Public Toilets

Gael23

I had to use the toilets in a Shopping centre which consisted of 2 cubicles and a few urinals. I proceeded to a vacant urinal but there was a guy waiting for a cubicle.
One soon became free directly beside the urinals and next thing I could hear was this guy unloading one plop after another.

Felt a bit embarrassed for him, especially since me and a few others saw him waiting to do his business

wazky

I had weetabix this morning, only two though because I wasnt that hungry.

Arthur Beesley

Plops. Ha ha.

mad muffin

Once you plop you can't stop…

rockbeast

Archeron

Plops are fine, we all do plops. It's when it sounds like someone opened the gates of hell interspersed with farts that could break glass that make me stop playing snake on my mobile and leave.

Gael23

We all do one or 2 but I don't think it's usual to do loads

stmol32

How many people are answering boards posts while defecating......AS WE SPEAK NOOOOO!!!!

iMac_Hunt

Genuinely curious as to why you felt embarrassed for him? Do you get embarrassed when people pee in the toilet when you hear the splash?

Gael23

iMac_Hunt wrote: »

Genuinely curious as to why you felt embarrassed for him? Do you get embarrassed when people pee in the toilet when you hear the splash?

What if the same guys were there after that "performance" when he came out?

Hande hoche!

Guess aloud what he had for lunch next time.

Mississauga

It's times like this I miss Flutterin Bantam.

magick

You should see the toilets in the States, the gaps between the doors are as big as the grand canyon

corner of hells

wazky wrote: »

I had weetabix this morning, only two though because I wasnt that hungry.

In other news I found my torch today , was in my workboot.

iMac_Hunt

ryanf1 wrote: »

What if the same guys were there after that "performance" when he came out?

What difference would it make if the same guys were there when came out. Its a toilet, people go there to use the toilet. He wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary so to speak!

rockbeast

iMac_Hunt wrote: »

What difference would it make if the same guys were there when came out. Its a toilet, people go there to use the toilet. He wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary so to speak!

The sweet smell of success

Filmer Paradise

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

Plops. Ha ha.

They're Helicopter Gunships where I come from!

shruikan2553

The best is hearing "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *pop/squelch* ahhhh"

Davarus Walrus

There's few things worse than sitting on the can in a public convenience minding your own business and trying to be discrete, only to have some extrovert arrive into the next stall; the sound of the slacks dropping, a sigh, a pause, before a noise emerging that sounds like a box of books falling out of an attic. Usually followed by a muttered 'jaysus' and a follow-through volley of farts and squeaks.

Arthur Beesley

Archeron wrote: »

Plops are fine, we all do plops. It's when it sounds like someone opened the gates of hell interspersed with farts that could break glass that make me stop playing snake on my mobile and leave.

Or hit record.

Filmer Paradise

Mississauga wrote: »

It's times like this I miss Flutterin Bantam.

Having an 'unstable round in the chamber' was always an occasion to be savoured, enjoyed & talked about when he was here.

Be open about your bowels, he saidith...

Good times.

thelad95

Yet another toilet humour thread in After Hours. Beats Garth Brooks I suppose.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

You see. This is why unisex toilets are a bad idea.

We start hearing the arse vocals of one another and our species is doomed to extinction.

rockbeast

Never be ashamed of your bodily excretions. If others want to listen, let them; Say it loud and proud as you depart that stall - "I've just had a joyous evacuation."

It's the people listening in public toilets that worries me...greatly...is that a kink?

Arthur Beesley

thelad95 wrote: »

Yet another toilet humour thread in After Hours. Beats Garth Brooks I suppose.

Not much better than this though:

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057239226/1/#post91042674

Or this:

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057219986/1/#post90608636

thelad95

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

Not much better than this though:

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057239226/1/#post91042674

Or this:

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057219986/1/#post90608636

For the banana thread my account was hacked. The hairy arse at the urinal is fair game though. Well done friend.

Sir Arthur Daley

That fella should have threw in some bog paper to cushion the noise of the plops, he should have anticipated what type of exit the movements would be. You would think after the first plop he would shape himself sideways to have the plops of the side of the bowel, worse case senario would be skid marks.

thelad95

It is one of the great achievements in life to reach a black belt in the art of pissing a skid mark off the side of the bowl.

Cantremember

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

There's few things worse than sitting on the can in a public convenience minding your own business and trying to be discrete, only to have some extrovert arrive into the next stall; the sound of the slacks dropping, a sigh, a pause, before a noise emerging that sounds like a box of books falling out of an attic. Usually followed by a muttered 'jaysus' and a follow-through volley of farts and squeaks.

The squeaks is the clincher. Lmfao.

Sir Arthur Daley

Cantremember wrote: »

The squeaks is the clincher. Lmfao.

Or if he started knocking one out :pac:

Ihatecuddles

Shams wrote: »

You should see the toilets in the States, the gaps between the doors are as big as the grand canyon

What is with that?? Peopl can see straight in!

JonEBGud

I miss the old days when you could go
into the bushes, do your business and
no one passed any remark.
Public Toilets were free them days.

Jeefff

I was in the toilets under McDonalds on O'Connell street when I was about twelve, washing my hands kind of waiting for my brother who was in the cubicle. This big bloke was standing beside me looking a bit rough, I was averting my gaze when he landed on me like a tonne of bricks. He went flat on his face after falling off of me, my bro walks out of the cubicle, looks at me, looks at the bloke on the ground, looks at me again, we both leg it upstairs and sit with our ma saying nothing, then an ambulance arrives and they go downstairs, they come back up with a sheet over yer man on a stretcher :eek: he was stone dead
He was after injecting with something and just dropped on me.
Never went into public jax till I was about 16 after that.
It could have been worse though, if it was a minute earlier I'd have been in mid flow when he hit me.

dd972

on connection with this thread

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/
George Michael linked with Fulham F.C takeover

He's been a regular at the Cottage apparently...

Captain Don Thorpe

Protip: The more toilet paper you lay atop the toilet water, the less sound your plops make. But be warned, too many sheets and you may flood it upon flushing, that's why my second protip is this: never flush afterwards.

Lux23

ryanf1 wrote: »

I had to use the toilets in a Shopping centre which consisted of 2 cubicles and a few urinals. I proceeded to a vacant urinal but there was a guy waiting for a cubicle.
One soon became free directly beside the urinals and next thing I could hear was this guy unloading one plop after another.

Felt a bit embarrassed for him, especially since me and a few others saw him waiting to do his business

Apparently toilets were invented for pooping.

Sir Arthur Daley

Lux23 wrote: »

Apparently toilets were invented for pooping.

Never seriously? :rolleyes:

CrazyRabbit

I wish I could flush this thread from my memory. Reading it was a drain on my time, and I'm basin that on the quality of the replies so far. Perhaps I just like drier humour, or perhaps my sense of humour just stinks. And yes, I know this reply was a piss poor attempt at puns.

Fat Christy

I hate when you're out with your friends and everyone has to use the toilet at one time. You sitting down to do a nice poo and they start talking to you from the cubicle beside you. Seriously, shut the fcuk up, I need to concentrate on the poo at hand. Your constant mutterings are making it go back in. :mad:

Gael23

Fat Christy wrote: »

I hate when you're out with your friends and everyone has to use the toilet at one time. You sitting down to do a nice poo and they start talking to you from the cubicle beside you. Seriously, shut the fcuk up, I need to concentrate on the poo at hand. Your constant mutterings are making it go back in. :mad:

Your poo goes back in?
Im the sort of guy that gets the job done and comes back out again, no time longer than required spent it tong there