Afraid of failing again

JJJessy

After so many failed attempts at weight loss and despite needing and wanting to lose a lot of weight I cant seem to motivate myself and all I keep thinking is I'm going to fail again. I start out really motivated and then once I start doing well I sabotage myself

I've signed up for a fitness and diet course that starts this weekend and hope that once i'm seeing results my mind will catch up. Has anyone else felt like this before?

Alf Veedersane

99% of diets are unsustainable in the long term. That's why they fail.

You just need to find a balance whereby what you're eating is decent food and that allows you to have a little bit of what you fancy from time to time. Otherwise it feels like your diet is a straight jacket.

What is a typical day's good eating?

JJJessy

Thanks for your reply a typical day when I'm being good would be

Breakfast: Porridge made with water or Boiled egg and slice of brown bread

Snack: Pear or Apple or banana

Lunch: Brown Rice, veg and chicken

Snack: 10-12 raw cashew nuts

Dinner: Salad with Chicken or Fish or Chicken and veg stirfry

And usually one cheat meal a week on the weekends

And I'm planning on going to 3 HIIT classes a week, I know if I stick with it, it will come off but sometimes Ill be great till a certain event and then I'm like oh ill have some of this or that and it takes me ages to get back on track

Alf Veedersane

JJJessy wrote: »

Thanks for your reply a typical day when I'm being good would be

Breakfast: Porridge made with water or Boiled egg and slice of brown bread

Snack: Pear or Apple or banana

Lunch: Brown Rice, veg and chicken

Snack: 10-12 raw cashew nuts

Dinner: Salad with Chicken or Fish or Chicken and veg stirfry

And usually one cheat meal a week on the weekends

And I'm planning on going to 3 HIIT classes a week, I know if I stick with it, it will come off but sometimes Ill be great till a certain event and then I'm like oh ill have some of this or that and it takes me ages to get back on track

What does it become on a bad day?

MaceFace

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

99% of diets are unsustainable in the long term. That's why they fail.

You just need to find a balance whereby what you're eating is decent food and that allows you to have a little bit of what you fancy from time to time. Otherwise it feels like your diet is a straight jacket.

What is a typical day's good eating?

If by diet you mean a calorie deficit, then yeah, they are unsustainable, or the person ends up dead

OP: What worked for me in the past was setting myself a target that I felt was a stretch, but not too much of a stretch. In my case, I had a whiteboard and wrote 100 up there. Every day, I reduced it by 1.
For the first week or so it was a battle to keep on track, but after a couple of weeks, I got pretty used to it.
I also wrote on the white board my current weight and my lowest weight during the diet and always tried to beat that lower number. I weighed myself every day.

I recorded everything I ate in a log so even if I got on the scales and saw I didn't lose any weight, I could look at the log and see why or realise that my body was about to drop a bunch of weight (my weight can fluctuate by a few pounds a day, even at the same time).
Sure enough, the scales would catch up with my diet and I after not seeing any weight loss for 5 days, the scales would drop by 2 pounds in a day.

I recommend setting yourself an initial goal. Possibly drop 2 lbs per week for the next 7 weeks. That's a stone by Christmas. That's only 49 days.

IMHO, the most important part of any diet is not the diet itself, but what happens when you end it (go back to eating normally). Do you maintain those losses or do you go back to your bad habits.

Finally, no one can tell you how to do it. You need to be motivated and only you know what motivates you enough for it to be successful. Sometimes I realise that I don't have the motivation to diet, and accept that so don't start a diet as I know it is doomed to failure.
So, find your motivation, and only start when you think you can carry through. Otherwise you risk it failing and making it harder next time as you feel like you will fail.

Alf Veedersane

MaceFace wrote: »

If by diet you mean a calorie deficit, then yeah, they are unsustainable, or the person ends up dead

OP: What worked for me in the past was setting myself a target that I felt was a stretch, but not too much of a stretch. In my case, I had a whiteboard and wrote 100 up there. Every day, I reduced it by 1.
For the first week or so it was a battle to keep on track, but after a couple of weeks, I got pretty used to it.
I also wrote on the white board my current weight and my lowest weight during the diet and always tried to beat that lower number. I weighed myself every day.

I recorded everything I ate in a log so even if I got on the scales and saw I didn't lose any weight, I could look at the log and see why or realise that my body was about to drop a bunch of weight (my weight can fluctuate by a few pounds a day, even at the same time).
Sure enough, the scales would catch up with my diet and I after not seeing any weight loss for 5 days, the scales would drop by 2 pounds in a day.

I recommend setting yourself an initial goal. Possibly drop 2 lbs per week for the next 7 weeks. That's a stone by Christmas. That's only 49 days.

IMHO, the most important part of any diet is not the diet itself, but what happens when you end it (go back to eating normally). Do you maintain those losses or do you go back to your bad habits.

Finally, no one can tell you how to do it. You need to be motivated and only you know what motivates you enough for it to be successful. Sometimes I realise that I don't have the motivation to diet, and accept that so don't start a diet as I know it is doomed to failure.
So, find your motivation, and only start when you think you can carry through. Otherwise you risk it failing and making it harder next time as you feel like you will fail.

Well, that's true. I ususally use diet as a catch-all for what you eat but in this instance, I meant some sort of prescribed diet and they're very short term, in terms of the layout. They're so alien that they are rarely even all that adjustable.

It's just easier to eat decently and scale the calorific intake with goals. That way there's no big sea change at the start or end of a period of being in a deficit.

But having goals is key. Just make sure they're realistic and don't throw out the baby with the bath water if you don't meet them.

desertcircus

Of the people I know who've lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off, almost every one of them is involved in competitive sport. There are two ways to produce a calorie deficit - eat less and burn more - and from what I've seen, it's a lot easier to lose weight by training three or four times a week than by going on a diet. Exercise alone without competition doesn't seem to do it: it may be the effect of competition that pushes people to do that extra session or to push harder while they're training.

If you're not happy with your progress on a diet, and if you're not already competing, then try running, or football, or anything you want that's competitive.

loubian

JJJessy wrote: »

After so many failed attempts at weight loss and despite needing and wanting to lose a lot of weight I cant seem to motivate myself and all I keep thinking is I'm going to fail again. I start out really motivated and then once I start doing well I sabotage myself

I've signed up for a fitness and diet course that starts this weekend and hope that once i'm seeing results my mind will catch up. Has anyone else felt like this before?

I know exactly how you feel. I want instant results. And I see food as a reward so I basically get one step ahead and fall bsck two. I convince myself that I'm going to be ok but in reality I'm extremely overweight. I hate being over weight and really get myself down about it. But I'm trying to be clearer in my head. I'm not dieting, I'm changing a lifestyle and habits. Today walking past the shop without going in was hard, but I did it. N I went on an 8 mike cycle. It's the little things. I'm just trying to take it one thing at a time. At the moment, I'm trying to cut down my snacking and if I want a snack, to eat fruit. I've a 15 month old daughter and I really don't want her to have food issues like me so that's another reason why I want to change.

You're not alone!!

ch750536

The goal should be a new healthier you with a better life, doing things you can't do now. A proper coach would teach you how to visualise this as your goal and then things start to drop into place.

Diet is about food. You need food, it's really good for you. Lifestyle is about making the right choices and a much better way to approach things.

JJJessy

Thanks everyone for your great comments i'm working on changing my lifestyle and looking at this as a long term change not a short term yo yo diet as I have before

Alf Veedersane

JJJessy wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your great comments i'm working on changing my lifestyle and looking at this as a long term change not a short term yo yo diet as I have before

That's the first big step. You don't necessarily have to see big changes straight away. Sometimes slow and steady wins the race.

Plenty of knowledgeable people here to helpo with anything you might want to know.

One thing I've found to be helpful is being mindful around eating. It's often just a brief pause to make sure I actually want to eat something, whether it's something like a treat or whether I've had enough of a meal.

I've attached an article from the Times I found useful.

Also, not having the foods that tend to derail you in the house helps. You get over the cravings when they can't be satisfied. Cravings pass quickly anyway so it's just a way of making sure you don't give in.

But a little of what you enjoy can be helpful. Just know where to draw the line.

Anyway, people here are always willing to help.

Good luck with it

Pablodreamsofnew

JJJessy wrote: »

After so many failed attempts at weight loss and despite needing and wanting to lose a lot of weight I cant seem to motivate myself and all I keep thinking is I'm going to fail again. I start out really motivated and then once I start doing well I sabotage myself

I've signed up for a fitness and diet course that starts this weekend and hope that once i'm seeing results my mind will catch up. Has anyone else felt like this before?

I could of wrote this. I am day 3 of healthy eating. I have decided not to be on a diet but instead healthy eating under 1800cals a day. See how that works and I ditched any WW dishes/snacks or any low fat snacks altogether and instead having smaller portion of full fat. We'll see how it goes!!

Tarzana2

desertcircus wrote: »

Exercise alone without competition doesn't seem to do it

Huh? Non-competitive exercise had helped me tone up and lose loads of weight in the past. It's down to the individual. I much prefer doing my own thing exercise-wise.