Tinder.

theperson2014

So I've decided to give up on grindr as I've reached the end of my tether with the seedy clientele it attracts. I thought I'd see what tinder was like in comparison after a lot of positive feedback.

Anyway, within less than 2 days of installing the app I've received 77 matches. I initially thought there was an error but it was accurate. The thing is however, I've only received 7 messages out of my matches and of the 3 messages I initiated, 2 didn't reply and one unmatched me!

So what is the deal with this app? Do people just like every profile in order to get a little ego boost?

Dick Turnip

Well without being cheeky, you said yourself you've only initiated 3 messages out of 77 matches?!

I do think people like more profiles than they actually may truly like as the onus to message isn't immediate. So when a match comes through later on they might feel they aren't as interested.

MultiUmm

I don't use Tinder myself but I would be cautious about the number of matches you get. I know a lot of my friends who use it match with every second person even if they have no intention of ever chatting with them and in addition to that a lot of them are straight but they say they're interested in both genders, don't really know why but they do.

I'm sure there are genuine guys on it but I just wouldn't take it all at face value, although I suppose that can be said for any dating app/ site really.

daithi84

I have only 5 matches i feel bad now.

theperson2014

daithi84 wrote: »

I have only 5 matches i feel bad now.

Ah don't feel bad at all. Did you like many profiles,

Kitty cat1977

Hi All, can anyone give me a bit of advice. Joined tinder last week to give it a go. Met a lovely guy called Bryan on first night and we got on like a house on fire. From what he tells me he seems it have been duped by a woman before on some kind of level and while he opened up , he was a little bit cagey.
Things were progressing nicely and we swapped phone numbers and arranged for him to call me the following day. The following day he deleted me on tinder and he won't answer calls or texts from me. This guy went from really interested to he's fallen off the face of the earth.
I'm really confused. Are all men like this now a days. I would love to talk to this guy again. Bryan from South Kilkenny if you are out there you have my number give me a call

Deranged96

Kitty cat1977 wrote: »

Hi All, can anyone give me a bit of advice. Joined tinder last week to give it a go. Met a lovely guy called Bryan on first night and we got on like a house on fire. From what he tells me he seems it have been duped by a woman before on some kind of level and while he opened up , he was a little bit cagey.
Things were progressing nicely and we swapped phone numbers and arranged for him to call me the following day. The following day he deleted me on tinder and he won't answer calls or texts from me. This guy went from really interested to he's fallen off the face of the earth.
I'm really confused. Are all men like this now a days. I would love to talk to this guy again. Bryan from South Kilkenny if you are out there you have my number give me a call

you poor lamb.
he's given you the shove, he'll never get in contact now after all that ignoring.
It's only one night wasted- move on and be strong

Healthis

Why on earth are you asking him to contact you despite being ignored? Keep your dignity

qweerty

Healthis wrote: »

Why on earth are you asking him to contact you despite being ignored? Keep your dignity.

Strikes me as being very insensitive. IMO, no dignity lost.

Unfortunately, I agree with Deranged96 in thinking he's quite unlikely to get in contact. Just believe that you'll very quickly get over it.

Dr. Shrike

Well...

I get the feeling that Kitty cat1977 is a woman. If so, I can imagine there's more dignified ways of trying to reconnect with him than on an LGBT forum.

But if you want a more useful opinion on her problem.

People running hot and then ice cold is a very common problem on dating sites and apps.

I believe that some people push themselves to connect to others too quickly online. From my experience, probably because they're tricked into doing it by their own emotions. For example feelings of loneliness, or just horniness, or maybe to prove that they're capable of being desired.

Now if their mood changes, they can find that they're not at all as into the person as they previously thought, without a way to articulate what's actually going on in their mind, or perhaps not willing to deal with their own guilt over potentially leading someone on. So they slowly withdraw from contact or cease contact altogether.

The only other situation I've come across that has a similar effect is when people who are just out of a long term relationship connect too quickly with someone and freak out. I've had two guys just entirely break off contact with me for that exact reason.

azezil

Ugh, is there no way of using Tinder without facebook?

Daith

azezil wrote: »

Ugh, is there no way of using Tinder without facebook?

Nope. Annoying as I'd rather not have to upload pics to FB just to use on Tinder. Or that we have 15 mutual friends in common......

Ash885

I'm sort of addicted to this haha, it's a great app! Made lots of new friends funnily enough. Word to the wise though, don't use it on holidays or you'll forever be saddened that there's so much talent elsewhere!

jabarrett35

Just wondering because Tinder uses Facebook if you've blocked or been blocked will they show up on Tinder or will the blocking carry over? Any ideas thanks

quadrifoglio verde

Good friend of mine met her bf on tinder, when I asked how'd she chose him, she replied he was the only one who messaged her back.
That's the thing, you haven't sent messages to all of your matches, message them all one by one and chances are you'll get a few who message back.

Healthis

Why do people match and then ignore your messages ?

Ash885

^ I think it's a combination of having a nosey and maybe actually checking out your profile. Although I message everyone I match, I don't expect a reply from people who live too far away because really it's not very manageable.

azezil

Daith wrote: »

Nope. Annoying as I'd rather not have to upload pics to FB just to use on Tinder. Or that we have 15 mutual friends in common......

That's just stupid, I only post random crap on Facebook and subscribe to things friends ask me too even though I've no intention of ever looking at the page :rolleyes:

Aard

So whoever can create a completely standalone Tinderesque app will likely be rolling in it? Man I wish I could code

Daith

Aard wrote: »

So whoever can create a completely standalone Tinderesque app will likely be rolling in it? Man I wish I could code

Isn't that grindr? Or do you just mean the "hot or not" swipe action?

Aard

I don't know tbh since I've never used either :$. But from what I know about Tinder, it only matches people who have mutually liked each other, which I think is pretty clever and appeals to the instantaneous nature of the internet today (unlike, say, OkCupid where it takes a lot of effort to match you with somebody). Plus it gives you better exposure rather than having people trawl through profiles more "manually" for want of a better word. So yeah, the swipe/match feature but without facebook! I don't know if Grindr works similarly but I understand it's more location-oriented.

wakka12

Anyways. Im bisexual and recently joined tinder and couldn't help but notice that I matched with much more gay men than I did with straight women on the site? The guys I match with are also quite attractive, some are even extremely good looking, but most girls I match with are very average, very few hot ones!
Should I be matching with much more women seeing as there are so many more straight women than gay women like?

Also when I match with a girl the vast majority don't send me a first message, while many gay guys do. Also many girls don't even reply to my first message! Some men don't but the majority do. The men also try much harder to keep up conversation than the women.

Are the men just hornier and more serious about meeting up in person eventually? is it more like a game to women and they have no real intent to meet a guy from tinder/? are they just more fussy? From what I can see a lot of the women are very up themselves, most of the 6's and 7's think they're 10's who can get any guy they want

wtf is up

I have 250 matches, Id say maybe 60 are female. And easily half are fairly ugly (I swipe right on every girl because so few usually swipe back) but Im very fussy with the guys. So most of my male matches are good. I'd consider myself reasonably good looking like, nothing stand out really. And no, I don't 'look gay' or anything or anywhere on my profile indicate that Im bi so thats not the reason.

wakka12

Ive been on dates with 3 guys from tinder. Ive only gotten the phone number of one girl off tinder never mind meet up! Im also equally interested in boys and girls so its nothing to do with me trying harder with males.

jobbridge4life

I'm not familiar with tinder, is there a facility that allows you to choose which orientations you'd like to match with? If so it may be the case that the gay/bisexual men are more open to matching with a bisexual than straight female users? Just a thought.

wakka12

jobbridge4life wrote: »

I'm not familiar with tinder, is there a facility that allows you to choose which orientations you'd like to match with? If so it may be the case that the gay/bisexual men are more open to matching with a bisexual than straight female users? Just a thought.

Nope...you choose to match with either males or females or both. Nobody on the site can tell what your orientation is apart from you.

BonnieSituation

wakka12 wrote: »

Nope...you choose to match with either males or females or both. Nobody on the site can tell what your orientation is apart from you.

I was the opposite. Got more numbers and matches with girls than with guys.

Annasopra

2 Tinder threads merged

ninty9er

Perhaps gay/bi men are more open to bisexuality?

BonnieSituation

Soooooooooooooooo... I re-downloaded the b***** thing tonight! EEP!

doodlebops2015

Just a very quick and probably stupid question.
Me and my husband are both bisexual. Both been out of that kind of action for more than a decade with kids and the like. Now hoping to start to re explore. Is tinder/grinder the "new" way??

wakka12

doodlebops2015 wrote: »

Just a very quick and probably stupid question.
Me and my husband are both bisexual. Both been out of that kind of action for more than a decade with kids and the like. Now hoping to start to re explore. Is tinder/grinder the "new" way??

Grindr is good for gay/bi men to find sex, but only sex. Its casual, 90% of users want no strings attached interactions!
Tinder is good for gay/bi men who are more interested in dating/relationships than casual sex.

I don't know what sites are good for lesbians ! But my lesbian friend does use a site called datch. So i don't know maybe try that, or you could go with tinder. But I'm not sure if theres many gay/bi girls on it as there are men.

Ten of Swords

Story in the paper this morning about a guy using an app to organise a meet in Cork city who was attacked by a gang. There is also at least one other known incident recently, also in Cork. UCC have said there has been a rise in homophobic assaults in the last number of months. Be careful out there.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/warning-over-homophobic-catfish-attacks-313132.html

doodlebops2015

Thanks Wakka12.
Obviously for us it would be purely casual so will have a look at Grindr and datch.
Will let you know how we get on.

doodlebops2015

Quick update.
We went on grindr lastnight. Oh my god how things have changed in the 15 years since either of us did anything "fun" .. lol.
So many guys and all so forward. My hubby loved it. ha ha

Can't seem to find that datch you were mentioning. Nothing coming up on a search.

doodlebops2015

Actually, just found it . 2 t's .. will have a look tonight.