inlaws call to often

mphalo1

Since the birth of my kids my in-laws visit everyday and I wouldn't have it any other way . Im so lucky anyone else love this too. Its great to have people that care

Buona Fortuna

In this as so many things masturbation is the answer.

When they've been there long enough just flip the old chap out.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Put the phone/tablet down and engage with the guests in your home.

The Backwards Man

I have a big life size portrait of the MIL above the mantlepiece.







Most effective fireguard you'll ever get.

Birneybau

You need too be to distracted to engage. Too achieve this turn the volume of the TV up to loud. You need too do this.

biko

Me toooo

mphalo1

Buona Fortuna wrote:

In this as so many things masturbation is the answer.

Buona Fortuna wrote:

When they've been there long enough just flip the old chap out.

problem solved , thread closed .

Tail Docker

Stop relying on hints. People often don't get the hint. Spell it out nice and clear - a big sign on the front door - "Feck off, we're out" - might do it.

solomafioso

"inlaws call to often" what?

But seriously though...inlaws eh? Who'd have 'em? <canned laughter>

NZ_2014

Divorce, move to Australia, change your identity, and get a dog.

Turtyturd

Send the kids and OH round to their house.

LostBoy101

Just either go out more often or just don't answer the door, simple.

stimpson

Make a pass at your mother in law. Or father in law. Whoever would be most uncomfortable.

Fr_Dougal

There's only one thing for it, you'll have to burn your house down. Then live with them for a few months, by the time your visit is over they'll never want to see you again. Be sure to eat all their food.

Santa Cruz

Ask them if they had the same difficulties when first they had anal sex as you are now having with their daughter.
p.s. It may be useful here to show on video the more troublesome aspects

Mint Aero

Do any of ye work? What are ye doing in yer house all day? Spongers having babies for their holidays.

The Purveyor of Truth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw-F2bCC9hE

mphalo1

1,today is Sunday not many working today, 2, I was out today they sat waiting for us to get home a good half an hour 3, they call every single day after work its been going on 3 years so forgive me for being on the internet in their company just this once

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

It's great to have family you can rely on.

Topper Harley

How old are the kids and how long has this been going on?

Zaire Muscular Yacht wrote: »

Put the phone/tablet down and engage with the guests in your home.

You seem eager, why don't you invite them over and take them off the OPs hands for a while.

lazeedaisy

I live in my in laws back garden, don't think they know we are there, is been a year, not sure mother in law knows where we live

westcoast66

mphalo1 wrote: »

Please tell me I'm not the only one living this nightmare, since the birth of my kids the in-laws call every single day and won't take the hint to go. They stay to long interrupt what we were doing as a family before they arrive and just get under my skin with comments and opinions of how we do things. The other half has no problem with them as their her side, I had conversations with her about this to no avail , ah I could go on and on in fact their beside me as I type this right now anyone else have this annoyance in their day to day life are you out there or is it just me

Do you live near them? If so, the solution is simple. Move house.
I see my inlaws at most once a year. It's great. I have neighbours who live in houses built beside the inlaws. Bloody nightmare.

fartman

I feel your pain you are not on your own, i have a cnut of a mother-inlaw.. i do wish she would kick the bucket nasty bitch she is

ardinn

Quick fix would be to call over to theirs - Stay 10mins and leave - then they have no excuse to come to yours!

Is there a new baby in the house and is your wife relying on them for support? Maybe they're there because their daughter is encouraging them to be there.

Otherwise, stand up and say 'Thanks for coming round, but I think we need some time on our own as a family now'. See what happens, it'll tell you who's engineering the situation.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Topper Harley wrote: »

How old are the kids and how long has this been going on?



You seem eager, why don't you invite them over and take them off the OPs hands for a while.

I think its their grandkids they want to see not my grandkids and even then my grandkids are not here every day. Plus we're often in my daughter's house visiting there and the OPs in laws hardly want to visit with them.

Pumpkinseeds

:eek: Every day for 3 years? I think your wife needs to sever the umbilical cord between her and her mother. Christ, that's unnatural carry on:eek: You poor sod!

mphalo1

Zaire Muscular Yacht wrote:

I think its their grandkids they want to see not my grandkids and even then my grandkids are not here every day. Plus we're often in my daughter's house visiting there and the OPs in laws hardly want to visit with them.

you wouldn't be my in-law by any chance are you ?

Sam Kade

solomafioso wrote: »

"inlaws call to often" what?

But seriously though...inlaws eh? Who'd have 'em? <canned laughter>

He meant to say "inlaws call too often" unless he calls to his inlaws often

December2012

The problem isn't your in laws. The problem is your wife has no barriers and won't be alone with just you.

What's up with that?

mphalo1

no way its ever going to change (ever , no matter what is there anyone else out there the same ?

johnayo

Drop the hand on the mother in law. Job done.:mad:

mphalo1

lol

Pumpkinseeds

Serious question, is your wife coping with the kids ok? Clearly I've no idea who you or your wife are or what your life is like. It just seems odd, well very odd to me, that she's ok with her parents calling every day, and that they want to call every day. Most women, myself included could do without daily visits from our mothers. I could understand it for the first year with your first child. But I'm really shocked at the idea of the in laws calling every single day.

I mean at some point somebody has to put a stop to it. Have her parents not even raised the issue of how much time they spend at your home, even jokingly? It sounds like you find it really intrusive, and rightly so. You didn't marry her parents. I really think you need to talk to her about this issue if it bothers you so much.

Oink

A friend had the same problem. Mother in law had the key, and would come in any time. He talked to his wife*, and now the issue is sorted**.

More seriously, a family NEEDS a chance to be together to stay together. Or else you'll be flatmates.



* i.e. he stayed at his parents' place for a while
** i.e. it's still there but much reduced

TheBeardedLady

solomafioso wrote: »

"inlaws call to often" what?

But seriously though...inlaws eh? Who'd have 'em? <canned laughter>

Toilets are like mothers-in-law - the farther away the better! :-D <canned laughter>

El Weirdo

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I have a big life size portrait of the MIL above the mantlepiece.







Most effective fireguard you'll ever get.

Les?

Seriously though OP, don't knock it. You'll be thanking them when you need them to babysit.

The Strawman Argument

I don't really get why this stuff can't be discussed openly. You've let it slide for three years though, so you're the one who's going to look mental. Surely you knew you were getting into some freaky close family before getting married? Was it something you didn't expect to bother you as much or what?

Pretty bad form of your wife to not realise how it could be an issue, unless there's other stuff going on as Pumpkinseed said up above.

mphalo1

El Weirdo wrote:

Seriously though OP, don't knock it. You'll be thanking them when you need them to babysit.

ah suppose your right I'm being to hard , let them call for a chat once a day and maybe babysit for me on special occasions when we go out , sure feck it what harm are they doing.

guest2014

0.50____0.52


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hhWqkq2bc0

ardinn

As soon as they arrive say "great I have to heaqd out for a bit" Thn feck off for 18 holes - This could be very useful if you work it right!

kryogen

I caused a family row to get rid of mine, I now no longer speak to her sister, who doesnt speak to my missus or her mam, barely with her brother, who I have a difficult relationship with, her mother has taken the hint that my kids are my family not hers (when I say hint, I mean spelt out as clearly as humanly possible) and the dad is pretty quiet anyway so he likes to keep his distance.

We have come a long way from when my first was born and the mammy in law moved in with us to "help"! Did anybody ask for the help? Not a ****ing chance, her heart is in the right place dont get me wrong, but her domineering personality is directly at odds with mine so it was never going to go well.

Anyway, on to your problem, tell the in laws you appreciate them calling round, and its great that they want to be so involved, but that you (your family) need to have some time on ye're own to figure out how to be a family

paulgalway

You need to put your foot down. It is your house, your family. Tell them it is about time you as a family stand on your own two feet.

As an alternative, plan a week-end away and give them the kids for the whole week-end. That should sort them out.

The problem with in-laws is they can hand the kids back and leave.

You AND the wife need to agree a course of action and stick to it.

I would suggest that you explain to the in-laws that you are trying to put in place a routine for the kids during the week and you don't want the in-laws being taken advantage off; that you will bring the kids to them at the week-end.

However, this should have been sorted 3 yrs ago.

lulu1

I would not like the job of telling my in laws not to call, but you should tell your partner to get them to call round when your at work. Dont know your situation but maybe your in laws think your wife is not coping with the kids. But i would think on before I would say too much because who is the first ones you will go to for a baby sitter??

Pumpkinseeds

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Christ, that's unnatural carry on:eek: You poor sod!

From my experience it would be fairly common in country areas where people often build their houses next to their parents house for both to be in and out of each others houses on an almost daily basis. It sounds more extreme in the op case as he appears to be very against it whereas for a lot of familys its something they don't mind or may actually like happening.

I never get the almost standard dislike that some appear to have for inlaws on here, people tend to get on very well with them and actually like seeing them regularly in the real world from what I have seen.

Santa Cruz

Lillianna Disgusting Millipede wrote: »

From my experience it would be fairly common in country areas where people often build their houses next to their parents house for both to be in and out of each others houses on an an almost daily basis. It sounds more extreme in the op case as he appears to be very against it whereas for a lot of familys its something they don't mind or may actually like happening.

I never get the almost standard dislike that some appear to have for inlaws on here, people tend to get on very well with them and actually like seeing them regularly in the real world from what I have seen.

It's also very common in certain Dublin areas where it's important to have a house near "me Ma and me sister"

Rosy Posy

I have a friend who's mam is like this. It drove her oh bonkers. She once called round when they weren't there, climbed in the laundry window and cleaned the whole gaff- even their bedrooms. My friend couldn't see the harm- didn't see why he was going mad over the massive invasion of privacy. Now he no longer lives with them. Bottom line they're her family- she needs to say something. Even if she's happy with the arrangement it's your home too and you need to be able to reach a compromise. She's in a relationship with you, not her parents.

Pumpkinseeds

Lillianna Disgusting Millipede wrote: »

From my experience it would be fairly common in country areas where people often build their houses next to their parents house for both to be in and out of each others houses on an almost daily basis. It sounds more extreme in the op case as he appears to be very against it whereas for a lot of familys its something they don't mind or may actually like happening.

I never get the almost standard dislike that some appear to have for inlaws on here, people tend to get on very well with them and actually like seeing them regularly in the real world from what I have seen.

I think you are in a minority, and I'm not being bitchy. Most women prefer to live their lives without daily contact with their parents. The norm is for people to grow up, leave home and get on with their lives. A couple should be raising their children together without daily intrusion from either set of parents. Clearly it's a major issue for the OP and I think that most men would be seriously pissed off with the situation, in fact most men wouldn't tolerate it at all.

I honestly find the whole thing weird tbh. As far as criticism of in-laws goes, people don't always get on with the in-laws, then again they didn't marry their in-laws. Things need to change radically with the OP's in-law situation. I'm really surprised that the in-laws themselves haven't backed off with the visits. It's not normal or healthy.

The Dagda

kryogen wrote: »

I caused a family row to get rid of mine, I now no longer speak to her sister, who doesnt speak to my missus or her mam, barely with her brother, who I have a difficult relationship with, her mother has taken the hint that my kids are my family not hers (when I say hint, I mean spelt out as clearly as humanly possible) and the dad is pretty quiet anyway so he likes to keep his distance.

We have come a long way from when my first was born and the mammy in law moved in with us to "help"! Did anybody ask for the help? Not a ****ing chance, her heart is in the right place dont get me wrong, but her domineering personality is directly at odds with mine so it was never going to go well.

Anyway, on to your problem, tell the in laws you appreciate them calling round, and its great that they want to be so involved, but that you (your family) need to have some time on ye're own to figure out how to be a family

Causing the family to fall out with each other doesn't seem the best way of handling it.

Grayditch

Zaire Muscular Yacht wrote: »

Put the phone/tablet down and engage with the guests in your home.

Zaire Muscular Yacht wrote: »

It's great to have family you can rely on.

Spot the hurt inlaw...

Slicemeister

The Dagda wrote:

Causing the family to fall out with each other doesn't seem the best way of handling it.

From his post it looks like kryogen would've at least tried to reason it out amicably. If that's the outcome it's unfortunate but needs must. Even tougher for the OH. In laws can really ruin a family or relationship, it's a fine art on both sides and needs to be recognised and controlled imo.