Fattest thing you've ever done

Lockstep

What's something food or laziness related that you can only think "Goddamn, that was a really fat thing to do".
No need to actually be fat or to be proud of what you did.

I have two stories:

First is the one I'm most ashamed of
Went to a Chinese all-you-can-eat restaurant. Great food, nomnom.
Ate way too much. Started to feel sick.
Made it to the bathroom just in time. Threw up in the toilet
Felt better, went back out and hit the all-you-can-eat again.
I felt like a Roman stereotype, gorging myself, throwing upto make room and returning to ingest food.

Another time, went to visit a friend in Glasgow, went to Loch Lomond.
Got back to Glasgow many hours later, exhausted and starving. First place we found back in the city was a KFC.
I looked at him, he looked at me. We ordered a family size bucket of chicken and ate it between us.
The server looked both impressed and horrified.

Duggy747

I'm going through a Garlic Butter phase, I'm lathering it all over me food.

I should really stop, me farts are getting rancid and would turn milk sour.

Hande hoche!

Tin of condensed milk and a spoon.

o1s1n

Have gone on a couple of cruises with all you can eat buffets.

On several occasions I woke about 1 or 2am and went down to get a couple of 'night burgers'.

There's nothing which makes you feel more obese than sitting in a restaurant in the early hours of the morning, stuffing your face with cheeseburgers while the staff try to hoover around you :pac:

BeerWolf

Any time it comes to Indian food, I ALWAYS have to get seconds... I just love it too much.

Slicemeister

Never done anything fat. It's called self control.

o1s1n

Slicemeister wrote: »

Never done anything fat. It's called self control.

You've never gorged on anything in your life? Not even once?

That's not called 'self control', it's called 'boring' :pac:

solomafioso

Slicemeister wrote: »

Never done anything fat. It's called self control.

Tell me more....

Ken Shamrock

Slicemeister wrote: »

Never done anything fat. It's called self control.

Everyone bow down to the master of self control. :rolleyes:

I've done an awful lot of "Fat" things in my life but i guess one that always stands out for me is eating an entire meaty mizzoni wagon wheel to myself.

I finished the whole thing in about 40mins in a race against my mate, i was folding each slice up like a taco and they were dripping with grease, sounds nasty but my god it was delicious :P

Davarus Walrus

I once played a computer game for 6 hours and ordered takeaway so I didn't have to cook. I'm not a game player usually so felt like a massive fat antisocial nerd for having done so. It was that red dead redemption game.

Gannicus

At the company christmas party in 2007 I ate 6 or 7 full dinners.

We all went out for a few beers beforehand and when we got to the actual christmas do most people where merry already and didn't want the dinners so just passed them to me.

When I say dinner it was ham, turkey, carrots, peas, spuds stuffing and gravy.

After it was finished I had maybe 2 or 3 beers and I was absolutely jacked. I ended up leaving about 11pm and going home to bed. I was falling asleep in my chair at the party and I didn't want the managers to think I was slaughtered drunk.

When I was walking out the door I managed to score one of the girls from work who was langered and we got a taxi back to hers. I ended up falling asleep in her bed while she was in the jax "gettting ready"

ComputerKing

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Tin of condensed milk and a spoon.

That's not fat its absolutely delicious you just can't eat a full can at once as its too sweet. Try putting a bit in a shot of espresso its gorgeous.

jimgoose

I'm afraid I have regular Fat moments, from putting butter on slices of Madeira cake to eating feeds of burgers-and-chips that'd knock a bull elephant, usually after porter. I also usually eat about two-thirds of a fifteen-inch extra-cheese-and-pepperoni on Friday evenings, which is pizza night chez Goose.

YellowFeather

Went to my first ever all you can eat Indian restaurant in Glasgow. I ate EVERYTHING. No, really, I actually tried every single thing. Started to feel really dodgy but it was manageable. Got on the train heading back to the airport and a fella sitting beside us started eating a battered black pudding!!! :eek: Well, I've never been sick from food before or since, but I had to peg it into the bathroom to throw up about 17 kinds of Indian meals.

Took a while before I could look a Korma in the eye again.

jimgoose

Gannicus wrote: »

At the company christmas party in 2007 I ate 6 or 7 full dinners....

...and the multiple dinner thing, yeah - guilty! :pac:

Hande hoche!

ComputerKing wrote: »

That's not fat its absolutely delicious you just can't eat a full can at once as its too sweet. Try putting a bit in a shot of espresso its gorgeous.

Dipping digestive biscuits in it also works. Thankfully have avoided the convenient tubes of condensed milk thus far.

Yer Aul One

After a night out, I bought 4 double cheeseburgers in mcdonalds.

One was for my girlfriend....but I ate it before I got back to her house.

Slicemeister

o1s1n wrote: »

You've never gorged on anything in your life? Not even once?

That's not called 'self control', it's called 'boring' :pac:

Better than fat and boring...

Outside of alcohol, not really tbh.

jamo2oo9

Was on holidays in Italy before and one night, I was feeling generous so I decide to buy three pizzas from the local restaurant for the family and brought them back to the campervan. None of them wanted any and I thought it would be such a waste to throw those gorgeous pizzas. Ate the first one and I was already full. For the other two, I just rolled them up and stuffed it into my face.

Best thing ever! :P

solomafioso

Slicemeister wrote: »

Better than fat and boring...

Outside of alcohol, not really tbh.

Did your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?

Plazaman

Done it on a couple of occasions after a few afternoon bevvies on a Sunday, I'd get a chinese takeway and get 2 different types so I'd have one for the next day and avoid cooking. Get home eat one of them, still feel peckish and think sure I'll just have a taste of the second one....... nomnomnom - gone!! I stopped doing it when I read that the average takeway (in the foil trays) is meant to feed 2 people so I realised I've regularly eaten a meal for 4. My theory now is if I don't buy it I won't eat it........damn them chineses and their tasty msg laden meals.

jimgoose

Plazaman wrote: »

...damn them chineses and their tasty msg laden meals.

Ah, the old classic "But... but de fukkers horse de MSG inta it, like!!". The last refuge of the (fat) scoundrel! :pac::pac::pac:

Where is the "all of the above" option?

Sleepy

McDonaghs Cod and Chips with a side of Onion Rings and an entire Entenmanns Chocolate Fudge Cake for dessert washed down with a litre of coke...

(I wish I still had my 19 year old metabolism!)

Gannicus

Sleepy wrote: »

(I wish I still had my 19 year old metabolism!)

I second that sentiment

The Backwards Man

I once ate a whole KFC family bucket.

I was that hungry I almost ate what was in it too.

the_monkey

Sometimes I put cream in my cereal instead of milk ...

greenflash

Fattest thing I've ever done is related to a well known politician so I'll stop typing right about now

Tarzana

Slicemeister wrote: »

Never done anything fat. It's called self control.

On my deathbed, I'll very glad I decided to waive self-control on a number of occasions in my life.

solomafioso

There are multiple instances I've had the guilt after over-indulgence.

The only one that comes to mind is eating a six pack of king in succession. Can't stop!

Maximus Alexander

I once got a meal in McDonald's three times in one day. And I'm not even sorry.

Also split a mega meal deal from Mizzoni's with only one other person. That's a 26 inch pizza, chicken goujons and chips. There were no leftovers.

Tarzana

Slicemeister wrote: »

Better than fat and boring...

Outside of alcohol, not really tbh.

OK, so never done anything fat, but have gorged on a substance. Where is your self-control? :pac:

FTA69

Working as a bouncer saw me indulge in some horrific moments of gluttony, usually because you're training hard and by the time the shift finishes you mightn't have eaten in ten hours. Throw some after work pints into the mix and you're goosed entirely.

We used to look in on a chipper next door to us which usually resulted in them throwing us the remaining chicken. Three breasts in a bun wasn't unusual for some of the bigger lads. I myself have often burst into McDonalds at 6am and demolished four odd McMuffin yokes. We had one group in for a birthday but had to f*ck them all out for doing coke in the jacks and abusing the staff when asked to leave. I recall later eating most of the birthday girl's expensive hand-made chocolate cake that she'd asked the bar staff to mind.

razorblunt

Hob Nobs are meant to be eaten in packet size quantities whith a pint of milk right?

Local supermarket now has that "do not serve this man chocolate hob nobs" poster up!

Maximus Alexander

razorblunt wrote: »

Hob Nobs are meant to be eaten in packet size quantities whith a pint of milk right?

Local supermarket now has that "do not serve this man chocolate hob nobs" poster up!

Happens to me with Rich Tea and a mug of scald. My better half has strict instructions to just take the packet from me when she sees that I've lost control.

Mr. CooL ICE

I sometimes put a teaspoon of hot chocolate powder into my porridge.

Mahogany Gaspipe

Fast food I can take or leave; however I find homemade lasagna has that, addictive gotta have another plate, hold over me.

Sleepy

Anyone remember the house special from the Snack Box that was on Shop Street in Galway during the early naughties?

Chicken Piece, Rasher, Sausage, Garlic Mushrooms, Onion Rings and Chips for about £4. Only ever finished in one sitting if inebriated.... *drool*

osarusan

Like most other families, I imagine, we used to get some boxes of Danish butter cookies every Christmas. I hid one, and was eating it all by myself over a couple of days. Eventually my mother remembered that we had an extra box and started wondering where it had gone. The whole family, including me, took part in the search. We finally found the half empty box under a sofa.


I thought I'd be in really big trouble but it seems that my audacity impressed everyone, so nothing much was made of it. I was only about 9.

SEPT 23 1989

Two carvery dinners within 5 hours of each other

Davarus Walrus

Sleepy wrote: »

Anyone remember the house special from the Snack Box that was on Shop Street in Galway during the early naughties?

Chicken Piece, Rasher, Sausage, Garlic Mushrooms, Onion Rings and Chips for about £4. Only ever finished in one sitting if inebriated.... *drool*

You could get mushy peas poured all over it as well. That was a great chipper.

Birneybau

the_monkey wrote: »

Sometimes I put cream in my cereal instead of milk ...

I can't even use full fat milk on cereal. Bleugh!

The odd (every) Saturday, if hungover (always), order family meal deal from pizza place and generally eat everything (nachos, sweet potato fries) maybe leaving a slice or two for breakfast the next day.

Thank god I walk everywhere, the odd 5 mile trek home from work.

gandalf

Las Vegas Buffet Breakfast with several trips up for more bacon and waffles Felt like a stuffed Whale afterwards.

The yanks though beat me they just keep going back for more and more and more.

It is a a frightening place to visit to see the amount of food being consumed and wasted.

mrDerek

when i was in thailand i got a KFC just before i started drinking to have something in the stomach, at the end of the night i got a burger king with some thai girl and then went home to bang, post bangage i walked her back to the strip and got us both big mac meals and we parted ways.

Also

There was a point in time 2 years ago that my post drinking night snack in town was to go into mc donalds and get 5/6 hamburgers or 3/4 hamburgers and 1 cheese burger i got away with this for a while before the fat just descended on me suffice to say this practise was quickly ended.

Quandary

Every Christmas Day we have a poker night where all the lads come over and play cards or just have a few drinks. Needless to say, people eat a lot of ham, turkey, stuffing, sandwiches along with whatever else they find in the kitchen.

Anyway, this heavy(5' 10" & 20 stone weight) neighbour of ours calls in and he's very drunk, to put it mildly. At this stage of the night it was about 2am and the poker game was still going strong, as was the drinking, but the kitchen had been ransacked and the food had been long since eaten.......... Or so we thought....

We hear the microwave going in the background and after the ding sound our neighbour comes into the room with a huge casserole dish containing the scrapings of our dinner plates and a desert spoon. It was basically a mulch of gravy, turkey fat, potato peelings etc....

He sat there and horsed it down his neck while we tried to play our poker without dry reaching.

The worst part of it all is it was actually meant to be used for the dogs dinner for the next 2 days. Poor dog didn't get his Christmas dinner!

That's about the fattest thing I've ever seen.

mrsdewinter

Sleepy wrote: »

Anyone remember the house special from the Snack Box that was on Shop Street in Galway during the early naughties?

Chicken Piece, Rasher, Sausage, Garlic Mushrooms, Onion Rings and Chips for about £4. Only ever finished in one sitting if inebriated.... *drool*

Also, epic breakfast rolls... Really miss that place.

bodhi085

Was in uk at the weekend and on the Saturday I ate a zinger tower meal with fries beans and a skittles krushem at KFC. Mc Donald's was next door at so went in there and got a twix mcflurry. Later in the day went into McDonald's on motorway services and had a quarter pounder meal with strawberry milkshake. Then much later went into Burger King and had a cheese burger. All this was on top of the four pack sausage roll and twin pack scotch egg from tesco that I'd eaten for the journey. Had also packed fruit pastilles and multi pack of walkers crisps but didn't touch them.
I've never felt so greedy,but luckily it was the only that day.it felt great at the time.
I just remembered my wife bought a 4 pack of glazed ring donuts from a co op store. Had two of them sat in the car while my wife went in Burger King.

LizzieJones

When I was pregnant with my oldest son, I once bought a bucket of KFC and peeled and ate all the skin from all of the chicken pieces. Put the rest of the bucket in the fridge for my husband (now an ex-husband) because he liked his KFC with no skin.

When those tubs of ready-to-spread cake icings first came out a friend of mine bet me that I could not eat a whole one in a day. I was sick as a dog afterwards but $100. 00 richer.

seamus

I used to be a fat guy. And man I still love my food. I've had too many fat moments to be able to single out one.

In secondary school, I used to come home at lunchtime and make my own lunch. Remember those mini-pizzas you used to be able to get (maybe you still can). Probably 5 inches in diameter. Yeah, anyway, one of them, between bread. A pizza sandwich. Two pizza sandwiches. For lunch.

I was incapable of opening a box or a packet of something without eating the entire thing. Pringles? Check. Biscuits? Check. Bag of 6 doughnuts? Check.

Saturday was Pizza dinner day. An entire Goodfellas deep pan pizza. With chips. And since it was Saturday I'd probably get a chinese around 9 o'clock too.

In college I discovered a tasty and quick pre-boozing dinner. A 500g bag of pasta, into an ovenable bowl with a jar of dolmio sauce, and topped off with a bag of grated cheese. 30 minutes in the oven, bingo-bango, you've got a meal. You've got 6 meals, actually, but I ate them all. It didn't start out this way, you understand. Initially I would use about half the cheese, and eat about a third of the bowl before going out. Then I'd feast on another 3rd when I got in, and eat the rest the next day for lunch. But over time I ate more and more until eventually I was just eating the whole thing. I later worked it out at 3,600kcal for one meal.
Of course, then I would go on the beer and down 10+ pints of guinness and a couple of shorts, and get a Charlie's on the way home.

Going out for dinner, I was always the guy who got starters, and mains (with a side of chips or two), and dessert. And then felt hungry about two hours later.

I still occasionally get flashes of gorging, which I actually appreciate a ****load more now that I'm not fat. $10 breakfast buffet in Vegas. I had 3 breakfasts that morning, with champagne.

The Christmas after we got married we couldn't decide on whose parents to go to for dinner, so we ended up going to both. Yes, I had two full Xmas dinners that day. Though in my defence, the in-laws don't make "extra" for Xmas dinner. What's on the plates is all there is. Whereas in my parents' house you have what's on the plate, and then you have the mountain of food in the centre of the table.

Mousewar

I've done a job on a few all-you-eat places. I'm pretty slim but I can pack the food away when I want. My best story though is the one where I failed miserably.

I went to a small diner in the US for breakfast. Washington State if I recall correctly. Hadn't eaten much the day before so was starving. Looking at the menu I had my eye on the pancakes. There were two options: A five stack or a three stack. Obviously I ordered the five-stack. Lovely waitress looked at this skinny Irish guy and said that she thought I'd be better sticking to the three-stack. 'Very filling' she described them. I almost laughed at her. I've had this before from waitresses when I sometimes order two mains. They often try to talk me out of it. As if patronising a small child I assured I'd be alright.

Well the pancakes came and they're not quite like over here. These were big f**kers.
What happened?
I got through one and a half of them.
When she collected my plate she had such a f**king grin on her face.

eviltwin

bought a cake and ate the entire thing myself