When Will Women Be Finally Sexually Liberated?

Dayum

I think it's great work what Miley Cyrus, Britany Spears and Christina Aguilera have done over the years. No, not their crap music. I'm speaking about how they express themselves sexually and I feel a lot of women can benefit from more of it.

I can't understand why women feel the need to put up the "anti-slut" shield when a man approaches them as to not look like a total b!tch to their mates. Somehow we have to erase this attitude from society altogether. When will women brag about the men they've shagged just as men do? When will women walk up to a guy in a nightclub, or on the street, or wherever and not be afraid of the judgement they'll receive?

In fact, attitudes regarding women in society have actually gone backwards. Back in the 1300's women were extremely promiscuous more so than men. It seems things have gone right the other way in our modern world. It's a sad state.

TheBeardedLady

You put the "anti-slut" shield in exclamation marks - is that an actual thing? Never heard of it or even the concept. Must be more happenings from that parallel universe I'm always hearing about.

eviltwin

Bragging about your sexual conquests doesn't make you liberated, it just makes you a bit of a prat.

WesternNight

Dayum wrote: »

In fact, attitudes regarding women in society have actually gone backwards. Back in the 1300's women were extremely promiscuous more so than men. It seems things have gone right the other way in our modern world. It's a sad state.

Jeepers ladies, we can't win, can we? Too promiscuous, not promiscuous enough, sluts, prudes.

Maybe society could take a vote and decide how it wants women to behave once and for all, lest we do it wrong.

:pac:

pwurple

Why does sexually liberated = promiscuous? Thought they were two entirely different things.

YumCha

Dayum wrote: »

I can't understand why women feel the need to put up the "anti-slut" shield when a man approaches them as to not look like a total b!tch to their mates.

I can't understand why anyone who want to make reductionist assumptions about why women turn men down... because apparently we can't possibly be any of the following: not heterosexual, wanting to spend time with friends, in a relationship, over one night stands because we have nuanced needs and drunken fumbling sex is mostly ****e, into one night stands but just not feeling it, or - you know - plain old not interested.

Of course it's all about what our friends think of us because women are all bitchy and competitive and judgmental. Right?

Shakespeare's Sister

I couldn't give a hoot whether people think I'm promiscuous for having one-night stands/flings, but I don't very often - the reason for this is simply not often being interested in anyone to have casual sex with him. Worrying about what people think does not come into it.
When I do however, I don't bother with blabbing it to people, because I'm a grown woman, not a teenager/student and I don't think my sex life is of interest to others (and it isn't). It's also my personal, private business.

I don't know any woman who feels ashamed about having a casual sex life. This is something from times past methinks.

eviltwin

Most women I know would be what I would consider sexually liberated. They know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it. The days of a woman putting up with bad sex is hopefully gone, certainly that is the case for anyone I know.

I've never known a woman to be judged for making the first move or having a one night stand. They wouldn't be having one night stands on a regular basis because its just not their thing, not everyone is into that but its not a sign that they have some kind of guilt complex going on.

I don't feel the need to have lots of sex and brag about it, I don't feel the need to walk around in a bra and panties shoving my hand into my crotch or humping guys to show I'm not repressed. That kind of aggressive sexuality is just desperate. OP don't be fooled into thinking that the women who are more discreet are prudish or have some kind of hang up. Maybe they just feel some aspects of their life should be kept private?

catallus

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't feel the need to have lots of sex and brag about it, I don't feel the need to walk around in a bra and panties shoving my hand into my crotch or humping guys to show I'm not repressed.

This makes me sad

kylith

eviltwin wrote: »

I don't feel the need to have lots of sex and brag about it, I don't feel the need to walk around in a bra and panties shoving my hand into my crotch or humping guys to show I'm not repressed.

I can't say that I'd consider that kind of behaviour sexually liberated at all, to me it smacks of someone who has been told that that's what you do to show that you're sexually liberated, which is the exact opposite of liberation really.

What the women the OP denigrates for putting up 'slut shields' are doing is liberation - they are choosing when, and with whom, they want to engage in sexual activity.

I've had a fair few sexual partners, but I don't brag about it because it's crass to do so. My sex life is my own business, I don't need to talk about it to feel good about myself.

eviltwin

kylith wrote: »

I can't say that I'd consider that kind of behaviour sexually liberated at all, to me it smacks of someone who has been told that that's what you do to show that you're sexually liberated, which is the exact opposite of liberation really.

What the women the OP denigrates for putting up 'slut shields' are doing is liberation - they are choosing when, and with whom, they want to engage in sexual activity.

I've had a fair few sexual partners, but I don't brag about it because it's crass to do so. My sex life is my own business, I don't need to talk about it to feel good about myself.

Neither do I, I just mentioned it in response to the OP referencing the likes of Miley Cyrus et al who are held up as examples of sexually confident women and for what? Walking around in their undies and dancing in a suggestive way?

kylith

eviltwin wrote: »

Neither do I, I just mentioned it in response to the OP referencing the likes of Miley Cyrus et al who are held up as examples of sexually confident women and for what? Walking around in their undies and dancing in a suggestive way?

Sorry, I meant to add that I was agreeing with you.

Penny Tration

I don't see why you need to be promiscuous or indulge in casual sex to be considered sexually liberated.

I've never had a one night stand, and I consider myself sexually liberated. I have sex with who I want, when I want, and I'm happy to tell the guy what I want.

It just so happens that sex outside of a relationship isn't something I want

Carlos Orange

Maybe I don't spend enough time about men to have noticed but I have never heard men brag about the women they have shagged.

WarpAsylum

Dayum wrote: »

When will women brag about the men they've shagged just as men do?

The few men I've come across who do this have been immensely insecure. Hardly aspirational...

astonaidan

eviltwin wrote: »

Bragging about your sexual conquests doesn't make you liberated, it just makes you a bit of a prat.

As a guy, I 100% agree, normal people avoid guys who talk about it, the common phrase in our town is "Good Lad Yeah" when someone tries to do it

shalalala

green_screen wrote: »

I don't see why you need to be promiscuous or indulge in casual sex to be considered sexually liberated.

I've never had a one night stand, and I consider myself sexually liberated. I have sex with who I want, when I want, and I'm happy to tell the guy what I want.

It just so happens that sex outside of a relationship isn't something I want

This. A hundred times this. Sometimes I get shamed and judged and called "old-fashioned" just because I don't sleep around. I joke and talk about sex, am quite open about my sexuality and am not afraid of getting what I want how I want but some people still stick with the stupid notion that it is some sort of catholic guilt?! Nope, I just have to really like the guy to have him on top of me. That simple.

Not being sexually repressed doesn't necessarily mean sleeping around. It means having the choice to do what you want. And I think we have this now.

I think the OP is mistaking womens reluctance to sleep with him with sexual repression, as though thats the only explanation holding them back from ravaging him publicly. Most likely it's not them at all OP, it's you.

As for Miley Cyrus? She reminds me of a child swearing in front of it's parents to see their shocked reactions. Attention seeking isn't liberation.

Morag

When we have control over our bodies and pregnancy is not seen as a punishment for being sexually active.
Liberation means being able to make our own choices with out pressure or judgement, that also means not having sex unless we want to

Being celibate outside of a relationship is a choice many make, and it's just as viable and liberated as the choice not to be. That's what liberation is, making your own choices. If anything young girls feel more pressure to demonstrate their sexuality rather than pressure to remain celibate as in decades before.

Behaving in any particular way because of outside pressure - from society and in particular the Church in times past, or by a peer group or wider societal expectation today, is the antithesis of liberation.

The OP has a very narrow definition of sexual liberation.

diveout

eviltwin wrote: »

Bragging about your sexual conquests doesn't make you liberated, it just makes you a bit of a prat.

Sex is like money, people who have it don't talk about it.

Shakespeare's Sister

Good points actually that the expectation today is of being sexualised, and the "shaming" is of people who aren't. So I don't know what the OP is on about.

And yeh, Miley Cyrus - great example of sexual liberation.
All she's doing is the whole "Look at me, I'm not an innocent little girl anymore!" thing, which countless child stars have done, and usually wound up in patheticsville.

Pwindedd

When? When phrases like desperate, attention seeking, pathetic and insecure stopped being used by women about other women.

Hold the Cheez Whiz

Dayum wrote: »

I think it's great work what Miley Cyrus, Britany Spears and Christina Aguilera have done over the years. No, not their crap music. I'm speaking about how they express themselves sexually and I feel a lot of women can benefit from more of it.

They aren't doing anything that Madonna wasn't doing 20 years ago. And how, again, is their behavior supposed to benefit women?

Da Shins Kelly

Pushing women to be promiscuous or to brag about their sex lives is as bad as telling women they can't have sex outside of marriage. You're still policing their sexuality and telling them what they should or shouldn't be doing with their own bodies. Promiscuity or one night stands aren't for everyone, and that goes for men and women, and no one should be made to feel embarrassed because they don't engage in it. It's like the pendulum has swung the other way in recent times - suddenly we are in in this post-Sex and the City world where you're a weirdo if you don't sleep with strangers and speak freely about all aspects of your sex life. Some people like the intimacy of sex in a relationship, some people are private and don't want to discuss such things with just anyone. Doesn't make them any less liberated.

meeeeh

Dayum wrote: »

I think it's great work what Miley Cyrus, Britany Spears and Christina Aguilera have done over the years. No, not their crap music. I'm speaking about how they express themselves sexually and I feel a lot of women can benefit from more of it.

I can't understand why women feel the need to put up the "anti-slut" shield when a man approaches them as to not look like a total b!tch to their mates. Somehow we have to erase this attitude from society altogether. When will women brag about the men they've shagged just as men do? When will women walk up to a guy in a nightclub, or on the street, or wherever and not be afraid of the judgement they'll receive?

In fact, attitudes regarding women in society have actually gone backwards. Back in the 1300's women were extremely promiscuous more so than men. It seems things have gone right the other way in our modern world. It's a sad state.

this whole post can be put into one question: When will women be more like men? Or at least more like op's idea of men? And the answer is why should they. Or is it acting like an idiot (and bragging about your conquests is acting like an idiot) some ideal society should strive to?

Btw maybe women would be more promiscuous if the quality of the goods on offer was better. And yes I am taking the piss.

stateofflux

people like Brigitte Bardot were sexually Liberated. Miley Cyrus is a desperate unsexy insecure girl

J Mysterio

Miley Cyrus should be shot.

WesternNight

stateofflux wrote: »

people like Brigitte Bardot were sexually Liberated. Miley Cyrus is a desperate unsexy insecure girl

J Mysterio wrote: »

Miley Cyrus should be shot.

These kinds of comments are a big part of the problem. When women are judged in this way, for failing to live up to people's own personal definition of 'sexy' or 'beautiful', and dismissed as a result.

J Mysterio

WesternNight wrote: »

These kinds of comments are a big part of the problem. When women are judged in this way, for failing to live up to people's own personal definition of 'sexy' or 'beautiful', and dismissed as a result.

Blah, blah, blah.

Im not 'judging Miley to some standard of what I think she should be as a woman'. Im judging her because she's a fùckin muppet.

Comments like yours are actually the problem because it gives little fools like Miley carte blanche to do what she wants and drag all the little hannah montana fans down with her.

Penny Tration

J Mysterio wrote: »

Blah, blah, blah.

Im not 'judging Miley to some standard of what I think she should be as a woman'. Im judging her because she's a fùckin muppet.

Comments like yours are actually the problem because it gives little fools like Miley carte blanche to do what she wants and drag all the little hannah montana fans down with her.

Why shouldn't she do what she wants?

J Mysterio

Oh god, I foolishly fell in your trap, you must be so pleased.

Ok, she can do what she wants, which she does, and I can call her a fucķing clown, which I do.

Penny Tration

J Mysterio wrote: »

Oh god, I foolishly fell in your trap, you must be so pleased.

Ok, she can do what she wants, which she does, and I can call her a fucķing clown, which I do.

What trap? I wasn't the poster who originally responded to you.

Amirani

J Mysterio wrote: »

Oh god, I foolishly fell in your trap, you must be so pleased.

Ok, she can do what she wants, which she does, and I can call her a fucķing clown, which I do.

Please refrain from trying to circumvent the swear filter. I'd also suggest you try to be more civil in your posting, particularly when interacting with other posters.

meeeeh

WesternNight wrote: »

These kinds of comments are a big part of the problem. When women are judged in this way, for failing to live up to people's own personal definition of 'sexy' or 'beautiful', and dismissed as a result.

Miley Cirus is carefully crafted product, targeted at certain consumers. Her problem is not that she is not pretty or sexy, she is manufactured to sell more of whatever she is doing now. While I am not particularly a Bardot fan (some of her stuff was a bit silly) there was more than just market research behind her public persona and work. And that is why Cirus is dismissed.