children is it all worth it

Heatmachine1

Were at the expecting stage and all I hear are bloody negatives regarding children.
How hard a job it is,energy zapping and constant work.
Anyone got some positives;at this stage I am thinking one will be enough by the sounds if it.
Please share your positive or negative opinions or do you not plan on having children.

dr.bollocko

Positives: potential for organ donation prolonging your own life.

Negatives: everything else.

Faith+1

And you posted this in After Hours.......?

AlanS181824

Apparently they can get ye a free house and €200 a week nowadays!

preston johnny

Best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a Dad

anncoates

I have 2 young kids.

Your poor, poor bastard.

ZeroImpurities

They will change your life. Whether that change is for the better, is very much open to debate in my view.

Oink

I'm sure if you read the parenting forum you'll find pages of comments from happy parents. I'm half-dead from being up all night, but right now I have a cute litle monkey thing sleeping on my shoulder, making little monkey noises, and I wouldnt change a thing.

You get so many thousands of litres of water allowance per child til they are 18. Have lots of kids.

ZeroImpurities

Deleted User wrote: »

You get so many thousands of litres of water allowance per child til they are 18. Have lots of kids.

Don't forget Childer's Tuesday!

Lisha

ZeroImpurities wrote: »

Don't forget Childer's Tuesday!

Don't you mean 'Mammy's Tuesday' ?

Gosub

I have 4. All adult at this stage, the youngest is 22 and the oldest 35. It was hard going raising them during the 80´s recession.

I wouldn´t change a thing, I´m so proud of the people they have become. The world is a better place for each and every one of them.

ZeroImpurities

Lisha wrote: »

Don't you mean 'Mammy's Tuesday' ?

It's for the childer

How Soon Is Now

Right ill give u an honest answer.

Its ****ing hard and more then likely it will change ur life and ur partners life in ways that will be hard. You will be told this but you dont fully understand it till it happens!

The child will take up your whole day my son is nearly ten months old now and i love him more then anything but id love to be able have my own life back for a while every now and again and i do miss the relationship i had with my girlfriend before as well because its not as easy to make time these days.

But and heres the big BUT dont have kids if your not willing to work on these things because if u do its worth it. Its ****ing hard and most weeks it wont go to plan because things dont go to plan mostly with kids but its worth it just to see them grow up in front of u.

As much as he drives us mental at night when he wakes up at 1 or 2 am and wont go back to bed u feel bad nearly straight away when he just does something complety innocent after it.

Id change a lot of things about my life but i wouldnt change having him its only when hes not around i noticed how much i love him and miss him they take over your life but they give so much to it as well.

I could go into detail but you wont believe or understand most of it till its ur own experiences.

I dont really like kids and normally avoid them but when its your own its a million times different because there part of u and always will be.

The Purveyor of Truth

Well, for one thing, if you have a daughter, there'll be loads of 17 year old girls in school uniforms around the house in seventeen years time, which coincidentally, is generally around the time most fathers begin to lose the will to live, thereby, they will in effect, be responsible for saving your life with their mere presence and sure what man doesn't want their life saved by sexy teens.

sinjin_smythe

Oink wrote: »

I'm sure if you read the parenting forum you'll find pages of comments from happy parents. I'm half-dead from being up all night, but right now I have a cute litle monkey thing sleeping on my shoulder, making little monkey noises, and I wouldnt change a thing.

You sure its not an actual monkey?

Sam Kade

Heatmachine1 wrote: »

Were at the expecting stage and all I hear are bloody negatives regarding children.
How hard a job it is,energy zapping and constant work.
Anyone got some positives;at this stage I am thinking one will be enough by the sounds if it.
Please share your positive or negative opinions or do you not plan on having children.

It's a bit late to be asking now

ceadaoin.

Get lots of sleep now while you can. It's been almost 3 years now since I had a full nights sleep!

Yes, the early years are tiring but it's outweighed by the positives IMO. Seeing the joy a child gets from everyday things, it's hard not to get swept up in that. Taking them to the zoo or the beach for the first time is fun. And Christmas is exciting again.

jca

preston johnny wrote: »

Best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a Dad

Now all you have to do is live with the mammy!!!

Mint Aero

Everyone who doesn't have kids know their sh*t wastes of money sh*ts. When people have kids they contract a disease in their brain identifiable by this line "the best day of me life is when i had me kids"

uck51js9zml2yt

I've 2 and have been sleep deprived for the last 4 years and probably have another 2 years of no sleep to go.
But the smile I get when I pass by them and the hug for the eldest makes it worthwhile.
Not to mention the endless "whats that?" and hours looking at spiders and snails. And watching cartoons in the afternoon together and laughing when Tom gets hit by Jerry.
I can't forget never having a tidy house. Floor is covered in toys as I write.
Is it worth it? Definitely

ZeroImpurities

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Right ill give u an honest answer.

Its ****ing hard and more then likely it will change ur life and ur partners life in ways that will be hard. You will be told this but you dont fully understand it till it happens!

The child will take up your whole day my son is nearly ten months old now and i love him more then anything but id love to be able have my own life back for a while every now and again and i do miss the relationship i had with my girlfriend before as well because its not as easy to make time these days.

But and heres the big BUT dont have kids if your not willing to work on these things because if u do its worth it. Its ****ing hard and most weeks it wont go to plan because things dont go to plan mostly with kids but its worth it just to see them grow up in front of u.

As much as he drives us mental at night when he wakes up at 1 or 2 am and wont go back to bed u feel bad nearly straight away when he just does something complety innocent after it.

Id change a lot of things about my life but i wouldnt change having him its only when hes not around i noticed how much i love him and miss him they take over your life but they give so much to it as well.

I could go into detail but you wont believe or understand most of it till its ur own experiences.

I dont really like kids and normally avoid them but when its your own its a million times different because there part of u and always will be.

Excellent honest post. I'll give my own experience in a separate post.

michellie

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

Well, for one thing, if you have a daughter, there'll be loads of 17 year old girls in school uniforms around the house in seventeen years time, which coincidentally, is generally around the time most fathers begin to lose the will to live, thereby, they will in effect, be responsible for saving your life with their mere presence and sure what man doesn't want their life saved by sexy teens.

Yea, that's pretty creepy.

The Purveyor of Truth

Damn, I was going for rapey.

Rucking_Fetard

World snip snip Day is coming up. Wonder will their be any bargains.

ZeroImpurities

When my little article arrived into this world, I felt an overwhelming feeling of responsibility.

It's a natural instinct to protect, which was unnatural to me.

I was a natural parent in that I could read her and knew her inside out in a few weeks and months. The responsibility was unnatural to me however.

She will eat you if hungry or tired. She will bounce around for 12 hours a day. She will sleep for 12 hours a day (not when she was a baby mind you lol).

You will be exhausted entirely for 6 weeks. Think 'torture' levels of exhaustion.

You will question every single decision you make for about 6 years. You will not know your arse from your elbow. You won't have a clue what is right. You won't be able to do right from doing wrong.

They will get sick and you will feel your heart actually pound out of your body.

You will find your boss does not give two ****es that your little darling was too sick to go to creche and you had to find some randomer somewhere to mind her while she was sick.

You will pay through the nose for childcare.

You will worry about every first word, tooth, ****e, piddle, dirty nappies, dry nappies (when they're sick), first step, first giggle.

You will worry that they're doing it on time.

You will worry that you're doing it all wrong. That you're being selfish by putting them into their own bed, or selfish by letting them into your bed.

You will worry and worry and worry.

THEN

The little ****ers will giggle at you. Or put their arms around your neck clinging on for dear life.

THEN you realise you are sucked in.

Oink

Mint Aero wrote: »

Everyone who doesn't have kids know their sh*t wastes of money sh*ts. When people have kids they contract a disease in their brain identifiable by this line "the best of me life is when i had me kids"

I'm not quite sure I know what you mean, but if I have this disease whereby I spend the rest of my life thinking I'm happy, I'm not in a rush to find a cure

The Strawman Argument

Well, with no experience whatsoever in the matter, I feel like there's too much focus on keeping the things alive than on everyone involved having fun. Turns the whole thing into a gigantic stress-fest surely.

How Soon Is Now

ZeroImpurities wrote: »

When my little article arrived into this world, I felt an overwhelming feeling of responsibility.

It's a natural instinct to protect, which was unnatural to me.

I was a natural parent in that I could read her and knew her inside out in a few weeks and months. The responsibility was unnatural to me however.

She will eat you if hungry or tired. She will bounce around for 12 hours a day. She will sleep for 12 hours a day (not when she was a baby mind you lol).

You will be exhausted entirely for 6 weeks. Think 'torture' levels of exhaustion.

You will question every single decision you make for about 6 years. You will not know your arse from your elbow. You won't have a clue what is right. You won't be able to do right from doing wrong.

They will get sick and you will feel your heart actually pound out of your body.

You will find your boss does not give two ****es that your little darling was too sick to go to creche and you had to find some randomer somewhere to mind her while she was sick.

You will pay through the nose for childcare.

You will worry about every first word, tooth, ****e, piddle, dirty nappies, dry nappies (when they're sick), first step, first giggle.

You will worry that they're doing it on time.

You will worry that you're doing it all wrong. That you're being selfish by putting them into their own bed, or selfish by letting them into your bed.

You will worry and worry and worry.

THEN

The little ****ers will giggle at you. Or put their arms around your neck clinging on for dear life.

THEN you realise you are sucked in.

Ya my girlfriend is worried all the time because he hasnt stared waving yet or cause he doesnt crawl yet just rolls around :pac: You worry over stupid **** that u shouldnt!.

The sleeping thing and the not knowing why there pissed off is the hardest part so far for me.

What i will say though coming from a mans point of view is that your best to get as involved as u can early on because if u dont it will all drift by you in ways.

Kids are geared to be the mothers business no matter which way u look at it.

I try my best to do as much as i can but it still ends up working out that my girlfriend has to do alot of it simply because its designed for her.

I feel though men who leave it all to the woman well there only making life harder for themselves even though they might think the other way around.

pbear007

Meaning of life, simple as...

.jacksparrow.

pbear007 wrote: »

Meaning of life, simple as...

Not really, not when we have a choice to reproduce or to not,

4zn76tysfajdxp

The Purveyor of Truth wrote: »

Damn, I was going for rapey.

Hopefully just statutory.

paulgalway

Have boy and girl. 19 & 22.

The eldest, female, just passed her exams and now has a degree.

the 2nd starts 3rd yr of an IT degree tomorrow.

From my experience, things change as they grow up:

babies: is their health OK, are they developing correctly.
National school: Will they make friends, will they be liked, bullies!!!
2nd level college: see national school plus are they studying enough, will they do well in Junior and leaving cert, will they make the right CAO choice.

University: see 2nd level college plus are they managing their time correctly.
Are they making a good career choice. boyfriends & girlfriends.

You will always have something to worry about - if you are a good parent.

Our kids have always been well behaved and respectful (compared to cousins and some friends) and we have never had any major issues with them. They work hard at school/college and have always understood that they have boundaries.

Even now at 19 & 22 they like to keep us informed by text where they are at when they go out; they say it gives them an extra sense of security.

Both have said, at different times, when they look at their friends/cousins; they are glad they had us as parents.

Kids will change you life, but I would not change anything; it is a cliche, but true - they are our pride and joy.

Sweet Rose

ZeroImpurities wrote: »

Don't forget Childer's Tuesday!

Nappies, formula, food, clothes, toys, trips to GP/dentist, expensive creams to treat eczema. All in a weeks work. I can't remember the last time I spent money on myself but I don't mind. €32 per week won't cover the above.

stimpson

The best feeling in the world is when you see that your kids are better than your friends kids at stuff. The feeling of smug superiority is really very special indeed.

But seriously, I'm crashed out in front of the Telly watching Toy Story with my two boys and the wifey and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Being a parent is great fun as long as you've had a full nights sleep.

How Soon Is Now

One thing i do love is say my girlfriend has been down in her ma s with my son for a few hours or ive been out myself or whatever when he sees me he goes mental :pac: He looks all excited and has big smile on his face and does nearly jump out of the arms of who ever is holding him ha.

They will both be home in a while so im looking forward to this .

The Purveyor of Truth

Pablo Inexpensive Kleenex wrote: »

Hopefully just statutory.

Oh absolutely.

I mean, the (fictional) men are confused, they've lost the will to live, yes, but they're not monsters.

Hotfail.com

Pablo Inexpensive Kleenex wrote: »

Hopefully just statutory.

Hey, 17 is legal... :pac:

Like anything, it varies for everyone

Wouldn't pay too much attention to others, your experience is going to be unique

groucho marx

I think it is.
I have a ten month old,was never a child person,i still am not a child person unless its my child
She drives me insane,keeps me up and wipes her nose in me but id be lost without her
I no longer spend 50 hours a week at my desk and dont panic over work and if frends took up a joke wrong etc,its changed my outlook in a good way. I still work and when she goes crazy laughing when I collect her in the evening it makes the day worth it
They are expensive little things but its a great experience,has been for me anyway

bleg

Anybody that doesn't have kids will tell you no.

Anybody that does have kids is off their ****ing tree on oxytocin and shouldn't be trusted.

Rubberlegs

I have been a parent all my adult life, now with a 21yr old, 14yr old and a 2yr old. 2yr old still hasn't grasped the concept of sleeping all night. 14yr old is irritable as hell. 21yr old still has the terrible twos. I am a frazzled, sleep deprived wreck, not fit for society most days. But, yeah, despite it all, it's worth it. Sometimes.....ha!

CathyMoran

My husband and i have a much wanted son and daugher who are 4 and 3 -we had 6 heartbreaking miscarriges before we had them and I also faced oesophageal cancer in 2006. Yes, we have not had a night's uninterupted sleep since we had then them but we would not be without them. They are the reason we get out of bed in the morning. Every day they do so many things that make us smile. The only hard thing is when they are ill as you wish that you had it youself to spare them the pain but that is the worst of it. I love being a mother - being a mother and wife defines me and has been the happiest time in my life so far.

Shakespeare's Sister

I think sometimes I might like one child (although I don't know if being an only child is ideal) because the good stuff seems unreal!
But the difficult stuff... ah jeez, I don't know. Wish women's biological clock lasted longer - until mid 40s, say. I know it's possible to have children up to then, but it's risky. If those risks weren't attached until mid 40s it'd be the biz (IMO). I think it's around then that I'd be ready.

Wouldn't mind being a stepmother though. Although it's easy to say that - reality might not be so rosy.

solomafioso

Teeheehee.

boobar

Oink wrote: »

I'm sure if you read the parenting forum you'll find pages of comments from happy parents. I'm half-dead from being up all night, but right now I have a cute litle monkey thing sleeping on my shoulder, making little monkey noises, and I wouldnt change a thing.

Monkies are great...

Kids on the other hand....

DazMarz

The most satisfying sound in the world: the pitter-patter of tiny feet...

Or the blissful silence on a Sunday morning as you have a proper lie-in, safe in the knowledge that you have no fúcking kids!

McTigs

It's the most wonderful thing in the world, nothing compares to it. nothing.

Sure it's tough going, specially at the beginning..... you'll be knackered, broke and have absolutely no time to yourself but big deal, it's a small price to pay for the joy.

people should be shot for the things they say to about-to-be parents, especially the older generation, like it's some big ****ing never ending purgatory. Horse****, it is not. People get bogged down in the fact that their lives aren't all about them anymore and fail to appreciate that parenting is a privilege.....and that kids don't go backwards, they only get older.

What i'm saying is try to cherish each stage they are at cos once it's gone it's gone.... soon they'll be walking and talking you'll miss the nappies and the fat little legs and the cute mispronounced words.

my older girl has just started montessori and her little sister is babbling and in nappies in case anyone thinks i'm looking back with rose coloured spectacles, we're right in the middle of it.

Also, i don't get the worry thing, i don't worry about them at all...... but i'm a dad and they are very pretty girls so my time to worry will come, until then i'm enjoying the best job in the world

Toll Presence

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

I think sometimes I might like one child (although I don't know if being an only child is ideal) because the good stuff seems unreal!
But the difficult stuff... ah jeez, I don't know. Wish women's biological clock lasted longer - until mid 40s, say. I know it's possible to have children up to then, but it's risky. If those risks weren't attached until mid 40s it'd be the biz (IMO). I think it's around then that I'd be ready.

Wouldn't mind being a stepmother though. Although it's easy to say that - reality might not be so rosy.

Less likely you'd be ready in you 40's, in your 20's you have the energy to deal with babies, well more so than your 40's anyway.

When I think of how drunk in love I am with my nephews and niece, I can't imagine how much I'll be sucked in if I have my own. I'm sure nothing describes how much you fall in love with your own kids. This thread is making me choke up in places.

It kind of worries me to have my happiness so dependent on them being healthy and happy, it's a very vulnerable state to be in but it seems to be worth it.

Cienciano

If you're happy in your life and have no natural drive to have kids, don't bother with them. Don't feel it's the natural step in life. It's no big deal not having kids.