How I was cured from severe suicidal depression, chronic anxiety and stress

ilovebiology

Hi everyone,

I have decided to share how I have been cured from severe suicidal depression, chronic stress and anxiety, as it is a huge issue in Ireland, and I thought that maybe what I write here might help someone else, or help someone you know who has really bad depression, chronic stress or anxiety issues.

The past few years have been the worst of my life, as you can read in some of my previous posts. I finished my lawsuit, and was left with severe depression and anxiety. My doctor was aware of how unwell I was, and there are two routes for treatment - either the public mental health services, or if you go privately.

I attended the public mental health clinic for a long time, and was getting absolutely no where. I was becoming more and more ill, was telling them, and I don't think the psychiatrist was even listening, just writing out my prescription, and telling me to come back in 3 months. That was all I was ever told, and without ANY regard for my health that was the extent of the "Treatment" I got from the mental health clinic where I was treated.

Now, to be clear, I am sure that out there, there are mental health clinic's who do marvellous work, and do help someone who is crippled with depression and anxiety, and I commend them fully. It was the mental health clinic I had to attend was absolutely horrendous.

I attempted suicide, as I really was locked in a terrible state with depression, and unable to function whatsoever as a normal human being. I had to see the psychiatrist the following week at the mental health clinic. I told them about my suicide attempt, and I really begged the psychiatrist for help. She told me to attend the "Day hospital" service they had. When I asked her what that consisted of, she ignored me, walked over to the door, and said I was loads of patients to see today. I asked her a number of times what it entailed, and she just wouldn't tell me, she really was a horrible doctor.

I asked her when would I have to come back to see her again, she said go to the reception, the girl will give you a date. Again, as I was in such a bad state, I also asked her if I could be given a prescription for anxiety medication, which again she refused as she always had. The girl at the reception told me the doctor would give me a date, and I had to tell her the doctor told me that she would give me a date. I asked the girl at reception about the day hospital and what it involved, and she said I would be sent a letter.

Guess what? I never got any letter in the post, and that was the extent of the "Treatment" I got from my mental health clinic after me attempting suicide, and in a severely bad state. Just so you know, with my suicide attempt, I really wanted to end my life, but unfortunately I was unsuccessful.

About 3 weeks later, I tried to end my life again by slitting my wrists. Again, it didn't work. I felt so crap in myself that I couldn't even kill myself! I went back to my doctor, and begged him for help. Someone had a talk with my doctor I believe, as when I went back to my doctor (My GP) he was completely different, and saw the serious state I was in, and needed urgent help. I asked him for anxiety medication, and he finally gave me a prescription for it, and before he wouldn't, and neither would the psychiatrist in the mental health clinic. Anything I asked him for that day, he gave it to me, and for once was actually helping me, and recognising the state I was in.

He sent me to see a private psychiatrist, who I saw in less than a week - which I was amazed at. The day I was in at my GP, he also composed my medical history, and what I had to endure the past few years, and composed what was 6 pages about me, and faxed it to the psychiatrist I saw a week later, which I was amazed that he did all of that in the same day for me.

The psychiatrist I went to see was fantastic. He listened to me, and asked me questions, and told me I needed to be admitted to hospital. He said I had severe suicidal depression, chronic anxiety, and hospital was the best place for me. I was admitted less than 2 weeks later.

The hospital I was admitted to was a private one, but was lovely, and every member of staff right down to the cleaning staff were just lovely. There was a team assigned to me, to assess me, and to develop a treatment plan specific to the illnesses I had. Again, I was told I had suicidal depression, chronic anxiety and stress, PTSD, and two other mental illnesses which I won't disclose here. All the illnesses were as a direct result of what I suffered with the past few years.

I got incredible help and support from the nurses and the team that was assigned to me. They were so understanding, kind, and empathetic. The patients also helped, as we were all ill, and all understood the illness, and what it is like, as it is absolute hell. The nurses and the team, helped me every day with getting into a routine, getting up every morning, having a shower, putting on my clothes, having breakfast, attending the therapy every day, with which I learned an awful lot, and really helped me. The nurses and doctors made me understand how important keeping the daily routine is, as well as eating proper healthy meals too. Now, I have to say, getting into all of this was EXTREMELY difficult for me, and is for anyone who is extremely depressed, as you are so ill that you don't want to do anything, or see the point in doing anything. For anyone who has a loved one, or knows of someone who has depression, it is vitally important that you can understand this is extremely difficult for a depressed person, and in order to help the person getting into this routine, you need to give the depressed person an AWFUL LOT of understanding, patience, and also with alot of love. Its is very difficult for the depressed person, but I can understand this is very difficult for a family member trying to do for a depressed person, but if you help them get into this routine, and give the depressed person love, understanding, and to have patience with them, it will help the depressed person a HUGE amount.

To anyone reading this who is severely depressed, I have gone through this - getting into this routine every day, and it is really really difficult, but it is so worth all the difficulty, and I GUARANTEE you, it will help you along, and will make you feel better.

Some of the therapy also involved mindfulness, and meditation - breathing in slowly for a few seconds, and breathing out for a few seconds. The meditation also involved doing a "Body scan" type of meditation, which involved paying attention to specific parts of the body, and just getting them to relax. Now, I'll be honest, for me, and how ill I was, I tried the meditation as hard as I could, and did my very best with it, but I found it didn't help me in the slightest! Mindfulness is alot about being aware of yourself, how you are feeling, acknowledging it, and asking yourself what can I do to make myself feel better? The therapists and doctors told me a number of times to find something that can make me feel better. Examples would be talking to your best friend, a family member, a pet, or a hobby I once did that made me feel good. An important one I was also told, was to remember times in my life when I was very happy, and to remember what I was doing in my life that made me so happy, and I found that to be useful in what I needed to do.

I identified one or two things that were a constant that I could turn to in times when I was severely anxious, and extremely down, but as a patient these things still did not kill how terrible I would be feeling when I was very anxious, or very down.

My medication was changed, and I went through the weaning off an antidepressant which is like feeling severely suicidal for about a week, or like I went into crying spells for hours! It was just awful. I was put on another antidepressant, and hoped and prayed it would help me. After 3 to 4 weeks, I felt I had gained weight! I was weighed, and couldn't believe what I weighed! I had gained almost a stone from being on the new antidepressant! It increased my appetite, but also gave me cravings for sweet things which caused the weight gain. At this stage after weeks in hospital, I was beginning to become normalised with the daily routine, but its very difficult, and I do feel better, and I guarantee anyone with severe depression reading this, getting into the daily routine will help alot, its very difficult at the start, but with help and support you will get there, and get used of it.

Anyways! Back to my weight gain! I straight away said I would start going to the gym. I spoke to my doctor and said all the anti depressant was doing was making me gain weight, and I didn't feel any better, this was after being on it for weeks. She took me off it, and put me on a different antidepressant. The 1st and 2nd time I went into the gym, all I was concerned about was losing weight. Then one of the nurses, changed my life, and changed the illnesses I had and said to me very strongly, but kindly, she said that to give the gym a good shot, and to go to it a few times. After the 4th or 5th time in the gym, I woke up the following day and I felt great, really good. I was amazed! I went to the gym two days later again, and again the following day I felt great. After the 4th and 5th time, I noticed that after doing the exercise that my feeling good buzz lasted for about a day and a half, and then I went back to feeling like crap again. So I went back to the gym again, and felt good again!

My antidepressant I am still waiting to see if it will work, but what works for me is EXERCISE. I have found that the more severely depressed that you are, you will need to do exercise for 40 to 50 minutes at a time. What worked for me, and I'm sure will work for most people is that I just used the treadmill. I am power walking for 70 minutes, on the treadmill, and it is this exercise that has changed my life. I have learned that I have to keep going to the gym every 2 days to keep myself feeling good, and feeling happy, and when you feel like that, you feel like doing things, or getting out and about.

The doctors encouraged exercise with us, but it was what the nurse said to me that really made me get myself into the gym. She said I GUARANTEE that you will feel better, and after my 4th or 5th time, I was feeling really good for the first time in a long time. I have to keep going to the gym every 2 days or so on the treadmill, power walking to keep depression, and chronic stress at bay!

I got alot of help with anxiety too from the therapy I attended, and if anyone wants to know I can share some details - I hope that would be ok with boards.

I have done some reading about meditation, and I am not dismissing it at all, as for some depressed patients its does work, but what about the patients that it doesn't work for? What alternative do they have? The great thing about exercise is that it works for everyone, wheras meditation might only work for some people.

So doing the basics like I had to do, and once I was getting into my daily routine, only by accident did I decide to go to the gym, but found that exercise is the cure to my suicidal depression, and is keeping it away. The key is to keep up the exercise, and that will kill depression for many people.

I hope this will help someone out there reading this, or if you know someone who is severely depressed. If anyone has any further remedies which killed their depression, by all means feel free to include it. I believe the more that can help a depressed person, the better.

Thanks you all.

Chance The Rapper

Fair play . Keep it up. I hope things stay positive for you :-)

ilovebiology

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:ZPamif6VM0QJ:www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/25-studies-confirm-exercise-prevents-depression+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ie

http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/managing-anxiety/exercise-stress-and-anxiety

Some links, which I hope will help someone.

magentis

Cheers ilovebiology that was a great post.
Is the hospital you attended st pats by any chance?

ilovebiology

magentis wrote: »

Cheers ilovebiology that was a great post.
Is the hospital you attended st pats by any chance?

No, I was in another hospital. You can PM me if you like.

fedor.2.

For the last couple of days, all I've read are awful news stories, it was great to read such a positive one. I'm really glad things are going good for you.

Good luck for the future.

ilovebiology

Also, support and understanding are essential to helping someone with depression. You need to give a depressed person alot of patience, and alot of love and support. This really helped me, and from other patients I have known it really helps them too.

Support from family and friends is very important. I was also told to try and interact with people every day, meeting friends, and to get out and about as much as I can, which I am keeping up, and will have to keep up. Its extremely difficult being absolutely rock bottom, and at the start of this "Journey of recovery" is so very difficult, but believe me, if I somehow managed to get through it, another severely depressed person can too.

Getting into the daily routine to start with, and do this on a gradual basis, as a depressed person can do very very little. That's where alot of understanding, patience, and alot of love from others helps a depressed person so much. Once you are used of the daily routine, you can build on it, and I would say to try exercise next. Once you have been to the gym a few times, you WILL start to feel good, amazingly good, and a depressed person will do absolutely anything to feel good, and exercise is the key. You also sleep better with exercise as well.

Sorry I have gone on alot!

Greenmachine

Thanks for posting op.

gctest50

Its great to hear you're improving but this is well dodgy advice :

ilovebiology wrote: »

......but believe me, if I somehow managed to get through it, another severely depressed person can too.
!

Their "rock bottom" could be way way lower than your "rock bottom"

ilovebiology wrote: »

Its extremely difficult being absolutely rock bottom, and at the start of this "Journey of recovery" is so very difficult

and then they may not fail at suicide

I attempted suicide, as I really was locked in a terrible state with depression, and unable to function whatsoever as a normal human being. I had to see the psychiatrist the following week at the mental health clinic. I told them about my suicide attempt, and I really begged the psychiatrist for help.

ilovebiology

gctest50 wrote: »

Its great to hear you're improving but this is well dodgy advice :



Their "rock bottom" could be way way lower than your "rock bottom"



and then they may not fail at suicide

I was severely severely depressed. The hospital I went into made severely depressed people better within 5 to 6 weeks. I was kept in alot longer as I was alot worse than most, and was kept in for almost 3 months.

I was as rock bottom as you can imagine, and I mean really really rock bottom. The doctors in the hospital even said I was one of the illest patients they ever had, so I hope that could give you an idea.

PizzamanIRL

Great story. Fair play, onwards and upwards now.

Supercell

It took a lot of bravery to post that, fair play and best of luck in your new healthy happier life

Lucifer MorningStar

Thanks for sharing your story OP

ilovebiology

Supercell wrote: »

It took a lot of bravery to post that, fair play and best of luck in your new healthy happier life

Thank you.

The reason I posted it was entirely to try and help someone else with severe depression, but also what others could do with someone with depression. Sorry it is so long, I just hope it might help someone, as I would have done anything to have got some help a few months ago myself.

Galway K9

Great story similar to mine too. The mindfulness and meditation did it for me. Also power of now.

snollup

Well done OP.

I am in my 3rd week out of St. John of Gods hospital myself and making steady progress, returned to work today after a number of months out.

I absolutely agree that exercise can have a massive impact on mood.

Mindfulness has played a large part in maintaining my mood. However, when I was really bad mindfulness was next to impossible for me. For me I had to reach a certain stage before I could practise it. Now that your mood has stabilized somewhat it might be worth giving it another bash.

Anyway, I'm delighted your recovery is going so well. Keep up the good work.

J.

LostBoy101

Thanks for sharing with us and I wish you well for the forseeable future.

looking_around

There are some terrible health clinics, and in my experience psychiatrists are worthless. (I have no experience with private pyshcs, and when I was desperate I actually asked my doc about a private psych and he looked at me and said "if you find a name that someone recommends, no bother, the ones I know, aren't worth seeing at all."
That doc was fantastic mind, saw me daily for the first 2 weeks on an anti-d. And weekly after for months.
A good GP is all you need, for meds, outside of that then, a therapist, and psych nurse for support. No need for a psychiatrist when it's the GP who'll adjust the meds anyway.)

As for the exercise. It does work for most people.
But for others like myself, it can actually be negative. I would never guarantee something will help, to anyone.
I became very obsessive with exercise, and it never lessened my depression, it did however help for anxiety. But I think that's because anxiety builds up adrenaline and exercise helps burn that tension off .

Well done with the staying motivated and exercising. Getting started is always the hardest part.

vitani

Thanks for sharing OP and happy to hear you've found something that works for you. I took up running last year and I've definitely noticed that it helps keep my mood positive.

Stay well and make sure you come back to this thread if things get on top of you in the future - it'll be great for you to have this reminder that depression is something you can beat and have beaten before.

ilovebiology

looking_around wrote: »

There are some terrible health clinics, and in my experience psychiatrists are worthless. (I have no experience with private pyshcs, and when I was desperate I actually asked my doc about a private psych and he looked at me and said "if you find a name that someone recommends, no bother, the ones I know, aren't worth seeing at all."
That doc was fantastic mind, saw me daily for the first 2 weeks on an anti-d. And weekly after for months.
A good GP is all you need, for meds, outside of that then, a therapist, and psych nurse for support. No need for a psychiatrist when it's the GP who'll adjust the meds anyway.)

As for the exercise. It does work for most people.
But for others like myself, it can actually be negative. I would never guarantee something will help, to anyone.
I became very obsessive with exercise, and it never lessened my depression, it did however help for anxiety. But I think that's because anxiety builds up adrenaline and exercise helps burn that tension off .

Well done with the staying motivated and exercising. Getting started is always the hardest part.

Thanks for your comments. And I absolutely agree, finding a good psychiatrist is very difficult, the psychiatrist I deal with is really fantastic, and anyone can PM me if you like. Other patients have all found her very good too.

Different remedies work differently for different people, and I feel that perhaps the level of how depressed someone is.

I mean, if I went out for a walk every day, it would do me absolutely no good, and wouldn't lift my mood at all. I have found that vigorous exercise does work, and to do it for over 40 minutes. I read somewhere that it is after 40 minutes of exercise that endorphins are released, which make a person feel good. I am still ill, but not as ill as I was, and vigorous exercise for 40 minutes or more does work, and it has been scientifically proven that exercise treats depression.

The vigorous exercise is hard going - well its power walking I do for 70 minutes. However, what keeps me going, and motivates me is that I know I will feel really good afterwards, and for a day and a half after. I have to do it every 2 days or so, but its worth it, as anyone with really bad depression will tell you, they would do anything to feel better. Now, I am no expert with this next statement, maybe someone can confirm that the more depressed someone is, they would have to do vigorous exercise? I have seen that with myself anyways.

Shakespeare's Sister

That's brilliant OP - I've had depression too, and mine was mild. But if that's mild, I absolutely shudder at the thought of what severe must be like.
It feels like you'll never get out of that pit, so your story is such a huge glimmer of light and hope, and bound to help people.
Hard work all right (even climbing a stairs let alone going out exercising :eek:) but in this context it's the harder option that makes life easier, and the easier option that makes life harder. Baby steps though.

Meds do help, but talk therapy is so, so important too. Meds alone is like putting a plaster over the wound and leaving it fester away underneath. With talk therapy, it gets to the root of the issues (if needed) but more importantly it helps the patient to think differently, reshape those negative thoughts, recognise the negativity is not necessarily reality, and equips them with coping skills for when life does get difficult.

All the best!

ilovebiology

Magaggie wrote: »

That's brilliant OP - I've had depression too, and mine was mild. But if that's mild, I absolutely shudder at the thought of what severe must be like.
It feels like you'll never get out of that pit, so your story is such a huge glimmer and bound to help people.
Hard work all right (even climbing a stairs let alone going out exercising :eek:) but in this context it's the harder option that makes life easier, and the easier option that makes life harder. Baby steps though.

All the best!

Baby steps is very true. All on a very gradual basis. The daily routine is extremely difficult to get used of, but it is worth it, and does make you feel better. I know what you mean by finding stairs hard to climb, never mind if you had to leave the house and go to the shop, that was so difficult to get up and out, but also having to face people. I used to be shaking.

To me that was like a fear, and with any fear the best way to kill the fear is to keep facing it or doing it over and over again until you get used of it, and it does work. Its the start of doing this, that is the most difficult part.

woodoo

The difference between the public and private treatments seems to be enormous.

rockbeast

Not being glib here at all.

Someone who had a tendency towards depression told me once that they had gotten better at recognising its onset when it was coming.

"When I hear the black dog barking in the distance," she said, "I start to run."

Now her patches are few and far between and don't last that long. Hopefully she stays ahead. Exercise plays a huge part in mental well-being.

looking_around

ilovebiology wrote: »

Thanks for your comments. And I absolutely agree, finding a good psychiatrist is very difficult, the psychiatrist I deal with is really fantastic, and anyone can PM me if you like. Other patients have all found her very good too.

Different remedies work differently for different people, and I feel that perhaps the level of how depressed someone is.

I mean, if I went out for a walk every day, it would do me absolutely no good, and wouldn't lift my mood at all. I have found that vigorous exercise does work, and to do it for over 40 minutes. I read somewhere that it is after 40 minutes of exercise that endorphins are released, which make a person feel good. I am still ill, but not as ill as I was, and vigorous exercise for 40 minutes or more does work, and it has been scientifically proven that exercise treats depression.

The vigorous exercise is hard going - well its power walking I do for 70 minutes. However, what keeps me going, and motivates me is that I know I will feel really good afterwards, and for a day and a half after. I have to do it every 2 days or so, but its worth it, as anyone with really bad depression will tell you, they would do anything to feel better. Now, I am no expert with this next statement, maybe someone can confirm that the more depressed someone is, they would have to do vigorous exercise? I have seen that with myself anyways.

I do alot of mountain biking, it doesn't get more vigorous than that .
But I;ve had days where I burst into tears afterwards and end up focusing on negative thoughts. (Normally when I was already thinking negatively before I started and it's just a bad day. Of course maybe it's different for me, my doc suspects I have a variation of bp where I don't get manic but cycle through ok/very depressed. Perhaps that's the difference? Perhaps it's my past history with an obsession over it too. )

I'm not saying exercise isn't beneficial, but more, if there's someone who reacts the way I do. So they don't feel worse in themselves, something like "this was supposed to work, why am I still miserable/not feeling even slightly better."
So, although it does help most people, and it's worthwhile for many other reasons.
If you can get motivated to exercise it often means you can stay motivated to doing other things which will help lift your mood. But for anyone it doesn't help, don't feel disheartened and don't give up the exercise as it's just one step to keeping you mentally/physically healthy, and it's one step that can make everything else fit together.

ilovebiology

rockbeast wrote: »

Not being glib here at all.

Someone who had a tendency towards depression told me once that they had gotten better at recognising its onset when it was coming.

"When I hear the black dog barking in the distance," she said, "I start to run."

Now her patches are few and far between and don't last that long. Hopefully she stays ahead. Exercise plays a huge part in mental well-being.

I learned this in therapy, about recognising when you are starting to feel down, and to challenge and do something about it immediately. Finding something that makes you feel good is important, or if you are like me, and couldn't find something that could get you out of feeling worse and worse, power walking is what I do.

I also read that exercise that keep depression relapses at bay too.

whiteandlight

looking_around wrote: »

I do alot of mountain biking, it doesn't get more vigorous than that .
But I;ve had days where I burst into tears afterwards and end up focusing on negative thoughts. (Normally when I was already thinking negatively before I started and it's just a bad day. Of course maybe it's different for me, my doc suspects I have a variation of bp where I don't get manic but cycle through ok/very depressed. Perhaps that's the difference? Perhaps it's my past history with an obsession over it too. )

I'm not saying exercise isn't beneficial, but more, if there's someone who reacts the way I do. So they don't feel worse in themselves, something like "this was supposed to work, why am I still miserable/not feeling even slightly better."
So, although it does help most people, and it's worthwhile for many other reasons.
If you can get motivated to exercise it often means you can stay motivated to doing other things which will help lift your mood. But for anyone it doesn't help, don't feel disheartened and don't give up the exercise as it's just one step to keeping you mentally/physically healthy, and it's one step that can make everything else fit together.

I have a close relative who has depression but also anorexia. Exercise is unfortunately just not a possible treatment for her. There are probably others as well where exercise just doesn't work or triggers something else. Its great that it works for some and congrats OP on what is a very tough road to recovery just remember there are reasons when exercise is just not a good thing for someone.

average hero

Great post OP and congratulations on the recovery. I had a rocky go of it for a little while a number of years ago but I totally agree on a number of points.

1) Early to bed and early to rise - go at 10pm and up at 6.30/7. Make it routine as you said.
2) Exercise is fantastic for mental health, as are goals. Like being able to do 1 proper push up. Maybe 5 or then 10.
3) Proper nutrition - the more processed it is, the worse it is for you. Eat as natural as you can and cut out alcohol, fast food, high sugar, caffeine and high salt stuff immediately.

For me what helped too was staying off of social media, there was nothing worse than seeing what 4 or 5 hundred 'friends' were projecting onto social media every day.

Staying social with a number of close friends helped too as did positive podcasts and stuff the likes of Eric Thomas (ET)

Thanks for the read OP.

Congratulations once again.

sunbeam

whiteandlight wrote: »

I have a close relative who has depression but also anorexia. Exercise is unfortunately just not a possible treatment for her. There are probably others as well where exercise just doesn't work or triggers something else. Its great that it works for some and congrats OP on what is a very tough road to recovery just remember there are reasons when exercise is just not a good thing for someone.

Agree with this 100%. I'm delighted that the OP has found something that worked for them. In my case unfortunately, exercise simply does not have a positive effect on my mood and sometimes actually makes me feel worse.

Hotfail.com

Great story OP

LostBoy101 wrote: »

Thanks for sharing with us and I wish you well for the forseeable future.

The forseeable future? :pac: I know it was unintentional but that just made me laugh

ilovebiology

sunbeam wrote: »

Agree with this 100%. I'm delighted that the OP has found something that worked for them. In my case unfortunately, exercise simply does not have a positive effect on my mood and sometimes actually makes me feel worse.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I know how very hard the illness is, I hope you can find something that can help you. Ask your psychiatrist or maybe your GP.

I really hope you will feel better soon. xx

tldr?

Exercise works for depression. *Really* well.

now put that tldr away and go read that first post. OP, well done.

looking_around

whiteandlight wrote: »

I have a close relative who has depression but also anorexia. Exercise is unfortunately just not a possible treatment for her. There are probably others as well where exercise just doesn't work or triggers something else. Its great that it works for some and congrats OP on what is a very tough road to recovery just remember there are reasons when exercise is just not a good thing for someone.

Yeah, it's a slippery slope for me, and if it wasn't for my partner I don't think I could balance it.

We bike together alot which is fantastic, and he's stubborn and if he thinks we've done enough, we've done enough, and that's that :P
best thing for me really as it's taught me to enjoy the exercise for what it is. (in this case biking, for biking, not for exercise..and that has helped, but more in the sense of how having a hobby or something to do helps.)

But if it weren't for him and his support on the bad days, I'd probably have to quit exercise altogether. Or risk going overboard. It's so easy to get obsessive about it. No matter how much you learn and therapy you do, one trigger leads to one day of too much exercise, which leads to another day and another...blah.

The One Doctor

Exercise creates oxytocin, oxytocin makes you feel happy. Lots of other fun things create oxytocin as well btw. Hugs, sex, smiling etc. It's a brilliant hormone.

LynnGrace

Great post OP, delighted to hear things are on the up, sounds like you have been through an awful lot. I think I remember us chatting before on a work related topic.
Thanks for posting such an honest account of what you have been through. Onwards and upwards!

Joaquin223

ilovebiology wrote: »

I attended the public mental health clinic for a long time, and was getting absolutely no where. I was becoming more and more ill, was telling them, and I don't think the psychiatrist was even listening, just writing out my prescription, and telling me to come back in 3 months. That was all I was ever told, and without ANY regard for my health that was the extent of the "Treatment" I got from the mental health clinic where I was treated.

It was the mental health clinic I had to attend was absolutely horrendous.

I attempted suicide, as I really was locked in a terrible state with depression, and unable to function whatsoever as a normal human being. I had to see the psychiatrist the following week at the mental health clinic. I told them about my suicide attempt, and I really begged the psychiatrist for help. She told me to attend the "Day hospital" service they had. When I asked her what that consisted of, she ignored me, walked over to the door, and said I was loads of patients to see today. I asked her a number of times what it entailed, and she just wouldn't tell me, she really was a horrible doctor.

I asked her when would I have to come back to see her again, she said go to the reception, the girl will give you a date. Again, as I was in such a bad state, I also asked her if I could be given a prescription for anxiety medication, which again she refused as she always had. The girl at the reception told me the doctor would give me a date, and I had to tell her the doctor told me that she would give me a date. I asked the girl at reception about the day hospital and what it involved, and she said I would be sent a letter.

Guess what? I never got any letter in the post, and that was the extent of the "Treatment" I got from my mental health clinic after me attempting suicide, and in a severely bad state. Just so you know, with my suicide attempt, I really wanted to end my life, but unfortunately I was unsuccessful.

Unfortunately, these scenarios are depressingly familiar for a good three-quarters of the "mental health professionals" that I've seen. Now, I understand that it isn't the easiest job in the world, but organising the appointment and attending is incredibly difficult for the patient, and expensive. In a fair number of cases, I imagine a good experience during the appointment really is the difference between life and death.

What can be done to prevent it? Is there any way to legitimately complain?

steddyeddy

Thank you for that excellent post.

InReality

Fair play for writing that. I've been thinking for a while that exercise is more beneficial than people realize for depression and anxiety.

whirlpool

Great news, OP.

From my own limited knowledge of things, I truly believe that meditation, exercise and natural diet (each being extremely important) would massively prevent depression and anxiety from ever occurring in the first place. (Disclaimer: obviously with exceptions.)

The Diabolical Monocle

Tl;Dr - gym is good for mental health.

looking_around

Joaquin223 wrote: »

Unfortunately, these scenarios are depressingly familiar to a good three-quarters of the "mental health professionals" that I've seen. Now, I understand that it isn't the easiest job in the world, but organising the appointment and attending is incredibly difficult for the patient, and expensive. In a fair number of cases, I imagine a good experience during the appointment really is the difference between life and death.

What can be done to prevent it? Is there any way to legitimately complain?

There was an awful psychiatrist in a mental health clinic I visited a few years ago, there is a complain box in the clinic itself. Idk if that does much but he was removed a few months later.

zef

I see the 'revolving registrar' in the public clinic every 3 months. They are useless. No insight, or 'care', just a script that they start writing when as soon as you've introduced yourself.
I was seeing a lovely psychologist who helped enormously, till she left due to cuts. The only decent help I have ever been offered for the anxiety and PTSD. Ever.
Op I'm glad you're doing well.
Do you need private health insurance for the help you mentioned?
Because the public one is so depressing.

ilovebiology

zef wrote: »

I see the 'revolving registrar' in the public clinic every 3 months. They are useless. No insight, or 'care', just a script that they start writing when as soon as you've introduced yourself.
I was seeing a lovely psychologist who helped enormously, till she left due to cuts. The only decent help I have ever been offered for the anxiety and PTSD. Ever.
Op I'm glad you're doing well.
Do you need private health insurance for the help you mentioned?
Because the public one is so depressing.

This is exactly the way they were in the mental health clinic I attended too, absolutely horrendously bad. Their level of negligence almost cost me my life, how many other lives have been effected by how useless the mental health clinics are I wonder?

ilovebiology

sunbeam wrote: »

Agree with this 100%. I'm delighted that the OP has found something that worked for them. In my case unfortunately, exercise simply does not have a positive effect on my mood and sometimes actually makes me feel worse.

I'm really sorry to hear this Sunbeam. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd time I went to the gym I felt worse too! I felt so crap that I felt I felt even worse than I did before I went to the gym!

The nurse gave me great advice, and told me to go to the gym a few times, as it would take some time for it to take effect. With that in mind, I went back to the gym, and it was on the 4th or 5th time that I started feeling good. I cannot tell you how absolutely amazing it felt for me the day after the 5th time I went to the gym. I woke up, and I was feeling good for the first time in a long time, it was like a miracle for me.

Again, I will reiterate, that if I was to go out for a walk every day at a normal walking pace, it would not help me feel better in anyway. See what I do at the gym is vigorous intense exercise for 70 minutes. I do power walking on the treadmill, and I feel that perhaps the more depressed a person is, the more vigorous exercise they might need to do.

It is after 40 minutes that endorphins are released in the brain when doing exercise. I also read this evening, that scientific research has found that exercise regulates the serotonin and neurotransmitters in the brain, which is how exercise fights depression.

Like I have said before, its hard going for 70 minutes, but it is so worth it, as I feel better, and when exercise is continued on a regular basis, it alleviates depression symptoms alot. I have gone through absolute hell with this illness, and anyone is severely depressed would do ANYTHING to feel good, even if it was for one day.

I have included here some studies done on how exercise can help depression. Its not too long of a read, not as long as my first post! I hope it might help someone.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Exercise-and-Depression-report-excerpt.htm

--LOS--

Thanks for posting ilovebiology. Have to agree with you about routine. Routine, looking after yourself, feeding yourself, getting some sleep, exercise etc, all that goes out the window when you're depressed. Unfortunately I think when you're so bad it's impossible to sort out those things on your own even if you are able to recognise them. Those things are a big effort when you're very low, but if you can learn to keep an eye on those things, you will feel better no doubt. A very hard thing to get through to someone though unless they've sought help I'd imagine. But if you can, then being aware of are you skipping meals, are you letting your schedule get all messed up maybe with sleep as well, if you can check in with yourself and think hang on, I've barely eaten a thing today, I'm bound to feel bad, or I've barely slept last night or w/e, then you can stop yourself attributing more bad feeling to the depression and you can prevent yourself from spiralling downwards. You will just give yourself a better chance at recovery I suppose if you can get a routine going, and if you're fuelling yourself properly. But I know for anyone that is severely depressed that probably just sounds like nothing but words, you need to seek help then and not be ashamed of that, maybe you need medication to get you to that point where you are able to help yourself and that's ok too. You're most vulnerable when you're feeling that way alone, something else to recognise.

ilovebiology

--LOS-- wrote: »

Thanks for posting ilovebiology. Have to agree with you about routine. Routine, looking after yourself, feeding yourself, getting some sleep, exercise etc, all that goes out the window when you're depressed. Unfortunately I think when you're so bad it's impossible to sort out those things on your own even if you are able to recognise them. Those things are a big effort when you're very low, but if you can learn to keep an eye on those things, you will feel better no doubt. A very hard thing to get through to someone though unless they've sought help I'd imagine. But if you can, then being aware of are you skipping meals, are you letting your schedule get all messed up maybe with sleep as well, if you can check in with yourself and think hang on, I've barely eaten a thing today, I'm bound to feel bad, or I've barely slept last night or w/e, then you can stop yourself attributing more bad feeling to the depression and you can prevent yourself from spiralling downwards. You will just give yourself a better chance at recovery I suppose if you can get a routine going, and if you're fuelling yourself properly. But I know for anyone that is severely depressed that probably just sounds like nothing but words, you need to seek help then and not be ashamed of that, maybe you need medication to get you to that point where you are able to help yourself and that's ok too. You're most vulnerable when you're feeling that way alone, something else to recognise.

Thanks Los. Yes, thats the way it is, I became completely locked into depression, and couldn't function whatsoever. The first month in hospital, I was struggling so much, and it was extremely difficult, but the nurses and doctors were so helpful with me getting into the daily routine, and recognising every time I did something that I felt a bit better. Its the worst most awful illness, it really is. The start of trying to get well is extremely difficult, but you can help a depressed person by being very patient, kind, understanding with them, and that really helps a depressed person. Its a matter of bit by bit and day by day. Talking out your issues helps alot too, and if you listen, but REALLY listen to the depressed person, and let them talk for as long as they want it helps alot too. Alot of love helps a depressed person.

ilovebiology

The One Doctor wrote: »

Exercise creates oxytocin, oxytocin makes you feel happy. Lots of other fun things create oxytocin as well btw. Hugs, sex, smiling etc. It's a brilliant hormone.

I'm being a very bold girl, as I am up a bit late, but its a Saturday night!

Oxytocin, yes it is great. I read somewhere that if you give someone a hug for 10 seconds, each person released endorphins and made both people feel good.

I think oxytocin is released when you kiss someone, it is released during sex when an orgasm is achieved.

Smiling for a while releases it too.

A great treatment for depression is laughter. Even watching one of your favourite films that are funny will lift your mood a bit, and also distracts you from how crap you might be feeling. Watching Ferris Buellers Day Off, Dumb and Dumber, films like that. Or have a look at some irish films that make you laugh, The Snapper, The Matchmaker, The Closer you get, are all humurous, and will help lift your mood too. Father Ted is another one! DVD box sets that cheer you up, or make you feel good in some way. They distract you from how crap you would be feeling too.


Having a pet is very good for someone who has depression. I have a pet, who I adore, and when I was feeling really down, lost, or in excrutiating agonising severe low mood emotional pain, I used to hold my pet, pet her, and it also helps to know you are not alone, as your pet will be there. You can get some much love from a little animal, and again I feel that love is a large component in helping someone with depression.

If you have really bad anxiety, exercise is excellent to get rid of this.

For anger, punching a pillow for as long as you want get the anger out of you, and in a safe way. I have done this, and it does work, and you wouldn't feel as angry after you have punched the pillows.

For depression, doing the daily routine to start first. I feel that once you. Try exercise - vigorous intense exercise I believe works very well for severe depression, but to keep up the exercise, and you will continue to feel good, and feel happy. Once you have these things achieved, and are continuing them, then engage in getting out of the house more to interact with people. Family, friends etc, or even meeting new people. My psychiatrist told me that it is very important that a depressed person has daily interaction with people, that it was important for mental health.

I was told in the hospital to remember a time in my life I was very happy, and what was I doing that made me so happy at that time. Everyone has happy times in their life, so maybe revisit them and do what you were doing that time, would help to.

Something that helped me as I was attempted suicide was I asked myself were there things in my life I always wanted to do, or places I wanted to go to, and to make a list and to see if it would be possible if you could do some of them. These things would be fun things to do. So you could make a list of things like this, and see if you could go and do them.

These are just some things I have thought of, if I think of more, I will include them too.

Johro

Yeah I think I posted something about it before in the 'Let's all laugh at depression' thread, but regular (daily) exercise helped me also. I became depressed and suffered very severe panic attacks where I thought I couldn't breathe, with all the other symptoms of panic attacks, you'll know yourself, every time it happened I thought this time I was going to die.
I think one of the things that exercise does is give you the feeling that it's YOU who's in charge and making yourself better, it gives you confidence.
I have always wanted to be independent, and I hate the idea of having to rely on medication (I don't take any), I think what does it for me is the fact that I'm taking charge of my own life, and daily exercise helps me do that. I feel better for having done it, every day. It makes me physically stronger, and better able to cope mentally.
I still get the odd panic attack, but I am able to deal with it better because of the physical confidence I gained. I breathe out slowly, as much as possible, then breathe in normally, breathe out slowly again, but breathe out for a longer time than breathing in, and do this for a while til I feel better, this seems to really help when I'm panicky.
I do some free weight training every day, I have a treadmill which I use for about half an hour three times a week, and I do about fifteen/twenty minutes of yoga in the afternoon/evening, whichever suits, either before dinner or a while before bed. It has not become my religion, I don't feel bad if I skip a day, but I do like to get in a bit of exercise if I didn't do the usual routine, like going for a bit of a walk, kick a ball around, something.
Anyway,I would recommend exercise to anyone who suffers from depression and/or anxiety problems, it may be a slow start for you, depending on severity, but it will definitely help you, try it and keep at it, because you need physical health for mental health.
Another thing, once you start feeling better, and if you are able, do some voluntary work. I worked voluntarily as a carer in a therapeutic unit (after completing a course) that taught arts and crafts, remedial skills, music, drama etc to young people with handicaps, and it actually helped me feel better about myself too. It doesn't have to be in a caring capacity, helping clean up in the community is just as good, just something that keeps you busy and benefits people, it helps because you'll feel better about yourself.
But exercise is something that anybody can do, in their own space, (or a gym if you'd prefer) and in their own time. Glad it works for you too.

Johro

By the way, my location isn't really 'a secure mental facility'

Johro

Oh and try to eat healthy food. Jeez.
I kinda just thought of that now but you actually seem to start eating healthier when you become used to your routine of exercising regularly anyway, I guess you become more aware of the fact that what you put in your body for sustenance is important, as is getting enough fluids.
But yeah, eating right will help you too. Again, I'm not averse to a bit of junk food now and then and I'm not a health freak, but on the whole I try to get plenty of fruit and veg down me, to counteract the chips
Actually chips are okay, don't worry too much coz when you exercise you'll burn off those calories. A varied diet is the thing I guess. Try not to eat too much junk. But like I said, once your preferred way of exercise becomes routine you'll also eat better. We all have an amazing capacity to heal ourselves, you need to feed that.

Johro

Buttonftw wrote: »

If I were advising someone the first advice I would give is to know that getting past depression is a journey.

I was ****ed up for a long time. Probably since I was about 8. It hung over me for so long until I realised what it was. Even then I was paralysed to do anything about it. When I was 19 I did counseling, I tried anti-depressants, neither helped. I self-medicated from I was 15 and muddled on. At the start of this year I had college projects, finals and a thesis to do and I went on sleeping tablets. Most people want something to keep them awake for a thesis, I needed the opposite. :P

After my thesis was in I went on different anti-depressants. They were ones that had to be stepped up after an initial dose. Each month though I noticed they wore off massively around week 3 but the last 10 weeks I've maintained a dose and am doing really well. I had something **** happen to me the other day, had a horrible night and thought I was going back to my old ways but a night's sleep sorted it. I'm better than I've ever been, I've got aims that I think I'm actually gonna hit, I don't feel like topping myself, I'm pretty much fine.

Point being, the first tablets may not work. Counseling may not work. But something will work. My doctor said I'm on a higher dose than he gives anyone who hasn't been in hospital after a suicide attempt. :P But I'm getting there. I have a friend who's on a dose so big he has to take 3 times the biggest tablet per day, and it's working for him. What I'm on is finally working for me. Something will work, I didn't expect this to work, I still doubt it now and then but there's always something there.

EDIT: Also I tried eating properly, exercise, not drinking, not doing drugs, being in a relationship. None of that stuff helped. I'm not trying to say that drugs are the answer for everyone, they definitely aren't and we still don't know why they work when they do. I would advise everyone to try to sleep properly, eat well and exercise. Give it a few months before poo-pooing it. CBT can work for some people. A good cry now and then can work for other people. The answer could be the first thing you try, it could be the tenth. Try the easier, non-invasive/committal stuff first but there'll always be something.

Absolutely it won't work for everyone, and it may not right away, but it will benefit you, as it will anybody. But yeah I do get that some people need the drugs to kickstart the recovery.