Are peopel still living like that

Was interested in going out to something cultural so I looked at the offering from the local arts centre came across a one man theatrical performance of The great hunger by Patrice Kavanagh.

.. The Great Hunger's protagonist is bachelor farmer Patrick Maguire who has spent years at his mother’s beck and call. When she finally dies aged 91, he himself is 65 and has missed the boat in terms of finding a wife and having a family of his own, a source of acute sorrow and regret to him.


Sounds nice and miserable, that poem was composed in the 1940s, anyway do you think there are people still living like that and if so do you blame the mother or the son for getting locked in to a life like that, or had the internet and the choices of modem life freed everyone to live the life they want.

Nemeses

It's Life.

Whatcha gonna do?

fleet_admiral

Ever been to Dolphins Barn on Dublin's southside op? Its like walking onto the set of Angelas Ashes

Lapin

Peopel are strange.

Nodin

fleet_admiral wrote: »

Ever been to Dolphins Barn on Dublin's southside op? Its like walking onto the set of Angelas Ashes

Not as bad as it was, in fairness.

Awkward Badger

May still happen but far less common now, I think people have ways and means to change their life if they want to do so whereas in the past it would have been much more difficult. I'm not sure if I'd blame either one either. Its just the way life turned out for them, they did what they had to do and only when it changed could the guy reflect on the fact it could have been different. That can happen to anyone in any life even one they are happy in.

Duff

Nemeses wrote: »

It's Life.

Whatcha gonna do?

When Hulkamania runs wild on you?

Galwayguy35

I know a guy around here who was in my class in school, he worked for a while but for the last 15 years lives with his parents and only goes to the shop to buy whatever food they need for the week.

His parents would be late 60s/very early 70s and are in good health apart from being a bit odd and he seems to have gotten used to the lifestyle he has now.

Awkward Badger

Awkward Badger wrote: »

May still happen but far less common now, I think people have ways and means to change their life if they want to do so whereas in the past it would have been much more difficult. I'm not sure if I'd blame either one either. Its just the way life turned out for them, they did what they had to do and only when it changed could the guy reflect on the fact it could have been different. That can happen to anyone in any life even one they are happy in.

But the protagonist is not happy he got locked in to the life with his mother and than couldn't escape, what about middle aged men who refer to their mother as ..".the mother".. and its often not a joke! in the 1940s it was maybe more understandable but anyone still locked in to a relationship like that today when in theory we have all the choice in the world.

Nodin

mariaalice wrote: »

But the protagonist is not happy he got locked in to the life with his mother and than couldn't escape, what about middle aged men who refer to their mother as ..".the mother".. and its often not a joke! in the 1940s it was maybe more understandable but anyone still locked in to a relationship like that today when in theory we have all the choice in the world.

I highlighted the thing there.

4zn76tysfajdxp

mariaalice wrote: »

what about middle aged men who refer to their mother as ..".the mother".. and its often not a joke!

What?

dgt

Lapin wrote: »

Peopel are strange.

Must be a Ukrainian activist

takamichinoku

Old Ireland had a fierce fixation on land. My dad's brothers were shipped off to care for auld ones so they'd inherit their land when they die. In two of the cases, the ones lived for about 20 more years; in one of those cases, she gave the land to another person and never thought to mention it. There's a lot of fellas of that generation who got tossed into situations like that, some at very young ages, and just never had any opportunity to do anything else.

It still happens today a good bit but usually only if one of the parents gets sick at a young age. Most of the time, due to health standards improving and what have you, these young lads will get a fair bit of freedom to live a bit in their 20s outside of the summertime.


Regarding how people "have ways and means to change their life if they want to do so"; while that's true, in a lot of cases there's a lot of sentimentality and emotional blackmail involved in keeping them there or even preventing them from scaling down to facilitate it. Very few of the ones I can think of would have considered staying there a choice as much a thing that was thrust upon them.

Jimminy Mc Fukhead

These type of characters that inspired Kavanagh's fictional version were probably hiding from the world or life. It's not like they would otherwise be gregarious, popular community leaders with a broad social network and a 10/10 wife three delightful children - all except they were "locked" (?) into this unnatural lifestyle. Typically this type might be a misfit anyway and to fit in somewhere might join the church or stay at home caring for their folks.

I'd blame them both for doing what was easy, not what was best.

The mother kept her son as a child, the adult son allowed himself to be kept as a child.

It happens everywhere, and in the final analysis it's not something anyone can change except the players themselves.

Jimminy Mc Fukhead

Jimminy Mc Fukhead wrote: »

These type of characters that inspired Kavanagh's fictional version were probably hiding from the world or life. It's not like they would otherwise be gregarious, popular community leaders with a broad social network and a 10/10 wife three delightful children - all except they were "locked" (?) into this unnatural lifestyle. Typically this type might be a misfit anyway and to fit in somewhere might join the church or stay at home caring for their folks.

But what about today, so anyone choosing to stay with "the mother" often with on going battles over minor issues are doing it because they were odd and or soft in the first place.

Awkward Badger

mariaalice wrote: »

But the protagonist is not happy he got locked in to the life with his mother and than couldn't escape, what about middle aged men who refer to their mother as ..".the mother".. and its often not a joke! in the 1940s it was maybe more understandable but anyone still locked in to a relationship like that today when in theory we have all the choice in the world.

It doesn't matter whether he's happy or not imo, it only matters how he views it looking back. But neither himself nor "the mother" were to blame for simply living the life that they found themselves in. Its only upon the death of the mother and the dramatic change in his life that he faces the reality that life has passed him by and he never did the things he wanted to do in life. That could be the case even in a life that someone wasn't unhappy with. Once faced with turning point they look back and realise the life they have lived wasn't the one they would have liked it to be.

In theory people have a choice but in reality the choice may be too hard to make for some and easier to continue on going through the motions and living a life that you may not want to live. I'm sure there are some too who wouldn't think a life caring for their mother to be one which was necessarily wasted. Some could take the view that even if its a life which they would not chose for themselves they did what they had to do.

mariaalice

mariaalice wrote: »

But the protagonist is not happy he got locked in to the life with his mother and than couldn't escape

It was a choice he made. There's always a choice, even if they can be very hard ones, or made by default.

It didn't just happen, it happened because he either offered no resistance or not enough resistance. There were two of them locked into that relationship, two people and two minds making their own choices.

Mr. CooL ICE

Seeyyyymour!

homemadecider

Seymour, the house is on fire!

dgt

No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights

kowloon

Irish equivalent of this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori

Turtyturd

The shocking thing for me is that there are parents who expect that from their children. I have no intention of looking after my parents when they reach a certain age, and would never expect my kids to give up a portion of their lives due to me.

MistyCheese

That's why I kicked my son out of the house when he reached the age of 12. 'You're 12 now, Miguel,' I reminded him. "Time to get out into the world. Off to secondary school with you, don't forget your lunch.'

steddyeddy

mariaalice wrote: »

Was interested in going out to something cultural so I looked at the offering from the local arts centre came across a one man theatrical performance of The great hunger by Patrice Kavanagh.

.. The Great Hunger's protagonist is bachelor farmer Patrick Maguire who has spent years at his mother’s beck and call. When she finally dies aged 91, he himself is 65 and has missed the boat in terms of finding a wife and having a family of his own, a source of acute sorrow and regret to him.


Sounds nice and miserable, that poem was composed in the 1940s, anyway do you think there are people still living like that and if so do you blame the mother or the son for getting locked in to a life like that, or had the internet and the choices of modem life freed everyone to live the life they want.

Yes there most certainly are.

Firefox11

Still pretty common in rural Ireland of today. You would have a middle aged son taking care of elderly parents while also tending to a busy farm (which is about close to a 24/7 job you can get.) Know a few people like that.

You cant just up sticks and abandon people like that!!

DoozerT6

Firefox11 wrote: »

Still pretty common in rural Ireland of today. You would have a middle aged son taking care of elderly parents while also tending to a busy farm (which is about close to a 24/7 job you can get.) Know a few people like that.

My cousin does this. But he seems happy enough, he loves the farming lifestyle. I'd safely say he's never even spoken to a woman, let alone gone on a date, though.....

Barely There

MistyCheese wrote: »

That's why I kicked my son out of the house when he reached the age of 12. 'You're 12 now, Miguel,' I reminded him. "Time to get out into the world. Off to secondary school with you, don't forget your lunch.'

I did similar with mine, sent him up the mountains in just his jocks and a sharpened stick.

Hey, it worked for the Spartans.

Firefox11

DoozerT6 wrote: »

My cousin does this. But he seems happy enough, he loves the farming lifestyle. I'd safely say he's never even spoken to a woman, let alone gone on a date, though.....

Yes. It's more of a lifestyle than anything that is selfish or malicious I find. 'It's in the Blood' as they would say.

WilyCoyote

Yes. I once saw a couple on TV from Royston Vasey. Very odd family. Do they count?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YImpW8f6jM

Nib

I work with a guy like that. He's an odd fellow but he does steam a good ham.

The Diabolical Monocle

All he needed was some whores.

And maybe a pack of jaffa cakes too.

Who the fvck wants a nagging wife and screaming kids.