Being a godmother how special is it to you?

mollybird

Are any of ye ladies a godmother to a child and if so how do ye like it?

ive had my godson (11) up with me for his yearly trip to me a weekend. He lives 2 hours away from me so only get to have him up once a year really. Cherish our days together and is a break of me and husband's routine. We don't have any kids and prob won't have any id say so guess ive always had that special bond with my godson.

I was just asked last night to be an honoury godmother to a little girl who's godmother passed away 2 weeks ago. it was my husband's best friend (who i would be close to) and his wife that had asked me. im thrilled to be asked. their little girl is just 18 months and is gorgeous and even though i haven't seen much of her she was great with me at her aunts funeral last week.

Does anyone think their should be a limited number of godchildren a person can have? The two kids im godparents to now are friends as my two bro's still have no kids even though that is about to change next year as we got the news my sil is due in jan. I decided i would be godmother to one of my bro's kids if i am ever asked and that would be it for me.

lazygal

I have no specific special relationship with mine, nor do my siblings. We haven't baptised our children so no need for godparents. We've also declined to be godparents to other children as we don't believe the teachings of the churches involved.
So I don't see it as particularly special and I'm extremely uncomfortable about the idea of sin being associated with an infant and the indoctrination of children.

Addle

mollybird wrote: »

Does anyone think their should be a limited number of godchildren a person can have? The two kids im godparents to now are friends as my two bro's still have no kids even though that is about to change next year as we got the news my sil is due in jan. I decided i would be godmother to one of my bro's kids if i am ever asked and that would be it for me.

Really? Would you turn someone else down if they ask you?

I have a god daughter. Was exceptionally surprised and honoured to be asked to be involved her life.
She's only a baby yet.
I hope I'll always have a relationship with her.

lazygal

You can have a great relationship with children without being a godparent. I'm far closer to certain relatives than my godparents.

Addle

lazygal wrote: »

You can have a great relationship with children without being a godparent. I'm far closer to certain relatives than my godparents.

That is true too.
But to be picked by friends out of everyone they know for the role is very special to me.

mollybird

ive been a godmother for nearly 11 years now and i haven't taught my godson anything to do with religion. for me it's giving the child special attention away from their siblings and doing something special with them. i had my godson as my pageboy last year at our wedding. he has been coming up from home and having a weekend with me every summer for the past 3 years but i would not have either of his siblings up. i could simply just sit with him in his room and watch him play his ps3 for a bit when im over chatting with his mum (my best friend) or take him down the town with me when im at home and have some "us" time.

all this has paid off i think as we have an incredible relationship and loads of people have commented on it how close we are.

i had the terrible godparents growing up and hated that my siblings had a special relationship with their godparents. Some children i guess value the whole godparent thing and maybe some don't.

princess-lala

I have two nieces and two nephews.

My nephews are identical twins, one is my godson but I'd treat both like god sons.

I have two honorary god children, they weren't nor will they be babtised.

isabella_82

ive had my godson (11) up with me for his yearly trip to me a weekend. He lives 2 hours away from me so only get to have him up once a year really. Cherish our days together and is a break of me and husband's routine. We don't have any kids and prob won't have any id say so guess ive always had that special bond with my godson.

I was just asked last night to be an honoury godmother to a little girl who's godmother passed away 2 weeks ago. it was my husband's best friend (who i would be close to) and his wife that had asked me. im thrilled to be asked. their little girl is just 18 months and is gorgeous and even though i haven't seen much of her she was great with me at her aunts funeral last week.

Does anyone think their should be a limited number of godchildren a person can have? The two kids im godparents to now are friends as my two bro's still have no kids even though that is about to change next year as we got the news my sil is due in jan. I decided i would be godmother to one of my bro's kids if i am ever asked and that would be it for me.

I love being a god-mother and take my duty seriously. My god-daughter comes to Mass with me and I encourage right behaviour. I think you can be a god-mother to how ever many you are asked to be, as long as you are doing the best job you can!!

Teyla Emmagan

My godson is 9 months old, and the most amazing, gorgeous, easy going, and funny little fella on the planet. I LOVE him.

I was thrilled to be asked, and think the sun shines out of him. Clearly it's a very big deal to me :-)

eviltwin

I have one godchild, I don't see him that often as I his parents and I are not really that close anymore, I have only an okay relationship with my nieces and nephews as they all live overseas. I was never really that close to my own godparents, my own kids don't have them so its not an issue for them.

pwurple

My own godparents are great people. They really took the time when I was a child to get to know me, and did treat me a little bit differently to my siblings. Came along to some of my birthday parties, and just generally took an interest. If I met them, they would ask what I was up to with one of my hobbies, or how I was getting on with certain subjects in school. They are completely different people, one is a real hippy soul, the other is an iron-clad business person. Love those influences in my life and their different points of view. It really is great to have those additional grown-up influences as a child, apart from your own parents. Broadens the view.

I have godchildren, and try my best to know them as well as I can. One is grown up now, she is just awesome and we get on well. I tried to show a bit of myself in birthday presents, giving her really nerdy gifts like books or science kits a lot of the time. I was ridiculously chuffed when she said those presents had a bearing on her career, as she has become a very snazzy engineer.

My other godchildren are very small still, but I'm going along the same route with them. They have sleepovers here, and play with my own children, we do stuff together.


Godparents for my own children, I've tried to pick people who I think have an interest in the child, and who will maintain contact.

I should say as well, two of my godchildren are from athiest families, so I was asked to be god-less mother, which is nice. They are from long-established generations of athiest families, rather than just recent excatholics, so don't actually do christmas or easter etc. We spoke about it, they wanted me to include their children in that traditional stuff, so they come over for baking christmas biscuits, when we go to carols I'd ask them along, easter egg hunt... i send them advent calendars, and that kind of thing.

Pomplamousse

I have a handful of nieces/nephews and am godmother to one of them. However I love all of them to bits and wouldn't treat my godchild any differently to any of the others, and I certainly won't be teaching him anything about religion.

Ambersky

I think the concept or idea of being a Godparent is undergoing a transition and probably carries a different meaning for lots of people.

My understanding of a Godparent is that this is someone who has taken part in a Christian ritual, has declared themselves to be a part of that faith understanding it and abiding by the rules of that faith and has made certain promises to assist the child growing up in that faith. Its a christian ritual, being a Godparent is a role one undertakes as part of that religion.

Now Im not a christian anymore so I wont be making any promises to raise a child in that faith and I wont be saying that I am a practicing member of the RC church when I no longer am and quite frankly I dont understand people who do not believe any of it but basically lie their way through a ritual in order to ......... well I dont know, be a part of a childs life, but what kind of a start is that, demonstrating to a child that it is ok to go through the motions, not think about things, not rock the boat and lie if asked to. I know people wont like that and I find myself strange bedfellows with many priests who say that the adults bringing a child to be baptised in a faith need to be practicing members of that faith themselves.
Here is what you are asked as a sponsor in a RC baptism.

V. Do you reject Satan?
R. I do.
V. And all his works?
R. I do.
V. And all his empty promises?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?
R. I do.

From the Catholic Education Resource Center this is the requirement to be a Godparent
http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0233.html

The sponsor must have completed his sixteenth year unless the Bishop has established another age for sponsorship, or the pastor or minister judges that a just cause warrants an exception to the rule. He must be a Catholic who has received the sacraments of holy Eucharist and confirmation, and "leads a life in harmony with the faith and the role to be undertaken." Moreover, the sponsor cannot be impeded by some canonical penalty. Ideally, this sponsor at baptism should also be the sponsor for confirmation.............................

Here we should pause to clarify who qualifies as a Catholic godparent. A Catholic who does not practice the faith by regularly attending Mass or who is in an invalid marriage disqualifies himself from being a godparent. Moreover, if a person is Catholic but antagonistic to the faith, i.e. has the attitude "I am a Catholic but...," and would not be a good example and witness to the faith also disqualifies himself. If a person is not striving to fulfill his own obligations of baptism and confirmation, he will not fulfill the responsibilities of helping another to do so

For those who do believe all that, good for you and Im not trying to rock that faith. Im questioning people who dont actually believe but say they do and take part in a baptism ritual which asks you specific questions which you have to actively say "I do" to.
I guess when you dont really know if you do believe or not that is a bit of a grey area and maybe a lot of people fall into that catagory of saying "I do" rather than "Umm Im not really sure I like some of it but not all of it". My own thinking on this matter is that thinking about it is important and that we have far too much social activity and traditions based on unconscious unexamined beliefs. I would rather someone was in or out.

Some people I understand see themselves as godparents in a new way that does not involve a christian church ceremony with maybe a naming ceremony instead or no ceremony at all but some kind of civil understanding of relationship.

meeeeh

Because people don't deem it important enough of an issue. And because people like ceremonies, otherwise weddings would skip all the waffle and you would just sign a document in solicitor's office. People would be just dropped into a grave and so on... Chatolics Church has a ready made package for a whole pile of life occasions from birth to death. The actual ceremony is more important than the meaning of it.

Ambersky

Ambersky wrote: »

I think the concept or idea of being a Godparent is undergoing a transition and probably carries a different meaning for lots of people.

My understanding of a Godparent is that this is someone who has taken part in a Christian ritual, has declared themselves to be a part of that faith understanding it and abiding by the rules of that faith and has made certain promises to assist the child growing up in that faith. Its a christian ritual, being a Godparent is a role one undertakes as part of that religion.
.

Yeah that's what I think also so I wouldn't expect to be asked or may have to refuse if I were asked.

Scarinae

I was going through some photos with my Mum at Christmas and found one of me as a child with my godmother and a couple who I didn’t remember ever seeing before… I asked my Mum who they were, and she replied “Oh, they’re your other godparents”

The photo was from my christening – I wasn’t baptised until I was two because I was very sick as a child and had spent a lot of time in hospital. My parents had asked this couple to be my godparents not long after I was born, and then by the time my christening came around they’d split up. My parents felt awkward retracting the godparent status, so they came to my christening but I think that was about the extent of their involvement in my life. My parents added a second godmother, who I still see but that’s mainly because she’s still a close friend of my Mum’s.

I’ve never been asked to be a godparent, but I don’t know how comfortable I’d be with it because I’m not religious.

DM addict

I have just recently been asked to be a godparent to my sister's (as yet unborn) child. It's something I'm feeling quite ambivalent about, to be honest.

My sister and her husband are Anglican and live in UK, so I imagine they'll be getting the service done at the Church they go to (most) Sundays. I have made it very clear that I am not religious and that I am not prepared to assist them in raising their child in any religious way - not because I'm against their faith, just because I don't believe it myself and I would consider it dishonest.

So I am happy to play a part in this child's life, and so on. But I don't know that I feel comfortable renouncing Satan and so on, as it's not something I believe. Interestingly, the other godmother is Hindu, so I don't quite know how this service is going to play out. It's months away anyway.

lazygal

I don't understand the "playing a part in the child's life" concept and being a godparent. We're not godparents and manage a relationship with nieces and nephews and our children have plenty of special time spent with relatives. Do some people think if they weren't a godparent they'd miss out on something or the children's would?
And like it or not it's a religious role. I don't see how people can agree to be a godparent and lie through a ceremony if they don't believe in the religion concerned. It's hardly a good message to send to a child that telling lies about religious beliefs is no big deal.

DM addict

lazygal wrote: »

I don't understand the "playing a part in the child's life" concept and being a godparent. We're not godparents and manage a relationship with nieces and nephews and our children have plenty of special time spent with relatives. Do some people think if they weren't a godparent they'd miss out on something or the children's would?
And like it or not it's a religious role. I don't see how people can agree to be a godparent and lie through a ceremony if they don't believe in the religion concerned. It's hardly a good message to send to a child that telling lies about religious beliefs is no big deal.

I get what your saying. I think my sister and her husband see it as asking friends/family to act as moral guides to the child. Which, I guess I would be doing anyway.

To be honest, if I'm going to be asked to renounce Satan and embrace God, I'm not doing it.

JillyQ

I have two god children one of whom is now an adult I dont see her much at all. My nephew is still quiet young at 11 i get to see him about 8 or 9 times a year (we live on different sides of the country). I love spending time with him, especially when its something he loves even if that is only watching a match.

pwurple

lazygal wrote: »

I don't understand the "playing a part in the child's life" concept and being a godparent. We're not godparents and manage a relationship with nieces and nephews and our children have plenty of special time spent with relatives. Do some people think if they weren't a godparent they'd miss out on something or the children's would?

My godchildren are not my nieces or nephews, and the godparents of my children are not their uncles and aunts either.

So, yeah, I think it is another role. I wouldn't take a whole pile of interest in those particular children unless they were my god children.

Of course I also maintain a relationship with nieces and nephews. It's not an either or thing.

pwurple

Ps, is this just turning into yet another religion bashing thread? Because I think that's fairly disrespectful to the OP.

lazygal

pwurple wrote: »

Ps, is this just turning into yet another religion bashing thread? Because I think that's fairly disrespectful to the OP.

I don't think anyone is bashing religion. I wouldn't be a godparent because I don't believe in God and don't believe in indoctrination of infants. That's not bashing anything or anyone. I'm aware most people don't see it as a religious role but there's no getting away from the fact that being a godparent is a religious role.

lazygal

pwurple wrote: »

I understand that you are not religious, and are not a godparent yourself for that reason. i just don't see the point of repeatedly stating that in a thread specifically about the experience of being a godparent.

The Op asked about having a number of godparents and it seeems they're not specifically religious in nature so it seems a pretty broad discussion to me. Questioning the inherent religiousness of the term godparent isn't bashing religion. Debates meander all the time and this is no different. Other posters I have read have differing views on how they view the specialness or otherwise of being a godparent.

pwurple

Nevermind... I'm not getting into it again. Accusing people who give people godparents of 'indoctrination' is absurd at best.

lazygal

pwurple wrote: »

Nevermind... I'm not getting into it again. Accusing people who give people godparents of 'indoctrination' is absurd at best.

I understand people are uncomfortable with the term indoctrination but that's what religion does. The Catholic church has the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Indoctrination is the correct term when people are taught the tenets of their faith, such as preparation for sacramental things like baptism.

baby and crumble

I was godmother to a wonderful little boy for nearly 7 awesome years until he passed away last year. He was the coolest kid ever, and I miss him all the time. It breaks my heart that he died so young. We had great plans that when he got a little older he'd come down to Dublin and hang out with is for a few days on his own away from his Mum. (They're from very far away, so I didn't get to see him half as much as I wanted to)

I'm also godmother to his little brother, who is also the coolest kid ever! I don't get to see him much, but I really love that I have that relationship with him. I'm godmother in name, as the religion my friend married into doesn't have godparents, but she wanted me to have a named relationship. I'm not really Christian anymore, so when the time comes I'd love to teach him about meditation and some of the teachings I adhere to. If he wants.

But I was and am so honoured to have been part of their lives, even though one life was so short. But he taught me a lot, and his brother does the same.

rainbowtrout

I'm not a godparent to any child and being atheist I'm not likely to be in the forseeable future.

But religious aspect of it aside, how many of you would take as much of an interest in your godchild, if you weren't a godparent, if you were just their aunt/uncle, friend of child's parent etc?

JillyQ

baby and crumble wrote: »

I was godmother to a wonderful little boy for nearly 7 awesome years until he passed away last year. He was the coolest kid ever, and I miss him all the time. It breaks my heart that he died so young. We had great plans that when he got a little older he'd come down to Dublin and hang out with is for a few days on his own away from his Mum. (They're from very far away, so I didn't get to see him half as much as I wanted to)

I'm also godmother to his little brother, who is also the coolest kid ever! I don't get to see him much, but I really love that I have that relationship with him. I'm godmother in name, as the religion my friend married into doesn't have godparents, but she wanted me to have a named relationship. I'm not really Christian anymore, so when the time comes I'd love to teach him about meditation and some of the teachings I adhere to. If he wants.

But I was and am so honoured to have been part of their lives, even though one life was so short. But he taught me a lot, and his brother does the same.

That is so sad, i know i would be devasted if anything happened to either of my Godchildren even though i dont really see my god daughter anymore

Ambersky

I would be interested to know of any special or sponsor/guide relationships people have with children as a kind of alternative but simular to the religious godparent role, maybe one taken on at a naming ceremony.

The Humanist Association of Ireland has celebrants for events like naming ceremonies, weddings and funerals.
http://humanism.ie/ceremonies-2/naming-ceremonies/

I agree there is a place for events in our lives to be marked in some kind of public way. Now that there seems to be a sizable number of people who not only dont believe in Christianity or other organised religions but are actively seeking something that does have meaning and reflects the hopes dreams sorrows and joys in their lives, civil ceremonies seem to becoming more popular. There is now a real alternative if you want it.

what2do

I have two godchildren and I have never bought of the religious elements so this thread has been eye opening! I was delighted to be asked and whilst both are young and nephews so I prob would be close to them anyways I do think I will make a social effort for them

The eldest is 3 and coming for a sleepover at the end of the month and has been dying for this for ages. I recently collected him from crèche early on his own and he was delighted to have 'his' time so I think it's nice to do it:-)

starlit

Yes it is I am very honoured to be one. :cool: Its a very special thing.

Malari

Someone close to me had a baby recently and I'm kind of dreading being asked. I'm not religious and I'm not keen on kids so it's not my bag at all.

I love this person but if I never saw her child again it wouldn't bother me. But as a godmother you'd be sort of obliged to see the kid from time to time.

Lia_lia

I am not a Godmother, and I don't know will I ever be asked since I'm not religious.

My own Godmother is great! She is my Mother's best friend from her childhood. I was baptised when I was older (6 or 7 I think) just because my Mother wanted me to make my communion so I could fit in with the other kids after moving to a new country. My Godmother has definitely treated my extra special, and she also doesn't have any children of her own.

charliebrown77

lazygal wrote: »

I have no specific special relationship with mine, nor do my siblings. We haven't baptised our children so no need for godparents. We've also declined to be godparents to other children as we don't believe the teachings of the churches involved.
So I don't see it as particularly special and I'm extremely uncomfortable about the idea of sin being associated with an infant and the indoctrination of children.

Why would you even comment on this subject If you don't believe in the "need for godparents" and you declined to be godparents to other children?

Malari

Lia_lia wrote: »

I am not a Godmother, and I don't know will I ever be asked since I'm not religious.

My own Godmother is great! She is my Mother's best friend from her childhood. I was baptised when I was older (6 or 7 I think) just because my Mother wanted me to make my communion so I could fit in with the other kids after moving to a new country. My Godmother has definitely treated my extra special, and she also doesn't have any children of her own.

I forgot about my own godparents. I'm not sure if I remember who they are. They didn't treat me specially in any way.

Snoopy1

I think my God parents are my aunt and uncle, but not sure.
I think if i ever got asked i'd be like ahh yea buy them a christening present, then thats me done!!!

I dont get the person that said they are god parent to one child, but not rest of their siblings, and that they take out god child but not other siblings. Thats very unfair on the other kids.

To be honest i dont think being a god parent means much these days

meeeeh

You would be surprised. We decided to pick non relations for god parents for first one. Nothing malicious, I think my partner's reasoning was that they have an aunt and uncle that are already in their lives, why not expand a circle of adults that will care about him. We almost had a war on our hands and I was the bitch although it wasn't even my idea neither was I overly bothered about who the god parents are. it's a bloody minefield. When younger one was baptised her uncle and aunt were her godparents.