don't know how to handle this one

notquitesure

Hey Ladies and the odd curious gentleman.

I've got a little bit of a dilemma that I'd love some advice with because a PMSing women in her 20's is about to explode with emotion.

Long story short. I started seeing this guy in May that I had matched with/spoke to once on a "popular dating app" haha. Now, I live in a small city so it was only normal that I ended up spotting him in a bar one night and we got talking. We got on great after that, started seeing each other about 5 days a week after work and what not and genuinely got on great.

In August he moved due to work about 2 hours away by train. So when leaving we agreed to still see each other and that I would come visit him. Don't get me wrong, I like visiting him because there's a lot more to do where he lives now than where he used to.

Ever since August I've gone to see him about 2 times a month, usually a Friday evening until Saturday afternoon (he usually has to go into work for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon) , am I crazy to think this isn't enough? I even feel really guilty suggesting a longer stay but I personally need to actually see a person for more than a few hours on a weekend to feel something for them emotionally and I just don't feel a connection between us anymore. I stayed from Friday to Monday morning this weekend, only because I suggested not going home Saturday night after we had a little fight right before i was about to leave (I didn't want to leave angry because I knew I wouldn't come back if I did) so he had already promised a friend he would go out with him that night before he knew I was staying again) I stayed in and watched a movie on my own, he came back at 4am.........

Another thing is, is that he's either really into sex or he just isn't at all and when its a limited time frame of less than 24 hours twice a month, it either happens or it doesn't. He's suggested I get tested before he has oral sex with me, bit insulting..if he doesn't want to do it because of that I'd rather not do it at all. But the big problem now that is really getting under my skin is that he expects me to do it for him..all the time with nothing in it for me. On the last night he started the whole cuddle thing in bed, expected me to go down on him and then we go to sleep with nothing in it again for me. Needless to say that ended badly because of his selfishness, we had a heated discussion and went to sleep angry. We woke up very early the next morning and left for work so there was no time to talk about things and won't be for another two weeks because I'm back home now.

Oh, and can I just add another thing that I need to know if I should be mad over? He's still on that dating app we came across each other on first, it went off about 4 times while I was with him and he was even on it while we were at dinner together, I mentioned it to him but he just laughed and brushed it off.

I've only noticed all of these things this weekend because I spent more than a silly few hours on a Friday night with him. I'm really really thinking of cutting my cords with him now and the fact that I'm PMSing is not helping this situation at all.

Some lady advice for a girl with no sisters would be very very appreciated!
Also sorry about the rant😩 I just don't know how to bring this up with him or what to say, I'm as turned off as I can be right now..

otnomart

You don't sound suited to each other.
Why keep flogging a dead horse?
You can both find someone else you could be better suited to, and happy with.

Lucyfur

MOD

Hi OP,

You have the same thread in Relationship Issues so I'll lock this one.

All the best