Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

theenergy

runningbuddy wrote: »

Drowning folks.....I took 100mg of Trazadone last night...usually take 50mg...I was alone with my 3 kids p...my hubby working and for the first time in my life....I felt like it wanted to commit suicide.

I had to call in sick again today....as prob only slept 2 hours.....seeing GP tomorrow morning....but I feel nothing will work at this stage. He had suggested Lexapro in the past....but I read that can cause insomnia.....last thing I need !!

HANG IN THERE.... IT WILL PASS OVER ...

NicoleW85

Hugo Stiglitz wrote:

I never even heard of Social Prescribing before, but it sounds great! Let us know how you get with it Nicole.

Thanks! I'd never heard of it either - there should be a co-ordinator in every county! You can do self help workshops, art&craft, gardening, mountain walking & loads more! Great for the mind I reckon

greenfrogs

timecurve12 wrote: »

So contemplating suicide . Can't make a a decision about anything let alone something as huge as that so it's just turning over and over in my mind. Seems to be part of the comedown from being really anxious all day yesterday. Feel like I've let everyone down, so can't really turn to anyone. The mental health services have let me down to be honest. Anyway hope everyone else is feeling better.

Would you consider going to a&e. I know you say the mental health services have let you down however there will be different doctors in a&e who may offer better treatment.

Also you have let no one down. None of this is your fault. Like Grem said keep talking here. It can be really beneficial.

mg1982

timecurve12 wrote: »

So contemplating suicide . Can't make a a decision about anything let alone something as huge as that so it's just turning over and over in my mind. Seems to be part of the comedown from being really anxious all day yesterday. Feel like I've let everyone down, so can't really turn to anyone. The mental health services have let me down to be honest. Anyway hope everyone else is feeling better.

The suicidal thoughts will pass tc, remember they are only temporary.You had a rough day yesterday and this is the hangover effect. I get what you say about the mental health services,i feel they dont do nearly enough to help people when they get to this stage. I know there is pieta house which is meant to be good but not sure if there in your area.

scrimshanker

timecurve12 wrote: »

So contemplating suicide . Can't make a a decision about anything let alone something as huge as that so it's just turning over and over in my mind. Seems to be part of the comedown from being really anxious all day yesterday. Feel like I've let everyone down, so can't really turn to anyone. The mental health services have let me down to be honest. Anyway hope everyone else is feeling better

Turn to us if you've nobody else to turn to. You can pm me any time if you like. No holds barred, I won't judge you over whatever you say, no matter how much you feel you've let people down.

It's very tough to feel that way. You aren't alone here, I know I've felt like that plenty of times before and I found it like the deepest darkest hole of no hope at its worst. But it passes, eventually it passes and you come out the other side. In the meantime, please just hang on. Talk to us here if it helps, even if just to say how awful you still feel. This will pass.

NicoleW85

^^^same goes for me - if ANY of you need to offload, PM & share your thoughts - a problem shared is a problem halved

timecurve12

I have an appointment with the doctor next week, but I go in and tell them everything and it's just like it comes to nothing. It's the same every time.

scrimshanker

timecurve12 wrote: »

I have an appointment with the doctor next week, but I go in and tell them everything and it's just like it comes to nothing. It's the same every time.

Have you tried anything else, like therapy of any sort? If you feel like you're not making any progress and have tried therapy and meds, you can always ask your doc if getting a specialist opinion would be helpful.

timecurve12

scrimshanker wrote: »

Have you tried anything else, like therapy of any sort? If you feel like you're not making any progress and have tried therapy and meds, you can always ask your doc if getting a specialist opinion would be helpful.

I'm on the waiting list for therapy, I really want to do it... could be months I dunno.in the meantime they just tell me do mindfulness... I need more than that to be honest. They offer no support, even when I tell them about suicidal thoughts, maybe 'cause they assume I won't do it... they're tired of me now and tbh I'm tired of myself.

cannotcope

very depressed today becasue the guy is with the girl i like. was feeling better but saw them together

scrimshanker

cannotcope wrote: »

very depressed today becasue the guy is with the girl i like. was feeling better but saw them together

Sorry to hear that. Tough when feelings aren't reciprocated.

Had a very tough therapy session today.

alaskayoung

Met with my psychiatrist again this morning and she's very concerned about the effects that this antidepressant is having on my heart so yet again I have to be weaned off and started on another. It's made my heart super irregular so now it skips a beat about 10 times a minute, is tachycardic, gives me chest pain and low blood pressure so I'm constantly lightheaded and dizzy. I'm so unbelievably frustrated. This will be the 6th one I've tried in the past 6 months. I don't seem to be able to tolerate any of them. I think she wants to try me on Effexor next but I've heard that's very difficult to come off. Aaagh.
She started me on a mood stabilizer, Lamictal, to work in conjunction with it a few weeks ago and that seems to have made a huge difference so that's something I guess. Going on holidays tomorrow and will more than likely spend the weeks going through withdrawal from the Lofepramine now. I got my dose reduced in the past and I felt terrible until I adjusted. Sigh.
Sorry just moaning. I'll stop now :P

mg1982

Met with my psychiatrist today or one of them. As usual its a waste of time going in there. He barely listened and told me a list of things that i have heard ten times already. Patronising experience.

Euphoria Intensifies

mg1982 wrote: »

Met with my psychiatrist today or one of them. As usual its a waste of time going in there. He barely listened and told me a list of things that i have heard ten times already. Patronising experience.

I've had that experience in the past. In and out in ten minutes and feel like you haven't been listened to. It's so disheartening. I've been really lucky with my experience this time. My consultant and the regs are all lovely and actually listen and take what I say on board. I wish it was like that for everyone.

NicoleW85

The psychiatrist I saw this morning was lovely but she kept going "mmm-hmmm, mmm-hmmm" as I was talking and it was a bit off putting. But she was listening and writing so I know she wasn't just bored! I hope. When I tell them my story over again I feel like I should be locked up - it comes across worse & worse the more I recall it! The lady from social prescription got back to me & she wants to meet me on Monday morning to get a plan of action going. Really looking forward to it

heyday30

mg1982 wrote: »

Met with my psychiatrist today or one of them. As usual its a waste of time going in there. He barely listened and told me a list of things that i have heard ten times already. Patronising experience.

Sorry to hear mg.
Had the exact same experience. List of things I bet included diet exercise bla bla bla.

I only really got good help privately. Though at €60 a pop it's expensive. well worth it though imo.

mg1982

heyday30 wrote: »

Sorry to hear mg.
Had the exact same experience. List of things I bet included diet exercise bla bla bla.

I only really got good help privately. Though at €60 a pop it's expensive. well worth it though imo.

Is it a psychiatrist or psychologist your seeing privately ?

Just getting frustrated with the whole thing now tbh.

Joya

such a tough day today..
im still reducing my meds and in one and a half month i came down from 60
to10, today is the first 10 day..

whenever i cut i got headaches,body aches all over as i have a flu


but tday is harder it seems.. 10 is really scaring me, by brain is not working properly, everythings makin me sad and really low.. id just sleep and not awake...

alaskayoung

I wish I could let go of this fxcking eating disorder. It's been 5 years.

heyday30

mg1982 wrote: »

Is it a psychiatrist or psychologist your seeing privately ?

Just getting frustrated with the whole thing now tbh.

she was a psychologist. Got more down to the root of the depression n anxiety and coping skills to deal with it Rather than medicating although I do still take meds. She made sense of whats going on in my head.

It's very frustrating. I completely understand.

Euphoria Intensifies

alaskayoung wrote: »

I wish I could let go of this fxcking eating disorder. It's been 5 years.

I hear that! Although it's been more like 13 years in my case >.< I keep fighting against doing any work on it though.

carzony

sorry for interrupting lads,

In the middle of a major panic attack.. can't breath, right arm is gone dead, shaking all over, heart is pounding and i'm dizzy.. needed to post cause i can't get rid of the panic and the above symptoms for the past hour atleast.. I've never experienced this previously, I actually contemplating ringing an ambulance..

my friend broke every red light in Dublin to get me home tonight....

the ****ing panic wont go away..

greenfrogs

carzony wrote: »

sorry for interrupting lads,

In the middle of a major panic attack.. can't breath, right arm is gone dead, shaking all over, heart is pounding and i'm dizzy.. needed to post cause i can't get rid of the panic and the above symptoms for the past hour atleast.. I've never experienced this previously, I actually contemplating ringing an ambulance..

my friend broke every red light in Dublin to get me home tonight....

the ****ing panic wont go away..

Personally I think you should ring an ambulance or go to a&e with someone else driving. That sounds horrible.

Hugo Stiglitz

greenfrogs wrote: »

Personally I think you should ring an ambulance or go to a&e with someone else driving. That sounds horrible.

+1 Carzony. It could just be the panic, but the severity of the before unseen symptoms might need to be looked at.

Hope it passes for you soon there, friend.

Hugo Stiglitz

Joya wrote: »

such a tough day today..
im still reducing my meds and in one and a half month i came down from 60
to10, today is the first 10 day..

whenever i cut i got headaches,body aches all over as i have a flu


but tday is harder it seems.. 10 is really scaring me, by brain is not working properly, everythings makin me sad and really low.. id just sleep and not awake...

Sorry to hear of your tough day there Joya. Hopefully the next few days won't be as bad.

carzony

greenfrogs wrote: »

Personally I think you should ring an ambulance or go to a&e with someone else driving. That sounds horrible.

Just a feeling of panic and breathlessness are still present but I can feel a slight sense of calm coming back..

I think leaving the house might make things worse right now, I feel comfort where I am... I'll have to go to the gp tomorrow... the councellor said stay off medication for the next few weeks but I don't think that's a good idea now.....


I had every symptom you could think of tonight

Joya

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sorry to hear of your tough day there Joya. Hopefully the next few days won't be as bad.

Hope so too Hugo....
But "demons" must be faced sooner or later.. and I thought it's time so help me god...
it's also that I miss my family a lot......

scrimshanker

In such a funk after yesterday. So sad and so full of self pity today. Don't want to get up or do anything.

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

In such a funk after yesterday. So sad and so full of self pity today. Don't want to get up or do anything.

Hope it passes soon scrim. Lack of motivation is a common problem for me. Just by doing little things can help.

cantstandya

Long one here, so apologies in advance!

I've had severe social anxiety and depression since I was a teenager, I'm in my late 20's now. I plucked up the courage to finally see my GP about it 2010 and he referred me on to the local mental health team. Was seen by a psychiatrist and prescribed various antidepressants over the next two and a half years that didn't really make me feel any different. I also eventually got seen by a psychologist and had a few CBT sessions with him until he returned home and wasn't replaced. My only contact with the clinic then was seeing a different psych in a satellite clinic every 3 months for a cursory chat and to renew my script. I got tired of that and eventually gave up the meds cold turkey and stopped going to renew my script. I retreated back into my lonely world of sleeping, crying, self harming and signing on until early 2014 when a childhood friend and neighbor took his own life.

The shock and horror of that was like a wake up call, as he was in a similar enough situation to me, and I decided to have one last go of getting help. I contacted Pieta House and after being evaluated, was assigned a very good psychologist who I ended up seeing for 22 weeks there. Was convinced that maybe life was worth living by her, and was also persuaded to go back to education, and I enrolled in a 2 year course in a local VEC.

I had tried FAS courses etc before, but never managed to last more than a few days because of my anxiety, but I was determined not to let it beat me this time. First few weeks were incredibly hard, not the course itself just the social aspects like lunch, breaks etc and I had to really fight the urge to go home or hide in the bathroom. But I stuck it out and managed to get used to it, made a few casual friends, and ended up finishing with the highest exam marks in the class.

We finished at the end of May and aren't back til the start of September, and since we finished I've unfortunately reverted back to my ways of hiding from the world. I'm back to getting cold sweats doing normal stuff like walking down the street or queuing in the supermarket, and I just feel really lonely and hopeless all the time. Find it very hard to sleep as well.

It just feels like no matter how hard I try, I'll never beat this. I've tried so many things and nothing has worked long term. I honestly don't know what to do now. There's not much point going to the GP as he'll just refer to the community team who'll throw pills at me and I can't afford private counseling. I can't go back to Pieta either cos I've already taken up more than my fair share of their time. Just wish that I could be a normal person, and not the panic stricken, walking embarrassment that I am.

I don't know what I'm expecting to happen by waffling on here, just feels good to get this off my chest.

Sorry again for the long post.