Problem with homophobic girls

Noobascious

Hi
I'm bisexual and while I can traipse down to the George and scab a smoke and end up in some guys apartment, the same cannot be said about women.
I'm a bit campish in my demeanour and this puts all the girls in a sour mood. I'm 28 I can get a guy I'm good looking but have yet to meet a girl. No problems getting a woman in Spain, what's the story girls?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I wouldn't sleep with a guy who is also sleeping with guys. And I'm not homophobic either.

kneemos

Greedy fecker.

kylith

Noobascious wrote: »

Hi
I'm bisexual and while I can traipse down to the George and scab a smoke and end up in some guys apartment, the same cannot be said about women.
I'm a bit campish in my demeanour and this puts all the girls in a sour mood. I'm 28 I can get a guy I'm good looking but have yet to meet a girl. No problems getting a woman in Spain, what's the story girls?

Women don't generally pick up men in The George?
The women you're trying to pull don't like camp men? I know that if a guy who appeared gay tried chat me up I'd think he was either so closeted I was setting myself up for trouble, or I was the victim of some prank.

Buzz Killington the third

Have you tried going to straight clubs and not being so camp? And also, don't tell them that you like to sleep with men!

Donkey Oaty

kylith wrote: »

I was the victim of some prank.

You may be on to something there...

Tilly

I went out with a guy years ago who told me he sucked his mate off and enjoyed it. It was so off putting that i called it a day. And that's coming from a girl who has 3 gay mates so i'm not homophobic. Just not into the taste of cock off my blokes mouth :P

OneArt

That doesn't make them homophobic. A lot of people don't feel comfortable dating bisexuals for a myriad of reasons. You can choose who you can refuse to go out with, so they are well within their rights.

That said, I date both genders (when I'm in a dating mood, I'm pretty asexual most of the time). I can understand where these people are coming from, though I don't necessarily agree with it. It's often due to this that I prefer to date bisexual people, whether men or women. Even gay men tend to be somewhat iffy if you're into girls as well (in my experience).

While it can be frustrating for people like us, you've just got to choose whom you date/pick up a little more wisely. I prefer other bisexual people because we have a similar outlook in this regard, but I wouldn't rule out having a totally straight/gay partner either.

KingOfFairview

That's not what homophobic means. But the OP already knows that.

NewCorkLad

Girls are homophobic because they wont sleep with you, thats priceless...

DeadHand

Noobascious wrote: »

Hi
I'm bisexual and while I can traipse down to the George and scab a smoke and end up in some guys apartment, the same cannot be said about women.
I'm a bit campish in my demeanour and this puts all the girls in a sour mood. I'm 28 I can get a guy I'm good looking but have yet to meet a girl. No problems getting a woman in Spain, what's the story girls?

Maybe there is something in your demeanour other than being "a bit campish" that "puts all the girls in a sour mood".

Ever consider the problem may lie with you and your attitude and not with "all the girls"?

You are the only common denominator in the equation.

Refusing to have sex with you doesn't make a girl homophobic.

strobe

Noobascious wrote: »

I'm a bit campish in my demeanour and this puts all the girls in a sour mood.

The vast majority of heterosexual women will find campishness unattractive, that doesn't make them homophobic. There's no big mystery here, masculinise things up a bit when your after a woman.

Shenshen

NewCorkLad wrote: »

Girls are homophobic because they wont sleep with you, thats priceless...

It's certainly taking the "girls only like bad guys, I'm a good guy and that's why I can't score" notion to a whole new level.

recylingbin

I'm not gay or a woman, so cannot contribute to this thread in any meaningful way.
But, best of luck.

KungPao

If a bloke's girl said "Oh, I hope you don't mind, but sometimes I like to lez off", the bloke would probably get a massive bulge in his jocks and ask if he could join in some time. It just doesn't really apply to the opposite scenario methinks.

Banjo String

Serious question....

How come first time posters on such serious personal issues always seem to end up on after hours?

You wouldn't be a bi-troll by any chance of?

Philo Beddoe

Tilly wrote: »

I went out with a guy years ago who told me he sucked his mate off and enjoyed it. It was so off putting that i called it a day. And that's coming from a girl who has 3 gay mates so i'm not homophobic. Just not into the taste of cock off my blokes mouth :P

I take it you'd never sucked any cocks before you met him? Or indeed after?

Muise...

Philo Beddoe wrote: »

I take it you'd never sucked any cocks before you met him? Or indeed after?

I really don't get that either. It's not as if it was all simultaneous.

*thinks about that.

Fierce warm today.

Daith

kylith wrote: »

Women don't generally pick up men in The George?

You'd be wrong there.

Tilly

Philo Beddoe wrote: »

I take it you'd never sucked any cocks before you met him? Or indeed after?

Muise... wrote: »

I really don't get that either. It's not as if it was all simultaneous.

*thinks about that.

Fierce warm today.

I guess the smiley was lost on you both :rolleyes:

Maphisto

Buzz Killington the third wrote: »

Have you tried going to straight clubs and not being so camp? And also, don't tell them that you like to sleep with men!

That's it
/end thread

Muise...

Tilly wrote: »

I guess the smiley was lost on you both :rolleyes:

but the smiley had no cock in its mouth.
neither does the rolleyes.

Macavity.

Guys are a lot more loose than women in general, hence why you get more action with the dudes. It has nothing to do with homophobia.

Tilly

Muise... wrote: »

but the smiley had no cock in its mouth.
neither does the rolleyes.

I'll put in a request to DeV to have a cock smiley included.

RWCNT

Strangely the few times it's came up in conversation the girl in question has found my bisexuality a turn-on, I'm unsure if these girls were bi themselves now. Worth noting that I'm very straight-acting though.

Also, it's fine to not be into camp personalities, not a fan myself. However, if the thought of someone being bisexual in general puts you off then you're obviously homophobic to a degree.

Maphisto

NewCorkLad wrote: »

Girls are homophobic because they wont sleep with you, thats priceless...

That's progress. In the auld days we used to say a girl was obviously a lesbian if she wouldn't sleep with you

Maphisto

RWCNT wrote: »

..... However, if the thought of someone being bisexual in general puts you off then you're obviously homophobic to a degree.

Huh? Did you forget the smiley?

KingOfFairview

RWCNT wrote: »

Strangely the few times it's came up in conversation the girl in question has found my bisexuality a turn-on, I'm unsure if these girls were bi themselves now. Worth noting that I'm very straight-acting though.

Also, it's fine to not be into camp personalities, not a fan myself. However, if the thought of someone being bisexual in general puts you off then you're obviously homophobic to a degree.

No it doesn't

NewCorkLad

RWCNT wrote: »

Strangely the few times it's came up in conversation the girl in question has found my bisexuality a turn-on, I'm unsure if these girls were bi themselves now. Worth noting that I'm very straight-acting though.

Also, it's fine to not be into camp personalities, not a fan myself. However, if the thought of someone being bisexual in general puts you off then you're obviously homophobic to a degree.

So if I, a straight man will not have sex with a homosexual because its not my cup of tea I must obviously be homophobic to a degree.

Lou.m

Noobascious wrote: »

Hi
I'm bisexual and while I can traipse down to the George and scab a smoke and end up in some guys apartment, the same cannot be said about women.
I'm a bit campish in my demeanour and this puts all the girls in a sour mood. I'm 28 I can get a guy I'm good looking but have yet to meet a girl. No problems getting a woman in Spain, what's the story girls?

A lot of women are off put by it sexually. A lot of lesbians are putt off by bi girls sexually. I am a bi girl. It is generally harder to pick up girls than guys anyway. I have only been with two girls. Girls are hard work. Their worth it though!

Yeah guys like the idea of their girl with another girl...they don't get the female gay world though...It's extra female its all about monogamy....and ostracizing the cute bi girl! :mad: The reverse is not true girls don't like the idea of their guy with another guy it is not sexy, to them. It is not an image you would like in your head while you were kissing him.

The second girl I was with wanted my FB password after two weeks! She was hot though! It was a long time ago I know better now!


For me It would depend on the guy I would accept him for who he was, but it is not exactly something would want to think about it would not be a point of attraction. For some women it's a deal breaker. I would accept it as part of who he was. I would imagine most women are the same. Them not wanting to have sex with you does not mean they are bi phobic.

It is easier to pick up guys than girls ...waaaay easier.

By the way the phrase is bi-phobia. If someone was not into dating me because I was bi i would just move on better to know now. And I am always into monogamy by the way. And not wanting to date a bi person does not make you bi phobic. Thinking they are morally wrong and should not get married to someone of the same gender or saying they should just choose does though.

_Redzer_

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I wouldn't sleep with a guy who is also sleeping with guys. And I'm not homophobic either.

How do you know you haven't?

I've slept with lads who after I found out had girlfriends with no clue.

Plus I've shagged women who didn't know my story because it was irrelevant at the time.

You really can't be sure.

Lou.m

Generally women have gay and bi men as mates , it's the ultimate friendzone.

By the way lesbians say all the time they are not into bi girls it works both ways.

The gay community can be more bi phobic than the straight community.

I am pie

RWCNT wrote: »

Strangely the few times it's came up in conversation the girl in question has found my bisexuality a turn-on, I'm unsure if these girls were bi themselves now. Worth noting that I'm very straight-acting though.

Also, it's fine to not be into camp personalities, not a fan myself. However, if the thought of someone being bisexual in general puts you off then you're obviously homophobic to a degree.

It's irresponsible of you to make allegations of homophobia in the way you have.

Sexuality / identity are defined by the individual, if bisexuality turns someone off it is because it turns them off. For some people it's the opposite, it has nothing to do with preducial behaviour in relation to someone's identity or sexuality it has to do with what stimulates them and what does not. These impulses and desires have nothing to do with homophobia. Bisexuality sits outside their criteria for sexual stimulation, nothing more than that.

If they dont want to associate with bisexuals or treat them equally then you'd have a case, but that's not what's being discussed here.

_Redzer_

Lou.m wrote: »

A lot of women are off put by it sexually. A lot of lesbians are putt off by bi girls sexually. I am a bi girl. It is generally harder to pick up girls than guys anyway. I have only been with two girls. Girls are hard work. Their worth it though!

Yeah guys like the idea of their girl with another girl...they don't get the female gay world though...It's extra female its all about monogamy....and ostracizing the cute bi girl! :mad: The reverse is not true girls don't like the idea of their guy with another guy it is not sexy, to them. It is not an image you would like in your head while you were kissing him.

The second girl I was with wanted my FB password after two weeks! She was hot though! It was a long time ago I know better now!


For me It would depend on the guy I would accept him for who he was, but it is not exactly something would want to think about it would not be a point of attraction. For some women it's a deal breaker. I would accept it as part of who he was. I would imagine most women are the same. Them not wanting to have sex with you does not mean they are bi phobic.

It is easier to pick up guys than girls ...waaaay easier.

By the way the phrase is bi-phobia. If someone was not into dating me because I was bi i would just move on better to know now. And I am always into monogamy by the way. And not wanting to date a bi person does not make you bi phobic. Thinking they are morally wrong and should not get married to someone of the same gender or saying they should just choose does though.

Girls aren't always put off by the idea of two guys, though.

I brought up this conversation before to some women friends and they initially didn't fancy it, but only because they have this sex and the city idea of really feminine guys going at it, instead of the more common, average gay man who's no different or less masculine than their own boyfriends. Once that hit, they reevaluated their ideas a bit and started to come on to the idea of two fit masculine lads going at it.

Of course some women will always be put off it, and I don't get why, it's just the way it is. I get interested in all sorts, like two men, two women and a man and a woman. It's all hot to me.

I was out last year and on two occasions the girl got really turned on to me getting off with lads, well I helped sell the idea and sexualise it a fair bit.

I nearly pulled one girl and her boyfriend before she chickened out. Well in fairness to her, I'd more interest and planned for the boyfriend than her

conorhal

RWCNT wrote: »

Strangely the few times it's came up in conversation the girl in question has found my bisexuality a turn-on, I'm unsure if these girls were bi themselves now. Worth noting that I'm very straight-acting though.

Also, it's fine to not be into camp personalities, not a fan myself. However, if the thought of someone being bisexual in general puts you off then you're obviously homophobic to a degree.

I suspect that those girls were delighted that for once a threesome might have something it for them and they wouldn't have to 'faux lez' it up for some horny boyfriends gratification even though they weren't into women?

TwoShedsJackson

Tilly wrote: »

I went out with a guy years ago who told me he sucked his mate off and enjoyed it. It was so off putting that i called it a day. And that's coming from a girl who has 3 gay mates so i'm not homophobic. Just not into the taste of cock off my blokes mouth :P

The taste of cock is irremovable then is it? Washing didn't help?

whirlpool

Everyone who gave the OP an actual response- didn't your mommas tell you to never feed the trolls?

LOOK AT THE POST COUNT, PEOPLE!

Jeeze.

whirlpool

Tilly wrote: »

I went out with a guy years ago who told me he sucked his mate off and enjoyed it. It was so off putting that i called it a day. And that's coming from a girl who has 3 gay mates so i'm not homophobic. Just not into the taste of cock off my blokes mouth :P

Philo Beddoe wrote: »

I take it you'd never sucked any cocks before you met him? Or indeed after?

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

The taste of cock is irremovable then is it? Washing didn't help?

She didn't say she doesn't like the taste in her mouth, she said she doesn't want her boyfriend to have it in his! Sounds pretty reasonable to me!!

fleet_admiral

I used to be buysexual but it cost me a fortune

jimgoose

Next time, suggest an extravaganza with a double-sided strap-on the size of a tower crane operator's Thermos. They'll be so intrigued you'll be batin' 'em off with a shtick. Two shticks, even. :cool:

Tarzana

OneArt wrote: »

That doesn't make them homophobic. A lot of people don't feel comfortable dating bisexuals for a myriad of reasons. You can choose who you can refuse to go out with, so they are well within their rights.

That said, I date both genders (when I'm in a dating mood, I'm pretty asexual most of the time). I can understand where these people are coming from, though I don't necessarily agree with it. It's often due to this that I prefer to date bisexual people, whether men or women. Even gay men tend to be somewhat iffy if you're into girls as well (in my experience).

While it can be frustrating for people like us, you've just got to choose whom you date/pick up a little more wisely. I prefer other bisexual people because we have a similar outlook in this regard, but I wouldn't rule out having a totally straight/gay partner either.

This is really interesting to read.

I think the assumption of many fully straight* or fully homosexual* people is that bisexual people have all the fun and are spoiled for choice. So it's interesting to hear that it can restrict a person in ways.

* I'm aware of that scale where most people are on a spectrum but for many of us, we're basically for all practical purposes at one end of the scale of the other.

Balmed Out

From a relationship perspective it does seem to me that insecurities could arise when dating a bisexual person that youre partner may miss playing for the other team so I think its perfectly understandable. However in the case of a shift in a nightclub (where you dont want it to go anywhere else anyhow) kind of thing I think there's gotta be a biteen of homophobia.

RWCNT

KingOfFairview wrote: »

No it doesn't

It does so. Explain your viewpoint.

I Am Pie wrote: »

Sexuality / identity are defined by the individual, if bisexuality turns someone off it is because it turns them off. For some people it's the opposite, it has nothing to do with preducial behaviour in relation to someone's identity or sexuality it has to do with what stimulates them and what does not. These impulses and desires have nothing to do with homophobia. Bisexuality sits outside their criteria for sexual stimulation, nothing more than that.

I can see where you're coming from but I disagree. I don't understand how someone being attracted to both sexes could be off-putting to anyone unless it's the idea of the homosexual activity that's putting them off.

New Cork Lad wrote: »

So if I, a straight man will not have sex with a homosexual because its not my cup of tea I must obviously be homophobic to a degree.

Didn't say anything like that, silly.

I think my choice of the word "homophobic" is too extreme and has people getting defensive. I know people who fully believe in equal rights and respect for everyone, but due to their social conditioning growing up would not be comfortable with seeing two men kiss in public, for example. It's more of an internalised thing than any thoughts or beliefs they have themselves. Is there a word for this? I mean like that.

kylith

Balmed Out wrote: »

From a relationship perspective it does seem to me that insecurities could arise when dating a bisexual person that youre partner may miss playing for the other team so I think its perfectly understandable. However in the case of a shift in a nightclub (where you dont want it to go anywhere else anyhow) kind of thing I think there's gotta be a biteen of homophobia.

Why would someone even tell someone in a club though? If you're just looking for a snog/ONS why would you bother telling someone you're bi?

Balmed Out

kylith wrote: »

Why would someone even tell someone in a club though? If you're just looking for a snog/ONS why would you bother telling someone you're bi?

Who knows, maybe their a friend of a friend kind of thing and not a complete stranger. Still though is it not a bit homophobic?

Bravobabe

Tilly wrote: »

I went out with a guy years ago who told me he sucked his mate off and enjoyed it. It was so off putting that i called it a day. And that's coming from a girl who has 3 gay mates so i'm not homophobic. Just not into the taste of cock off my blokes mouth :P

Just off the mouth then?:eek::D:o (sorry I couldn't resist)

conorhal

RWCNT wrote: »

It does so. Explain your viewpoint.

I can see where you're coming from but I disagree. I don't understand how someone being attracted to both sexes could be off-putting to anyone unless it's the idea of the homosexual activity that's putting them off.

So if a gay man isn't eager to date a bisexual man because the thought of his boyfriend pounding vag is 'icky' is he heterophobic?

RWCNT

conorhal wrote: »

So if a gay man isn't eager to date a bisexual man because the thought of his boyfriend pounding vag is 'icky' is he heterophobic?

I don't really like the term "Heterophobia" since it only ever seems to be used by anti-LGBT types to talk about how their rights are being taken away, but I would think the gay man in question has some form of prejudice to bisexuals.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Noobascious wrote: »

..while I can traipse down to the George and scab a smoke and end up in some guys apartment, the same cannot be said about women.

"Pussy costs money.. dick is free".

jimgoose

conorhal wrote: »

So if a gay man isn't eager to date a bisexual man because the thought of his boyfriend pounding vag is 'icky' is he heterophobic?

I don't think it's as simple as that, chief. We'd all prefer if our OHs weren't pounding/being-pounded-by anything beyond the offside marker. And some people are simply "one-or-the-other-but-not-both" types. I certainly don't think that dating/relationship preferences can fairly be considered any kind of prejudice, though.

_Redzer_

conorhal wrote: »

So if a gay man isn't eager to date a bisexual man because the thought of his boyfriend pounding vag is 'icky' is he heterophobic?

I've never met a gay man who thought that.

The only thing I've heard from gay men that sometimes makes them apprehensive to going out with bisexual people is not being able to give them enough and they might be wanted to get with a woman.

If you've no hang ups about sex, gay or straight, you're not going to be bothered by it. I'm gay and I wouldn't think anything of dating a bi man.