What Are You Afraid Of?

TommieBoy

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And, in life, there's no safety net. When did life stop being fun and start being scary?" ~ Carrie Bradshaw

Just caught a glimpse behind my (proverbial) mask and didn't like what I saw... And the question came down to asking myself "what are you so afraid of?" I can't put my finger on it... or I don't want to face whatever is hidden, dunno...

So I thought I would ask you ladies, or rather, we might want to ask ourselves... real or irrational... past or present... social or personal... self-inflicted or imposed by others... WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? and where did it come from, how has that affected your life (good or bad)... and how are you dealing with it?

sullivlo

I have an irrational fear / phobia of needles and blood after an incident as a child. I was getting an anesthetic for an operation and they messed it up and I have had a fear ever since. Impacts my life - I'd like to give blood but they won't attempt to because of my phobia. I pass out / panic when I need to give blood. It's embarrassing!

In the more non-phobia fear - I've a fear of death and dead people.

And I live in fear that this is it for life - that there is no more. That this existence is as good as it gets. But I try not to focus on that because it's more about self worth and perception, rather than a basic issue with my life.

Roesy

sullivlo wrote: »

In the more non-phobia fear - I've a fear of death and dead people.

And I live in fear that this is it for life - that there is no more. That this existence is as good as it gets. But I try not to focus on that because it's more about self worth and perception, rather than a basic issue with my life.

This! In my current sleep deprived state I'm not sure I could have expressed it as well.

Oh, and snakes. A friend of mine used share a house with a guy who kept one in their sitting room. I could barely bring myself to go in there. Oh and don't talk to me about the frozen mice that he kept to feed her. Seeing one being beaten to death about 20ft away from me on a beach in Ukraine didn't help either. I was frozen in fear of the snake and shocked at the brutality at the same time. I looked away almost immediately but it's the only time I've really come in close contact with them outside of glass cases.

Liam McPoyle

Everything!



Dogs.




Dutchmen.





The gaaaaaaathering darkness!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I have a kind of nice story but bear with me.

I used to absolutely terrified of public speaking, I'm quite a shy person and I'd just freeze, be literally ill with worrying about it for days beforehand etc. In college I'd actually skip tutorials and take hits on marks rather than have to do a presentation and I'd rarely speak up in classes. I got pretty good marks in college, it wasn't to do with not knowing or understanding the material or anything.

Then in final year, one of my housemates was doing the same course as me and we had a lot of the same modules. There was a 9am Thursday lecture we both had but that I more than often skipped because it was far away and at 9am and I was lazy. One Thursday I happened to wake up and think feckit, I'll head in. I knocked on my housemate's door as I was getting ready to leave and she responded but I couldn't make out what she was saying so I knocked and went in.

She was lying on the floor, couldn't get up, couldn't talk properly, long story short she'd had a brain hemorrhage at the ripe old age of 21. we called the ambulance and thank Christ she'd been found pretty quickly and got oxygen and everything. Pure fluke that I'd happened to get up on that morning, there were seven of us in the house all on different schedules and she'd often stay in the library in the evenings, it could easily have gotten to the next morning before anybody had noticed we hadn't seen her. One of the other girls is a nurse and was able to handle calling the ambulance and making it clear how serious it was and that they had to get to us immediately. Our house was only a few minutes away from the hospital. So many things that could have been a different way were the right way. (I also got to have a go in an ambulance tearing it through town with the bee-baw going, which, not going to lie, was pretty cool even under the circumstances)

Anyhoo, I was pretty shook up about that as you would be, early the next week I had a presentation that was mandatory to pass the module. I wasn't particularly prepared for it because my head had been all over the place since, and you know what, I showed up, didn't give a shít and just did it. I remember kind of having a moment of lucidity mid-way through it and thinking "hey, it's just a presentation, what's the worst that can happen? My friend just nearly died, presentations are actually a piece of piss".

I'm still not great with presentations, but they're doable, I get nervous but I'm able to keep them in perspective. The other good thing is every time I do one I'm reminded of my friend and reminded to be thankful for the people in your life and not take them for granted.

aqn29swlgbmiu4

Dying alone.

xElDeeX

Messing my kids up....or spending so long worrying about messing my kids up that I forget to live a little.

alleystar

Bit morbid, but my mother dying is what I fear the most I think.

TommieBoy

Trusting Men, I think.

...with no good reason, except my mam instilled her distrust of men (and their intentions) in me at an early age.

I, personally, have been blessed to have known only the best kind of men in life - the good-hearted, integritous ones - so as I say, the distrust/fear is completely unfounded in my own life.

Makes me sad my mam had opposite experiences with the opposite sex... But it makes me more mad to realise I allowed her distrust to adversely affect my own (good) relationships.

TommieBoy

...and Being Myself...openly... is something I must fear.

...stems again from childhood when nothing I was, did or said was ever deemed good, right or worthy... I was taught, in deed and words, I was not good enough; nay, shameful. That's been a heavy load to carry for much too long. My means to deal with it has been to hide. Funny thing is, I can forgive anyone, anything. I think even the most heinous person worthy and redeemable; pity I cannot extend myself the same courtesy I do with others... But so goes the way of fear, shame and blame.

I used to be afraid of failure and being out of control.

Then I was clattered with the worst depression one could imagine.

I beat it and now nothing scares me any more.

Obviously I hate the idea of something bad happening to a loved one but I've accepted that's life and I'm not afraid any more.

herisson

I'm afraid of dying alone and bring stuck where I am for the rest of my life.

chinacup

Small airplanes, airports, flying, government buildings, big cities and any big touristic site that could potentially be bombed, death and anything that reminds me of death, theme parks, zoos, circuses, safaris, poverty, natural disasters, public speaking, the public in general.. So basically there's just no way I'm ever going to have fun in life :P Granted most of these aren't phobias, just things that cause great alarm.

Greenduck

Heights mostly


I heard a quote recently though that went like this;
'What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?'.

This got me thinking that fear is everywhere. Its not just within the obvious phobias of spiders, public speaking etc. Its the thing that stops us from doing exactly what we want. In reality, we physically have never had as much freedom as a nation , yet, fear of what others think, embarrassment and societal and media pressure is constantly hindering us from doing what we really want or saying how we really feel. In saying that, I think it is really our own minds that can control fear levels and its something personally I'm working on.

Das Kitty

Being lost.

At sea, in the woods, inside my own mind.

shalalala

Clowns. Argh they are awful!

And like another poster. My Mam dying fills me with terror. I crave having someone else in my life for when that day comes. I need that safety net. I kind of fear that I will be like Alexander McQueen and not be able to do life without her. I guess it sounds sad but she is my mam, my best friend and my only close blood relation. My rock basically.

baby and crumble

On the more minor side of fears, in pretty scared of spiders, although I'm not as bad as I was.

For some unknown reason, ballerinas in tutus scare the bejesus out of me. And Venetian masks. *shudder*

But as for the 'big' fears, I'm scared that I'll die in a disaster- like a plae crash or something. I don't not do something because of it, I guess it's more of a fervent hope I don't die scared. You know?

Dolbert

Nothing but fear itself.

Oh, and wasps. *flails*

Chattastrophe!

My fear, for the last several months, has been dying when my baby was due a feed.

Not normal and not rational, but that's it. He used to feed at 6am, 10am, 2pm, 4pm, and 8pm. I used to not be able to relax until after his 2pm feed, even though his dad wouldn't be home til 5.45. Logic was, he'll be overdue his feed, but he won't actually be starving at that stage. So, as long as I stay alive until at least 2pm today, we're sound.

Sure of course, his dad was going to come in, see a squalling baby and his girlfriend's dead body, and give him his feed as normal. :rolleyes:

I'm not on maternity leave now so it's all good. And yes I'm on medication for anxiety issues.

I still constantly worry about when his next feed is due.

leahyl

Emilia Big Telecommunications wrote: »

Dying alone.

Not so much of dying alone (yet!) but I suppose I'm afraid of never meeting anyone special to share my life with I suppose if that's the way it's going to be then I can do nothing about it but I look at people I know, who are older than me and are single and I wonder "are they lonely?"

leahyl

Dolbert wrote: »

Nothing but fear itself.

Oh, and wasps. *flails*

Ditto!!! They just hover the whole time and attack without provocation!

iwantmydinner

I'm most afraid of loved ones dying. I'm terrified at the prospect of grief. My life revolves around my family, my close friends and to a lesser-but-still-large degree, my treasured animals. I'm a tough fcuker, super pragmatic, well able to process things and do what needs to be done, but not confident of my ability to cope with huge loss.

I'm far less afraid of dying myself, because I'm pretty sure that everyone who needs to know, knows how much I love them.

Princess Peach

The best friend I ever had, greatest dog you'd ever meet, is pretty old now

numnumcake

Being alone. I grew up as an only child, had no cousins and very few friends as my social skills were very stunted.

I have made some really good friends in college but that's finished next year and I can't help wondering who will I have after that. I would love to have my own family some day and hope that my kids won't fell the loneliness that I felt as a child and to some extent I always will.

Lux23

I think loved ones dying would be my biggest fear, I try not to think of it too much.

meeeeh

iwantmydinner wrote: »

I'm most afraid of loved ones dying. I'm terrified at the prospect of grief. My life revolves around my family, my close friends and to a lesser-but-still-large degree, my treasured animals. I'm a tough fcuker, super pragmatic, well able to process things and do what needs to be done, but not confident of my ability to cope with huge loss.

I'm far less afraid of dying myself, because I'm pretty sure that everyone who needs to know, knows how much I love them.

Same here. For myself I am only afraid of dying slowly suffering from some delibitating or painful illness. I'm not afraid of death because I believe there is nothing after and I am sure it nothingness will be perfectly fine. I believe that kids will be fine eventually without me.

Failure.

Dying without having made a meaningful contribution to the world, either through work, or through raising children to become good adults, or through making a partner and other people happy.

chellyry

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

My fear, for the last several months, has been dying when my baby was due a feed.

Not normal and not rational, but that's it. He used to feed at 6am, 10am, 2pm, 4pm, and 8pm. I used to not be able to relax until after his 2pm feed, even though his dad wouldn't be home til 5.45. Logic was, he'll be overdue his feed, but he won't actually be starving at that stage. So, as long as I stay alive until at least 2pm today, we're sound.

Sure of course, his dad was going to come in, see a squalling baby and his girlfriend's dead body, and give him his feed as normal. :rolleyes:

I'm not on maternity leave now so it's all good. And yes I'm on medication for anxiety issues.

I still constantly worry about when his next feed is due.

I used to think this exact same thing when my boy was a baby too. I'm glad I'm not the only one . I'd make sure that I'd never sit a way that if something suddenly happened me he couldn't fall from my arms and break his neck. I'd leave a window open so that if anything did happen someone might see and be able to get in to get him. I'd always have a blanket with us so that he wouldn't get cold. Always had another bottle made up and nappies in a visible place just in case. And many more silly little things. I have no idea why I thought something would happen me. I still sometimes worry and make sure that there's no way he could get his hands on anything dangerous if it did. I've told him that if I'm ever asleep and won't wake up to go get somebody to help. I think it's just maternal instinct (and probably some paranoia too ).

cactuspaw

nothing insane, just those delivery hatches for pubs, you know the ones on the the street. I always have a terrible fear i will fall into one .

Dark Phoenix

spiders / insects / creepy crawlies ugh god I hate them.

heights where you can fall like being on side of a cliff, or bungee jumping or free climbing etc

losing things. I lost a lot over the past 12 months and I kinda hope thats it for a while as I worry losing anything or anyone else significant might break me.

unsubs in the house when its dark and im by myself. addmittedly this usually co incides with me watching criminal minds before bed which is never a good idea!

lazygal

Having a crisis pregnancy in Ireland while the eighth amendment is still in place.

woodchuck

Settling for less than I deserve.

fits

Poverty and debt. Losing my career track. Not having enough money for old age.

iwantmydinner

lazygal wrote: »

Having a crisis pregnancy in Ireland while the eighth amendment is still in place.

THIS

lazygal

Actually, having any pregnancy in Ireland while the eight amendment is in place.

IvyTheTerrible

Dogs off the lead, I get really scared. Apparently I was bitten on the face as a toddler, it probably stems from that.

I used to be very bad with needles (I'd faint if I saw someone else getting injected, that's how bad I was!). Then I was pregnant and got lots of blood tests, I got over it then. Not afraid now.

After my brother died, I got very bad worrying about other family members dying, so I'd have a panic attack if I'd ring home and get no answer. Hate getting calls outside of "normal" times too. It's not as bad as it was but still there a bit.

I also get scared about something happening to my baby son, but I suppose most parents are like that!

LenaClaire

Showing weakness. I learned from an early age that weakness will be taken advantage of, and if you show weakness, people will go for your throat.

It took me a long time, a nervous breakdown and lots of therapy to get over it. I met friends who proved my "knowledge" wrong and helped me heal in many ways.

I think, after that, there is not much I am afraid of, there are things I would rather not have happen, but I think I could handle just about anything.

Other than sharks that is, sharks are very, very bad

TommieBoy

LenaClaire wrote: »

Showing weakness. I learned from an early age that weakness will be taken advantage of, and if you show weakness, people will go for your throat.

It took me a long time, a nervous breakdown and lots of therapy to get over it. I met friends who proved my "knowledge" wrong and helped me heal in many ways.

I think, after that, there is not much I am afraid of, there are things I would rather not have happen, but I think I could handle just about anything.

Other than sharks that is, sharks are very, very bad

Thanks for that LenaClaire... I can relate

Being imperfect is a fear of mine - I learned early that any deficiency was considered a shameful fault (that nobody else had :rolleyes: apparently).

Loss of Control/Independence are also great fears of mine (because people have their own agendas and I have been used to further theirs far too long).

Ironic, since I can't spell, do much right, direct my own path nor locate my independence these days. :mad:

sullivlo

I fear failure.

molly09

Like most people I fear death of loved ones, especially my mother, she is everything to me.

I fear never experiencing falling in love, being in love.......

Been alone, as I am now

I fear change but I guess this is something I have to continue to deal with as change is inevitable

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Scarinae

I’m afraid of insects crawling into my ears and not being able to get them out.

I’m also afraid of heights, but only under specific circumstances. I have no problem with being at the top of cliffs or in tall buildings, but I have difficulty doing rock climbing/abseiling. I think it's not having anything steady under my feet that gets me.

Das Kitty wrote: »

Being lost.

At sea, in the woods, inside my own mind.

I was listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack last week while doing some work, and some of the lyrics in Gollum’s Song (which I think was played over the credits of the Two Towers) are “You are lost, you can never go home” – I just thought that was the bleakest, most miserable thing

ivytwine

shalalala wrote: »

Clowns. Argh they are awful!

And like another poster. My Mam dying fills me with terror. I crave having someone else in my life for when that day comes. I need that safety net. I kind of fear that I will be like Alexander McQueen and not be able to do life without her. I guess it sounds sad but she is my mam, my best friend and my only close blood relation. My rock basically.

You're not alone there Shalalala. A very close friend lost her dad lately, and it's made me realise more acutely that my parents are mortal too. I really do hope I have some kind of support in my life when it comes. I'm an only child and it's very bleak to think of them gone. Hope it's years away.

TommieBoy wrote: »

Thanks for that LenaClaire... I can relate

Being imperfect is a fear of mine - I learned early that any deficiency was considered a shameful fault (that nobody else had :rolleyes: apparently).

Loss of Control/Independence are also great fears of mine (because people have their own agendas and I have been used to further theirs far too long).

Ironic, since I can't spell, do much right, direct my own path nor locate my independence these days. :mad:

+1 on loss of control/independence. In my case it manifests itself in money issues. Having my own money is really important to me and having a joint account with a partner is quite scary to me. I think if and when I get married, I'll have to have my own money too, even if I don't end up working full time.

All the women in my family are mad for road. My granny ended up so frail she couldn't go 80 km for a wedding. I'd hate to end up like that.

Falling in love and finding out he's a murderer. Yes I know that's irrational :P

I am absolutely terrified of snakes too. Christ they are HORRIBLE!

TommieBoy

Bugs - I don't like them. They have been known to make a tough tomboy scream like a girl. :eek:

Men - I am afraid of them... yet intrigued too.

Dating - I run away, at all costs, from contrived traditional dating scenarios.

I am terrified that I may be a disappointment to the man I love - his opinion of me can make my year or shatter my heart forever. So I stay far, far away from any contact.

Ilyana 2.0

I don't think it counts as a fear/phobia, but I am petrified of witnessing violence. If someone was beaten to pulp right in front of me, I wouldn't be able to cope with it. Even seeing violence on TV or in films really, really distresses me. I have no idea why it is, seeing as I've never experienced anything particularly violent. It doesn't affect my life significantly, although my viewing choices are pretty limited!

Then there are things like fearing family members or my boyfriend dying.

Bafucin

My Past. People finding out about my past. That my past will repeat itself.

I had a pretty intense time mentally a few years ago. I am still not sure what to make of that time.

Being like my Dad in the worst ways. Not being like him in the best.

Ending up stuck in the area I came from.

DEBT POVERTY....i am getting to face them now...



My family was always erratic ...I never felt i could depend on them. I was loved and I know I will always be loved.

Phobias? Having no one to call at three o'clock in the morning. The best scenario is having someone to turn around in the bed to or someone to knock on their bedroom door down the hall.

Not having family ...maybe not having a wife and kids later.. i dunno.


I used to have a recurring dream about falling as a kid. I don't fear it now though.

Bafucin

TommieBoy wrote: »

Men - I am afraid of them... yet intrigued too.

Dating - I run away, at all costs, from contrived traditional dating scenarios.

I am terrified that I may be a disappointment to the man I love - his opinion of me can make my year or shatter my heart forever. So I stay far, far away from any contact.

Maybe you are afraid you will disappoint yourself in love maybe or love will disappoint you.

When you think about it, it's him and his opinion that disappoints you. If you need his opinion he can never live up to your expectations.

You'll meet the right person if it's right for you. I think I would be afraid of a girl for whom my opinion meant so much. I would be terrified of breaking her.

I am sure he will think the world of you Tommy Boy.