can i complain

LegacyUser

Ok so was in work today and was having a joke with a supervisor and I told her how I had seen her da earlier (i don't know him,not even to see) another guy pointed him out and said that's such and suchs da the mad with the Ronnie. Now I just said to her that's how he was described. Then she turned around and said well at least he doesn't go around beating his women up. It was directed at me about my fathers past which I feel was completly out of order as I hadn't said anything malicious about her.

At the time she left laughing, and a work mate looked at me stunned to see how I'd react, that was literally as I was leaving work. But I'm not sure what to do, advice anyone?

whippet

guest198484 wrote: »

Ok so was in work today and was having a joke with a supervisor and I told her how I had seen her da earlier (i don't know him,not even to see) another guy pointed him out and said that's such and suchs da the mad with the Ronnie. Now I just said to her that's how he was described. Then she turned around and said well at least he doesn't go around beating his women up. It was directed at me about my fathers past which I feel was completly out of order as I hadn't said anything malicious about her.

At the time she left laughing, and a work mate looked at me stunned to see how I'd react, that was literally as I was leaving work. But I'm not sure what to do, advice anyone?

personally if i were you .. i'd leave it right there. You made a comment about another person's family with no idea of how it might be construed or how insulted the person might be by your comment and are no upset by the response.

If you are capable of using loose language about other peoples families you should be capable of listening to insulting language about yours.

LegacyUser

As I said already I only told her how he was described as in I repeated what the other guy said. Don't get me
wrong I can give and take jokes anyways but shouting my families business so the whole factory can hear is not a joke.


I usually get along with her but last year I had to get her brought in for similar sort of behaviour. I would rather leave it as when things like this get reported nothing really happens or changes anyways.

Mrs OBumble

guest198484 wrote: »

As I said already I only told her how he was described as in I repeated what the other guy said. .

You chose to repeat an allegation. You could have chosen differently, but you didn't.

I'd second leaving it alone, and watching your own mouth in future.

Unless her statement was libelous. But I'm not picking that up from your post.

LegacyUser

Well her statement to me wasn't exactly the truth she was repeating something she heard,
I will leave it but if she keeps that up and repeating it surely I can do something with management, I will get snide remarks like " that shut you up didn't it" it's the kind of crap I got last year.

Thankss for advice guys, but I don't think I "reapeated and allegation" as it was put there, I just said I seen your da earlier another guy pointed him out as the guy with the Ronnie. Now I don't see how that would be offensive to anyone? But I will take advice and watch exactly what I say in future.

Also funny thing is if I were to report it I'd be reporting it to the boss who the supervisor in question told me he used to beat his ex. But that's neither here nor there.

davo10

So you repeated something you heard to her, she took offence, in response she repeated something she heard to you, you took offence, now you want to go reporting her?. Next time you keep your gob shut and she won't tell people what she heard. If what she said is untrue, sue her but you are not exactly denying it.

tenifan

guest198484 wrote: »

Also funny thing is if I were to report it I'd be reporting it to the boss who the supervisor in question told me he used to beat his ex. But that's neither here nor there.

Sounds like there's a lot of gossips in your place. You'd do well to keep out of the gossip and just concentrate on your job.

Ash.J.Williams

guest198484 wrote: »

As I said already I only told her how he was described as in I repeated what the other guy said. Don't get me
wrong I can give and take jokes anyways but shouting my families business so the whole factory can hear is not a joke.


I usually get along with her but last year I had to get her brought in for similar sort of behaviour. I would rather leave it as when things like this get reported nothing really happens or changes anyways.

are you a button pusher?

LegacyUser

I reported her last year others got reported not by me though it went UN punished but she realised she was wrong she she apologised.

I didn't say anything offensive. Nor did I laugh when I said it.
I cannot confirm or deny if she said its true, I haven't had contact with him for some time but I certainly don't want my character tarnished or damaged due to her making statements That aren't facts.

And don't say she or her father were damaged because someone pointed out he has a moustache?

Nody

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InReality

What does the mad one with ronnie mean ?

Mrs OBumble

InReality wrote: »

What does the mad one with ronnie mean ?

The OP seems to think it means has a moustache.

Personally I interpreted it as the man was drunk. No idea why, that's just what I assumed it meant.

All the more reason for not repeating it.

Ash.J.Williams

a ronnie is a feeble attempt at a mustache by a Shell suit wearing skanger from tallaght in the mid 90's, no offense to tallaght, but in the mid 90's tallaght was ronnietown!


like this!
r.jpg

Martin567

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP seems to think it means has a moustache.

Personally I interpreted it as the man was drunk. No idea why, that's just what I assumed it meant.

All the more reason for not repeating it.

In fairness, that's a fairly bizarre misinterpretation. I would have assumed "ronnie" was a very well known slang term for a moustache.

Reading the thread, I couldn't understand why the OP wasn't getting a bit more support as the supervisor seemed to take offence for no reason. I'm guessing "mad" in the first post was also a typo and it should have read "man".

Luke92

So op says someone pointed her father out and said "that's her da the guy with the Ronnie". I'm sure he has a moustache of some sort, so how could she be so offended to say that about his father. And as the op has pointed out it was hear say about his father.

She was totally out of line here and I don't see everyone's problem with the op. He done nothing wrong.

Rochester

You should all grow up and do what you are paid to do.

Kettleson

"Can I complain?"

Why yes, of course you can. But It'll make you look like a right Ronnie.

davo10

Martin567 wrote: »

In fairness, that's a fairly bizarre misinterpretation. I would have assumed "ronnie" was a very well known slang term for a moustache.

Reading the thread, I couldn't understand why the OP wasn't getting a bit more support as the supervisor seemed to take offence for no reason. I'm guessing "mad" in the first post was also a typo and it should have read "man".

Take a look at OPs second post, they have had previous incidents where he had her "brought up". If your friend makes this type of remark you might laugh, if someone you don't like or someone you've had a problem with before makes it, it can be interpreted as him being smart, snide and with an insulting undertone. Either way they are not friends and you don't make comments about a colleagues family, they were both wrong but OP was no more or less blameless than the supervisor so most think he has no reason to complain.

LegacyUser

Hi sorry in my first post it was a typo I meant to say lad not mad.
At least I'm not the only one thinking she was out of line.
Anyways last few days its became apparent she isn't talking to me so I'm assuming she feels bad for it?

LegacyUser

Davo I also said we had a problem last year where she apologised and we had been getting on since then.

It also wasn't that I said anything about her family member I TOLD her what my work mate had said and he was beside me at the time so it wasn't my opinion on him

seannash

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP seems to think it means has a moustache.

Personally I interpreted it as the man was drunk. No idea why, that's just what I assumed it meant.

All the more reason for not repeating it.

Well if you think its a drunk thats simply you being misinformed and somewhat out of touch with society. Everybody and there dog "should" know that a ronnie is a moustache.
How the hell did you think it was a drunk????

seannash

davo10 wrote: »

If your friend makes this type of remark you might laugh, if someone you don't like or someone you've had a problem with before makes it, it can be interpreted as him being smart, snide and with an insulting undertone.

She said your dad is the fella with the moustache. She could have said the fella with a beard,bald,red hair if he had any of those things.
All of which no one in there right mind would be offended by.

seannash

guest198484 wrote: »

Thankss for advice guys, but I don't think I "reapeated and allegation" as it was put there, I just said I seen your da earlier another guy pointed him out as the guy with the Ronnie. Now I don't see how that would be offensive to anyone? But I will take advice and watch exactly what I say in future.

Its not offensive, your 100% correct its not offensive. The people who are saying it is offensive are being completely ridiculous.

I'd say it to the boss that you didn't appreciate what she said about your father after you said you saw her dad. No need to go any higher or further than that.

davo10

seannash wrote: »

I'd say it to the boss that you didn't appreciate what she said about your father after you said you saw her dad. No need to go any higher or further than that.

I think most posters are responding to the thread title "can I complain"?. You are right, there is no need to take it further, but in future, OP should not make any reference about colleague's family members, it he does, then he should be prepared to accept them commenting on his. OP isn't exactly refuting the accuracy of the comment made about his Dad so his supervisor may not have been too far wide of the mark.

blindsider

tenifan wrote: »

Sounds like there's a lot of gossips in your place. You'd do well to keep out of the gossip and just concentrate on your job.

+1

Best advice on this thread!

LegacyUser

I have already said on this thread that it wasn't the truth what she said, but it's not the point the truth or not its nothing you go saying to anyone. If it were the truth it would probably be worse.

The point of me asking can I complain is I don't want to be in work and having someone say stuff like that coz they may have heard something and feel down or bad in case others believed it.

Anyways today befor work the guy who pointed the da out starts saying to her that's not on what you said You said to him as he didn't say anything bad. ( didn't ask him to nor did I want him to but he done it and I just ignored it). She said more smart things but I didn't hear what she said.

Martin567

davo10 wrote: »

I think most posters are responding to the thread title "can I complain"?. You are right, there is no need to take it further, but in future, OP should not make any reference about colleague's family members, it he does, then he should be prepared to accept them commenting on his. OP isn't exactly refuting the accuracy of the comment made about his Dad so his supervisor may not have been too far wide of the mark.

This is my final say on this since it's nothing to do with me anyway! But it does seem as though the whole thing hinges on the fact that some people apparently don't know that a ronnie is a slang term for moustache.

The way I read the initial post is as follows:

OP: "I saw your Dad the other night. I don't know him to see him but my friend pointed him out as being the man with the moustache".

Supervisor: "Well at least he doesn't beat up women like your father!"

I don't know how anyone could consider these statements as being similar. One is utterly inoffensive while the other is downright nasty.

tenifan

guest198484 wrote: »

I have already said on this thread that it wasn't the truth what she said, but it's not the point the truth or not its nothing you go saying to anyone. If it were the truth it would probably be worse.

The point of me asking can I complain is I don't want to be in work and having someone say stuff like that coz they may have heard something and feel down or bad in case others believed it.

Anyways today befor work the guy who pointed the da out starts saying to her that's not on what you said You said to him as he didn't say anything bad. ( didn't ask him to nor did I want him to but he done it and I just ignored it). She said more smart things but I didn't hear what she said.

aw here. don't act like a clown and grow up. you;re working with a silly bitch. the doesn't couteract the fact that currently you're working with a silly bastard,,.. still, grow up

the_syco

guest198484 wrote: »

Ok so was in work today and was having a joke with a supervisor and I told her how I had seen her da earlier (i don't know him,not even to see) another guy pointed him out and said that's such and suchs da the mad with the Ronnie.

guest198484 wrote: »

Now I just said to her that's how he was described. Then she turned around and said well at least he doesn't go around beating his women up.

Don't give a slagging if you can't take a slagging. Also, unless she said "like your da", she could have been referring to anyone.

guest198484 wrote: »

Well her statement to me wasn't exactly the truth she was repeating something she heard

Have you considered what you said may not have been taken lightly? As your statement about the "ronnie" was second or third hand info, it may also be a complete lie.

guest198484 wrote: »

I reported her last year others got reported not by me though it went UN punished but she realised she was wrong she she apologised.

Have you considered management may have witnessed you mouthing off at her first?

guest198484 wrote: »

I didn't say anything offensive.

And if the "beating" comment wasn't directed at you, but rather at the stereotype of the men who had "ronnies", neither did she.

guest198484 wrote: »

I haven't had contact with him for some time but I certainly don't want my character tarnished or damaged due to her making statements That aren't facts.

guest198484 wrote: »

And don't say she or her father were damaged because someone pointed out he has a moustache?

But you did not say "moustache", you said "ronnie". "Ronnie" can mean a vicious/dangerous man, or someone you have to watch out for. Depending how she picked it up, she may have heard you calling her father a complete and utter scumbag.

guest198484 wrote: »

Anyways last few days its became apparent she isn't talking to me so I'm assuming she feels bad for it?

She could be avoiding you as you seem to get upset when the banter doesn't go your way.

LegacyUser

the_syco wrote: »

Don't give a slagging if you can't take a slagging. Also, unless she said "like your da", she could have been referring to anyone.


Have you considered what you said may not have been taken lightly? As your statement about the "ronnie" was second or third hand info, it may also be a complete lie.


Have you considered management may have witnessed you mouthing off at her first?


And if the "beating" comment wasn't directed at you, but rather at the stereotype of the men who had "ronnies", neither did she.




But you did not say "moustache", you said "ronnie". "Ronnie" can mean a vicious/dangerous man, or someone you have to watch out for. Depending how she picked it up, she may have heard you calling her father a complete and utter scumbag.


She could be avoiding you as you seem to get upset when the banter doesn't go your way.

She 100% directed it at me as she got second or third hand info about a situation that wasn't anything to do with her. Which wasn't the truth. Lads in work said to her you shouldn't be sayin that to people, and her reply was well it's the truth isn't it. As matter of fact it isn't the truth.

Also I was not mouthing off at all, I said Ronnie as that was what was said to me I wasn't slagging her in any way shape or form
I was only saying to her what the guy standing next to me said. So if anything she could of said anything to him but chose to make a sly dig about something she thought she knew about which was a false statement.

What she was was not banter what so ever anyways

LegacyUser

How is what she said called banter? It's malicious and there was no need for it.
You are basing me being unhappy with what she said as I don't like when banter isnt going going my way on one instance? Believe me there are many other things I could put up if that was the case (not from her)

Also no one overheard me mouthing off to anyone I don't know where you got that from?

LegacyUser

Also her comments were 100% directed at me/my father, as when the guy in work said to her that's not something you should say to someone, she said "well it's the truth" it's not the truth she twisted something she heard and tried to make it a fact.

Again it wasn't my opinion about his moustache or Ronnie. I repeated to her what the guy standing beside me had said so if it upset her she could of said nasty things to him. Also again I say I didn't say it to her to slag her or in a jokey way anyways.