Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

If you had a pain in your leg and it was so bad you thought you were going to die would you go to a hospital? This is no different to that. Could you get a lift or taxi to a hospital/southdoc or the equivalent in your area?

I know I should but I just dont have time. I have exams next week. I didnt do anything today. I'm going to fail annd lose my job and then I'll really be as welll of fdead. I just need this to sdtop. I know it;s in my head, I just don't know why i cant stop it when i already know I'm just being stupid. I'm so sorry, I shouldnt be dumping this on other people.

fr336

scrimshanker wrote: »

I know I should but I just dont have time. I have exams next week. I didnt do anything today. I'm going to fail annd lose my job and then I'll really be as welll of fdead. I just need this to sdtop. I know it;s in my head, I just don't know why i cant stop it when i already know I'm just being stupid. I'm so sorry, I shouldnt be dumping this on other people.

Don't be sorry at all, you need to let this out!! Ahh exams....I think we've found the cause. Need to calm things down.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I know I should but I just dont have time. I have exams next week. I didnt do anything today. I'm going to fail annd lose my job and then I'll really be as welll of fdead. I just need this to sdtop. I know it;s in my head, I just don't know why i cant stop it when i already know I'm just being stupid. I'm so sorry, I shouldnt be dumping this on other people.

Do you think you will be able to study tomorrow if you still feel like this. Maybe it is better to get this sorted first and then focus on the studying. I don't think any exam or study should be making you feel like this.

And don't even think of apologising. This thread is here so we can support one another.

fr336

greenfrogs wrote: »

Do you think you will be able to study tomorrow if you still feel like this. Maybe it is better to get this sorted first and then focus on the studying. I don't think any exam or study should be making you feel like this.

And don't even think of apologising. This thread is here so we can support one another.

Indeed, ideally I'd get this sorted first tbh...put the exams off somehow.

fr336

I think I've wrecked myself even more with too much exercise but then succumbing to junk food late at night i.e. making sleep even worse by ridding my body of stress than labouring it with it again later. I've done this a few days now and feel worse than ever - memory and mind are decreasing my the day, really scary, before was bad but this is another level. So I think if people get to such an extreme stage as me, be very careful and if possible seek other's advice and counsel.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

Do you think you will be able to study tomorrow if you still feel like this. Maybe it is better to get this sorted first and then focus on the studying. I don't think any exam or study should be making you feel like this.

And don't even think of apologising. This thread is here so we can support one another.

No, that;s the terrifying thing. This is 2 days now of uselessness and no sign of tomorrow being better... Well actually it's not, I've been a waster for the last month not studying in reality so I don't know why I'm complaining because it's actually my own fault.. I don't know what a doctor can even do for me. Any tablets to calm down would send me asleep, and that would only make things worse because then I'd have been sleeping instead of studying. I'm just going nowhere in life.

fr336

scrimshanker wrote: »

No, that;s the terrifying thing. This is 2 days now of uselessness and no sign of tomorrow being better... Well actually it's not, I've been a waster for the last month not studying in reality so I don't know why I'm complaining because it's actually my own fault.. I don't know what a doctor can even do for me. Any tablets to calm down would send me asleep, and that would only make things worse because then I'd have been sleeping instead of studying. I'm just going nowhere in life.

Honestly you seem close to burn out or already there my friend, you need the sleep otherwise in all likelehood you'll both fail current studying and mess things up hugely in the medium to long term

scrimshanker

fr336 wrote: »

Honestly you seem close to burn out or already there my friend, you need the sleep otherwise in all likelehood you'll both fail current studying and mess things up hugely in the medium to long term

Yeah... I'm a disaster waiting to happen I guess. I just don't know where to go. Always went to college doc, but don't want to go to college doc now because I don't want anything like this on my file. Or be seen. And I can't go back anyway. Last time (different college that I dropped out of) I promised I'd see a counsellor in return for my prescription because the doc wouldn't prescribe without me promising that, and I know if I go to the doctor they'll try and insist and I can't do that because I tried that once and it was torture. I'd rather stick pins in myself. I just don't know what to do. I can't sit in a room and tell anyone this, I physically can't get the words out.

fr336

scrimshanker wrote: »

Yeah... I'm a disaster waiting to happen I guess. I just don't know where to go. Always went to college doc, but don't want to go to college doc now because I don't want anything like this on my file. Or be seen. And I can't go back anyway. Last time (different college that I dropped out of) I promised I'd see a counsellor in return for my prescription because the doc wouldn't prescribe without me promising that, and I know if I go to the doctor they'll try and insist and I can't do that because I tried that once and it was torture. I'd rather stick pins in myself. I just don't know what to do. I can't sit in a room and tell anyone this, I physically can't get the words out.

Honestly, go back to the doctor AND go to counselling. What is one person to the possibilty of you feeling relieved to a small or great extent? You are only human, you need to do this!! Don't ruin your life either short medium or long term because you're nervous about talking to someone else! Even if you don't talk, they are only there being paid it doesn't matter just sit and try. Then go back again and build it up, one day you might even look forward to it. From someone who's at breaking point, DO SOMETHING NOW.

scrimshanker

fr336 wrote: »

Honestly, go back to the doctor AND go to counselling. What is one person to the possibilty of you feeling relieved to a small or great extent? You are only human, you need to do this!! Don't ruin your life either short medium or long term because you're nervous about talking to someone else! Even if you don't talk, they are only there being paid it doesn't matter just sit and try. Then go back again and build it up, one day you might even look forward to it. From someone who's at breaking point, DO SOMETHING NOW.

Thanks for the advice. I will try to go back. Even going in to make the appointment will be awful because it's so public. But I really don't want this to destroy everything I've worked for. You are right, I'm being ridiculous. It's just entirely against my nature to talk. Feel sick at the prospect of it, someone sitting there looking at me...

Sorry to hear things are so bad for you. I hope you have support around you.

fr336

scrimshanker wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. I will try to go back. Even going in to make the appointment will be awful because it's so public. But I really don't want this to destroy everything I've worked for. You are right, I'm being ridiculous. It's just entirely against my nature to talk. Feel sick at the prospect of it, someone sitting there looking at me...

Sorry to hear things are so bad for you. I hope you have support around you.

Even if they're the nastiest, most judgemental counsellor of all time, which they probably won't be, stuff 'em...you are better than this, do what needs to be done and take the best out of it and each day. Grab this by the balls don't let it throw you around you do the throwing.

norwegianwood

In a few months I'll be graduating college and I have no idea what I want to do with my life and every day the anxiety is getting worse, I just keep having visions of myself still living with my parents at 30 and I'm terrified. I haven't slept properly in about a month, my mind is constantly going a mile a minute, I didn't think I'd ever end up in this position, I always assumed because I was reasonably smart I'd have a good career but now I don't see anyone hiring me. I wouldn't hire me, I have absolutely no interpersonal skills. Just wish I could give up completely.

fr336

norwegianwood wrote: »

In a few months I'll be graduating college and I have no idea what I want to do with my life and every day the anxiety is getting worse, I just keep having visions of myself still living with my parents at 30 and I'm terrified. I haven't slept properly in about a month, my mind is constantly going a mile a minute, I didn't think I'd ever end up in this position, I always assumed because I was reasonably smart I'd have a good career but now I don't see anyone hiring me. I wouldn't hire me, I have absolutely no interpersonal skills. Just wish I could give up completely.

Eat well, sleep well, work out well. First steps.

norwegianwood

fr336 wrote: »

Eat well, sleep well, work out well. First steps.

I eat well and work out nearly every day, be nice if I could get to sleep sometimes but I'm too worried.

CZ 453

norwegianwood wrote: »

In a few months I'll be graduating college and I have no idea what I want to do with my life and every day the anxiety is getting worse, I just keep having visions of myself still living with my parents at 30 and I'm terrified. I haven't slept properly in about a month, my mind is constantly going a mile a minute, I didn't think I'd ever end up in this position, I always assumed because I was reasonably smart I'd have a good career but now I don't see anyone hiring me. I wouldn't hire me, I have absolutely no interpersonal skills. Just wish I could give up completely.

What are you anxious about? A job or living with your parents until you're 30?

norwegianwood

CZ 453 wrote: »

What are you anxious about? A job or living with your parents until you're 30?

Not getting a job and still living with my parents at 30, sorry I was a bit all over the place typing that it probably makes no sense!

scrimshanker

norwegianwood wrote: »

Not getting a job and still living with my parents at 30, sorry I was a bit all over the place typing that it probably makes no sense!

If it helps, I think that's fairly normal to feel that way. Everyone wants to be a success, so it's normal to worry that things might not work out that way. You can only do your best. I think it's especially hard if you're very bright and everyone expects you to be a huge success. It's unfair pressure.

Feeling an awful lot better this morning. Still feeling slightly choked and I'm very annoyed at myself about the last couple of days, but thankfully it's less like the world is ending. Still took hours to get up this morning and haven't done anything productive yet, but baby steps. Once my exams are over I think I'll talk with a friend who might be a good moral support. Or maybe not. Is it taking advantage of someone's nice nature? They've said they're always there if I ever need to talk but I wonder sometimes if they only say that out of a sense of obligation.

Euphoria Intensifies

Scrimshanker - good to hear you're feeling a bit better today. Do you want to talk some more about your fears about your anxiety etc and that you feel getting help will ruin everything for you? This thread is a good place to turn if you need support but don't want to talk just to your friend. Also, the Samaritans might be another way to go. You can email them as well as their phone helpline.

norwegianwood - I felt the exact same as you when I was in the final year of my degree. You can take some time out after you finish college maybe to think about what job/career you're interested in going for. Obviously it is really difficult to find employment at the minute in some sectors, especially for young people just out of college. But there's a few different things you could try. Would you consider going to Australia/New Zealand etc on a working holiday visa for a year? There's also loads of (paid) internship programmes in Europe that you could do for a few months - pay isn't amazing, but you'd have enough for accommodation and to live on. I'm assuming (possibly incorrectly) that you're in your early 20s - you've many years to find yourself a job/move out before you hit 30.

scrimshanker

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Scrimshanker - good to hear you're feeling a bit better today. Do you want to talk some more about your fears about your anxiety etc and that you feel getting help will ruin everything for you? This thread is a good place to turn if you need support but don't want to talk just to your friend. Also, the Samaritans might be another way to go. You can email them as well as their phone helpline.

tbh I don't even know what can be gained from talking to friends. I'm not entirely sure what put that thought in my head of actually taking up the offer to talk about it. Bizarre.

I think I just want to be cornered a bit on it because I don't see myself being able to do anything about it myself. From experience, I know I'll chicken out. Need to think on what to do.

Roquentin

TrustedApple

Very upset now. One of my best friends has told me she cant be friends with me anymore as her boyfriend dosint like the idea of one of her best friends being a straight guy.

Like i have know her for over a year now and she has been with this guy for 3 months and never liked me since day 1 as he fells afraid of me as she tells me everything about guys she date and i tell her everything about girls i date.

There is no feelings what so ever between us other then friends from day 1 the 1st time i met her.

He fells extremely threatened that she speaks to me more then she speaks to him.

And that we talk about everything.

I don't know what to say to her other then if he is trying to control who you are friends with at this early stage its not a good sign at all as if he can get away with it he will be more and more controlling.

Roquentin

sounds like he has esteem issues

TrustedApple

Roquentin wrote: »

sounds like he has esteem issues

Like he does i think. As i was massaging her the other night when i was out on my date at a art gallery that she was holding her expo in saying how nerves i was about metting her friends and how my night was going. She was also doing the same with me on her date letting each other know how where getting on.

He just dosint like it but i cant say or do anything about it as there is not point fighting with the world

Roquentin

maybe narcissistic as well. they live on control

heyday30

Hi folks I've returned to the dark side. Formerly handbagmad.
Hope all are ok x

Roquentin

heyday30 wrote: »

Hi folks I've returned to the dark side. Formerly handbagmad.
Hope all are ok x

what was the dark side like

heyday30

Roquentin wrote: »

what was the dark side like

Not so nice. Very dark bad few weeks R.
Keep fighting though.

Hugo Stiglitz

heyday30 wrote: »

Hi folks I've returned to the dark side. Formerly handbagmad.
Hope all are ok x

It's lovely to have you back H but if only in better circumstances.

CZ 453

heyday30 wrote: »

Hi folks I've returned to the dark side. Formerly handbagmad.
Hope all are ok x

Who are you....who who, who who?

is mise spartacus

Just want to break down, so much anxiety and stress has caused my depression to just engulf me
sigh