Things that have been done to embarrassing death

Electric Sheep

Photo booths. Sweet carts. Pig on a spit.

Milly33

Suppose it is just the new things to be done... I do think the sweet booths are over done but at the same time I always go looking for some surgery goodness

lubie76

Church weddings by people who never attend mass and are non practising! i.e half the country.

eviltwin

white off the shoulder wedding dresses

Milly33

Wishing you didn't say pig spit now we were kinda planning that..

krankykitty

Milly33 wrote: »

Wishing you didn't say pig spit now we were kinda planning that..

I've never actually been at a wedding with one. I would give my left arm for a pig roll instead of beef or salmon!

Pistachios & cream

I think the vast majority of weddings have things that are done to death! Beef or salmon anyone.
Don't worry milly as long as you and your guests are happy with a pig on spit then it will be perfect.

I am glad chocolate fountains seem to have waned in popularity. They always seemed like such a bad idea! Everyone all dressed up, alcohol flowing and flowing chocolate just looking to make a mess!

shruikan2553

The typical Irish wedding of local church, local hotel, eat beef or salmon, maybe a choice of pig or bird if you are lucky, the band plays for awhile, some sandwiches and cocktail sausages, the DJ plays for a few hours and then we all go home.

stinkle

+1 on the chocolate fountain thing. Milly Ive not been to a wedding with pig on a spit either (though we could have arranged it at our own). I wouldn't worry too much about any food options coming under fire, a wedding is a mass catering event. For me it'd be additional non-essential stuff like the chocolate fountains, stuff you wouldn't actually miss if you were a guest and could do without feeling "obliged" to have/spend money on if you're planning a wedding.

unclebill98

Its safe to say everythings been dont to death. Irish Dancers/Singing waiters have not been mentioned.... I did sound for a original band last month. Was the strangest thing I've seen at a wedding. They played for an hour before the meal. Full 6 piece band!

solerina

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Photo booths. Sweet carts. Pig on a spit.

I actually love a photo booth at a wedding and also love pig on a spit so I am quite happy if they keep boing 'done to death'

lazygal

Churches and hotels miles away from each other. Church weddings full stop. They're all the same no matter how "personal" the couple thinks it is. Arriving to a hotel with no food being served. Speeches, I wish we hadn't bothered with them. Irish dancing, candy carts and sundry craps instead of food and drinks flowing.

Toots

I don't think it's possible to do pig on a spit to death. They're the most incredibly awesome things ever! In fact if I was at a wedding and it was pig on a spit with floury baps instead of a main course I'd be as happy as, well, a pig in plop!

One thing I think has been done to death is 'surprise' first dances, however they're a particular pet peeve of mine, so for me they were over done as soon as people started copying the original one.

Faith

Threads like this that are just designed to embarrass and undermine people who've chosen something for their wedding that's listed on this thread :rolleyes:

Toots

Faith wrote: »

Threads like this that are just designed to embarrass and undermine people who've chosen something for their wedding that's listed on this thread :rolleyes:

I'm hoping that isn't the case with this thread, however I shall leave things open for the moment, providing that posters express their opinions in a constructive way, and don't use it as an excuse to bash other posters' choices for their wedding. Everyone has different tastes, so please be respectful of that.

.jacksparrow.

shruikan2553 wrote: »

The typical Irish wedding of local church, local hotel, eat beef or salmon, maybe a choice of pig or bird if you are lucky, the band plays for awhile, some sandwiches and cocktail sausages, the DJ plays for a few hours and then we all go home.

Must be a winning formula so if everyone keeps doing it.

Why change something that works...

eager tortoise

^^^ I agree with this.

There's a reason things like sweets etc are done over and over again. Generally speaking, people like them.

I don't understand this expectation for brides and grooms to have a wedding that is different/bigger/better/more original than the last one guests attended. A wedding is a wedding after all.

Birdie086

We are actually having beef or salmon and probably adding a third very unadventerous option - chicken!! Also doing a candy cart, but doing it ourselves rather than forking out 350 -500 euro for one!! If it was a summer wedding we would have considered a bbq/pig in spit type event but feeding 170 people on NYE will be easier indoors!!

Also having church service, although neither of us would be mass go-ers, I am sure we will have all the cheesy wedding boxes ticked. We may just go mad and mix things up a bit by serving cocktail sausages/goujons/sandwiches on arrival at the hotel.

LynnGrace

eager tortoise wrote: »

^^^ I agree with this.

There's a reason things like sweets etc are done over and over again. Generally speaking, people like them.

I don't understand this expectation for brides and grooms to have a wedding that is different/bigger/better/more original than the last one guests attended. A wedding is a wedding after all.

Agreed.

And nobody should forget what the day is really about, and that, in my opinion, is, celebrating the start of a long and happy marriage, surrounded by your nearest and dearest.

xzanti

I think it's so unfair to say that things are 'done to death'... couples stress and plan and agonise so much over the little details of their big day (well a lot do anyway)..

I'd hate to think of people sitting there thinking "God this is all done to death".. Yes there are common factors in a lot of weddings but they are generally done to the couples own specific taste on the day.. which will set it apart from the last wedding.

rainbowtrout

xzanti wrote: »

I think it's so unfair to say that things are 'done to death'... couples stress and plan and agonise so much over the little details of their big day (well a lot do anyway)..

I'd hate to think of people sitting there thinking "God this is all done to death".. Yes there are common factors in a lot of weddings but they are generally done to the couples own specific taste on the day.. which will set it apart from the last wedding.

To the couple it might be different, to the guests it is just more of the same. All wedding menus are broadly similar. The vast majority of Irish weddings follow the same formula : church - reception - band - DJ, with speeches, first dance and cake cutting thrown in.

worded

Things that have been done to death?
Weddings themselves.

Is it one 1 in 3 survive that special day?

worded

In all seriousness - see point 8

A premarital course is essential

http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/the-eight-truths-about-weddings-that-no-one-ever-tells-you

lazygal

xzanti wrote: »

I think it's so unfair to say that things are 'done to death'... couples stress and plan and agonise so much over the little details of their big day (well a lot do anyway)..

I'd hate to think of people sitting there thinking "God this is all done to death".. Yes there are common factors in a lot of weddings but they are generally done to the couples own specific taste on the day.. which will set it apart from the last wedding.

I'm 99% sure most of our guests had been to weddings like ours many times. I've been to many myself and it's a formula that works. But we weren't under any illusions that ours was different or quirky. Most weddings aren't, so couples should relax and stop stressing about getting jars wrapped in burlap and making "rustic" signs. Pinterest has a LOT to answer for with all the "rustic country feel" weddings doing the rounds.

Cienciano

Do what you like, who cares if it was done to death?

pwurple

Don't like to say things have been done to death for weddings either. There's only so much originality you can bring to any party. We've all been to loads of children's birthday parties, we've all been to loads of weddings. I've yet to see people say... Gosh, that happy birthday cake thing with the candles has been DONE to DEATH, because we all enjoy the happiness it brings. Same thing over and over again is perfectly fine by me when it is a happy occasion.

Typer Monkey

lazygal wrote: »

I'm 99% sure most of our guests had been to weddings like ours many times. I've been to many myself and it's a formula that works. But we weren't under any illusions that ours was different or quirky. Most weddings aren't, so couples should relax and stop stressing about getting jars wrapped in burlap and making "rustic" signs. Pinterest has a LOT to answer for with all the "rustic country feel" weddings doing the rounds.

I was just going to say the 'rustic' thing is really having a moment eh? I don't know if it's actually happening in real life or just on wedding blogs but it seems burlap, jam jars, bunting and wild flowers are where it's at at the moment! (Followed by vintage birdcages and twee teacups) :D

I don't really get the point....by saying something has been done to death it's suggesting that you want something different. Yet doing something different is also sneered at as "trying too hard."
It's a party FFS.
I've noticed the sneery heads on guests at recent weddings I've attended. Sad really, that the cynicism kicked in so soon after their own big day.

Tarzana

Toots wrote: »

One thing I think has been done to death is 'surprise' first dances, however they're a particular pet peeve of mine, so for me they were over done as soon as people started copying the original one.

Imagine how much stress and weeping and gnashing of teeth goes with organising those surprise dances?

Tarzana

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

Must be a winning formula so if everyone keeps doing it.

It's not really though, people just it this way because it's the convention in this country and it can be difficult and expensive to do things differently, probably due to economies of scale. I think it's fair to say that many people are thoroughly fed up of this format.

.jacksparrow.

Tarzana wrote: »

It's not really though, people just it this way because it's the convention in this country and it can be difficult to do it differently. I think it's fair to say that many people are thoroughly fed up of this format.

Well then these people shouldn't go if their so selfish that all they can think about is themselves on one of a couples biggest day of their lives.

Spoilt brats comes to mind.

.jacksparrow.

Tarzana wrote: »

It's not really though, people just it this way because it's the convention in this country and it can be difficult to do it differently. I think it's fair to say that many people are thoroughly fed up of this format.

Well then these people shouldn't go if their so selfish that all they can think about is themselves on one of a couples biggest day of their lives.

Spoilt brats comes to mind.

Tarzana

xzanti wrote: »

I'd hate to think of people sitting there thinking "God this is all done to death".

Inevitably, some people will be thinking that - so I think the couple should please themselves and get what they want. You'll never please everyone.

Tarzana

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

Well then these people shouldn't go if their so selfish that all they can think about is themselves on one of a couples biggest day of their lives.

Spoilt brats comes to mind.

But sure, you can't help if you internally feel weary about going to another formulaic Irish wedding. Doesn't mean you'll vocalise that thought and most people won't be rude enough to do that. But you can think it if you like, unless the thought police are out in force! :eek:

Toots

Tarzana wrote: »

Imagine how much stress and weeping and gnashing of teeth goes with organising those surprise dances?

Exactly!! It's a miracle any of those couples make it up the aisle at all!! :P

Toots

Honestly, I love weddings. It doesn't matter a bit to me that there's a set 'formula' for the day, to me it's about having fun with family and friends. Once the venue is nice, the food isn't slop, the bar prices aren't extortionate, and there's a decent dj/music, to me that's a formula for a good time.

I mean, there are elements of a wedding day that are not going to change no matter what: there's obviously going to be the wedding itself, guests will have to be fed at some point (we hope!), there's bound to be someone there taking a few pics, there may or may not be a cake, in most cases there will be some sort of dancing at some point in the day.

IMO, there's only so many ways to arrange those things, and no matter how 'different' or 'quirky' you think your wedding is, the common elements will be the same.

Even if you get married on a roundabout in the middle of a dual carriageway, have your reception in a yurt, have a meal that guests have to catch and kill using spears and nets, and instead of a DJ you have a Romanian Folk band playing the Hurdy Gurdy, you're not going to be the only person who's ever gotten married and had a gathering to celebrate it.

To be fair, going by my own circle of family and friends, for every one that thinks 'church & hotel' weddings are overdone, there's an equal amount who think the 'unconventional' type weddings are also overdone. Give it 10 years and mason jars and bird cages will be considered passé, and 'beef or salmon' will be where it's at. Give it 20 years and the mason jars will have made a comeback.

At the end of the day, it's up to the bride and groom to decide how and where they want to celebrate. If you don't like the venue/day plan/ceremony type then rsvp saying you can't make it. Don't go to the wedding just to deride and sneer at things they've chosen to include in the day. If you spend the day thinking:
"Oh great, a church wedding, sure the last time they saw the inside of a church they were being baptised." or
"FFS, the reception is in a hotel/castle/country house/x venue, like that's original" or
"Well, well, well, tea & sambos, I'd never have expected that." or
"If I see another chocolate fountain/sweet cart/icecream van/photobooth..." or
"Dinner time, what's on the menu? Beef or salmon, how trite!" etc, then you're going to have a crap day, purely because of your mindset. If you actually go around saying any of this stuff on the day, then you're just rude.

When you get down the nitty gritty of it, the only really unique thing about a wedding is the actual couple getting married.

P_1

The "getting into massive debt for the sake of one day" aspect to it is what strikes me as being the worst. Yes it is a special day for you but there's no need to be spending crazy money on it. So long as you have your bride/groom and your friends and family around you that's really all you need. You'll have a great day, you'll have a laugh, who cares about keeping up with the bloody Jones'.

Tarzana

Toots wrote: »

If you don't like the venue/day plan/ceremony type then rsvp saying you can't make it.

For outer circles asked to weddings, that's all fine and well, but you know yourself the obligation is there for many people. No, they don't have to go but it'll be frowned upon if they don't. It's pointless denying that a social obligation exists for weddings. So, I can understand people attending weddings out of expectation or obligation feeling a bit weary at the whole thing. They might still enjoy themselves, but I don't think it's a mindset keeping them from a bit jaded by the whole thing. And a fair amount of people just don't like weddings, despite trying. They can just not be your thing, it's not a bad attitude.

Milly33

Well tis true kinda of, no one is forcing you to go, only close friends really and sure don't you just bare it for them.. Id say I would be on of those people who just don't like weddings, but just the standard wedding of hotel, champers, dinner, speeches and going on but sure that's they way it goes..

Forgot about the old choco fountains they did seem like a very good idead alright at the start but in the end id say there was mess everywhere..

clint_silver

Milly33 wrote: »

Well tis true kinda of, no one is forcing you to go, only close friends really and sure don't you just bare it for them.. Id say I would be on of those people who just don't like weddings, but just the standard wedding of hotel, champers, dinner, speeches and going on but sure that's they way it goes..

Forgot about the old choco fountains they did seem like a very good idead alright at the start but in the end id say there was mess everywhere..

The fountains aren't that bad really. If you see runny chocolate most people take a bit of care. It's not like an oompah loompah is splashing about in it.

Actually there's a thought for a business. Oompah loompah waiters at a wedding. I'd pay to go to that.

Teyla Emmagan

I have a real thing against chocolate fountains. I think they're naff, for a start. And unhygenic. And messy. And the chocolate isn't nice. And there is something very offputting about the sight of melting flowing chocolate, IMO. And they're also really ugly. Why would you want something in the corner of your wedding that looks like a cross between Mount Vesuvius and a mud pit? Going 'glug, glug, glug' and spitting at people?

I feel better if I occasionally get it off my chest about them :-)

Teyla Emmagan

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I have a real thing against chocolate fountains. I think they're naff, for a start. And unhygenic. And messy. And the chocolate isn't nice. And there is something very offputting about the sight of melting flowing chocolate, IMO. And they're also really ugly. Why would you want something in the corner of your wedding that looks like a cross between Mount Vesuvius and a mud pit? Going 'glug, glug, glug' and spitting at people?

I feel better if I occasionally get it off my chest about them :-)

Did you lose your family to a chocolate fountain


Never seen one. It'd have to be really good choc though

pig on a spit sounds awesome

Dolbert

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I have a real thing against chocolate fountains. I think they're naff, for a start. And unhygenic. And messy. And the chocolate isn't nice. And there is something very offputting about the sight of melting flowing chocolate, IMO. And they're also really ugly. Why would you want something in the corner of your wedding that looks like a cross between Mount Vesuvius and a mud pit? Going 'glug, glug, glug' and spitting at people?

I feel better if I occasionally get it off my chest about them :-)

The chocolate is usually mixed 50/50 with oil to keep it flowing. Bleurgh

Dolbert

Dolbert wrote: »

The chocolate is usually mixed 50/50 with oil to keep it flowing. Bleurgh

:eek:

ABajaninCork

It's funny, but I was having this discussion with my husband only yesterday...

People need to realise that weddings are by definition generic! If you marry in church, the vows have to follow a defined process. Same with Civil Ceremonies. No matter how hard you try to be 'different', the end result is the same. YOU'RE MARRIED!! . Some people have a party - some don't. Who cares? As long as the happy couple are comfortable with their choice - Great!

You can add your own little touches to make it personal to you both. You can get married in your Sunday Best if you like (which is what used to happen). Your wedding is personal to YOU.

So what if many of the little touches have been 'done to death'? I really hate this inverse snobbery. Have what you want - nobody will agree 100% with your choices anyway!

P_1

P_1 wrote: »

The "getting into massive debt for the sake of one day" aspect to it is what strikes me as being the worst. Yes it is a special day for you but there's no need to be spending crazy money on it. So long as you have your bride/groom and your friends and family around you that's really all you need. You'll have a great day, you'll have a laugh, who cares about keeping up with the bloody Jones'.

But not every couple borrows money to pay for their wedding?
We didn't borrow a cent. It was paid for by savings. And we could well afford it anyway.
None of my close friends borrowed money to pay for their weddings either.

Even if they had, who cares? It's not me or you paying back the debt.

Faith

pwurple wrote: »

Don't like to say things have been done to death for weddings either. There's only so much originality you can bring to any party. We've all been to loads of children's birthday parties, we've all been to loads of weddings. I've yet to see people say... Gosh, that happy birthday cake thing with the candles has been DONE to DEATH, because we all enjoy the happiness it brings. Same thing over and over again is perfectly fine by me when it is a happy occasion.

Or on the flip side, a funeral. Imagine someone saying "Gawd, I can't believe they used 'On Eagles' Wings! That's SO overdone now! And sure the priest didn't know the family from Adam!'. I don't understand why weddings are so open to criticism when other events also follow formulas in the exact same way.

Tarzana wrote: »

For outer circles asked to weddings, that's all fine and well, but you know yourself the obligation is there for many people. No, they don't have to go but it'll be frowned upon if they don't.

If my 'inner circle' considered it a burden to go to my wedding, and were only going out of obligation while gritting their teeth and thinking about how formulaic it was, I'd be reconsidering my inner circle.

lazygal

Faith wrote: »

If my 'inner circle' considered it a burden to go to my wedding, and were only going out of obligation while gritting their teeth and thinking about how formulaic it was, I'd be reconsidering my inner circle.

Really? You'd reconsider friendships based on how people feel internally about formulaic Irish weddings? I think most couples are realistic and they know weddings are samey in Ireland. I'm sure some of our aunts and uncles who've been to dozens of weddings over the decades thought "here we go again" at our wedding but who cares? It's not as easy to actually decline an.invite to a good friend's wedding without good reason without causing hassle so most people who are part of the inner circle but don't like weddings suck it up and attend with all the civilities intact. And tune out during the speeches, don't huff when Ruth's reply to Naomi is read out by someone who never goes to mass and smiles during the first dance shuffle.

Faith

lazygal wrote: »

Really? You'd reconsider friendships based on how people feel internally about formulaic Irish weddings? I think most couples are realistic and they know weddings are samey in Ireland. I'm sure some of our aunts and uncles who've been to dozens of weddings over the decades thought "here we go again" at our wedding but who cares? It's not as easy to actually decline an.invite to a good friend's wedding without good reason without causing hassle so most people who are part of the inner circle but don't like weddings suck it up and attend with all the civilities intact. And tune out during the speeches, don't huff when Ruth's reply to Naomi is read out by someone who never goes to mass and smiles during the first dance shuffle.

Yep, if my close friends were more concerned with being bored by formula than being excited to celebrate my day with me, I'd reconsider that friendship - or at least, the wedding invitation. I don't like to entertain negative people in my life, so if someone could choose either A) boredom and apathy or excitement and joy from the exact same situation, I'd prefer to be around people who choose excitement and joy.

If someone declines an invitation to a close friend's wedding because they'll find it boring, they're not much of a friend.

lazygal

I don't know how many Irish weddings you've been to but they don't all come with anticipation and excitement after you've been to a few no matter how close the friends or family are. That's not to say I'm not delighted for the couple and happy to spend time celebrating their wedding but it's also one of many, the same way the 21st parties were at that stage or the other usual events are. I think it's a little unrealistic to think every friend is nothing but happy from the time you get engaged. I know some friends of ours weren't delighted we got married on a Friday. I know some family thought our non church ceremony lacked a sense of importance. I know some were really happy there was no long drive between venue. I wouldn't have reassessed a friendship because someone thought our wedding was a typical Irish wedding and indistinguishable from others they attended. Because it was a typical wedding and having been to dozens of them myself I'm under no illusions.

Faith

Lazygal, I'm really not going to debate this any further with you. All I'll say is that, if my closest friends didn't want to come to my wedding because they were bored of formula, then it would speak volumes to me about the depth of our friendship. I'm prepared to entertain things I don't really like for the sake of my friends when it's important to them - I'd expect the same in return, is all.