I'm overcoming weight & food difficulties

Heydayworld

Hi,

I’m starting this thread to document my efforts to have a healthy and ‘normal’ relationship with food.

I'm 35, and I struggled with emotional eating and dieting since my teens. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of searching within to overcome emotional eating and negative eating habits. But for the most part I have, and I am no longer overweight. I am aware that eating is my ‘thing’, and food is often still my ‘thing’ when I’m stressed or having a bad day. So I need to keep an eye on it!

I’ve a tendency to fall into the all-or-nothing eating mentality, so balance is important for me. Also, eating when I feel overwhelmed or anxious.

I’m starting this tread as a way of reminding myself where I’ve been and focus on where I'm going. It’s not about diets or food plans, but about addressing emotions and habits around eating. I’m hoping it may help motivate and inspire others who might have a similar story to mine (I know it can be tough going!) I find that Christmas time can be difficult, so much food and family visits can trigger a whole lot of eating.

I'll be updating this post as I stumble through eating challenges, reach my goals and make new ones! I’m active on facebook, twitter and also have a website. You can see those contact details in my boards profile too.

Thanks,
Bernadette.

generic2012

Fair play, Bernadette and congrats on how far you've come.

dharma200

Hiya, can I ask how you overcame your issues.. did you do counselling or is it something which has come with age.. how do you avoid your triggers.. can I also ask how you used to use food .. i.e. : would you binge when sad upset and would you binge on all food or just set foods.. I am very interested and congratulate you on your positive attitude and on having a normal weight and staving to maintain it

Heydayworld

dharma200 - I used food for every reason; when I was sad, disappointed, tired, even happy. Eventually I was eating for every reason and I had no idea why I was eating in the first place! I binged on all the 'bad' foods, but esp foods with a hard texture, such as biscuits, crisps, toast. (Never fruit or veg of course!) I was constantly either restricting my food intake or overeating. I never really stuck to a specific diet type, although I recall that I started weightwatchers point system when I was 15.

Looking back, cutting back or restricting food was always followed by a binge. Today is Sunday, and several years ago I would have been telling myself that I must start all over again tomorrow, Monday. It can be an awful cycle, and so difficult to break out of it. I think the most painful part is the self-loathing. I really hated my body, and I mean really hated my thighs, arms etc. I was so self-critical and never good enough. The first thing I thoughts about in the morning was 'what'll I eat today?!' I was so preoccupied with weight, counting calories etc, weighing myself.

You asked me how I overcame it: A few major life events prompted me to change. I separated from my husband and it was a bad relationship, and looking back, it was really difficult to leave as I had little support. But I did. My daughter was 6 weeks old when I separated. I recall that she had a bad dose of colic and I was so stressed out. Have you ever reached a point when you think, this can't go on any longer? When the separation happened and my little one came along, it was a lightbulb moment, and I decided that enough was enough with all the eating and weight preoccupation.

I made some very conscious decisions- I stopped giving out to myself and being so self-critical. Before I separated I ate partly because I was so stressed and anxious, but being separated and away from my partner lessened the stress and the eating! It's taken a long time, but I pause a lot before I eat and check if I'm hungry. I didn't go to counselling for the weight and eating. I worked on it myself over time and still do. I think about self-care instead of weight loss.

I'm far more aware of my eating habits and triggers. For eg. I know on a Sunday eve that I'm likely to get stressed about the week ahead, so prepare and schedule so I don't feel overwhelmed. If I have a few biscuits too much, I make a decision to stop eating instead of thinking "what's the point, I might as well keep eat". I've really had to change my mindset, but it's working. But I don't believe that I've made it, because I can still be so easily pulled in the direction of the biscuit tin for the most trivial reason. So it's always a work in progress...

dharma200

thanks for sharing that... Ill check out your links aswell, you sound like you have come a long way and it is good to hear... I struggle also with the same hence my interest, d x

Heydayworld

So, an update:

Christmas eating: I find that coming up to Christmas I've a habit of sliding into mindless eating. Someone in work offered me Cadbury chocolate fingers, and before I knew it I had swallowed two of them. I don't think I even tasted them. It's a bit like inhaling food.

I make an effort to pause before I eat, and ask myself if it's hunger or just habit. That usually knocks a bit of sense into me. I started the pause and slowing down before I eat a few years ago, so it's a lot easier now. But I still have to remind myself...

Also, I make a point of having one meal a day that I really enjoy. For me, guilty eating can drive a whole lot of extra eating, so as much as I can, I eat without feeling guilty

Eating triggers: This might sound nuts, but I find that often after a phone conversation with my mother, like yesterday evening, I have an urge to eat the house down! I think talking to her triggers feelings of guilt, for some reason. I'm aware of it, so that in itself helps.

I've started running about 3 times a week, which I just love (well, I enjoy it more after it's done!) I always believed that I couldn't run and had a sort of block in my mind about exercise. Well, I've gotten over that now!

Anyway, so that's an overview of where my food habits are!

Alf Veedersane

Great thread.

Congratulations on how far you've come and I think your posts will help a lot of people who will relate to what you have gone through!

helliwen

Hi Bernadette,

I think I could have written your exact post! Can you read minds?!
It's such a difficult spiral to get out of - well done on how far you've come! If you're interested, I've also set up a facebook page and blog (see my profile) - I have a feeling we have similar ideas :-)

Heydayworld

My (almost!) daily log on managing emotional eating this Christmas...

Yesterday I had a long day, and a bit stressful and disappointing. After dinner I noticed that I was mindlessly picking at my daughter’s leftovers. All I wanted to do was chomp through one of those lovely Lindt caramel chocolate bars. It was sitting in the cupboard above the oven, and the image of that chocolate bar kept wandering into my mind! It’s a bit like stuffing down difficult emotions. Usually I remind myself, “if I eat this (usually chocolate!) it won’t change anything. On top of the initial stress, I’ll be annoyed with myself”. Yesterday however, I was having the chocolate!

I didn’t beat myself up about it afterwards though. I’ve gotten really good at drawing a line under my eating and moving on. A few years ago I would have continued eating and criticising myself, feeling guilty, and then eating move. So yesterday, at least I wasn’t so ‘all-or-nothing’ about it. I do love chocolate, I just don’t enjoy it as much when I’m eating it!

Bernadette.

Heydayworld

helliwen wrote: »

Hi Bernadette,

I think I could have written your exact post! Can you read minds?!
It's such a difficult spiral to get out of - well done on how far you've come! If you're interested, I've also set up a facebook page and blog (see my profile) - I have a feeling we have similar ideas :-)

Hi helliwen,

You're right- it can be such a difficult spiral to get out of. I think it's partly because we have such a narrow view of weight- eat less & exercise more. But if it was that simple then it would not be such a struggle for so many people. Eating and weight are about so much more than diets/food plans. Eating is a powerful way to find temporary relief from many of life’s challenges. If it didn’t work so well, no one would do it!

I really like your blog. I'm your latest follower!

B

Blacktie.

Heydayworld wrote: »

Hi helliwen, You're right- it can be such a difficult spiral to get out of. I think it's partly because we have such a narrow view of weight- eat less & exercise more. But if it was that simple then it would not be such a struggle for so many people.

It is that simple. Simple does not mean easy however and there are a lot of factors that can sabotage it.

Heydayworld

An update on my efforts to stay on track this Christmas, as oppose to eating the house down!...

Advance planning is my best friend, and really helps me stay on track. Extra food, covered in chocolate, seems to creep into the kitchen! I’m aware that it’s usually evening times that I’m prone to picking and grazing, esp when I'm tired. And it’s amazing how easy it is to get through a handful of biscuits in a few minutes, esp when they're dipped in tea.

I’ve planned a few things for the evening, so I don’t end up cramming crisps in your mouth, and I'm finding that’s a huge help. So I head outside for a walk or run, no matter what the weather. It's a bit painful in this weather, but the feeling afterwards is so worth it.

Is it just me or does anyone find when they’re offered food, it can be so hard to resist? I find when I go home (back to my parent house), I‘m really prone to slipping into old eating habits. I open all the presses, just to see what food is there! It’s as if old dynamic or habits just fall into place. My mother is such a feeder, so I have a prepared response for when she offers me apple-tart, "I might have it later, thanks". That takes practice.

Anyway, onwards & upwards!..
Bernadette.