help ease the panic symptoms I get when I think of my life and how it's basically been flushed down the toilet, so I told them I wanted to stay on that.

They mentioned I may have
1) Autism - because of what they perceive as social withdrawal over the years, that was one of their initial conclusions.
I had plenty of friends when I was a kid though, and did alright with girls too, dating one for a couple years and seeing a string of girls before the problems kicked in as mentioned above.
I don't know does that rule it out or what though.

2) Delusional disorder.
Which is why they put me on the anti-psychotic initially.
I'm not sure how they came to this diagnosis; perhaps cause of some perceived warped views of the world and **** I may have presented.


Now I know a lot of people may adopt the attitude, "just GET motivated. Everyone gets tired. Get your arse in gear and do something worthwhile and it will come back".

Believe me I've tried that for years, 'till I've run myself into the ground.

"Well keep trying".

I have, until I was almost admitted to a psychiatric unit for stress disorder.

They also made diagnosis of
3) Obsessive compulsive disorder - mainly related to my obsession with different bizarre means to try and re-motivate myself, one being screwing whores by the dozen, to try and combat the social withdrawal effects.

4) Personality disorder - anti-social, potential narcissistic PD.

That's a whole lot of ****, and I know folk can bandy around these terms now a days, sometimes looking for sympathy as much as anything, but that's the information I was presented with.


At this stage, I'm basically taking it upon myself to try and determine what the **** went wrong along the way, cause
a) my career is gone
b) I'm in no shape to go back to college or retrain at ****ing anything
c) I struggle to train anymore, but this is the first thing I do when I have occasional fleeting bursts of energy
d) I'm back living with my damn parents at 28; it doesn't suck much more than this.

I had tried talk therapy of the last few months also, but ending up hating the therapist I was attending, and I'm so de-motivated now, I can hardly bother looking for another one, so I don't know how beneficial that approach is/could be.


So, how can I phrase the question?

Anyone been in remotely similar situations?
Familiar with them diagnosis?
Anything at all to contribute - could point me in the any worthwhile direction, I'd appreciate it.

**

If there's another forum that maybe able to better answer or help, plz post.

I appreciate it.

Mellor

Nobody can give you a diagnosis over the internet, you need to continue with professional help.
It sounds more like a mental issue rather than a physical one, so I doubt TRT is the answer. But by all means get it checked out if only for the sake of elimination.

Are you still playing on kickboxing if you resolve the issues?

Under_Graduate

Mellor wrote: »

Nobody can give you a diagnosis over the internet, you need to continue with professional help.
It sounds more like a mental issue rather than a physical one, so I doubt TRT is the answer. But by all means get it checked out if only for the sake of elimination.

Are you still playing on kickboxing if you resolve the issues?

Yes absolutely.
I know that might throw a spanner in the works as far as testing goes, but I understand there are ways around that.
My health and getting life back on track is the main concern.

"No one can give a diagnosis over the internet"

You know, I've seen so many people and been for so many tests, and they've come back with nothing remotely conclusive so, like I said, I'm kind of taking it upon myself; attempting to determine a new approach to find out what the problem is.

I mean, there's gotta be some information, someone who specializes in these things, somewhere, that can shed some light.

I wonder if the insomnia may have been connected to stress.
Did they prescribe you any sleeping tablets

All I can really suggest is to look for another professional. If you have nothing to get out of bed for in the morning maybe "try harder" isn't going to help.
Have you tried looking for part time (volunteer) work to get you into a routine

Clearlier

From a training point of view I'd stop launching back into things the moment you have any energy. When you have some energy train easy and try to aim for small amounts of consistent training rather than pushing yourself to do as much as you can manage. If you're not sleeping and you're lacking energy generally then your body obviously struggles to recover so back off and give it a chance. If you accept that you can train less now you may be able to train more in the future.

From a more general point of view nobody sensible is going to attempt to give you a diagnosis over the internet. You'll get a million thoughts with most of them off the wall. In an ideal world you'd have a good family GP to go to who has known you since birth and persists until they've got to the root of the problem.

A couple of questions that you might ask yourself:

The way that you describe it all of your issues began when you stopped being able to sleep properly. Is that a symptom of what's wrong or the source of all the subsequent issues?

What else can you do to improve your sleep quality?

Have you been referred to any speciality other than psych?

What has your GP said? Had a referral to any speciality other than Psych?

Have you ever heard of/attempted pacing? When you look it up you'll probably see a reference to ME/CFS. I am absolutely not suggesting that you have this but the pacing technique that they use may be worth exploring as it's a good life skill that won't do any harm).

Final thought is - be kind to yourself. It reads a bit like you're beating yourself up for being like this. It doesn't do you any good so stop wasting time and energy on it and focus on other things. Easier said than done I know but keep at it.

Good luck!

Under_Graduate

I listened to news piece with a doctor from California yesterday, and one of his patients was describing issues he was having that were initially treated with SSRI's.

Having no effect he was later treated wit TRT, to huge benefit.
The symptoms he described - lack of concentration, permanent fatigue but no sleep, listlessness etc, are exactly what I have.

The only thing he mentioned that was a slight turn off was TRT can reduce the bodies natural testosterone production, and coming off it or in time, female characteristics can develop.

He did say it's used in conjunction with other meds to counter this, but my concern would be seeing a reputable doctor that really knows their business when it comes to prescribing TRT.

At this stage, it's definitely something I'm willing to try.