Brilliantly Clever Celebrity quotes

Lou.m

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" -

Peter Kaye


Maria Callas..when asked if she had hit a man over the head with a bottle of gin.

No. It would have been a shame for the bottle.

Gore Vidal.

Andy Warhol is the only genius I've ever known with an I.Q. of 60.

Peter Ustinov.

On Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night.

Hotale.com

If someone quotes Russell Brand's idiotic "Revolution" in here I'll be very annoyed.

Oh dear! I find I'm watching television that night.

Peter Cook, on receiving an invitation to dine with Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson.

Duff

"He DID kick me up the arse"

Len Brennan.

preston johnny

'If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised'....Dorothy Parker

wazky

'No, I'm not married as it happens.'

Tiger Woods

c_man

“Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.”

- Linda Martin

ryan101

To Do Is To Be

- Nietzsche

To Be Is To Do

- Kant

Do Be Do Be Do

- Sinatra

c_man

ryan101 wrote: »

Yeah

Usher?

tallus

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Mae West. One of the wittiest people ever.

You could fill a book with her quotes alone.

Schwiiing

c_man wrote: »

Usher?

James Hetfield :pac:

tallus

tallus wrote: »

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

It's better to be looked over, than overlooked.

And the all time classic:

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

Barely There

Be Yourself.

Everyone else is already taken.



Oscar Wilde.

Aquagakka

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."

Groucho Marx.

Lock Knife

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word?"
Gordon Strachan: "Velocity"

SEPT 23 1989

Friends, Family, Religion. These are the three demons you must slay in order to succeed in business.

biko

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."
—Janis Joplin

Tony EH

"Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot!"


Martin Prince

fruvai

"She's the original good time that was had by all"


- Bette Davis about Marilyn Monroe

Santa Cruz

"Playing a digeridoo is like making love to a beautiful women"
Rolf Harris??

Chinasea

Banannnnnna Republic.


Bob Geldof

Aquagakka

"And let that be a lesson to you all. Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row."


Tennis player Vitas Gerulaitis after beating Jimmy Connors in the 1980 Masters.
(Gerulaitis had lost their previous 16 matches.)

Muise...

preston johnny wrote: »

'If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised'....Dorothy Parker

I thought it was "If you laid all the girls at Vassar from end to end... I wouldn't be at all surprised."

Since it's Friday evening, I'll quote her thus: "One more drink and I'll be under the host."

Rory Gallagher

I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker.
-Stanley Kubrick.

Tarzana

I'm fond of this Sam Rockwell one. Wonderfully blunt and honest.

I want to be a character actor, but I also want to make money.

Mike747

Tony EH wrote: »

"Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot!"


Martin Prince

Didn't they run a caption across the screen explaining the historical meaning of the word faggot when he said that?

uch

"Shuuusssh,,,,, I don't come to you at work and tell you how to sweep up!"

Billy Connolly

Johnnythefox4

Not really a celeb , but I love this Henry Kissinger quote:

“There can't be a crisis next week, my schedule is already full.”

wp_rathead

2 of my favs by the brilliant Oscar Wilde

“People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.”

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

Tony EH

Mike747 wrote: »

Didn't they run a caption across the screen explaining the historical meaning of the word faggot when he said that?

Honestly can't remember.

Sunglasses Ron

"What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?" – Bill Clinton, reacting to a survey of journalists that ranked the Monica Lewinsky scandal as the 53rd most significant story of the century.

:pac::pac:

Riddle101

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” – Kate Moss

Aquagakka

"I only know the first two lines of 'The Sash',
because after that we've usually scored."

-Roy Aitken.

K.Flyer

Jim Royale (The Royale Family)
"...I paid a quid for these pants and I've got fifty pence worth stuck up me arse." 

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!” - Billy Connolly.

K.Flyer

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies..."
Groucho Marx

Teyla Emmagan

Riddle101 wrote: »

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” – Kate Moss

She did in her h*le say that. That's some stupid weight watchers line. I am not a fan of Kate Moss but at least she's never given diet tips.

Adamantium

Gary Oldman on Conan TBS talking about voice over work on videogames:

You have to shout commands over a lot of noise, a lot of music and explosions. You have to cover all of the variables. So you go into a booth and basically say things like, 'Over there!'" Oldman screamed. "On the ridge! Shoot! Tank! Incoming! But louder than I'm doing right now."

"That's not possible," Conan replied.

"I did one game with Kiefer Sutherland, who was playing an American corporal," he said, referring to Corporal Roebuck from Call of Duty: World at War. "He had been doing this for two days and when he came out of the booth he said, 'Man, I haven't shouted this much since I was married.'"



For a romantic comedy to be three hours long, that's longer than most marriages.
David Fincher

I don't think it's fair to compare Dick Cheney to Vader - it's unfair to Vader.
Mark Hamill

I'm surprised at people who have a passion for Mitt Romney, because he's taken every position there is. I would cast this guy as the president in a heartbeat... but I just cannot believe a word he says.

Mark Hamill

dee_mc

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

She did in her h*le say that. That's some stupid weight watchers line. I am not a fan of Kate Moss but at least she's never given diet tips.

Yes she did, in 2009. She certainly didn't invent the phrase, but she said it.

Teyla Emmagan

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

She did in her h*le say that. That's some stupid weight watchers line. I am not a fan of Kate Moss but at least she's never given diet tips.

She certainly did. There was absolute uproar over it too!

Teyla Emmagan

dee_mc wrote: »

Yes she did, in 2009. She certainly didn't invent the phrase, but she said it.

You can't really attribute it to her then. That line is older than I am!

Menas

Grouch Marx. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

dee_mc

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

You can't really attribute it to her then. That line is older than I am!

I didn't 'attribute it to her' - I simply confirmed that she did indeed say it.

The Hill Billy

Lady Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband I would put poison in your coffee."
Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband I would drink it."

J Cheever Loophole

I was sure this would have been mentioned by now;

"When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now."

Bob Monkhouse.

Also...

"He would, wouldn't he."

Mandy Rice-Davies, in response to a prosecution claim that Lord Astor said he had never met her or had sex with her.

K.Flyer

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” 
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.”

trancemuzic

'If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain . Do you know which philosopher said that ? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair if tits .

:: David Brent

Zed Bank

Riddle101 wrote: »

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” – Kate Moss

Except double chocolate fudge cake.

Zebra3

Rome wasn't built in a day. Then again, I wasn't on that particular job.-Brian Clough

sligojoek

I forget who said it.

"A rock n roll guitarist plays three chords to thousands of people.
A jazz guitarist plays thousands of chords to three people."

stefan idiot jones

The Trailer Park Boys, Ricky....

Ricky: **** this court. **** Jim Lahey. **** Randy. **** those two idiot cops right there. **** suit dummies; as a matter of fact **** legal aid. **** Danny and Terry's Buffalo Chicken Wings. **** all the old wood in here. **** the moon, **** corn on the cob, **** squirrels. **** me, **** you, **** everything!