Ex-housemate and money

cruais

Just looking for advice on this.

Long story short. Housemate completely took the mick whilst living here, giving rent in dribs and drabs, never paid any of the bills. Lied about leaving rent out when it wasnt etc.

Anyway, housemate gave 1 days notice of moving out. I was so sick and tired of all the hassle i was secretly delighted.

heres the catch. She owes me €400 which she acknowledged and told me months ago she would pay back. She kept texting me saying ill drop that up at the weekend etc. That never came.

She is on facebook having the life of reilly out drinking 3 or 4 times a week, trips away etc. All while i could really do with the money especially for christmas as i am smashed.

Do i just come out straight and demand it back or kiss it goodbye.

Tokyo

Demand it of course - what do you have to lose? Then decide how to continue with it based on her response.

I would also presume that she has a deposit coming her way - remind her of that if she says she has no money.

CaraMay

Ask her on her Facebook page when she is going to drop up with the €400 she owes you as she must have forgotten last weekend

John_D80

Is it your property own and she was renting a room off you or something?

I'd give her one more chance and if she doesn't at least take positive steps to reimburse you then i'd take it to a solicitor. Maybe someone in the know could advise if this is the kind of thing that could be settled in a civil/small claims court?

Keep a record of all corespondence with this person as well

Paco Rodriguez

If you haven't got a receipt or something in writing you'll never see the money, if she decides not to pay you.

cruais

Yes i own the house. Rented a room to her. She was a nightmare. Never bought her own food, toiletries etc and drank like a dipso

Tokyo

cruais wrote: »

Yes i own the house. Rented a room to her. She was a nightmare. Never bought her own food, toiletries etc and drank like a dipso

If she has paid you a deposit, and you have receipts to prove what she owes, then can you not deduct it from this?

cruais

First and last rental. No deposit unfortunately

Rubberchikken

You might just need to let this go.
Chances are she won't repay you as she hadn't been very fair with you up to now

Good luck

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

cruais

Shes gone now 4 months. And good riddance to her. Its just i want my money back.

Stavro Mueller

sashafierce wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I just checked and it doesn't look like it's going to apply in this case. It would appear that it was a loose arrangement between the OP and this girl; my take on it is that the OP doesn't have a leg to stand on. Certainly if I was the OP I'd ask for that money but I'd say the chances of getting it are very slim. She sounds like she has a neck like a whale so she's more likely to laugh in the OP's face, refuse to answer her calls, block her from Facebook and disappear into the sunset.

Edit: I see our posts crossed. She's gone four months? Sorry but I think you're going to have to accept the money's gone. Galling and all as it is.

Tokyo

cruais wrote: »

Shes gone now 4 months. And good riddance to her. Its just i want my money back.

I assumed from your first post that she had just given you notice. Four months? Unless you have proof in terms of bills, receipts of what she's paid etc, consider your money long gone I think...

I would certainly ask her to repay it, but if she refuses then unfortunately, I don't think there is much you can do about it, except chalk it off to experience.

cerastes

4 months or even just past, you are unlikely to get the money off them, Id ask them and tell them you're rightly stuck, but dont hold your breath.

The thing is, once they missed the first payment or an opportunity to fix that, you should have tossed her stuff out the door, changed the locks, she knew she could get away with this with you and it seems did, I'd chalk this one up to experience, ensure lodgers pay bills on time, one opportunity to make good, even a suggestion of promises on top of promises and gone, out the door with them.
In future, do it peacefully, but be firm, say if you dont have the money when you return, you're not getting in, double latch the door, then give them 24hrs notice as you dont need someone like that in your own home, any hassle, threaten to call the gardai, and do if need be, you'r ein your own home, licencees have no rights.

oh and always take a deposit, motivates people, when they know they will only break even. Whereas, not having one, puts you on the back foot and reliant on them coming up with the cash, and always a concern you might be left high and dry.

New Home

If you don't get your money back (and if you don't, that would make her a thief, in a way, because she's keeping something that doesn't belong to her), she's hardly ever going to contact you again, she'd be too embarrassed. So, look at it this way - €400 is not a lot to pay for getting rid of someone like that from your life... Meager consolation, I know, but it's still true.

dixiefly

Contact her directly one last time by message on FB. offer to split the difference but makes sure that you get her to agree what she owes you as part of the conversation. If she refuses to commit at least you have the "proof" of the debt.
If she agrees to pay, arrange a time/ date etc and stick to it.

If she still doesn't pay, post a screen shot of the evidence to a thread of her partying and to her FB page and also if possible to a work related page. Blitz her before she can unfriend you. At the same time tell her that you will inform her employer.

amdublin

dixiefly wrote: »

If she still doesn't pay, post a screen shot of the evidence to a thread of her partying and to her FB page and also if possible to a work related page. Blitz her before she can unfriend you. At the same time tell her that you will inform her employer.

Holy god that is going way too far and you could be opening yourself up to a whole minefield of trouble.

Why would you do this??????

OP ignore this advice above.

I'd ask her about it. Agree a payment plan. But chances of you ever seeing this money again (4 months later) are so slim. Chalk it down as a loss and if you get it back it's a bonus.

cerastes

New Home wrote: »

If you don't get your money back (and if you don't, that would make her a thief, in a way, because she's keeping something that doesn't belong to her), she's hardly ever going to contact you again, she'd be too embarrassed. So, look at it this way - €400 is not a lot to pay for getting rid of someone like that from your life... Meager consolation, I know, but it's still true.

Im not convinced people that do this are embarrassed, they just want to get away with it, the person clearly preyed on the OPs better nature.

dixiefly wrote: »

Contact her directly one last time by message on FB. offer to split the difference but makes sure that you get her to agree what she owes you as part of the conversation. If she refuses to commit at least you have the "proof" of the debt.
If she agrees to pay, arrange a time/ date etc and stick to it.

If she still doesn't pay, post a screen shot of the evidence to a thread of her partying and to her FB page and also if possible to a work related page. Blitz her before she can unfriend you. At the same time tell her that you will inform her employer.

I wouldnt rule our contacting her to try get the money but the OP would only be opening another can of worms going on FB and leaving herself open to accusation that she is now stalking the other person or maybe even retaliation, these people arent worth it, be glad she's gone and there is no further loss.
And while I dont want to be criticised for victim blaming, the OP kinda brought the problem on herself by facilitating the person getting away with it, unfortunately these kind of people will take others for a ride as long as they are allowed to, the OP should have said "wheres the money for room/bills ASAP", you can be tough and pleasant about it, but if the money didnt turn up or there wasnt a good reason that could be rectified promptly inside a week, then the OP should have turfed this persons stuff on the street.

amdublin wrote: »

Holy god that is going way too far and you could be opening yourself up to a whole minefield of trouble.

Why would you do this??????

OP ignore this advice above.

I'd ask her about it. Agree a payment plan. But chances of you ever seeing this money again (4 months later) are so slim. Chalk it down as a loss and if you get it back it's a bonus.

Exactly, try get a payment plan, might get the money back or some of it, do not go the FB route, you might even be better having no dealings with them at all, its just wasted time. If they are completely unforthcoming, Id have no hesitation about spreading it the old fashioned way myself (verbally), but some might consider that as bad as FB, its not as in peoples face to see though. Certainly if anyone asked me for a recommendation Id warn them.

OP you could even go as far as to say you could provide a reference, just tell her to get someone to call her, which you'd be happy to do so long as you get your money back, even a very brief written one with the suggestion of call my number for further details. I dont think so many will willingly put up with such a persons hassle and you can always tell the truth if you're called, anyone that says they had to provide a reference to get their money and then warns you off will never allow someone in the door, you can even say that part of it was so you could warn people off when she went looking, try confirm the authenticity of the caller by asking for some specific details that can be checked, but so long as you got what was agreed and owed, who cares what the crook thinks, unless you think she's the sort that might send someone to smash your windows. I'd view references with suspicion myself, especially one that cant be called and even when they can, its not like Id rely on it solely, who knows who wrote them or why? ie to get rid of someone?

dixiefly

amdublin wrote: »

Holy god that is going way too far and you could be opening yourself up to a whole minefield of trouble.

Why would you do this??????

OP ignore this advice above.

I'd ask her about it. Agree a payment plan. But chances of you ever seeing this money again (4 months later) are so slim. Chalk it down as a loss and if you get it back it's a bonus.

You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.

I advised the OP to be nice about it and offer a chance of a compromise but if she has been treated very badly by this individual and she must be prepared to nail this person or accept that she won't see her money again.
I have had to deal with such an individual in the past and pussy footing around will almost certainly get the OP nowhere. I would have no problem exposing this individual to her friends once she has been given several chances to rectify things.

They won't be friends in the future anywhere so nail her.

dixiefly

cerastes wrote: »

Im not convinced people that do this are embarrassed, they just want to get away with it, the person clearly preyed on the OPs better nature.



I wouldnt rule our contacting her to try get the money but the OP would only be opening another can of worms going on FB and leaving herself open to accusation that she is now stalking the other person or maybe even retaliation, these people arent worth it, be glad she's gone and there is no further loss.
And while I dont want to be criticised for victim blaming, the OP kinda brought the problem on herself by facilitating the person getting away with it, unfortunately these kind of people will take others for a ride as long as they are allowed to, the OP should have said "wheres the money for room/bills ASAP", you can be tough and pleasant about it, but if the money didnt turn up or there wasnt a good reason that could be rectified promptly inside a week, then the OP should have turfed this persons stuff on the street.



Exactly, try get a payment plan, might get the money back or some of it, do not go the FB route, you might even be better having no dealings with them at all, its just wasted time. If they are completely unforthcoming, Id have no hesitation about spreading it the old fashioned way myself (verbally), but some might consider that as bad as FB, its not as in peoples face to see though. Certainly if anyone asked me for a recommendation Id warn them.

OP you could even go as far as to say you could provide a reference, just tell her to get someone to call her, which you'd be happy to do so long as you get your money back, even a very brief written one with the suggestion of call my number for further details. I dont think so many will willingly put up with such a persons hassle and you can always tell the truth if you're called, anyone that says they had to provide a reference to get their money and then warns you off will never allow someone in the door, you can even say that part of it was so you could warn people off when she went looking, try confirm the authenticity of the caller by asking for some specific details that can be checked, but so long as you got what was agreed and owed, who cares what the crook thinks, unless you think she's the sort that might send someone to smash your windows. I'd view references with suspicion myself, especially one that cant be called and even when they can, its not like Id rely on it solely, who knows who wrote them or why? ie to get rid of someone?

Going on to FB on one occasion like this with facts is not stalking. It demonstrates that the OP is serious and should prevent this individual from doing same again.

Sometimes you do have to fight your corner or you will be walked all over. I have been burned like this in the past and been too nice. I am all for giving a person a chance but there is a difference between that and being walked all over.

dixiefly

amdublin wrote: »

Holy god that is going way too far and you could be opening yourself up to a whole minefield of trouble.

Why would you do this??????

OP ignore this advice above.

I'd ask her about it. Agree a payment plan. But chances of you ever seeing this money again (4 months later) are so slim. Chalk it down as a loss and if you get it back it's a bonus.

Just reading YOUR advice here, you are basically saying to the OP to chalk it up to experience! It is inaction such as this that these leeches thrive upon in the knowledge that their "victims" are too quiet and weak to deal with it.

My strategy might not succeed in getting the money back either but might be confrontational enough to get this person to give in and pay. This issue will be a source of upset to the OP for a long time if they don't deal with it in some way.

amdublin

Op after 4 months of inaction it's very difficult to go hard now.

This woman is just going to deny it.

It's a lesson don't let people use last month as deposit etc and act on owed money immediately.

cerastes

dixiefly wrote: »

Going on to FB on one occasion like this with facts is not stalking. It demonstrates that the OP is serious and should prevent this individual from doing same again.

Sometimes you do have to fight your corner or you will be walked all over. I have been burned like this in the past and been too nice. I am all for giving a person a chance but there is a difference between that and being walked all over.

Tbh the time for demonstrating they were serious was when the money was due and putting the foot down over it then, doing it now is a just a bit late, Im not saying the OP doesnt deserve their money but they kind of helped put themself in the situation. maybe the FB route will reap some reward, I dont know, at this stage, I doubt it.

amdublin wrote: »

Op after 4 months of inaction it's very difficult to go hard now.

This woman is just going to deny it.

It's a lesson don't let people use last month as deposit etc and act on owed money immediately.

She'll either deny or just continue to ignore it.
The thing is, it will take more hard work on the part of the OP now to try and recover the owed money and they have no bargaining power anymore. Had the Op done this back the day the money was due, even if they made a small allowance for time to rectify and then stick to that, they would be less out of pocket and would have had this resolved ages ago.

dixiefly

The OP has asked the ex housemate several times and was promised that she would pay up so it is not as if the OP has been inactive during this time.

I think that it is worth a go, call her and ask to meet or perhaps go to the ex housemate's place of work and demonstrate that you are serious. I would also start cranking up the regularity of the texts. The time for the nice, softly, softly approach is gone.

skooterblue2

#here is an idea.... ever hear of a guy called the Viper? sell the debt onto him. I have never met him myself but debt collectors buy the debt at a discount and then collect it from the creditor at a profit realising interest cost of collection and other penalites. If you owe this guy ... you WILL pay him. This girl is a train wreck and will leave a trail of destruction after her. It catches up with all of them dont worry. Karma and the Universe always does

Littlekittylou

Rubberchikken wrote: »

You might just need to let this go.
Chances are she won't repay you as she hadn't been very fair with you up to now

Good luck

No take her to the small claims court. He can't let her walk all over him.

Littlekittylou

skooterblue2 wrote: »

#here is an idea.... ever hear of a guy called the Viper? sell the debt onto him. I have never met him myself but debt collectors buy the debt at a discount and then collect it from the creditor at a profit realising interest cost of collection and other penalites. If you owe this guy ... you WILL pay him. This girl is a train wreck and will leave a trail of destruction after her. It catches up with all of them dont worry. Karma and the Universe always does

Isn't that illegal? Wow sure glad I don't owe nobody nothin!

Go through the proper authorities. Don't get yourself dragged through the mud. And it's strange people call me flakey for a few candles but when they want revenge they invent karma.

It is best to be in control of your own life it's best to be in control of your own money. And It is certainly not wise to bring a third party like that in. GO through the proper authorities.

You are entitled to your money back absolutely.

Listen I have been a mug a couple of times and the problem is you just keep chalking it up to experience. I never learn! Seriously. It makes you seem soft to other people and they can sense it in you. That's been my experience. The more I let things go the more they try and take.

skooterblue2

Littlekittylou wrote: »

Isn't that illegal? Wow sure glad I don't owe nobody nothin!

No its not. Viper debt recovery is a fully licensed and operated debt recovery agency. I am not saying I would like to become of interest to them but they are all legal and certified now. Sure werent they employed by Tubridy to collect money from Brian Ormond. It was in the papers.

As for your previous lodger... they are not all bad but 1 in 5 is moocher. They usually hang out together and the best places to get reference are from friends and people you know rather in off the street. I got caught once when I took sole responsibility for the ESB in a house share (more fool me put down a €800 deposit). Then two french girls who moved in and fecked off without paying the last two months. We ALL get caught at the start.

slimjimmc

Littlekittylou wrote: »

No take her to the small claims court. He can't let her walk all over him.

SCC doesn't deal with this type of claim.
http://www.courts.ie/Courts.ie/library3.nsf/pagecurrent/781D7D5227918A618025715C004CAEF3?opendocument

Big Bag of Chips

Moved to Accommodation & Property.

Woshy

A while ago I got a random fb message (in my others folder) from someone I didn't know saying one of my fb friends, Andy (a guy I worked with years ago) had left this guy's apartment with no notice owing him some money in rent and bills. He'd sent this msg to every one of Andy's fb friends, saying he was owed x amount and Andy wouldn't return it or even respond to him, basically to shame him into giving money back. As I didn't actually see Andy in real life I don't know if it worked but there's an option for you!

cerastes

Woshy wrote: »

A while ago I got a random fb message (in my others folder) from someone I didn't know saying one of my fb friends, Andy (a guy I worked with years ago) had left this guy's apartment with no notice owing him some money in rent and bills. He'd sent this msg to every one of Andy's fb friends, saying he was owed x amount and Andy wouldn't return it or even respond to him, basically to shame him into giving money back. As I didn't actually see Andy in real life I don't know if it worked but there's an option for you!

I suppose it might work, I suppose if I had to consider such a route ever, it might be worth shaming them publicly but not asking for the money publicly, although it might be certain after that they will never pay, but at least someone near enough to them might bring it up or at least cast suspicion on them, they could of course claim its fake, so you might need proof to shut that kind of idea down too, no harm in letting everyone know what they are like? or is there? could you be leaving yourself open to being accused of libel?

who the fug

Chalk it up and move on , also get off face book

Kristopherus

who the fug wrote: »

Chalk it up and move on , also get off face book

Would you??????

who the fug

Kristopherus wrote: »

Would you??????

Yes, have done in the past.

dixiefly

who the fug wrote: »

Chalk it up and move on , also get off face book

No way, all avenues have not been exhausted. The OP would be mad to give up at this stage.

cerastes

Let us know how you get on or what you decide to do.
Path of least resistance sometimes is worth it, if I was less stubborn I might have taken my own advice in the past where I needed it.

the_syco

dixiefly wrote: »

If she still doesn't pay, post a screen shot of the evidence to a thread of her partying and to her FB page and also if possible to a work related page. Blitz her before she can unfriend you. At the same time tell her that you will inform her employer.

Regarding the "blitz her before she can unfriend you" part; there's nothing stopping her from going into the police station, and filing a case of harassment against the OP if the OP did this. Added to that, as the OP has no proof that the person owes the OP anything, thus the person could paint the OP as slightly unhinged. The person could also post on the OP's work related FB page that the OP has been harassing them.

Unless the OP has proof, it may be cheaper in the long run to chalk it up to experience, and to ensure they get a deposit next time.

moc moc a moc

cruais wrote: »

i could really do with the money especially for christmas as i am smashed.

Try the guilt trip approach. Explain that you were expecting to buy a nice Christmas present for <insert young relative here> who has been very sick lately, but because she won't do the grown up thing and pay what she owes, you can't afford it this year. Poor little <relative> will be a laughing stock when they go back to school and don't have <popular toy> until next year (when it's out of fashion) and it's all her fault. I hope she's proud of herself.

cerastes

moc moc a moc wrote: »

Try the guilt trip approach. Explain that you were expecting to buy a nice Christmas present for <insert young relative here> who has been very sick lately, but because she won't do the grown up thing and pay what she owes, you can't afford it this year. Poor little <relative> will be a laughing stock when they go back to school and don't have <popular toy> until next year (when it's out of fashion) and it's all her fault. I hope she's proud of herself.

To hell with that guilt trip tack, how about they were hoping to buy a turkey/food for xmas and pay the mortgage/insurance/electric/heating bills

Wabbit Ears

four hundred quid is not worth the hasstle to chase up and getting annoyed about it only affects your own mental health, they don't give a toss.

Mentally write it off, chalk it up to a life lesson and simply forget about it. Mentally dropping dead weight is worth more that that amount of money.

cerastes

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

four hundred quid is not worth the hasstle to chase up and getting annoyed about it only affects your own mental health, they don't give a toss.

Mentally write it off, chalk it up to a life lesson and simply forget about it. Mentally dropping dead weight is worth more that that amount of money.

Id say, try recover it first, then you know you did all you could, THEN write it off mentally (not in a mental fashion or maybe).

Wabbit Ears

If this person was an investment and you were paying yourself the time spent chasing this and obsessing over this debt would it be worth it or should you just cut those losses?

Id say in this case most certainly the latter.

dixiefly

The OP hasnt come back here o comment so ye guys are probably right, it doesn't seem that big of an issue to the OP so not much point in the rest of us getting too concerned.

Probably a thread that could be closed at this stage.