Lack of money destroying relationship

CollyFlower

Name and shame him on here (if it's allowed) so others can avoid him. (^_-) :-D

Taltos

Mod Note:
Colly - read our charter asap. This is a close to zero tolerance forum and asking posters to reveal such information is against the spirit of what we do here.

mapaca

You're well rid of him! Onwards and upwards. :-)

Meauldsegosha

What a tosser, you're well rid OP. The sad thing is he will learn nothing from this and will treat his next girlfriend exactly the same.

LegacyUser

You did the right thing getting rid of this guy. I don't think he lacks the cop on to know that you did not have as much income as him but was quite happy to have you in his life once you paid your way.
As one of other posts said here this lad is looking for a good laying hen.
Some people are just mean with money or mean of spirit ( quite happy to keep taking things/ expect people to do what they want). I know people who are mean with money and/or mean of spirit and being honest they don't have many friends and relationships never last to long.
At least you realised what this man was like early on and got rid of him.

Esel

CaraMay wrote: »

You should send him a link to this thread so he sees how mad it all is.

Not a good idea.

It might sound like fun, but why kick a wasps nest?

Merkin

Faith wrote: »

He shares a room with his brother?! As an adult?! Holy Jesus, that would be enough to make me run for the hills.

Lol I know. Epic EPIC fail on his part . But then considering what a tight git he is then it's hardly surprising. He probably has his Holy Communion money sewn into the mattress too...

Memnoch

I'm going to buck the trend a little and say that perhaps your approach wasn't the most sensitive either.

Rather than say to him - something like - 'the restaurant near your house sounds lovely, but honestly my finances aren't that great and I can't really afford the trip.'

Instead you sent him a very defensive and passive aggressive 'are you stingy' text, which no one will respond well to. I suspect you took this approach because it was the least damaging to your pride rather than having an open and honest discussion about your financial situation with him and seeing if it could be worked out. Think about it from his perspective. Being called stingy out of the blue without a proper discussion of the situation.

Regardless, it's water under the bridge. However, I would suggest that in the future if you feel that there is financial pressure on you in the relationship, and the guy isn't getting the hints or clueing in to your situation, try to not let your resentment build up so much and have an open and honest discussion earlier if if is needed.

I think only then will you get an open and honest measure of the person you are dating. This is of course easier to say than to do.

Not to say this guy isn't stingy, but it's easy to jump on the bandwagon and bash him. Best of luck in the future.

maria34

OP why u think he had "well paid " job? As he was a liar then he could have made up lies about that. If he didnt then sorry but he must be some serious narcissist or something. Keep away from that kid of lads in the future.

rainbowtrout

Memnoch wrote: »

I'm going to buck the trend a little and say that perhaps your approach wasn't the most sensitive either.

Rather than say to him - something like - 'the restaurant near your house sounds lovely, but honestly my finances aren't that great and I can't really afford the trip.'

Instead you sent him a very defensive and passive aggressive 'are you stingy' text, which no one will respond well to.

He'd already pulled a stunt the previous night asking her back to his place and when she was polite and said she couldn't afford it, he offered to pay, and then didn't and pretended he didn't remember offering. It was time for being blunt.

Silver lining OP?? Well at least you will see the warning signs straight away if you have the misfortune of running into a guy like him in the future.

Memnoch

rainbowtrout wrote: »

He'd already pulled a stunt the previous night asking her back to his place and when she was polite and said she couldn't afford it, he offered to pay, and then didn't and pretended he didn't remember offering. It was time for being blunt.

Silver lining OP?? Well at least you will see the warning signs straight away if you have the misfortune of running into a guy like him in the future.

He could have genuinely forgot. I don't see the benefit of calling someone stingy instead of having a mature and adult discussion.

keane2097

Memnoch wrote: »

He could have genuinely forgot. I don't see the benefit of calling someone stingy instead of having a mature and adult discussion.

There's literally no chance he genuinely forgot considering this was an issue the OP had flagged a few times before.

Even if he had his response to having it brought up was "oh I don't remember that. How are you?". A normal human would have said "oh I don't remember that - sorry, I'll sort you out next time I see you".

This one is open and shut tbh.

Neyite

Mod Note:

Open and shut indeed. OP has resolved her issue by dissolving her relationship, so to avoid dragging things further off topic, I'll close this down.