what to do when life takes a s**t on you

john the one

So I'm sitting in the pub after having a row with the oh, seems as if we might have to call it a day.
I haven't had great luck with friendships/relationships in my life and just feel very blue at the moment. All my mates left for Australia and I don't have anyone to talk to.
What can you do to cheer me up for a short while until I have to come to terms with the mess in my life?
No need for suicide helpline numbers or AA advice just yet:)
I leave my fate in your hands AH

Sir Arthur Daley

Coke and hookers op.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

I'll put €50 behind the bar for ya.

Turtwig

Make it take the lemons back!

FearDark

She's probably cheating on you anyway.

fleet_admiral

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Coke and hookers op.

That comment wasnt funny in 2006 and its not funny now

Benteke

Grow a pair and stop feeling sorry for yourself

Time heals OP. Get some decent sleep tonight and tomorrow start evaluating what you want to change and how you want to change it.

Get rid of everything. Photos, texts, defriend and delete. Then move on.

john the one

50 quid sounds good, bar is closing in an hour so I would have to drink a **** load of Middleton in **** glasses to spend it all. Suppose I could give it to the missus but she would say I only gave it to her because I hate her

PizzamanIRL

Clap back. We gon' clap back. We gon' clap back.

solomafioso

Some days you're the statue, some days you're the pigeon.

john the one

fleet_admiral wrote: »

That comment wasnt funny in 2006 and its not funny now

Isn't fleet_admiral_Dave a controversial person?

harry Bailey esq

john the one wrote: »

So I'm sitting in the pub after having a row with the oh, seems as if we might have to call it a day.
I haven't had great luck with friendships/relationships in my life and just feel very blue at the moment. All my mates left for Australia and I don't have anyone to talk to.
What can you do to cheer me up for a short while until I have to come to terms with the mess in my life?
No need for suicide helpline numbers or AA advice just yet:)
I leave my fate in your hands AH

just have to roll with the punches man,hope you come up trumps on the other side.Probably should post this in personal issues because people tend to take the piss round here.Unless you like cocaine and hookers,if that's your bag you are sure to get sage advice

dirtyden

You should go to the pub and seek attention on an internet forum maybe.

punisher5112

Go to peru and smuggle some coke home.

Go off with oh sister or if no sister the brother if you feel up for it.

Fox_In_Socks

When life takes a **** on you, wipe it off with tissue and throw it out the window onto some poor unfortunate below you.

Sir Arthur Daley

fleet_admiral wrote: »

That comment wasnt funny in 2006 and its not funny now

Pity you were not born before 2006 to have had enjoyed it.

john the one

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

just have to roll with the punches man,hope you come up trumps on the other side.Probably should post this in personal issues because people tend to take the piss round here.Unless you like cocaine and hookers,if that's your bag you are sure to get sage advice

I don't really want to post in a serious forum because I'm not looking for serious advice really, just a pick me up

Sparks43

Benteke wrote: »

Grow a pair and stop feeling sorry for yourself

You are some twat

OP Chin up m8 had a poxy couple of days myself and could swing for someone atm.

Cup of tea then bed will have to do though

Fox_In_Socks

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

When life takes a **** on you, wipe it off with tissue and throw it out the window onto some poor unfortunate below you.

Ew!

I suppose it always helps to think of those worse off.


Your heart might be broken OP, but at least no one's thrown a sh!tty tissue at you

listermint

Stick two fingers up at it and tell it your going to live it to its fullest.


Go for a jog. Then plan something you've never done before.

Once done stick another two fingers up at it again and do something else new

punisher5112

Are you that guy in the corner crying op?

corner of hells

john the one wrote: »

So I'm sitting in the pub after having a row with the oh, seems as if we might have to call it a day.
I haven't had great luck with friendships/relationships in my life and just feel very blue at the moment. All my mates left for Australia and I don't have anyone to talk to.
What can you do to cheer me up for a short while until I have to come to terms with the mess in my life?
No need for suicide helpline numbers or AA advice just yet:)
I leave my fate in your hands AH

Why would you be ringing the the AA ? I mean times like this the Automobile Association will do fcuk all for you.
Ring your OHs best friend or sisters and ask how they're fixed for horizontal shuffle.

harry Bailey esq

john the one wrote: »

I don't really want to post in a serious forum because I'm not looking for serious advice really, just a pick me up

coke and hookers it is so

john the one

punisher5112 wrote: »

Are you that guy in the corner crying op?

Yip, using my tears as lube for myself. Crying while I fap

daisybelle2008

Once 'john the one' now 'john the ex'

punisher5112

I would come over and give ya a hug but who knows what state your in you mind find me attractive:pac:

Benteke

Sparks43 wrote: »

You are some twat

OP Chin up m8 had a poxy couple of days myself and could swing for someone atm.

Cup of tea then bed will have to do though

Why? because I refuse to give attention to someone who has had a falling out with his other half ah bless

whupdedo

Your in a bar ? What would you be prepared to do for a once in a life time chance to win a holiday ?

Fox_In_Socks

Candie wrote: »

Ew!

I suppose it always helps to think of those worse off.


Your heart might be broken OP, but at least no one's thrown a sh!tty tissue at you

It is a metaphor that is best demonstrated by this short Mr Bean clip.

Like is full of rollercoaster up and downs with ****ty nappies thrown into the mix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yxWXGikdqs

beano345

Is there a jukebox in the pub op? Stick on r.e.m's "everybody hurts" should cheer you up

john the one

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Once 'john the one' now 'john the ex'

John the prick seems to be her nick name for me now! Get this, the OH went out about 2 months ago while I stayed in catching up in some SOA and when she came in steaming drunk she actually woke me up just to call me a bollox and then went to bed! A low moment in my life

Gael23

When you come to the realisation that you don't need people in your life that hurt you things improve.
Fill your mind with positive thoughts that you really are stronger than what you feel and focus on picking up the mess and starting over again. If that mens leaving this bad relationship then that's what it takes, put that relationship in the past and then as soon as you feel ready move onto a new one with someone you love and trust.

corner of hells

john the one wrote: »

John the prick seems to be her nick name for me now! Get this, the OH went out about 2 months ago while I stayed in catching up in some SOA and when she came in steaming drunk she actually woke me up just to call me a bollox and then went to bed! A low moment in my life

She went out two months ago on the piss and has only just come home ?

Arthur Beesley

corner of hells wrote: »

She went out two months ago on the piss and has only just come home ?

That really is taking the piss.

john the one

OK so I have decided when I get home to watch a movie to cheer myself up, will Schindler's list work?

Mr. U

Learn to play the guitar. I actually sang your opening post; it's actually not too bad and reads like a good song! Go write some music!!

Arthur Beesley

john the one wrote: »

OK so I have decided when I get home to watch a movie to cheer myself up, will Schindler's list work?

Can you take a dump in one of her handbags? Or in a pocket of her favourite coat?

Should make you feeling better.

john the one

Mr. U wrote: »

Learn to play the guitar. I actually sang your opening post; it's actually not too bad and reads like a good song! Go write some music!!

Nothing. Absolutely.nothing. would cheer me up more than you recording that, putting it up on YouTube, embedding it on this thread, me sending it to David hasslehoff and the both of us making **** loads of money on another poorly written love song

harry Bailey esq

john the one wrote: »

John the prick seems to be her nick name for me now! Get this, the OH went out about 2 months ago while I stayed in catching up in some SOA and when she came in steaming drunk she actually woke me up just to call me a bollox and then went to bed! A low moment in my life

you mentioned all your mates went to oz? Ill take an educated guess and say the missis was one of the reasons you stayed behind?Nothin holding you back now.To be honest mate she sounds like a geebag,you dodged the bullet.

fleet_admiral

dont forget to rob some flowers from the graveyard on your way home to hers

john the one

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

you mentioned all your mates went to oz? Ill take an educated guess and say the missis was one of the reasons you stayed behind?Nothin holding you back now.To be honest mate she sounds like a geebag,you dodged the bullet.

I left out the bit about a very young child

wandatowell

When I get blue I benchpress 100kg and take great happiness in the fact that I can bench more than the vast vast majority of women on the planet.



Go me!

sheesh

john the one wrote: »

OK so I have decided when I get home to watch a movie to cheer myself up, will Schindler's list work?

its ****ing hilarious if your a huge anti-semite







too soon?

Mr. U

john the one wrote: »

Nothing. Absolutely.nothing. would cheer me up more than you recording that, putting it up on YouTube, embedding it on this thread, me sending it to David hasslehoff and the both of us making **** loads of money on another poorly written love song

Be careful what you wish for because I might just do it! Although I probably won't. Keep ya head up!

daisybelle2008

john the one wrote: »

I left out the bit about a very young child

Sad, but that will really help the song....

john the one

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Sad, but that will really help the song....

About as much fun as OK computer

john the one

Mr. U wrote: »

Be careful what you wish for because I might just do it! Although I probably won't. Keep ya head up!

If you don't well then your an enabler. Everyone look at the enabler

Tail Docker

john the one wrote: »

I don't really want to post in a serious forum because I'm not looking for serious advice really, just a pick me up

Your hair is looking bloody fantastic.

daisybelle2008

john the one wrote: »

About as much fun as OK computer

It's more Kenny Rogers I'd say,
what with the wife gone wild & the little hungry* child...

*probably not true

ToddyDoody

john the one wrote: »

So I'm sitting in the pub after having a row with the oh, seems as if we might have to call it a day.
I haven't had great luck with friendships/relationships in my life and just feel very blue at the moment. All my mates left for Australia and I don't have anyone to talk to.
What can you do to cheer me up for a short while until I have to come to terms with the mess in my life?
No need for suicide helpline numbers or AA advice just yet:)
I leave my fate in your hands AH

Get reading something introspective... religion, philosophy, spirituality.. All designed for hard, lonely times.